Drug Testing Your Teen At Home
Like it or not, the drug subculture is now part of the mainstream.
Despite the government's war on drugs, access
to illicit drugs is relatively easy for anyone that wants them. A
cursory glance at the headlines or television will tell you that drugs
have invaded all parts of our society.
The housewife, the professional
athlete, and the elected official have all succumbed to the temptation
of illicit drugs. Even scarier is the dramatic rise in drug use among
children as young as 10 and 11 years old.
Parents are right to worry about their children
and the influence the drug culture has over them; however, the dilemma
is trust versus safety.
When parents become heavy-handed in their
approach to dealing with the problem, they risk losing the trust of
their child and will have to deal with the ensuing emotional backlash.
To take a laissez-faire approach could bring disaster as well.
Many
teens admit that they would use drugs more often if it weren't for the
threat of regular drug testing at home.
It's common today for parents to use technology
to monitor their children. There are computer programs to tell you what
your child is doing on the Internet, and GPS devices installed in the
family car will tell you exactly where the car's been driven and how
fast. While drug testing your child at home should not be a first
resort, it is a valuable weapon to have in your arsenal against drug
abuse. Secretly some teens are happy about drug testing at home because
it gives them a valid reason to say no to their friends. Before you proceed with your own drug testing program, there are a few things you may want to consider:
- A conversation should precede any action on the parents' part.
- Drug testing should only be done for cause. When your child is functioning and doing well in school, there may be no reason to test.
- Have a plan of action for the test results-negative or positive.
When you have found drug paraphernalia or your
child has used drugs in the past, a drug test may be a reasonable
option.
There are many FDA-approved test kits that test for multiple drugs. As a parent, the final decision--and responsibility--rests with you. Clara Myers. Privy-Test.com offers
test kits for illicit drug use as well as other health-related concerns
such as fertility, diabetes, and HIV. Protect your privacy and test at
home.
News & Views
|
Our Sponsors
Kim Arnsparger M.Ed.
Educational Consultant
Helping find the best treatment program for your at-risk child
|
1st Class Investigations, Inc.
Serving all
50 states. Immediate or same day response. Call toll free
(866) 357-4769
|
Academy at Canyon CreekThe program places particular emphasis on
responsibility for one's actions and helps work with parents to address these maladaptive
behaviors.
|
Core Solutions
Schools can now respond by
offering solid solutions that will take family healing to the next level
by making it possible for the entire family to become an involved part of
the solution.
|
Eldorado Academy
An independent, private
school specializing in distance learning for grades K-12
|
United States Intervention Services
24 Hour Toll Free Hotline: 888-337-8747
|
|
|
|
Greetings!
Eight Ways to Spot Teen Emotional Manipulation
1. A teen emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. When you ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is
IF they didn't volunteer to do it first.
Then when you say, "ok thanks"
- they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let
you know they don't really want to do whatever said thing
happens to be. When you tell them it doesn't seem like they want to do
whatever - they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF
COURSE they wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of
crazy making - which is something emotional manipulators are very good
at. When an emotional manipulator said YES - make them
accountable for it.
Do NOT buy into the sighs - when they
don't want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on
the headphones and run a bath and leave them to their drama.
2. Guilt. Teen Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for
being emotional or not being emotional enough, for being caring and giving, or for not being caring and giving enough. Any thing is fair game and open to
guilt with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom
express their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through
emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a
potent one. Most of us parents are pretty conditioned to do whatever is
necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt.
Another powerful emotion
that is used is sympathy.
An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and
nurture.
Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do
their own dirty work.
The crazy thing is that when you do it for them
(which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around and
say they certainly didn't want or expect you to do anything!
Try to
make a point of not fighting your teen's battles, or doing their
dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your
ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and note
the bull**** meter once again.
3. Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it.
When
you find yourself in a relationship with your teen where you figure you need to start
keeping a log of what's been said because you are beginning to question
your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional manipulation. An
emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things around,
rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can lie so
smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they'll call it white -
and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very senses.
Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can literally
alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation is VERY
Dangerous!
It is very disconcerting for an emotional manipulator when you
begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making notations during
conversations. Feel free to let them know you just are feeling so
"forgetful" these days that you want to record their words for
posterity's sake.
4. Teen Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don't deal
with things directly. They will talk around behind your back and
eventually put others in the position of telling you what they would
not say themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find
subtle ways of letting you know they are not happy little campers.
They'll tell you what they think you want to hear and then undermine it.
5. Teen Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no responsibility for themselves or their own behavior - it is always about what everyone else has "done to them".
6. There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around. Do not care take - do
not accept an apology that feels unreal. When it feels like unreal - it probably is. When dealing with an
emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST your senses. Once an
emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver - it's added to their
hit list ... you know .... those all telling magical buttons that all parents wear.
7. When you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain tumor!
No
matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has probably
been there or is there now - but only ten times worse.
It's hard after
a period of time to feel emotionally connected to your teen when they are an emotional
manipulator because they have a way of de-railing conversations and
putting the spotlight back on themselves. When you call them on this
behavior they will likely become deeply wounded and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are always in the spotlight. The thing is that even though you know this is not the
case you are left with the impossible task of proving it. Don't bother
- TRUST your gut, walk away and count to ten, fifteen, twenty!
8. Teen Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator is angry or sad the very room is dense in feeling with
it all - it brings a deep instinctual response to find someway to equalize
the emotional climate and the quickest route is by making the emotional
manipulator feel better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick
with this type of behavior in your family for too long and you will be so enmeshed and
co-dependent you will forget you even have needs - let alone that you
have just as much right to have your needs met.
Dore E. Frances, MA
Educational Consultant
Parent Coach
Child Rights Advocate
The owners and publishers
of these pages wish to state that the material presented here is the product
of our research. Have a comment or question?
Email - Dore@Dorefrances.com
Articles of Interest |
|
 Anger
management techniques for teens
Teen anger. We
all have seen it. Is anger just a normal part of growing up and
learning to manage angry feelings? How can a parent help? Teens can be as
confused about their angry outbursts as you are.
Anger and tears
when you try to talk to them may indicate that they could feel
embarrassed and helpless to change. We will look at a
variety of possible causes of teen anger and some strategies for
helping both you and your teen to express feelings in safe,
appropriate ways.
Anger can be
triggered by many factors. Some people are temperamentally more
volatile, more sensitive and more easily angered. Developmentally,
there are periods of life where growth struggles bring about
increased frustration (like when you're a toddler or a teenager),
because kids are trying to understand what they get to control and
what they don't get to control. Finally, there are stressful
circumstances with friends, sports, school, or home which can
cause increased feelings of anger.
In thinking about
anger, it is important to remember that it is usually a secondary
emotion. The underlying emotion is more likely to be rejection,
fear, failure, frustration or sadness. For boys, society is often
more accepting of anger than it is of these other underlying
emotions and so anger may be what your son shows most readily.
However, it's important to bear in mind that there are other
feelings underneath that need to be expressed and resolved. Here are some
suggestions for working with your teenager:
-
Approach
discussions from a supportive place.
While it is natural to be disappointed and frustrated with
your adolescent for losing control one more time, he/she needs your
support and understanding. They need to know that you have
confidence in them. It is from this base of support that they
will be able to pay attention to their feelings, think clearly
and figure out what is happening inside of them. Try saying
something like, "I know we both get frustrated when you
lose your temper, but let's see if we can understand what
happens when you start getting mad and come up with some
solutions."
-
Understand
that feelings are not wrong.
In our society, certain feelings are viewed as
"negative" and others as "positive." In
fact, every feeling is a normal part of being human. When adolescents get the message that there is something wrong with
some of their feelings, they come to believe that something
must be wrong with them. Understanding that feelings are
normal can turn our energies to learning to express them
appropriately rather than repressing them.
