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Greetings!
Take a deep breath...
You're not a failure as a parent. You're not helpless.
Also, you're not alone. When you start to think you're a failure, consider this: There are many kids
with neglectful parents who never use drugs. There are also children
with seemingly model parents who do use drugs. So the first thing to accept is that drugs, while indeed dangerous,
are one more problem for your youngsters to handle. And they'll do it
better and faster if you're aware, involved and don't stick your head
in the sand. THE AWARE PARENT WHO USES THEIR INTUITION INSTEAD OF THEIR FEAR HAS THE SAFEST CHILDREN
Part of awareness and a major deterrent to experimentation is to talk to your kids about drugs. Even with a lot of parental involvement, there are no
guarantees. So it's important to know the symptoms of drug use and to
take action when you see your kid displaying them. THE WARNING SIGNS
There are no symptoms that are absolutely reliable. However, there are clues (see below). Most of these symptoms tend to be gradual which is why parental awareness is so important. Don't jump to conclusions. Do investigate any suspicions you have as fully as possible. Trust your intuition. Many of the warning signs for drug use are the same as those for
depression or for the ups and downs of being a teenager. There's also
the possibility it's an emotional or physical problem. Whatever the problem, we're talking about a child who needs help. Right now.
START WITHIN THE FAMILY - DON'T WAIT TO GET HELP WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM
Nothing beats the power of family support and love. That has to start with frank discussions. Don't make it an attack. Don't talk with your child when they seem under the influence. Wait for a calm moment and then explain that you're worried about a
certain behavior (be specific) and give your child every opportunity to
explain. That means really listening, not doing all the talking.
Use "I" messages -- sentences that start with "I" -- explaining how your child's drug use affects you and your family. At the same time, it's important to speak frankly about the
possibility of drugs.
It's particularly important to talk about
your values and why you're dead set against drugs. When your youngster seems evasive or when they have explanations that are
not convincing, you need to consult your doctor or a professional counselor to rule out emotional problems or illness and to ask for advice. FURTHER ACTION IS PROBABLY NECESSARY
Even when your child seems belligerent or non-responsive, when you suspect drugs are involved, immediate action is vital.
First, you'll need an evaluation from a health professional skilled
in diagnosing adolescents with alcohol and/or drug problems. For the user, there are short-term drug and alcohol treatment centers for those that need detoxification, residential therapeutic treatment centers and wilderness programs. The right program depends entirely on the circumstances and the
degree of drug involvement. Here, you'll need professional help to make
an informed choice.
Another point: For a program to succeed, the family needs to be
part of it. This can mean family and/or personal counseling. It may also
involve participating in a support group where you learn about
co-dependency and how not to play into the problems that might prompt
further drug use.
When you don't know about drug programs or how to choose the right program for your adolescent, call an educational consultant, your family
doctor, local hospital or county mental health society or school
counselor.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GIVE UP AND USE YOUR INTUITION INSTEAD OF YOUR FEAR That child who upsets you so much is the same little boy or girl
who, only yesterday, gave you such joy. They're in way over their
heads, and they never needed you quite as much as they need you now.
No matter what they say. The Telltale Signs
- Chronic eye redness, sore throat or dry cough
- Chronic lying, especially about whereabouts
- Chronic fatigue, withdrawal, carelessness about personal grooming
- Deteriorating relationships with family members
- Loss of interest in favorite activities, hobbies, sports
- Major changes in eating or sleeping pattern
- School problems - slipping grades, absenteeism
- Wild mood swings, hostility, or abusive behavior
- Wholesale changes in friends
Horizon Family Solutions offers unique services that are tailored to the individual needs of
our clients and provide attentive support to ensure ongoing development
towards long term success. |
8 CHALLENGING PERSONALITIES - Part 4 -
"Emotional Train Wreck"
Every parent, every program, every counselor, every
friend, every teacher knows or has at least one - a bully, a clown, a Dear Abby,
a golden child, a gossip, a phantom, a whiner, and an emotional train wreck.
"Emotional Train Wreck"
Behavior and its impact:
This personality style surfaces in many variations including depression, dramatic behavior, insecurity, neediness or serious social awkwardness. They drain others emotionally and don't get better when others offer encouragement. Patience and time have no real positive impact on them. Your heart goes out to them, yet, you also feel manipulated and taken advantage of.
Train Wrecks experience little love in life because they have unconsciously tried to extort it from others - that is why it is unsatisfying when they succeed.
Train Wrecks are not often admired because they force us to see them through a prison of need. Train Wrecks do experience a positive sense of their own importance when people reach out to them, however, that dissipates quickly after the crisis is over.
