$2 Heroin Stalks Teenagers ~ It is called "cheese heroin"
"Say cheese" used to be universal code for "smile for the camera" ~ now it is more like the finger of death for Dallas-area teenagers.
One has to assume a diabolical mind is at work when imagining the men
or women who actually take the time to develop new ways to package
drugs.
Do they stay up late at night figuring out how best to entice a
kid to get hooked?
Is it just a matter of marketing and profit? Whoever
they are, and whatever depravity they possess, they have introduced yet
another product that parents need to be aware of in their ongoing
battle against teen age drug abuse.
It is called cheese heroin. At least 18 Dallas, Texas teenagers have died from
using cheese, a mixture of black tar heroin and powderized Tylenol PM
tablets.
Most of the victims are male.
One girl who died was found with the phase "Cheese Please"
scrawled on her body with a marker.
What makes it all the more despicable is that it sells for as little
as $2 per dose, making it affordable to the very, very young.
The spread of cheese in schools has parents and law
enforcement officials worried. The deadly mix of two barbiturates has gained popularity because a single hit is cheap ~ $2, and the name makes it seem harmless.
Children as young as 11 have been caught
with the concoction. Put yourself in a kid's mind ~ It's got a funny name, and it is only a couple of bucks.
It is of little reassurance that, for now, the new drug seems
confined to Dallas, Texas. No doubt crack was confined to one segment of the
country before it grew to be a plague. Here is what you need to be
aware of.
- What is Cheese?
Cheese is black-tar heroin and crushed Tylenol PM tablets. - Drug abuse
experts, doctors, and police say it's highly addictive and very, very
dangerous.
- Nearly 20 deaths have been linked to the drug in the last
year.
- What does it look like?
It's a tan-colored powder that looks like parmesan cheese, hence the
nickname.
- Dealers often sell it in small ziplock baggies or a folded
piece of notebook paper.
- How is it taken?
Kids usually snort the powder with a tube, straw, coffee stirrer or ballpoint pen casing. - How do they afford it?
One hit or "bump" can cost as little as $2. - Who's taking it?
Both girls and boys, from all income levels. The drug has been found in more
than a dozen Dallas, Texas schools.
- What are the symptoms?
After inhaling cheese, users grow lethargic and drowsy, sometimes
euphoric as the heroin enters their systems. They often seem
disoriented or sleepy, and may complain of excessive thirst or hunger.
- Parents need to watch for a child's sudden change in grades and friends.
Marijuana is still the drug of choice among high school students, however, a third of kids say "there 's nothing wrong" with using pills without a prescription from time to time.
For many teens, illicit substance use and abuse become part of the landscape of their teenage years. |
Bend Learning Center - We
teach learning techniques and strategies that really work.
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The Jason William Hunt Foundation is an Ohio Not-for-Profit Corporation Supporting At Risk Youth Through Outdoor Experiential Education
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Resources Now! ~
We are committed to putting a variety of information - related to
residential placements, educational trends, therapeutic approaches,
curricular materials, teen culture and more - at your fingertips.
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United States Intervention Services ~ As Intervention Specialists, our commitment to you is to create a safe,
caring, smooth transition for your child, to your Program of choice.
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USAGuides ~ We are available to help 24 hours a day.
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Thank you Leapin' Lizards Toys and SageWalk Wilderness
On behalf of Horizon Family Solutions, LLC, member and volunteer for CASA in Deschutes County, we would like to thank Leapin' Lizards Toy Company and SageWalk Wilderness for the donation of toys for children in foster care through the CASA program. Leapin' Lizards Toy Company has been providing Central Oregon with the
ideal place to find quality, developmentally appropriate toys for
children of all ages.
Once again, thank you for your generous donation.
Sincerely,
Dore Frances, M.A.
Founder, Horizon Family Solutions, LLC
Other Resources and Links
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Quick Links...
The Association for Addiction Professionals ~ The largest membership organization serving addiction counselors, educators and other addiction-focused health care professionals, who specialize in addiction prevention, treatment and education.
NAPCSE - The National Association of Parents with Children in Special Education
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Greetings!
When
it is determined that a next step is most appropriate for your
adolescent, choosing among them is an overwhelming task. There are
hundreds of programs in the United States.
