Horizon Family Solutions, LLC

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Educational Consultant Services Helping Families and Professionals ...

February 2008

Educational Consultants Supporting Parents and Professionals of Struggling Teens

Educational consultants have proven to be the link between peace of mind and a program that truly fits your child's unique needs. 

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In This Issue
8 CHALLENGING PERSONALITIES
Around the Country
Building Your Dream Educational Consulting Practice
Juvenile Matters
NEW!...Healing Parents
Renovo is.......Renewal
Trichotillomania in Young Children and Adolescents
What is a mood disorder?
Fitting the Pieces 1107
An essential series of downloadable e-books dedicated to helping you understand your teen as you both cope with specific, important issues

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Greetings!

Take a deep breath...

You're not a failure as a parent. You're not helpless.

Also, you're not alone. When you start to think you're a failure, consider this: There are many kids with neglectful parents who never use drugs. There are also children with seemingly model parents who do use drugs. So the first thing to accept is that drugs, while indeed dangerous, are one more problem for your youngsters to handle. And they'll do it better and faster if you're aware, involved and don't stick your head in the sand.

THE AWARE PARENT WHO USES THEIR INTUITION INSTEAD OF THEIR FEAR HAS THE SAFEST CHILDREN

Part of awareness and a major deterrent to experimentation is to talk to your kids about drugs. Even with a lot of parental involvement, there are no guarantees. So it's important to know the symptoms of drug use and to take action when you see your kid displaying them.

THE WARNING SIGNS

There are no symptoms that are absolutely reliable. However, there are clues (see below). Most of these symptoms tend to be gradual which is why parental awareness is so important. Don't jump to conclusions.  Do investigate any suspicions you have as fully as possible. Trust your intuition. Many of the warning signs for drug use are the same as those for depression or for the ups and downs of being a teenager. There's also the possibility it's an emotional or physical problem. Whatever the problem, we're talking about a child who needs help. Right now.

START WITHIN THE FAMILY - DON'T WAIT TO GET HELP WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM

Nothing beats the power of family support and love. That has to start with frank discussions. Don't make it an attack. Don't talk with your child when they seem under the influence. Wait for a calm moment and then explain that you're worried about a certain behavior (be specific) and give your child every opportunity to explain. That means really listening, not doing all the talking.

Use "I" messages -- sentences that start with "I" -- explaining how your child's drug use affects you and your family. At the same time, it's important to speak frankly about the possibility of drugs.

It's particularly important to talk about your values and why you're dead set against drugs. When your youngster seems evasive or when they have explanations that are not convincing, you need to  consult your doctor or a professional counselor to rule out emotional problems or illness and to ask for advice. 

FURTHER ACTION IS PROBABLY NECESSARY

Even when your child seems belligerent or non-responsive, when you suspect drugs are involved, immediate action is vital.

First, you'll need an evaluation from a health professional skilled in diagnosing adolescents with alcohol and/or drug problems. For the user, there are short-term drug and alcohol treatment centers for those that need detoxification, residential therapeutic treatment centers and wilderness programs. The right program depends entirely on the circumstances and the degree of drug involvement.

Here, you'll need professional help to make an informed choice.

Another point: For a program to succeed, the family needs to be part of it. This can mean family and/or personal counseling. It may also involve participating in a support group where you learn about co-dependency and how not to play into the problems that might prompt further drug use.

When you don't know about drug programs or how to choose the right program for your adolescent, call an educational consultant, your family doctor, local hospital or county mental health society or school counselor. 

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GIVE UP AND
USE YOUR INTUITION INSTEAD OF YOUR FEAR

That child who upsets you so much is the same little boy or girl who, only yesterday, gave you such joy. They're in way over their heads, and they never needed you quite as much as they need you now.

No matter what they say.