-
Help your adolescent
explore acceptable ways to express anger and other feelings.
An important distinction to make is that we want our kids to
learn to control the expression of their feelings, not the
feeling itself. So rather than asking your adolescent to suppress or
ignore their anger, tell them you would like them to learn
alternative, safe and appropriate ways to express that anger.
Each family needs to decide what ways are acceptable and which
aren't: "In our family, we yell a lot. We don't call
names or say hurtful things, but people get loud when they are
angry." "Dad prefers to have time alone when he is
feeling mad. It helps me to punch the punching bag or take a
run around the block."
It can
sometimes be tricky when people in one family have different
ways of expressing anger. It is important that you and your adolescent think about ways they could show their anger that are both
satisfying to them and acceptable in your family.
-
Think about
the models your adolescent sees. Even more important than what we tell our kids is appropriate,
is what they see. They are watching the people in their
family, people on TV, friends. Work on modeling the ways you
would like to see your adolescent express their anger and discuss with them the other models they are seeing.
-
Explore your
own feelings. When
our children are struggling with big feelings, especially
anger, very often our own feelings get stirred up. Take some
time to think about what you learned about anger as a child
and what healthy messages you would like to pass on to your adolescent.
-
Help your teen
discover the sources and triggers of their anger.
By age fourteen, most people haven't yet learned what events
and circumstances are likely to trigger their anger. Many of
us, as adults, have still not learned this!) Helping your adolescent
figure out the things that are likely to get them mad will give them some power. ("I've noticed that every time you call Susan after school and she can't get together, you blow
up.")
As your adolescent learns the things that are likely to
trigger their anger (not eating enough, not getting enough
sleep, having a disappointment in school, experiencing a
setback in sports), they will feel less blindsided by their
feelings.
Eventually, understanding their triggers will give them
the ability to choose alternative routes so they don't end up
so angry.
-
Help your teen
learn to recognize their feelings before they get out of
control.
Once your adolescent has identified some of the things that they have been mad
about, they may be able to think about how they felt just before they "lost their temper."
Often this is the moment when they experienced the underlying feelings of hurt, fear or
sadness. When your adolescent can learn to recognize that they are
"on the way" towards being mad, they can make some
decisions about what they want to do with the feeling, rather
than letting the feeling overtake them.
Sometimes it
can be helpful to share your own stories: "I remember
when I was in a big track meet and I could tell I was going to
come in second in a race I really wanted to win. As I started
thinking about who I wanted to punch, I realized I was really
sad about not winning and I decided to go off and be by myself
for a while."
-
Get help when
you need it. When your adolescent's angry outbursts continue or feel out of control, or when they are being violent toward pets or people, seek out the
support of a counselor or other professional who works with
angry adolescents.
Troubled Teen Check List |
|
Seattle to Alaska Cruise and Parent Seminar
 Being a parent may be one of
the most joyful experiences imaginable.
It can also be
frustrating, maddening, exhausting, and occasionally overwhelming. Be more at ease that you've been in years.
Horizon Family Solutions is considering a parent seminar and cruise May 18 - 25, 2008. Let yourself be treated to genuine hospitality, warm smiles, and an unwavering attention to your needs.
Enjoy the convenience of sailing roundtrip from Seattle on a Princess cruise ship that has everything you could possibly imagine - the perfect setting from which to enjoy a parent seminar for a few days while also getting to explore a place of such stunning scenery and endless wonders.
Many times parents need a trusted source where they can get the information
they need to make the important decisions.
Not
only will parents learn themselves, they will enjoy the camaraderie with
other parents, who become valuable sounding boards for their frustrations
and concerns.
While cruising discover what it means to escape completely.
Alaska is an unspoiled land of rain forests, rugged islands, snowcapped mountains, and glaciers.
Potential seminar topics may include:
~ Boundaries For Moms
~ How to stop worrying about being a good parent and
become an effective one!