We
travel continuously and extensively to stay current on student
population mix, different program offerings, staff changes, therapy
options and current tuition at hundreds of programs and schools. This gives us the ability to assist with a student assessment in what may be the best next step. We are dedicated to helping your adolescent be as well-prepared as possible for their next step.
Part of our process includes working with student's to make sure that their next step is a good fit for them and their needed success.
When
your adolescent is in a Wilderness Program (also known as Outdoor or
Therapeutic Adventure Program), it is widely known that these programs
are often the initial intervention in a plan to assist a family with an
adolescent involved in negative and self defeating behaviors. The
programs run about six to eight weeks long and begin the process for
the student in gaining insight into their behavioral patterns. Many students will need to continue their treatment after wilderness. There
are many options ranging from aftercare programs, clinical boarding
schools, emotional growth programs, residential treatment centers, or
therapeutic treatment centers.
Programs and schools which may be considered, or even an at-home transitional program are not the same in terms of degree of clinical focus, duration, philosophy and structure.
Consistency in treatment, goals, and family work is essential as a best next step. There are also four categories of which may need to be addressed in a next placement. They are behavioral, educational, medical and psychological.
Horizon
Family Solutions works with many families who choose not to use the
full services of an Educational Consultant, and instead use the less
expensive option of a Student Assessment Consultant. This extensive
assessment provides recommendations for they type of continued
treatment and support that will enhance the chances of a successful
outcome. Bringing
in someone from "the outside" can often result in greater clarity and
increased options to deal with a question or a challenge regarding your
adolescent's next steps. This is a common concern. In this situation,
when it's just not certain what the best next step is, we suggest the
following:
Contact Us.
Talk with us about what is going on with your adolescent. All
communication is kept confidential and private. There is no charge for
this. Our intention is to listen and ask some questions. We receive such requests as this all the time, from all over the United States. Parents
call us and we also receive referrals from programs and schools who are
familiar with our professional integrity in assisting families during
this next step process.
If it turns out a professional student advisory assessment doesn't make sense, we will tell you that.
When it turns out that there is a good reason to consider using an outside student assessment consultant, we will tell you why.
Few programs offer an assessment and evaluation service. They often
call us for services or refer parents to us who have this need. We
offer behavioral assessments which are based on an interview with the
counselors and field staff; we may conduct a screening based on
standardized interview procedures and the use of psychological
questionnaires; when needed we can offer an intensive evaluation which
would normally include a behavioral and personality assessment as well.
When what you need is within our scope of services, we
will either offer a specific approach or a general consultation. In
either case, we will provide our fees and references. Some of the
services we have previously recommended to clients using the Student
Assessment service are: Addiction or Chemical Dependency CounselingAfter Care In-Home ProgramsClinical Boarding School Co-Dependency Counseling Services Day TreatmentEmotional Growth Programs Group Services for Social Development and EnrichmentIndependent Living for YouthParent Coaching Residential TreatmentSupport GroupsSubstance Abuse CounselingTransitional Living Housing
There are four areas of importance when investigating and
selecting a next step program or school.
The first area of concern involves the cost and duration of the
program, educational opportunities, experience and licensure of the people
directing and providing services, the range of services provided, the level of
supervision and guidance that students receive, and the therapeutic group
activities in the program. Follow-up and monitoring the adolescent's progress
when they graduate may also be very important to insuring success and
preventing relapse.
Secondly, the duration, frequency, intensity, and type of
activities students experience must be matched with the specific needs of a
potential student. Students with special needs (potential medical problems or psychological
) need to be enrolled in programs that have a clinical focus and qualified
mental health professionals working with your adolescent who are competent to diagnose,
evaluate and monitor your adolescent's progress. The structure and purpose of
program activities must be clearly defined.
Staff training is a very crucial part of
a safe and effective program or school.
Third, the unique qualities of the program are those factors that
make parents feel comfortable and willing to entrust their adolescent's
emotional and physical well-being with others. This would represent a match
between the parent's values and expectations for their adolescent with the attitude,
resources, and philosophy of the program.
Parents need to feel confident
and in touch with their adolescent's progress while they are in the program.