The Telltale Signs
  • Chronic eye redness, sore throat or dry cough
  • Chronic lying, especially about whereabouts
  • Chronic fatigue, withdrawal, carelessness about personal grooming
  • Deteriorating relationships with family members
  • Loss of interest in favorite activities, hobbies, sports
  • Major changes in eating or sleeping pattern
  • School problems - slipping grades, absenteeism
  • Stealing
  • Wild mood swings, hostility, or abusive behavior
  • Wholesale changes in friends
Horizon Family Solutions offers unique services that are tailored to the individual needs of our clients and provide attentive support to ensure ongoing development towards long term success.
8 CHALLENGING PERSONALITIES - Part 4 - "Emotional Train Wreck"


0208 Emotional Train WreckEvery parent, every program, every counselor, every friend, every teacher knows or has at least one - a bully, a clown, a Dear Abby, a golden child, a gossip, a phantom, a whiner, and an emotional train wreck.

"Emotional Train Wreck"

Behavior and its impact:

This personality style surfaces in many variations including depression, dramatic behavior, insecurity, neediness or serious social awkwardness.  They drain others emotionally and don't get better when others offer encouragement. Patience and time have no real positive impact on them. Your heart goes out to them, yet, you also feel manipulated and taken advantage of.

Train Wrecks experience little love in life because they have unconsciously tried to extort it from others - that is why it is unsatisfying when they succeed. 

Train Wrecks are not often admired because they force us to see them through a prison of need.  Train Wrecks do experience a positive sense of their own importance when people reach out to them, however, that dissipates quickly after the crisis is over.

How the behavior is typically reinforced:

We do Train Wrecks no favor when we fuel their victim mentality - we typically do that by giving them lots of attention and time, on their own terms. 

We do the same thing when we push them away on their terms (meaning they are manipulating us to reject them).

How to help:

Surprise the Train Wreck by caring for them when they are not extorting you for it.  Set healthy personal boundaries. 

Help them see how they push and pull the people around them to get warmth, and how that usually backfires.

Chronic cases will need a team approach to surround them with love and strength.

Treat them as capable, responsible people.


Articles of Interest
Around the Country
Nation's Report Card
Books
 

Alabama's "Access" program introduces distance learning to the state.

Alabama NBC affiliate WAFF-TV (1/10) reports that Alabama has created a distance learning program called Access which "allows students from all over the state to take specialized courses that may not be offered at their schools."


It is the first program of its kind in Alabama.


"It's pretty easy, it's kind of like watching power point," said Katelynn Walsh, a senior at Madison County High School.


"With possible education budget cuts...programs like Access are important to students, especially in rural areas," according to Alabama Governor Bob Riley (R). And some students, like Eric Neal of Madison County High School, even prefer the distance classes.

"It helps you focus more, without the distraction of a lot of students in the classroom, it just lets you focus on your studies," he said.

California -In an effort to prevent more students from dropping out of high school, the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) has launched a new campaign targeting at-risk teenagers that will draw on the popularity of Internet Web sites such as YouTube and MySpace as well as on radio spots to feature testimonials from former dropouts. In addition, the district has created a Web site, http://www.myfuturemydecision.com, to highlight alternative ways of earning a diploma and to describe its numerous continuation schools and community college programs.

With more than 25 percent of Los Angeles students dropping out in 2006, LAUSD-the nation's second-largest district-is seeking to reduce the dropout rate by 5 percent this school year.

Texas - More than 20,000 free, new books for adolescent students were distributed to Austin-area schools, libraries and community organizations in November, thanks to a collaborative effort among the U.S. Department of Education, Townsend Press and First Book-a nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide books to children in need. The distribution is part of a national campaign to provide 520,000 books to improve the literacy skills of struggling adolescent readers.

Since June 2006, the Department, First Book and major book publishers have distributed more than 1.65 million children's books in hurricane-affected communities and across the country. Most of the titles donated for the Adolescent Readers Initiative are from Townsend Press' Bluford Series, which focuses on a group of urban high school students and their families.

Troubled Teen Check List

Building Your Dream Educational Consulting Practice
Want to specialize?  Be patient.

Dream Catcher 0208
I had an overwhelming response last month to the very brief little bio I wrote about how I entered the community of Educational Consulting. Several wrote and asked if I would expand out even more for those who want to start in this business. For me, I always knew I wanted to work with children and families in some capacity.  For years I worked in all different kinds of capacities from a grief counselor to working with those in the juvenile justice system. 

I also knew, that those jobs were not my specific dream. I was anxious to represent children and families but I was not sure what that meant exactly.

So I kept building my skill level in many different ways. 

My solution? 