~ Parenting Between Mom and Dad
~ Setting Limits
~ Sidestepping the Power Struggle
Starting at approximately $1195 per person based on double occupancy for inside cabin (cruise and seminar).
Special air add ons are available from any major airport.
Dore Frances has been teaching Parent Seminar courses for over
ten years. She has a down to earth and humorous approach that
takes the guesswork out of parenting and leaves parents feeling
inspired.
Dore is a Child Rights Advocate and Educational Consultant, is a writer of the Family Solutions News monthly newsletter, and monthly columnist in the Bend, Oregon Bulletin. Because we want to save royally with early booking discounts, knowing in advance of your interest would be extremely beneficial.
Please make your deposit as soon as possible to get best cabin availability. Deposit required of $350 per person. Deposits are refundable up until final payment which is due February 1, 2008.
For additional cruise information and to make your deposit and secure your space, please send an email to our Travel Agent, Valerie Norman at valscruise@hawaii.rr.com.
For seminar information, please send an email to Dore@DoreFrances.com.
Space is limited to 16 state rooms, double occupancy.
Part of our service philosophy is ensuring every client enjoys a complete escape. Therefore, we are going the extra distance.
Invest one week in your family's future while cruising and discover what it means to escape completely.
.... and your escape has begun!!
Articles of Interest |
Marijuana
What is marijuana?
Marijuana is an illegal drug that comes from dried flowers and leaves of the
hemp plant. It can be smoked, taken by the mouth, or put into foods. When taken,
marijuana alters a person's mood. Its psychological effects include:
- Increased or nervous laughter
- An intense feeling of great happiness or
well-being
- Increased appetite
Larger doses of marijuana can produce:
- Confusion and uncertainity
- Hallucinations
Marijuana available today is more than 20 times as potent as what was
available in the early 1960s.
What's so bad about marijuana?
Marijuana is risky for many reasons. Consider these facts:
Marijuana:
- Makes it more difficult for the body to fight
illnesses
- When smoked, contains over 2,000 chemicals that
can stay in your body up to a full month
- Can harm the heart, lungs, brain, and sex organs
- Contains more cancer-causing agents than
cigarettes
Marijuana use can lead to:
- Asthma
- Memory loss
- Panic attacks
- Lung damage
- Brain damage
- Slowed reaction time
- Change in sex drive
- Death due to impaired driving
- False beliefs about self, family, friends
- Unfounded fear or distrust of family and friends
- Decreased immunity to illnesses
People who use marijuana often:
- Lack energy and motivation
- Lose interest in activities, work, and school
- Have difficulty concentrating and learning
When should I seek help for marijuana use?
If you can answer "yes" to even one of these questions, it is time to
seek help:
- Do you often wonder when you can smoke again?
- Do you worry if you can't get marijuana?
- Is smoking marijuana creating problems in your
family, job, school, or relationships?
- Do you spend more and more money on pot?
- Have you been stopped for driving while high?
Can a person become addicted to marijuana?
Yes. A person who uses marijuana heavily might find that he or she needs more
and more of the drug to obtain the desired effect. This condition happens when
the body begins to adjust to marijuana. The user may spend more time and money
on his or her drug habit. As an addict, he or she might:
- Behave less responsibly
- Withdraw from family and friends
- Be overly focused on getting the drug at the
expense of other activities with family and friends
Unlike drugs such heroin and cocaine, marijuana does not produce strong
physical withdrawal symptoms.
What's most important to remember is that any time
drug or alcohol use continues to affect your life in a negative way, it's time
to seek help.
How can I help someone who is abusing marijuana?
Although it might be obvious to you that someone you care about needs help,
people with drug problems often do not believe they have a problem. Arguing or
trying to push someone to stop using or taking drugs rarely works. There are
ways that you can help the person realize that he or she needs help.