How the behavior is typically
reinforced:
We do Train Wrecks no favor when we fuel their victim mentality - we typically do that by giving them lots of attention and time, on their own terms.
We do the same thing when we push them away on their terms (meaning they are manipulating us to reject them).
How to help:
Surprise the Train Wreck by caring for them when they are not extorting you for it. Set healthy personal boundaries.
Help them see how they push and pull the people around them to get warmth, and how that usually backfires.
Chronic cases will need a team approach to surround them with love and strength.
Treat them as capable, responsible people.
Articles of Interest
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Around the Country
Nation's Report Card

Alabama's
"Access" program introduces distance learning to the state.
Alabama NBC affiliate WAFF-TV (1/10) reports that Alabama has created a distance learning program called
Access which "allows students from all over the state to take specialized
courses that may not be offered at their schools."
It is the first program of
its kind in Alabama.
"It's pretty easy, it's kind of like watching power point,"
said Katelynn Walsh, a senior at Madison County High School.
"With possible
education budget cuts...programs like Access are important to students,
especially in rural areas," according to Alabama Governor Bob Riley (R). And
some students, like Eric Neal of Madison County High School, even prefer the
distance classes.
"It helps you focus more, without the distraction of a lot of
students in the classroom, it just lets you focus on your studies," he said.
California -In an effort to prevent more students from
dropping out of high school, the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) has
launched a new campaign targeting at-risk teenagers that will draw on the
popularity of Internet Web sites such as YouTube and MySpace as well as on radio
spots to feature testimonials from former dropouts. In addition, the district
has created a Web site, http://www.myfuturemydecision.com,
to highlight alternative ways of earning a diploma and to describe its numerous
continuation schools and community college programs. With more than 25 percent
of Los Angeles students dropping out in 2006, LAUSD-the nation's second-largest
district-is seeking to reduce the dropout rate by 5 percent this school
year.
Texas - More than 20,000 free, new books for adolescent
students were distributed to Austin-area schools, libraries and community
organizations in November, thanks to a collaborative effort among the U.S.
Department of Education, Townsend Press and First Book-a nonprofit organization
whose mission is to provide books to children in need. The distribution is part
of a national campaign to provide 520,000 books to improve the literacy skills
of struggling adolescent readers.
Since June 2006, the Department, First Book
and major book publishers have distributed more than 1.65 million children's
books in hurricane-affected communities and across the country. Most of the
titles donated for the Adolescent Readers Initiative are from Townsend Press'
Bluford Series, which focuses on a group of urban high school students and their
families. Troubled Teen Check List
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Building Your Dream Educational Consulting Practice
Want to specialize? Be patient.
I had an overwhelming response last month to the very brief little bio I wrote about how I entered the community of Educational Consulting. Several wrote and asked if I would expand out even more for those who want to start in this business. For me, I always knew I wanted to work with children and families in some capacity. For years I worked in all different kinds of capacities from a grief counselor to working with those in the juvenile justice system.
I also knew, that those jobs were not my specific dream. I was anxious to represent children and families but I was not sure what that meant exactly.
So I kept building my skill level in many different ways.
My solution?
I started my business while I was working as an Internet consultant in Silicon Valley building online communities for companies like Avery Labels, BP Oil, as well as some Canadian and European companies. I learned more about the Internet that I ever thought I would use. My strategy, however, paid off. I was able to take some college classes, researched and wrote articles for a local paper and eventually made a transition into running my business full time.
Now I specialize in working with the at-risk population of youth and their families. I am the only college graduate in a family of five children. Plenty of new educational consultants start off wanting to work in a niche practice area with an established educational consulting firm. After a few years, however, I hear from them and they say they feel they are in a rut.
Educational Consultants who make their mark in speciality areas say they are more focused and happier. It is never too late to refocus once you have learned to be a good educational consultant; you just burrow in and concentrate on becoming an expert in whatever area you have an interest in. I also advise patience. Especially for the younger people. You need to see beyond your own emotions and be very patient with children, families and with your career.
Listen to the people who tell you to learn how to be an educational consultant first. It wasn't without heartache, yet I am very grateful to all the mentors I had who gave me advice. I now get referrals from my past mentors. I am known for representing children and families in court as well as a strong advocate for getting children help and keeping them out of the court system. My edge is self-taught expertise in the areas of which I have the greatest interest. You have to be willing to spend time on your own to learn the areas of which you have the greatest passion. I spend a lot of time reading articles. and attending conferences with other professionals I now have a reputation as being well-versed in the areas for which I specialize. I spend my free time developing my expertise on an on going basis. Get experience at any cost.