The program or school needs to be caring, compassionate and not impersonal.
Fourth, and finally, a credible program or school will have a
list of parents who have offered to speak with parents considering enrollment. Many
parents will tell you that their child is not perfect, is still a teenager, and
still requires a high degree of parental supervision and guidance.
Children still make mistakes and get into trouble.
This
is an important step and decisions made depend in large part on the goals you
may have for your adolescent's future and the likely outcome of a program or
school. In most cases, the program or school you choose will automatically
define the most likely goal or outcome for your child.
The scope of our services is tailored to each individual family and
adolescent. We do not accept any type of compensation from any program
or school and are not associated with any corporation or groups of
programs and schools. We are independent. Your child's best interest and long term outcome is our priority.
Dore E. Frances,
MA
Horizon Family
Solutions, LLC
Bend, Oregon (541) 312-4422
Toll Free
866-833-6911
www.GuidingTeens.com
www.TroubledTeenHelp.com
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Whether you have been struggling with your teen for a while, or you are just starting to see the first signs of teenage behavior, you can get the help you need here.
After two years of struggling with her own teenager, Christina Botto set out to understand the mind of the teen in order to create a better relationship with her own teenage daughter. Not only did she get answers, she got results.
Christina's proven strategies, comprised of more than 14 years of working with parents and their teenagers, are outlined in Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-By-Step-Guide For Parents That Works. *** Please note that this is not intended as therapy for you or your teen, nor does it aim to be a substitute. |
Adolescent Crisis Intervention Services
There
is growing concern across the United States that adolescents are
increasingly vulnerable to the effects of drugs of abuse and substance
abuse disorders.
 How does addiction affect the adolescent body? Warning
signs of adolescent drug use include a drop in school performance,
apathy, irritability, mood change (including depression), poor
self-care, weight loss, over-sensitivity to questions about drinking or
drugs, and sudden changes in friends. How do you know when an intervention is needed? One seemingly obvious answer to that question is, "You'll know." In reality, it may not be that obvious. What you do
know before considering an intervention is that a whole host of other
well-intended efforts to help your adolescent have just not worked.
Most likely, things may be getting worse. You may even have reached the
point where there is some well-founded fear for your adolescent's
safety. What does it mean to be an addicted youth? Addicted
children are trapped in their behaviors and cannot simply quit on their
own. They have an illness that requires treatment. It
is essential to understand when dealing with adolescents suffering from
addiction that we are dealing with individuals whose brains have been
altered by alcohol, drug or behavioral abuse. They need addiction
treatment. The simple fact is that very few alcohol and chemically dependent adolescents are aware that they need help. Life moves on for the chemically dependent adolescent while the lives of their family / parents seem to fall apart. Family
/ parents and even friends watch them separate themselves from their
life. They feel powerless to stop them and that powerlessness gives
rise to guilt and a host of other challenges. It's usually true that
one person alone cannot stop the addiction for an adolescent. This is the power of the intervention. The primary goal of the
intervention is to obtain help for your adolescent.
The intervention
itself is for the family/parents and friends of the adolescent. The
intervention is action. The goal is for those who participate in the
intervention to know they have done the right thing, not only for this
adolescent but also for the family. What happens at an intervention? An
intervention is neither a compromise, discussion nor a negotiation, so
it is powerful and quick. It seldom takes longer than 30 minutes. There
are three steps that lead up the actual intervention. These three steps
may occur over several days, or, when necessary, in one day. Step 1 Dore
Frances meets with those who are likely to participate in the
intervention and talks to them about addiction and other behaviors that
may be occurring. She talks about the intervention process and
recommended treatment.