I started my business while I was working as an Internet consultant in Silicon Valley building online communities for companies like Avery Labels, BP Oil, as well as some Canadian and European companies. I learned more about the Internet that I ever thought I would use. My strategy, however, paid off.  I was able to take some college classes, researched and wrote articles for a local paper and eventually made a transition into running my business full time.

Now I specialize in working with the at-risk population of youth and their families. I am the only college graduate in a family of five children. Plenty of new educational consultants start off wanting to work in a niche practice area with an established educational consulting firm. After a few years, however, I hear from them and they say they feel they are in a rut.

Educational Consultants who make their mark in speciality areas say they are more focused and happier.  It is never too late to refocus once you have learned to be a good educational consultant; you just burrow in and concentrate on becoming an expert in whatever area you have an interest in. I also advise patience. Especially for the younger people.  You need to see beyond your own emotions and be very patient with children, families and with your career.

Listen to the people who tell you to learn how to be an educational consultant first. It wasn't without heartache, yet I am very grateful to all the mentors I had who gave me advice. I now get referrals from my past mentors. I am known for representing children and families in court as well as a strong advocate for getting children help and keeping them out of the court system. My edge is self-taught expertise in the areas of which I have the greatest interest. You have to be willing to spend time on your own to learn the areas of which you have the greatest passion. I spend a lot of time reading articles. and attending conferences with other professionals  I now have a reputation as being well-versed in the areas for which I specialize. I spend my free time developing my expertise on an on going basis. Get experience at any cost.

When I started my business, I spent two weeks of vacation time working for free with an attorney to learn as much about the juvenile judicial system as possible.  Many of the kids I specialize in working with have been arrested, been in juvenile hall, or the family has had CPS / DHS involved. Those two weeks gave me the beginning experience that created an even bigger passion for the work I now do with children and families.

Be a dedicated hard worker and you will succeed.


Horizon Family Solutions believes that the choices you make regarding your adolescent's or young adult's education and life steps are among the most important decisions a family makes.

Juvenile Matters

An Overview

Juvenile 2007
 Juvenile law deals with crimes committed by children. The maximum age for a juvenile offender varies from state to state, but is most commonly seventeen. By federal law, a juvenile is a person under the age of eighteen when he or she violates the law he or she is charged with.

Governmental bodies, including the federal government, states and cities, prosecute various crimes committed by children, from traffic violations to felonies.  When your child has been charged with a crime, it is essential that you seek legal counsel from an experienced juvenile defense attorney at once so that you can preserve his or her rights and future.

Children involved in juvenile court matters have many of the same rights their parents would have if they were accused of a crime.

These rights include the right to remain silent, the right to cross-examine witnesses against them and the right to be represented by an attorney. Additionally, in most states, juvenile court records are not open to the public, but are sealed, so that no one will be able to access a juvenile record. A juvenile defense attorney can explain and clarify your local practices and take some of the mystery out of a frightening situation.

Parental Liability

Many states have adopted laws that make parents responsible for the actions of their children. Some states impose criminal liability on parents and other states provide that a parent may be sued by a person injured by their child. In addition, many cities and counties have enacted ordinances, or local laws, that make a parent guilty of an offense, such as "failing to supervise a minor," when a child breaks the law. Since the laws vary so much, and since the legal and financial consequences may be severe, you need an experienced juvenile attorney to advise you regarding your rights and responsibilities.

What To Do When Your Child Is Arrested

There can be few more frightening or intimidating telephone calls that a parent can receive than one saying that his or her child has been arrested. The first reaction of most parents is to panic.

What is a parent to do? The first, and seemingly hardest, task is to avoid giving in to that panic. Your child needs your help now, as much as at any other time in his or her life. Panicking helps neither of you. To help you and your child in this most difficult time, you should consult an experienced juvenile defense attorney.

The second task is to keep the disciplinarian in you from clouding your judgment. Many parents of children who are arrested for relatively minor offenses, such as vandalism or shoplifting, are inclined to let the justice system "teach a lesson." Although all children need discipline, a child who is under arrest faces a system that is going to be far more frightening and intimidating than any he or she has ever encountered before. Your child needs your support.

How the Juvenile Justice System Works

The juvenile justice system is based on the adult criminal justice system. The goal of juvenile court may differ from criminal court, however, the processes have similarities in application.