- Don't attempt to "shame" the person
out of drug use. Feelings of guilt or shame are often a cause of drug use.
- Don't confront a person who is high or drunk.
Let him or her know how you feel when he or she is not using.
- Don't lend money for drugs.
- Encourage the user to seek help.
- Get help for yourself, if you need it, so as not to enable.
How is marijuana abuse treated?
Counseling is the main form of treatment as a first step.
The goal of counseling is to help the
person confront emotional issues that lead to marijuana use and to learn ways to
abstain from marijuana use.
Recovery programs vary in length and can take place in residential treatment
centers or outpatient settings. This information is provided as information only and is not intended to replace the medical advice of your doctor or
health care provider. Please consult your health care provider for advice about a specific
medical condition.
|
|
Parents Who Love Their Teens Too Much
Parents Who Love
Gives time, attention, and affection to the teen and provides for their
emotional and physical needs.
Parents Who Love Too Much
Enmeshes themself in the teen's life and sees them as an extension
of (her)himself.
Parents Who Love
Is determined to be the best parent he or she can be, while recognizing that
it's impossible to be perfect.
Parents Who Love Too Much
"Overparents" and overprotects the teen in an effort to dispel anxiety over being
a "good" parent or to make up for his/her own childhood.
Parents Who Love
Accepts that the teen has strengths and weaknesses. he/she provides a
nonjudgmental atmosphere in which self-esteem is fostered.
Parents Who Love Too Much
Unconcsciously judges the teen who can't live up to his/her rigid expectations.
He/she does for the teen, rather than with them, fearing that they
will fail without her/his help.
Parents Who Love
Encourages independence and growth while setting appropriate limits, thus providing
a safe environment for the teen to explore and promoting their autonomy.
Parents Who Love Too Much
Discourages the teen's independence, seeks to control their thoughts, feeling,
and actions, and unconsciously wishes to mold them into the image of their highest
expectations.
Parents Who Love
Communicates with the teen in a direct, open, and honest way, creating an atmosphere
of safety and trust.
Parents Who Love Too Much
Often creates insecurity and mistrust by communicating indirectly with the teen,
seeking, unconsciously, to manipulate or control.
Parents Who Love
Listens to the teen and gives out of a desire to meet the their emotional or
material needs.
Parents Who Love Too Much
Unconsciously gives to meet his/her own unmet desires and unfulfilled hope,
with little regard to what the teen truly needs.
Parents Who Love
Encourages the teen's internal strengths and qualities.
Parents Who Love Too Much
Is more concerned with externals and anxiously compares their teen to others.
If you're a parent who loves too much:
- Stop trying to be the perfect parent.
- Learn to accept and validate yourself daily.
- Reach out to others who can help.
- Develop your own network of support and healthy interests.
- Deactivate your automatic pilot, stop reacting.
- Learn to let go of control.
- If you are married, concentrate on developing a healthy marriage and family.
- Stop giving in to your teen, it is destructive.
- Uncover your unrealistic expectations.
- Learn to communicate effectively.
- Don't allow you teen to exploit you or bankrupt you.
- Take one step at a time.
Some of the above are excerpts from "When Parents Love Love Too Much" by Laurie Ashner & Mitch Meyerson.
News & Views |
Justices Rule on
Education Lawsuits - Side 1
By
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published:
May 21, 2007
Filed at 11:50 a.m. ET
WASHINGTON
(AP) -- Parents need not hire a lawyer to sue public school districts over
their children's special education needs, the Supreme Court ruled Monday. The
decision came in the case of an autistic boy from Ohio,
whose parents argued they were effectively denied access to the courts because
they could not afford a lawyer.
Federal
law gives every child the right to a free appropriate public education, which
in the case of special needs children sometimes means enrollment in a private
facility. But
most federal courts had concluded that parents who are not lawyers and who want
to challenge decisions have to hire an attorney to represent them.
Justice
Anthony Kennedy, writing for the court, said parents have legal rights under
the Individuals With Disabilities in Education Act, the main federal special
education law.