Many parent's idea of addiction
and adolescent misbehaviors is rooted in a general misunderstanding of
the disease and of the children growing up in the 21st Century. Dore
ensures that everyone present is educated. Many feel that for an
intervention to work the adolescent must want to change. This is simply
not true. There is a part of every chemically dependent adolescent who
knows that they need help. The intervention speaks to that part. There are also some that view the intervention as an attack on the adolescent. It is just the opposite. Preparation: An intervention may be very dramatic, stressful and tense. Dore has every participant write a letter that is brought to the second session. These letters are read at the intervention. Step 2 The second step is the "practice session." At
this session Dore reviews the specific details of the intervention -
place, time, what to expect, transportation and/or youth transport
services needed, etc. This
is where you confirm your decision about a treatment program and make
arrangements for admissions and transportation. It is vital that the
treatment program be in place and ready to accept your child before the
intervention takes place. For
the process to be successful there must not be any delay in time
between the intervention and having the adolescent leave to enter their
treatment program. Selecting the best treatment program or school is important. Dore regularly evaluates, reviews, visits and recommends programs all across the United States. At
this session Dore answers all your questions related to choosing the
best treatment program based on the adolescents specific needs.
Step 3 Intervention. The intervention is very powerful and seldom takes longer than 30 minutes. At
the end of the intervention Dore and the youth transport service or the
youth transport service on their own immediately escorts the chemically
dependent adolescent to their treatment facility. Horizon Family Solutions accepts no fees from programs or schools in order to
maintain our independence in the evaluation, intervention and placement process. |
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Stolen Identities, Stolen Innocence: How to Prevent Child Identity Theft
In July 2007, Barbara Whitaker of The New York Times told the story of Gabriel
Jimenez. Jimenez lost his identity to thieves when he was 11 years old. Now 25,
he's still cleaning up the mess. His credit score may never recover.
What
makes a child a preferred target?
For 2005, Federal Trade Commission records show 11,601 reports of identity
theft filed on behalf of victims under the age of 18. Minors make ideal targets
for identity thieves-the younger the victim, the more time there they have to
exploit the child's identity.
A crime like
this can go undetected for years. Why? In general, the child does not take on
credit obligations until she's 18 or older. It's only then that the child or
her parents check her credit file.
Rites
of passage denied
The damages a minor bears can run wide and deep. For example, he could be
denied a credit card or a car loan. Worse, he may be forced to delay his
education if he's not approved for his student loans. He may even miss out on
job opportunities if potential employers require a credit check. Here's the
worst scenario: a criminal can present the victim's identity when arrested.
Now, the child now has a criminal record even if the criminal walks away.
If
you're a parent, you can ~
Check your child's credit report.
The
credit reporting agencies do not knowingly maintain credit files on children. A
check of your child's credit should turn up nothing until she turns 18 unless
she is a victim of identity theft. To obtain a
credit report, you must contact the credit bureau through the mail by sending
them your child's:
- complete name
- address
- date of birth
- a copy of your child's birth certificate
- a copy of your child's social security card
The parent
also needs to send a copy of his or her own driver's license or other
government-issued proof of identity. Such proof must include a current
residential address. Finally, parents must provide a current utility bill that
also includes their home address. Mail these
items to the credit reporting bureaus at the addresses below. Note, we
recommend using certified mail with receipt.
Equifax, P.O. Box 740256, Atlanta,
Georgia 30374
Experian, P.O. Box 9532, Allen,
Texas 75013
TransUnion, P.O. Box 6790, Fullerton,
CA 92834
Check for
an earnings statement from the Social Security Administration.
Unless your child is a
victim of identity theft, there should be no earnings associated with his
social security number. You can get the earnings statement by requesting it
online at www.ssa.gov. You can also call the Social
Security Administration at (800) 772-1213 or visit your local office.
Safeguard
social security numbers.
Shred anything with a social security number on it. Keep
all social security cards safe at home.
Warn your
children not to give out personal information unless it's vitally important.
Explain to them that
they should not provide such information. All the more so when they're online.
Be leery
of credit offers to your children.
If you see anything suspicious, notify the
credit bureaus. Then, check your child's credit report to find out if someone
is using her credit.
Get a
police report.
If someone hijacks your child's identity, file a police report.
Be sure to keep several copies on file. You'll need the report to prove your
child is a victim.
You can learn
more by contacting the FTC at www.ftc.gov or (877) IDTHEFT.
We're
all in this together
We all pay a price when criminals steal a child's identity. Thankfully, parents
are growing more vigilant. And, they're getting better at spotting fraudulent
activities in a timely manner. This makes it possible to protect our
youngsters' innocence.