When I started my business, I spent two weeks of vacation time working for free with an attorney to learn as much about the juvenile judicial system as possible. Many of the kids I specialize in working with have been arrested, been in juvenile hall, or the family has had CPS / DHS involved. Those two weeks gave me the beginning experience that created an even bigger passion for the work I now do with children and families.
Be a dedicated hard worker and you will succeed.
Horizon Family Solutions believes that the choices you make regarding your adolescent's or
young adult's education and life steps are among the most important
decisions a family makes. |
Juvenile Matters
An Overview
 Juvenile law deals with crimes committed by children. The maximum age
for a juvenile offender varies from state to state, but is most
commonly seventeen. By federal law, a juvenile is a person under the
age of eighteen when he or she violates the law he or she is charged
with. Governmental bodies, including the federal government, states and
cities, prosecute various crimes committed by children, from traffic
violations to felonies. When your child has been
charged with a crime, it is essential that you seek legal counsel from
an experienced juvenile defense attorney at once so that you can preserve his or her rights
and future. Children involved in juvenile court matters have many of the same
rights their parents would have if they were accused of a crime. These
rights include the right to remain silent, the right to cross-examine
witnesses against them and the right to be represented by an attorney.
Additionally, in most states, juvenile court records are not open to
the public, but are sealed, so that no one will be able to access a
juvenile record. A juvenile defense attorney can explain and clarify
your local practices and take some of the mystery out of a frightening
situation. Parental Liability
Many states have adopted laws
that make parents responsible for the actions of their children. Some
states impose criminal liability on parents and other states provide
that a parent may be sued by a person injured by their child. In
addition, many cities and counties have enacted ordinances, or local
laws, that make a parent guilty of an offense, such as "failing to
supervise a minor," when a child breaks the law. Since the laws vary so
much, and since the legal and financial consequences may be severe, you
need an experienced juvenile attorney to advise you regarding your
rights and responsibilities. What To Do When Your Child Is Arrested
There can be
few more frightening or intimidating telephone calls that a parent can
receive than one saying that his or her child has been arrested. The
first reaction of most parents is to panic.
What is a parent to do? The
first, and seemingly hardest, task is to avoid giving in to that panic.
Your child needs your help now, as much as at any other time in his or
her life. Panicking helps neither of you. To help you and your child in
this most difficult time, you should consult an experienced juvenile
defense attorney.
The second task is to keep the disciplinarian in you from clouding your
judgment. Many parents of children who are arrested for relatively
minor offenses, such as vandalism or shoplifting, are inclined to let
the justice system "teach a lesson." Although all children need
discipline, a child who is under arrest faces a system that is going to
be far more frightening and intimidating than any he or she has ever
encountered before. Your child needs your support. How the Juvenile Justice System Works
The juvenile
justice system is based on the adult criminal justice system. The goal
of juvenile court may differ from criminal court, however, the processes
have similarities in application.
Both systems are based on protecting
society and holding law-breakers accountable for his or her actions.
Unlike adults, children may be sent to juvenile court through a variety
of ways: arrest, truancy, "running away", curfew violations or
referrals from teachers, victims or parents. Some youths enter
addiction treatment centers, alternative rehabilitation residential programs or wilderness therapy programs instead of the juvenile court
system. It depends on the court, jurisdiction, if there are safe programs
available to help the child or if the parents are financially able to have their child enter into a private residential treatment program by working with an educational consultant who has experience with the juvenile justice and legal system.
(Many parents finance this need with an educational loan).
Others enter the juvenile justice system and are left to face what is offered, which is often state run programs.
A skilled and knowledgeable defense lawyer and educational consultant can make a skilled team by knowing his or her way around
the juvenile justice system and can navigate through the complex
procedures to help you attain a fair conclusion for your child. To make sure your child has skilled counsel, turn to an experienced and
knowledgeable juvenile defense attorney. When your adolescent's freedom and future are in
jeopardy, experience counts.
DISCLAIMER: The above information is intended
for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal
advice.
Seek competent legal counsel for advice on any legal matter.
Educational Loan Information
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NEW! Healing Parents
Helping Wounded Children Learn To Trust and Love
by Terry M. Levy, Ph.D. and Michael Orlans, M.A.
Child Welfare League of America, 2006
 CWLA Press is proud to announce the release
of Healing Parents: Helping Wounded Children Learn to Trust and Love. A new
book for parents with practical ideas, tools, skills and solutions to be healing
parents with wounded and challenging children.