''They
are, as a result, entitled to prosecute IDEA claims on their own behalf,''
Kennedy said.
The
court sided with Jeff and Sandee Winkelman and their son, Jacob, in their fight
against the Parma, Ohio
school district.
The
Winkelmans can't afford a lawyer or the cost of private schooling for Jacob.
Neither parent is a lawyer. The
parents objected to the Parma
schools' plan to educate Jacob at a public school. They wanted the district to
pay for his $56,000 yearly enrollment in a private school that specializes in
educating autistic children. The
Winkelmans have spent about $30,000 in legal fees since first contesting
Jacob's treatment in 2003.
Jeff Winkelman has taken a second job while his wife
has researched previous court rulings and written her own filings.
Sandee
Winkelman said she might press the case on behalf of her 9-year-old son with
one of several attorneys who have offered to represent the family for free. If
that doesn't work out, she said, the family would proceed without an attorney.
''I
would prefer to give Jacob the best chance with an attorney. That's the best-case
scenario,'' she said after the ruling was announced. ''I'm very pleased. It
restored a lot of faith I have in the system.''
It is
unclear how many parents forgo lawsuits because they can't afford them,
although advocates for disabled children said in court papers that most parents
of disabled children lack the means to hire a lawyer. Parents
unhappy with a district's plan can appeal the decision through an
administrative process. If they remain dissatisfied, they can file a civil
lawsuit on their child's behalf, federal courts have said. At that point,
however, most courts have said the parents must hire a lawyer.
Whether
Jacob should have private schooling at public expense was not before the Supreme
Court, only his parents' right to go into federal court without a lawyer. The 6th
U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals had ruled in the school district's favor.
Monday's ruling overturned that decision. The
case number is Winkelman v. Parma City School District,
05-983.
|
Justices Rule on
Education Lawsuits - Side 2
 My phone has been ringing off the hook about this legal disaster, (for parents) as I expected!
I began hearing rumblings
about this a few weeks ago over lunch with a couple of attorneys who've
consulted with me for years.
I KNEW that the press couldn't mess up the
message enough (they surpassed even themselves, yet again!), creating
yet another area of the SPED system that parents will misunderstand
entirely and then, be taken further and full advantage of (at the cost
of their child's future) by districts in civil court.
Media misrepresentation - even just misleading
headlines like this one - make me crazy, but this one really takes the
cake!
Again, parents with the most at risk (and the most to lose!)
will see this and think that this is a wonderful benefit for
them, when it is exactly the
opposite; strictly to the advantage to districts in civil court matters.
My prediction is that many parents who will be
drawn to this headline will be enticed
by this thing that is not authentic, and will lose
money and services - without a doubt - and with only an appeal left to
them, as a source of resolution.
(Imagine the time that these proceedings will
absorb for parents: time off with out pay, loss of services then recouping those
services out of pocket etc..!)
Of
course, prevailing in appellate court is even less likely than prevailing when
inexperienced parents represent themselves in the initial case. It will be their
only option to recoup funds and services they will have lost and the odds are SO
against them. More than anything, this "decision" will
mess with the future of the children with the most severe disabilities, like the
example used by the AP, citing the family with the autistic
child, an example that will grab the attention of the most vulnerable folks.
This "system" never fails to amaze
me.
Supreme Court Rules on Education LawsuitsMoney Buys Time for Kamehameha SchoolsHigh Court Rules for parents of disabled boy |
|
Ask Glenda
How do parents ensure that a program
or school is a "best fit" for their pre-teen? ~Andrea P, Florida
Age is irrelevant. Whether a teen, pre-teen or
even a young adult, you determine it the same way you've made other important decisions
for your child. You do your homework, ask questions and be open to solutions. Work
with trusted professionals such as a Therapist, Family Coach and/or an
Educational Consultant. Their objectivity, resources and experience can be
invaluable. Speak to others who've had experience with your same type of
situation. If possible, get your own personal experience. Visit the program
prior to placement so that you can meet the staff, see the facility and have
the chance to speak with some of the students.