Tom Fragala, an ID theft victim, is the founder
and CEO of Truston, an identity theft protection company. Try Truston's free ID
theft prevention service at www.mytruston.com.
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Family Secrets
By Jennifer C.
Jones
It was hidden in the rafters, the
bedrooms, and throughout the house. Chad's (not his real name) grandparents
were finding pornography everywhere. Unusual behavior for a 16-year-old boy?
Perhaps. But the couple had a bad
feeling about the boy's behavior. Those feelings were confirmed when they began
to find stolen underwear he'd hidden away. When
they confronted him, Chad admitted he had a problem. He told the couple he had
sexually groped his younger brother on at least two occasions. His grandparents
sought help from a therapist. But after 18 months of outpatient therapy they
were still worried about Chad's progress and behaviors.
The
family turned to Heather Green for help. Green is the Clinical Director at
Oxbow Academy, a therapeutic boarding school specifically for teen boys with
sexual misconduct issues.
"Chad's
story is not that unique," she explains. "We're seeing a lot of teens who are
struggling with things like pornography, child molestation and fetishism."
According
to Heather, what is unusual is what families and communities are doing about
it. "The trend is that we as a society
are becoming more aware of it," she says.
"Society is no longer minimizing it."
She says
the irony is that as families, communities and sometimes courts take a "get
tough" stance on teens with troubling sexual dependencies, children are being
subjected to increasingly more sexual images at younger ages.
"Our kids are becoming very
de-sensitized to sexuality and the boundaries that need to be associated with
it," Green observes.
Located
in Wales, Utah, the heart of the western United States, Oxbow is one of only a
handful of facilities with treatment programs geared exclusively to teenaged
boys. Eleven students are currently
enrolled. Some have been ordered there by various community agencies. Most are
privately enrolled by concerned families looking for help and hope for their
sons.
"We take
a holistic approach when it comes to therapy," Heather explains. "We're not
just treating the sexual misconduct issues," she says. "These boys still have
emotional, physical and academic needs."
All of which are addressed at Oxbow.
While therapy is the primary concern, students also complete academic course
work with one on one help from certified teachers.Therapy is also individually
tailored. "A student that has
pornography issues is going to receive different treatment than a student with
hands-on problems."
She
explains, "Oxbow offers a form of therapy that is not afraid to deal directly
with the issue in an environment that is safe and 24/7 treatment oriented."
Meanwhile,
Chad is making progress. Since his enrollment at Oxbow, he's admitted to
molesting his brother several times over a period of years. Though his
grandparents were heartbroken to hear that news, they are encouraged over the
fact Chad has finally disclosed his ugly secret. He has no contact with his
brother but Green says he is very remorseful and committed to changing his
behavior. She says
parents should listen to their "gut" if they have concerns about a child.
"Believe any children in the house that might come forward and say, 'Johnny did
this or that to me,'" she urges. "We see so many times when parents just don't
want to believe it's true."
She cautions
parents not to ignore the problem. "Get the child in and have them evaluated.
Go so someone that specializes in treating kids with sexual misconduct issues."
She says
without intervention the problems will only escalate. "There may still be legal
consequences to your child's actions, but the risk is greater if you don't get
help."
Green
urges parents not to despair. "There are lots of good studies that show kids
with this type of therapy at this age are probably the least likely to
re-offend. I get Christmas cards all the
time from students who say, 'I'm doing great. Life is good.' It's just amazing
the hope and change you see from when they first enter the program to the time
they leave." Oxbow Academy is located in Sanpete County, Utah in the rustic town of
Wales. Please contact us for further details about the facility,
services or other information you require.
Heather
Green, L.C.S.W.
Oxbow Academy
95 N.
State HC 13 Box 4245
Wales, Utah
Office
(435) 436 -9460 Cell (801) 367-8128
Email: heatherg@oxbowacademy.net
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Conflict Between Parents and Teens
Power struggles often arise in families once children hit the teen
years. Adolescence is a time when kids are trying to acquire personal
power and make decisions for themselves. They are also often experiencing
the emotional confusion that accompanies physical and sexual maturation.
Conflict between parents and teens can often become so intense that
intervention is necessary. Here are some tips for communicating with your teenager in a positive
way:
- Keep your messages to your teen clear and concise focus on one issue at a
time don't argue with what your teen says.