"A must read for foster parents, parents of adopted children and all kinds of mental health professionals. PARENTS of kids with RAD - Buy
this - it will help you understand!" ~ Dore E. Frances, M.A., (Adoptee) Founder, Horizon Family Solutions, LLC.
Michael Orlans, M.A., D.A.P.A., and Terry Levy, Ph.D., B.C.F.E., are internationally
respected teachers, trainers, and clinicians with an expertise in restoring
attachments in children, teens, adults, and couples. Their work has been featured in
numerous national publications and TV shows.
They are co-founders of ATTACh (The Association for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children) and on the
founding Executive Advisory Board of the A.P.A (American Psychotherapy Association).
To order this book and see other books, DVD's, and music recommended by our readers - Click Here.
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Renovo is.... Renewal

Renovo is
dedicated to helping young men with varied emotional or
behavioral issues and who have struggled with inappropriate
sexual behavior.
Renovo works with families to help restore good kids to
the right paths. Renovo partners with the legal community and court
systems to obtain cooperation in protecting your
confidentiality, and your child's future. Renovo is a long-term solution by some of the industry's
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Contact Renovo today to start the healing process!
(573) 384-5755 |
Trichotillomania in Young Children and Adolescents
(Hair Pulling)
 Trichotillomania
(Hair Pulling)
Trichotillomania (TTM) causes young children and adolescents to pull out
the hair from their scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows, or
other parts of the body, resulting in noticeable bald
patches.
It is estimated to affect one to two percent
of the population, or four to eleven million Americans,
and often begins in childhood and adolescence.
How
Do I Know If I Have Trichotillomania?
Although the symptoms range greatly in severity, location
on the body, and response to treatment, most people
with Trichotillomania (TTM) pull enough hair over a long enough period
of time that they have bald spots on their heads (or
missing eyelashes, eyebrows, pubic, or underarm hair),
which they go to great lengths to cover with hairstyles,
scarves or clothing, or makeup. The persistence of
the compulsion can vary considerably: For some people,
at some times, it is mild and can be quelled with
a bit of extra awareness and concentration. For others,
the urge may be so strong that it makes thinking of
anything else nearly impossible.
What Are Other Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors?
Skin Picking (aka, neurotic excoriation or dermatillomania).
Characterized by repetitive picking of one's skin to the extent it
causes damage. Individuals may pick at skin variations such as moles,
freckles, or blemishes. This problem can lead to infection and
permanent scarring.
Nail
Biting (aka, Onychophagia). Characterized by repetitive biting of one's
nails and/or cuticles to the extent it causes pain or damage. This
problem can lead to infection and permanent scarring.
What
Treatments Are Available?
Research into treatments for trichotillomania has grown
steadily over the past decade. Although no one treatment
has been found to be effective for everyone, a number
of treatment options have shown promise for some people
with TTM.
- Cognitive-Behavior
Therapy
Cognitive-Behavior Therapy is a form of psychotherapy
that seeks to alter behavior by identifying the precise
factors that trigger hair pulling and teaching skills
to interrupt and redirect responses to those triggers.
- The specific name for the cognitive-behavioral treatment
of trichotillomania is Habit Reversal Training or
HRT.
- An HRT therapist will encourage hair pullers
to develop an increased awareness of the times of
day, emotional states, and other factors that promote
hair pulling, as an important precursor to being able
to control the behavior. Then the hair puller will
learn strategies to include relaxation as well as
an alternative response to pulling.
- Pharmacological
Therapy
A number of medications have shown promise in reducing
the severity of TTM symptoms. Most of these fall under
the category of selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors
(SSRIs), which are commonly used to treat anxiety
and depression.
- The effectiveness of these drugs for
hair pulling ranges considerably. A small percentage
of people find these drugs stop their hair pulling
completely, while others experience no effect at all.
Still other people have found the urges to pull their
hair reduced somewhat, for varying periods of time.
If
you would like more information on Trichotillomania
in Young Children or in general, you may want to contact the Trichotillomania
Learning Center at www.trich.org.
Horizon Family Solutions Mission Statement
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What
is a mood disorder?
Mood
disorders or affective disorders are the terms mental
health professionals use to describe behavioral problems
that can include depression and/or mania.
The
DSM-IV (used by psychiatrists and psychologists), defines
mood disorders according to certain criteria. The four
types of mood disorders that are most common are:
Major
Depressive Disorder
Dysthymic Disorder
Bipolar Disorder
Cyclothymic Disorder
For
a diagnosis, a person must exhibit five or more symptoms
related to the disorder. These can be observed by others
or a subjective report by the person suffering from
the disorder.