Both systems are based on protecting society and holding law-breakers accountable for his or her actions.

Unlike adults, children may be sent to juvenile court through a variety of ways: arrest, truancy, "running away", curfew violations or referrals from teachers, victims or parents. Some youths enter addiction treatment centers, alternative rehabilitation residential programs or wilderness therapy programs instead of the juvenile court system.  It depends on the court, jurisdiction, if there are safe programs available to help the child or if the parents are financially able to have their child enter into a private residential treatment program by working with an educational consultant who has experience with the juvenile justice and legal system. 

(Many parents finance this need with an educational loan).

Others enter the juvenile justice system and are left to face what is offered, which is often state run programs.

A skilled and knowledgeable defense lawyer and educational consultant can make a skilled team by knowing his or her way around the juvenile justice system and can navigate through the complex procedures to help you attain a fair conclusion for your child. To make sure your child has skilled counsel, turn to an experienced and knowledgeable juvenile defense attorney.

When your adolescent's freedom and future are in jeopardy, experience counts.

DISCLAIMER: The above information is intended for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice.

Seek competent legal counsel for advice on any legal matter.

Issues Involving the Legal System - How Horizon Family Solutions May Assist

Educational Loan Information

NEW!   Healing Parents

Helping Wounded Children Learn To Trust and Love
by Terry M. Levy, Ph.D. and Michael Orlans, M.A.
Child Welfare League of America, 2006


0208 Healing Parents Book
CWLA Press is proud to announce the release of Healing Parents: Helping Wounded Children Learn to Trust and Love. A new book for parents with practical ideas, tools, skills and solutions to be healing parents with wounded and challenging children.

"A must read for foster parents, parents of adopted children and all kinds of  mental health professionals. PARENTS of kids with RAD - Buy this - it will help you understand!" ~ Dore E. Frances, M.A., (Adoptee) Founder, Horizon Family Solutions, LLC.

Michael Orlans, M.A., D.A.P.A., and Terry Levy, Ph.D., B.C.F.E., are internationally respected teachers, trainers, and clinicians with an expertise in restoring attachments in children, teens, adults, and couples. Their work has been featured in numerous national publications and TV shows.

They are co-founders of ATTACh (The Association for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children) and on the founding Executive Advisory Board of the A.P.A (American Psychotherapy Association).
 
To order this book and see other books, DVD's, and music recommended by our readers - Click Here.
 Renovo is....
Renewal
Renovo Boys Academy 0208


Renovo is dedicated to helping young men with varied emotional or behavioral issues and who have struggled with inappropriate sexual behavior.

Renovo works with families to help restore good kids to the right paths. Renovo partners with the legal community and court systems to obtain cooperation in protecting your confidentiality, and your child's future. Renovo is a long-term solution by some of the industry's most experienced Professionals.


Contact Renovo today to start the healing process!


(573) 384-5755
Trichotillomania in Young Children and Adolescents
(Hair Pulling)


Hair Pulling
Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Trichotillomania (TTM) causes young children and adolescents to pull out the hair from their scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows, or other parts of the body, resulting in noticeable bald patches.

It is estimated to affect one to two percent of the population, or four to eleven million Americans, and often begins in childhood and adolescence.

How Do I Know If I Have Trichotillomania?
Although the symptoms range greatly in severity, location on the body, and response to treatment, most people with Trichotillomania (TTM) pull enough hair over a long enough period of time that they have bald spots on their heads (or missing eyelashes, eyebrows, pubic, or underarm hair), which they go to great lengths to cover with hairstyles, scarves or clothing, or makeup. The persistence of the compulsion can vary considerably: For some people, at some times, it is mild and can be quelled with a bit of extra awareness and concentration.

For others, the urge may be so strong that it makes thinking of anything else nearly impossible.

What Are Other Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors?
Skin Picking (aka, neurotic excoriation or dermatillomania).

Characterized by repetitive picking of one's skin to the extent it causes damage. Individuals may pick at skin variations such as moles, freckles, or blemishes. This problem can lead to infection and permanent scarring. 