Ultimately though, it's critical
you trust your own decision. However, the last one can be especially tricky if
you are all wound up in guilt, anger, shame and/or fear. There is a great deal of stress and fear a
parent endures as their child spins out of control.
So seek out programs that
are 'family friendly.' Reputable
programs will have other parents willing to share their experience with you.
Look for programs that have systems in place to encourage interaction with
other parents for the purpose of support and encouragement that will help you
stay the course and make it through the tough days. Systems that will also keep you updated,
informed and serve as a means for receiving direction and coaching from the
staff.
This has affected your whole family, not just
your child. To achieve true family healing, you all want to be working towards
solutions, both individually and as a family.
Bio:
Glenda Gabriel is a strong advocate for parent's rights and the
parent-choice industry. In addition to being the mother of a program graduate,
she's worked for many years developing vital parent support services for
structured residential boarding schools. Having at one time experienced her own child's self-destructive behavior, she
knows first hand the horrific roller coaster of emotions parents go through;
helplessness and the loss of hope, fueled by guilt, shame and isolation. No
matter how supportive and caring their personal support system, no one really
understands what they're going through. Driven by a passion to make a difference, and understanding these parents
unique needs, Glenda went on to create and introduce many innovative solutions
for the parent-choice industry, that work with at-risk youth and their
families. The results gave a venue and voice for more parent involvement. These
solutions met the parent's need for support, 'tightened ranks' with their
child's program, and encouraged personal ownership so that the entire family
was working towards growth and healing. She also started parent support groups
organized for parents of at-risk kids who were needing and/or already in
treatment. Those groups rapidly multiplied and spread across the country. Her
willingness to share her experiences, reasons to hope, and being an advocate
for personal ownership, quickly made her a sought after speaker by parent
groups, volunteer and humanitarian organizations, PTAs and school faculties,
and programs and schools associated with the parent-choice industry. Glenda points out that everyone has a stake in turning around the lives of kids
with out-of-control behavior. Everyone benefits by a willingness to be part of
the solution to stop the destruction, because our youth, and their families,
are the very heart and foundation of our country.
Their success ripples out and
benefits us all.
Send questions to ASK GLENDA at Dore@Dorefrances.com
|
|
|
Welcome to the rest of your life. The milestones of life, whether coincidence or planned, proud or tragic, life is a series of milestones that offer a person opportunities for new beginnings. The moment you realize this life can, and does, change in an instant is a profound moment in the journey of life. The wonderful and/or scary thing about new beginnings is that they happen each and every day, despite the fact that we don't usually think of them that way. Intellectually, we reserve the new year, the fist day of spring or the beginning of a new school year as milestones on the calendar to "start something new" and "different" and ye, we usually hope "better".
However, new beginnings happen every day, like when we open our eyes and start the day with opportunities to make conscious choices about what we will d and why we will do it. It is also a harsh reality that new beginnings happen to us without planning, forcing us to find new ways of doing things - surviving things - despite what we would have chosen.
At age 53 (almost 54) I can now have fun putting "MA" next to my name now that I have finished my graduate program in Child and Family Studies. This change was intentional, as I realized that succeeding meant waking up every morning with a renewed determination to follow through on a goal.
William Bridges, author of "Transitions" and an expert in change management for individuals and organizations, acknowledges the scary side of new beginnings.
He wrote, "Much as we may wish to make a new beginning, some part of us resists doing so as though we were making the first step toward disaster."
New beginnings can happen without warning.
The point is to recognize new beginnings for what they are: the first day of the rest of our lives.
With warm regards,
Dore E. Frances, MA
Educational Consultant
|
|
Dore E. Frances, MA
Educational Consultant
Horizon Family Solutions, LLC
|
|
|