- Focus on your point of view. Do not talk down to or be condescending to your teenager.
- Don't lecture to your teenager.
- Set realistic expectations.
When the situation between you and your teen is getting out of control,
including violence or the threat of violence, you need to get help.
Conflicts are a natural part of youth. Let me walk you through a few of the things I remind myself of when working with a family:
- Follow the "101% Principle." Find the 1 percent where you can honestly agree with the other person and give it 100 percent of your emotional energy at the beginning of your discussion.
- Always love people more than opinions. Anyone who loves their opinions more than the people around them will invariably defend their opinions and lose their relationships.
- Don't drop a bomb when a slingshot will work! In other words, don;t overreact to a conflict by making it bigger than it really is.
- Honestly check your own attitude. When you find yourself having regular conflicts with lots of people, look inside yourself and realize that the person looking at you in the mirror might be largely responsible.
- Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Humanly speaking, we often rule ourselves with our hearts, and rule others with our heads.
- Don't let yourself become defensive. Your body language and voice tone are often the key factors in how defensive you come across.
- Learn to be flexible. Thomas Jefferson said: "In matters of principle, stand like a rock. In matters of taste, swim with the current." In sailing, the smaller boats usually make room for the bigger ones. In working with teens, I find the exact opposite to be true. The larger "your guidance boat", the easier it is to "move out of the way" for the "smaller boats", known as children.
Earlier this week I had a pretty significant conflict with an associate who I admire as a leader in many ways. They did everything from imply that I was being cold hearted to questioning my motives on a decision they did not agree with. I fought with my own emotions not to "see this person again." Their surprising disrespect made it even tougher for me to keep my cool. Even as I type these words, I still feel myself getting fired up. This morning I received an email from them: "Thanks for hearing me out and allowing me to talk! I admire you for all the work you do." Information, Insight, and Expertise - Our Services |
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Cost of the workshop per person: $499.00.
Tuition plus weekly post-workshop teleconference support
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trained and worked together developing opportunities for soul expansion.
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sSpecializes in the therapeutic transport of at-risk adolescents.
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For the quickest response call toll free (866) 357-4769 or visit our website -1st Class Investigations |
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ASK GLENDA
By Glenda Gabriel
Core Solutions
www.CoreBB.com
Q. My daughter is 15 years
old. In reading through your site (www.guidingteens.com) I realize that my husband and I are not
alone in the difficulties we are experiencing with our daughter, but we
recently made a decision that I would appreciate your input on. We invaded her
privacy and did this knowingly. We quickly found that she has used
"perks" and "mushrooms", smokes and has tried alcohol, etc.
I can both understand and appreciate her anger and hurt at us "invading
her privacy," but what options do we have? What is a parent supposed to
do? Do we wait and hope that it all turns out OK and that she comes out on the
other side of adolescence fine? Where can a parent draw the line on what is
private and what isn't when it comes to the health and well being of their
child? Any help you could provide would be greatly appreciated.
A. You have a
confirmed list of multiple behaviors that are putting your daughter's life at
risk.
When she ran out into the street as a toddler, did you wait to see if
everything turned out OK? No. You acted immediately to protect her from the
potential danger. It's normal for teens to want some privacy as they go
through the healthy motions of growing up, defining who they are and work towards
becoming independent, healthy adults capable of making sound decisions. But
when their choices and behaviors move into a danger zone, and even illegal
choices like your daughter has, parents must intervene. If teens are unwilling
or incapable of managing freedoms in a safe and healthy manner, those freedoms
become dangerous and need to be removed.
'Privacy', in the
instances you described, has become a dangerous zone for your daughter. She
also got you to back off and start second-guessing yourselves, putting you on
the defensive, when she responded with the age-old manipulation of accusing you
of 'invading her privacy'. Don't buy into that one.