Nail Biting (aka, Onychophagia). Characterized by repetitive biting of one's nails and/or cuticles to the extent it causes pain or damage. This problem can lead to infection and permanent scarring.

What Treatments Are Available?
Research into treatments for trichotillomania has grown steadily over the past decade. Although no one treatment has been found to be effective for everyone, a number of treatment options have shown promise for some people with TTM.

  • Cognitive-Behavior Therapy
    Cognitive-Behavior Therapy is a form of psychotherapy that seeks to alter behavior by identifying the precise factors that trigger hair pulling and teaching skills to interrupt and redirect responses to those triggers.
  • The specific name for the cognitive-behavioral treatment of trichotillomania is Habit Reversal Training or HRT.
  • An HRT therapist will encourage hair pullers to develop an increased awareness of the times of day, emotional states, and other factors that promote hair pulling, as an important precursor to being able to control the behavior. Then the hair puller will learn strategies to include relaxation as well as an alternative response to pulling.
  • Pharmacological Therapy
    A number of medications have shown promise in reducing the severity of TTM symptoms. Most of these fall under the category of selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are commonly used to treat anxiety and depression.
  • The effectiveness of these drugs for hair pulling ranges considerably. A small percentage of people find these drugs stop their hair pulling completely, while others experience no effect at all. Still other people have found the urges to pull their hair reduced somewhat, for varying periods of time.

If you would like more information on Trichotillomania in Young Children or in general, you may want to contact the Trichotillomania Learning Center at www.trich.org.


Horizon Family Solutions Mission Statement

What is a mood disorder?

Mood disorders or affective disorders are the terms mental health professionals use to describe behavioral problems that can include depression and/or mania.

0208 Teen Mood DisorderThe DSM-IV (used by psychiatrists and psychologists), defines mood disorders according to certain criteria. The four types of mood disorders that are most common are:

Major Depressive Disorder
Dysthymic Disorder
Bipolar Disorder
Cyclothymic Disorder

For a diagnosis, a person must exhibit five or more symptoms related to the disorder. These can be observed by others or a subjective report by the person suffering from the disorder.

Bipolar Disorder: This disorder shows both signs of depression and manic episodes. A manic episode can vary in intensity from a euphoric state to irritability to grandiosity and paranoia. During manic episodes, the sufferer often needs little or no sleep and seems extremely elated.

A manic episode is often followed by a depressive episode.

A manic episode is defined by the presence of a period of time during which the person suffers from a persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood that last 1 week or more, plus three or more of the following symptoms: inflated self-esteem or grandiosity; decreased need for sleep; more talkative than usual; racing thoughts; excessive distractibility; increased goal-directed activity or psychomotor agitation; excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that may cause negative consequences (spending money, sexual activity, high-risk behaviors). The symptoms significantly impact the person's social (or in the case of a teen, academic) functioning and are not attributable to drug or alcohol use.

Major Depressive Disorder: Five or more symptoms for at least 2 weeks, and one of the symptoms is (1) depressed mood or (2) loss of interest or pleasure.

The other symptoms can be: depressed mood most of the day (in adolescents, this may express itself as irritability); markedly diminished interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed; significant weight loss or gain when not on a diet, or increase/decrease in appetite; insomnia or sleeping too much most days; agitated or "slowed down" motor skills (observable by others); fatigue or no energy nearly every day; feelings of being worthless; inability to concentrate or indecisive; recurring thoughts about dying or suicidal ideation (with or without a plan); symptoms cause social, or in the case of adolescents, academic impairment; symptoms are not cause by alcohol or drug use; symptoms are not due to a significant event (death, family breakup, traumatic event).

Other Types of Mood Disorders

Dysthymic disorder and cyclothymic disorder are separate diagnoses that describe chronic forms of depression and mania, respectively.

In these expressions of these mood disorders, the symptoms may be harder to diagnosis because the symptoms begin at an early age and tend to "fester" over time. Parents may mistake the symptoms as simply a part of the child's "personality," delaying diagnosis and appropriate treatment.

Disclaimer: The information on this site is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for medical treatment and professional diagnosis.

When you suspect your adolescent suffers from a mood disorder, it is essential that you contact a mental health professional to assess your child's needs.


Educational Consulting, Assessment and Adolescent Crisis Intervention
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