Bipolar
Disorder: This disorder shows both signs of depression
and manic episodes. A manic episode can vary in intensity
from a euphoric state to irritability to grandiosity
and paranoia. During manic episodes, the sufferer often
needs little or no sleep and seems extremely elated.
A manic episode is often followed by a depressive episode.
A manic episode is defined by the presence of a period
of time during which the person suffers from a persistently
elevated, expansive, or irritable mood that last 1
week or more, plus three or more of the following symptoms:
inflated self-esteem or grandiosity; decreased need
for sleep; more talkative than usual; racing thoughts;
excessive distractibility; increased goal-directed
activity or psychomotor agitation; excessive involvement
in pleasurable activities that may cause negative consequences
(spending money, sexual activity, high-risk behaviors).
The symptoms significantly impact the person's social
(or in the case of a teen, academic) functioning and
are not attributable to drug or alcohol use.
Major
Depressive Disorder: Five or more symptoms for at
least 2 weeks, and one of the symptoms is (1) depressed
mood or (2) loss of interest or pleasure.
The other
symptoms can be: depressed mood most of the day (in
adolescents, this may express itself as irritability);
markedly diminished interest or pleasure in activities
once enjoyed; significant weight loss or gain when not
on a diet, or increase/decrease in appetite; insomnia
or sleeping too much most days; agitated or "slowed
down" motor skills (observable by others); fatigue
or no energy nearly every day; feelings of being worthless;
inability to concentrate or indecisive; recurring thoughts
about dying or suicidal ideation (with or without a
plan); symptoms cause social, or in the case of adolescents,
academic impairment; symptoms are not cause by alcohol
or drug use; symptoms are not due to a significant event
(death, family breakup, traumatic event).
Other
Types of Mood Disorders
Dysthymic
disorder and cyclothymic disorder are separate
diagnoses that describe chronic forms of depression
and mania, respectively.
In these expressions of these
mood disorders, the symptoms may be harder to diagnosis
because the symptoms begin at an early age and tend
to "fester" over time. Parents may mistake
the symptoms as simply a part of the child's "personality,"
delaying diagnosis and appropriate treatment. Disclaimer:
The information on this site is for educational purposes
only and is not intended as a substitute for
medical treatment and professional diagnosis.
When you suspect your adolescent suffers from
a mood disorder, it is essential that you contact
a mental health professional to assess your
child's needs.
Educational Consulting, Assessment and Adolescent Crisis Intervention |
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Become a Newsletter Sponsor
Horizon Family Solutions monthly
email newsletter spans out across the United States, Australia, Canada, England,
Germany, Mexico, the Netherlands, and the UK currently.
Our goal through
sponsorship is to keep the listings inexpensive for businesses so that
businesses and organizations - large or small can afford to list which in turn
gives parents the most comprehensive information and allows them to make better
choices. We are also committed to keeping this newsletter free for families so
that all attorneys, counselors, health care professionals, resource teachers, school, parents and school counselors have access to it.
Your business has the opportunity to show
that you are committed to supporting families by giving them a free resource
through your sponsorship.
Horizon Family Solutions is dedicated to
supporting families in need and encouraging others to reach out. To show you our
commitment to giving back, we have chosen to donate 5% of your sponsorship fee
to helping families.
Horizon Family Solutions is dedicated to supporting
families in need and encouraging others to reach out.
Each year,
Horizon Family Solutions will determine where those monies will be donated,
(i.e.: after school scholarships for kids, camp scholarships for kids, financial
support to local organizations supporting families, etc.).
In 2007 we were able to happily donate $552 to the Ronald McDonald House thanks to our newsletter sponsors.
Your logo will
link families directly to your website. We have worked hard to create an
organized newsletter that is tasteful, not distracting and easy to navigate.
Your business will benefit through continued name recognition with the thousands
of families reading the newsletter. All businesses that are listed are listed
with information that assists the parents so that they can make good choices for
their family.
When you are interested in having your business be a
sponsor for HFS Family Solutions News or when you have any questions, please
contact Dore Frances at (541) 312-4422 for more
information.
Site
Sponsor:
- Affiliation with a business that supports families.
- Your logo will be in the newsletter with links to your website.
- Promote special events by sending an article or Press Release.
- Your business will be profiled in one of our newsletters.
- You will have the opportunity to promote special offers at no extra charge.
- You will also be providing opportunity for children.
- 5% of your contribution will be used to benefit families.
Sincerely,
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Dore E. Frances, M.A.
Horizon Family Solutions, LLC Serving Clients Locally & Nationally www.GuidingTeens.com www.TroubledTeenHelp.com
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