A common tactic of teens is
to redirect and deflect the attention away from their behavior by getting you to
defend your actions. And an overly trusting parent is the most vulnerable to
being deceived. Don't fall for it. Also, don't make matters worse by going
'postal' and getting into yelling matches. Rather, get tuned into your parental
guidance system when it comes to the safety of your child. If something doesn't
feel right, figure it out. Don't make the mistake of looking the other way and
'hoping it will all turn out OK'. Let me be perfectly clear. You acted as responsible parents
by 'invading her so-called privacy'. At this point, that 'privacy' is a ruse
that provides the means to put herself at further risk.
It is your charge to
keep her safe at 15 years old, just as you did when she was a toddler. She did
not have the maturity at three to understand the dangers of running out into
traffic anymore then she does at fifteen to fully understand the consequences
and risks associated with illegal and unregulated chemical dependence.If she is caught with drugs, arrested and goes to juvenile
hall, will she be upset that you found out then? This is not a secret worth
keeping. What if she's involved in a car accident, has a seizure or an allergic
reaction to some unknown chemical that she is taking, or she came home and told
you she was pregnant? Do you really think it's realistic that she will just
come share everything that she has been doing and then get back on track 100% all
by herself and move forward in life? As her parents, are you really willing to
just risk that that life changing phone call will never come? Start by putting stronger boundaries and monitoring in
place. She will not like it, anymore then she would have liked getting scooped
up when running across the parking lot. She didn't see the dangers then; but
you did. She would have kicked and screamed from having her 'fun interrupted'. But
you did what was necessary to keep her safe. Your daughter is at far greater
risk right now since you cannot be with her every moment like you could when
she was a toddler. If setting stronger boundaries, limits and monitoring are
not enough to get her safely back on track, then I'd strongly recommend getting
some professional help. Guaranteed every parent reading this are just like you; that
no matter what you know of your child's choices and behaviors, you DO NOT know
it all. And if you think you do, you are living in denial. If you don't believe
me, ask yourself if there's ever been anyone in your entire life who has known
every single thing about you.
The answer will be, NO. It just goes against human
nature.
So all the things you discovered about what's going on in your
daughter's life is important information, however there is more you do not
know. Guaranteed. So you have every right to be concerned for you daughter, and
you need to act now. Get over needing her approval. She doesn't need you to be her friend. She
needs you to be her parents. Her behavior is screaming loudly that she, and her
family, need help. Do not continue to sit on the side lines.
Glenda
Gabriel is a strong advocate for parent's rights and the
parent-choice industry. In addition to being the mother of a program graduate,
she's worked for many years developing vital parent support services for
structured residential boarding schools. www.CoreBB.com
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Adopted Children Are Exposed To Many Stresses
The challenges that adoptive children and parents face do not cease
after the formal adoption process has occurred.
Although adoption dates back centuries, the issue of whether or not
adopted children are at risk for psychological maladjustment remains
controversial. Adopted children are exposed to many stresses that could increase
their risks for psychological maladjustment.
The biologic parents of
children given up for adoption have a high incidence of impulse control
problems such as hyperkinesis, chemical dependency and personality
disorder. Adopted children are therefore at genetic risk for these
disorders. Before a permanent adoption placement, some adopted children often endure
poor nutritional and health status, poor living conditions,
discontinuous care taking, disharmonious family environments,
inadequate stimulation and affection, neglect and abuse.
The challenges that adoptive children and parents face do not cease
after the formal adoption process has occurred.
Adopted children must
confront the difficult questions of whom their biologic parents are and
why they are no longer with them.
Adopted children are naturally inquisitive about their own backgrounds
and that of their biologic families. Unfortunately, they have a double
hindrance in this regard, as they usually find it difficult to find
their personal histories, and are likely to have feelings of
ambivalence and anxiety about what they might discover. Unresolved questions about their backgrounds can lead to obstacles in
healthy identity formation. A strong identification with an idealized
image of their biologic parents sometimes fills the emotional void
resulting from these lingering uncertainties.
Identification with the
idealized biologic parents can compel the adopted child to reject and
devalue his or her adoptive parents, which complicates the process of
identity formation.
Adoptive parenthood involves difficult challenges as well.The child's age at placement has also been associated with the outcome.
Better psychological adaptation has been associated with adoption
during the first six months of age. Despite the risks and challenges of adoption, the vast majority of
adoptees do not manifest long-term problems, nor do they require
psychiatric treatment. Despite the challenges that arise from working through adoption-related issues, most adopted children adjust well.
Adoption Related Therapy
Most therapy sessions take place in an outpatient setting.
This
means that the client is seen in the therapist's office, typically in a
50-minute session once a week. Most emotional and psychiatric problems
do not become serious enough to require treatment beyond this level.
Many adoption-sensitive therapists believe that therapy for adoptive
families benefits from a more flexible time schedule and is best done
when the entire family is included.Sometimes a child can best be treated with the limits and structured
environment that a residential treatment center provides. Residential
treatment is often the treatment of choice for children and teens with
emotional, behavioral, or substance abuse problems.Residential
treatment centers, which provide 24-hour care, are generally private,
nonprofit facilities set up for children with severe psychiatric or
substance abuse needs. They may be organized in individual community
homes, in a campus-type setting of cottages, or in a large institution
(similar to a hospital setting).
Residential treatment programs focus on the development of positive
coping skills and personal responsibility.
Behavioral therapy often is
practiced in residential treatment programs; that is, the child's good
behavior will bring about appropriate rewards and privileges.
Children
in residential treatment usually have regular visits with their
parents. Family connections are critical to help motivate children to
change their behavior so that they can return home.
Hospitalization in a psychiatric hospital is available for clients
with serious emotional problems that cannot be modified through
outpatient therapy. It may be necessary for children who become
suicidal or dangerous to themselves or others to be hospitalized to
avert a crisis. It is important that parents stay involved; in fact,
most child and adolescent units of psychiatric hospitals insist that
parents participate in family meetings or therapy. When they are not
automatically included, parents need to be proactive in emphasizing the
involvement of the family in their child's treatment. Locating the right therapist requires that a parent identify some
prospective therapists who have adoption experience and then conduct
preliminary interviews to find the one who seems best able to help the
child or family.
Identifying prospective therapists
It is important that
parents take the time to find a mental health provider who has the
experience and expertise required to address their needs effectively.
Professionals with adoption knowledge and experience are best suited to
help families identify connections between problems and adoption and to
plan effective treatment strategies. At a minimum, a therapist must:
- Be knowledgeable about adoption and the psychological impact of adoption on children and families
- Be experienced in working with adopted children and their families
- Know the types of help available for adoption-related issues and problems
- Have received training in working with adoptive families
Many public and private adoption agencies and adoptive parent support
groups have lists of therapists who have been trained in adoption
issues or who have effectively worked with children in foster care and
adoption. Some adoption agencies and specialized postadoption service
agencies have mental health therapists trained in adoption on staff.
Interviewing prospective therapists
Using the recommendations
that they gather, parents can call prospective therapists or schedule
an initial interview to find out basic information. Some therapists
will offer an initial brief consultation that is free of charge.
Parents need to start by giving the clinician a brief description of the
concern or problem for which they need help.
Working With a Therapist
When the child is the
identified client in therapy, the family's involvement and support for
the therapy is critical to a positive outcome for the child. An
adoption-competent therapist will value the participation of adoptive
parents. Traditional family therapists not familiar with adoption
issues may view the child's problems as a manifestation of overall
family dysfunction. They may not take into account the child's earlier
experiences in other care settings and may view adoptive parents more
as a part of the problem than the solution. Adoption-competent
therapists know that the adoptive parents will be empowered by
including them in the therapeutic process and that no intervention
should threaten the parent-child relationship. Parents' commitment to the therapy may also contribute to the
success of the therapeutic process.
For instance, parents are obligated
to keep scheduled appointments. They need to refrain from using therapy
sessions as punishment for a child's misbehavior.
Family members must
communicate regularly with the therapist and ensure that the therapist
has regular feedback about conditions at home.The success of therapy
depends heavily on open and trusting communication.
Parents may want to request an evaluation meeting with the therapist
6 to 8 weeks after treatment begins and regular updates thereafter. Members of adoptive families may encounter issues at different points
in their lives that affect their behavior and emotional well-being and
that require treatment from a professional therapist.
Adoption-competent therapists, who understand adoption issues and
adoptive family dynamics, are best suited to provide clinical
interventions. With some research, parents can find the therapist best
able to support their child and family.
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