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Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you for taking time to read this newsletter ~
Fall is here and Winter is close by. We know you are
busy getting kids off to school, preparing for the
holidays, with work and many other commitments.
We
would like to thank you for taking the time to read
our November edition of Horizon Family Solutions
News and Views.
This monthly publication, produced
by Horizon Family Solutions, LLC, is distributed to
people in many different communities all across the
U.S., Canada and abroad. The intention of each
newsletter is to bring you information on many
different subjects of which you have expressed
interest, to inform you about ongoing or new
programs and services available to families and to
help you get to know us a little better. In this
issue, we felt it important to highlight several
topics that we have been asked about over and over
again during this year by parents and those working
with adolescents and young adults. We also want to
direct you to resources in case you would like
additional information. The next newsletter will be
out via email the first week in December. Please
send any concerns, comments, questions or
suggestions you may have about this newsletter and
story ideas to dore@dorefrances.com.
We are gearing up for new article ideas for the
coming year so all suggestions are welcomed.
Enjoy this issue as well as your fall and winter season
of holidays.
Sincerely,
Dore E. Frances
Founder, Horizon Family Solutions, LLC
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Ask Kate
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Can you believe that his column has been running for a year now?!
Throughout the year I have received a lot of really
wonderful questions, and together we have covered
some really important issues relating to children
and mental health.
This edition will acknowledge all
of your participation in this section of the
newsletter and I will explain why this unfortunately
will be the last edition of “Ask Kate”. You may
recall when the column began I had
mentioned that in addition to my work in the field
of mental health, I am also a full time student in
graduate school.
It seems like ALL of my time has
been spent either studying, working, or writing!
While I really enjoy everything I am doing, I have
begun to realize that I really need to focus on my
education and doing research for my dissertation.
I’m sure that all of you busy parents can relate to
feeling like there just aren’t enough hours in the
day to get everything done, so I hope you can
understand my need to prioritize at this time. I
would like to congratulate all of you who are able
to balance work, family, and extracurricular
activities in your lives, and will use your
experiences to motivate me in my endeavors.
If you have any suggestions or advice for me as I
embark on earning my Ph.D. please feel free to write
in with your ideas. I have truly appreciated all of
your questions and participation. Again I would like
to thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me
and with each other for the past year. You may
contact me at: kbuxbaum@gmail.
com.
Horizon Family Solutions would like to thank Kate
for all her great advice to many parents this last
year. She has been a source of inspiration to many
families. I can only say that she will be missed
and we all look forward to hearing from her again
sometime in the future. All the best to you Kate!
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Dr Keith Ablow Show Looking For Families Battling Teen Anger
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Are you and your teen battling anger issues?
Are you and your teen battling anger issues? Is
your teenager dating someone who has a bad temper?
Is your teen's rage affecting your family? Let Dr.
Keith help you.
"The Dr. Keith Ablow Show," a new daytime program
produced by Warner Brothers Television, premiered in
September.
Dr. Keith Ablow is an
acclaimed psychiatrist who has made numerous
appearances on Today, Good Morning America, Larry
King and Oprah. Dr. Keith's show will focus on real
people, real issues and real solutions.
We are currently researching teen anger issues and
how those issues affect the teen's relationships
with parents and friends. If you or someone you
know needs help facing their teen's rage, please
consider contacting the show. At this time, we are
working with teens 16 and older.
Contact:
Michele
Friedman, Associate Producer
212-506-4296
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SAVING TEENS IN CRISIS COLLABORATIVE
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Saving Teens Looks For Needy Families To Help
Thanks to the generosity of private donors and a
grant of $100,000 from the federal government,
Saving Teens In Crisis Collaborative (STICC) has
raised enough money to begin saving teens.
STICC is
looking for suitable families, who will be funded
through an 18-20 month, long-term recovery program,
including wilderness therapy and a therapeutic
boarding school. Families will also receive support
through the Saving Teens network of parents who
have
already gone through such a process.
To apply, the
teen must be no older than 16 years of age.
Parents
or referring parties must contact one of the
following Educational Consultants who are working
with Saving Teens:
- Marilyn Engelman—508-870-1515
- Adam Goldberg—508-320-2700.
- Leslie Goldberg—781-749-2074
- Lon Woodbury—208-267-5550
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PRISM Parent Development Seminars - What Works, What Doesn't and Why
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New Parent Seminar Series - If you Always Do What You Have Always Done ~ You Will Always Get What You Have Always Got!
Here is the five part seminar parenting program that
many of you requested. It is set up as a five part
program and is structured that way so that you may
receive the most information at one time without
being too overwhelmed.
Part One
Consisting of:
- The Principles of Effective Parenting
- What the Heck is Wrong with Kids Today?
This first part provides an overall foundation for
the remainder of the seminar series.
Part Two
Consisting of:
- Let's Focus on One Problem (Challenge) at a
Time
- Problems or Challenges? Challenges, Challenges
and More Challenges
- The Matter at Hand
This second part zeroes in on identifying and
eliminating challenging behaviors from your
adolescent's life
Part Three
Consisting of:
- Just What is it We are "Trying" to Do?
- Rules for Making Rules
- Consequences, Consequences, Consequences
This third part centers on establishing and
maintaining expectations and consequences
for your adolescent.
Part Four
Consists of:
- What Kind of Parent are You? ~ YOU ARE NOT A
BAD
PARENT!
- How You Parent Affects Your Adolescent - Absent,
Authoritarian, Coercive, Hyper-Responsible,
Hypochondriac, Indulgent, Perfectionist, Permissive,
Punitive, Rejecting, Neglectful, Submissive
This fourth part focuses on your parenting style and
its impact on your daughter or son.
And finally, Part Five
Consisting of:
- 40 Developmental Assets ~ Major drivers in your
adolescent's lives.
- Assets, Assets, Who Has the Assets?
- Where Do We Go from Here?
This last part wraps up a look at building the
developmental assets in your daughter or son's life.
Each parent receives a handbook and when registering
we will make certain that this series is applicable
to you. I mean, how many times have you picked up
a
book, based on the cover, and then gotten home only
to realize that it does not really apply to you.
The parenting strategies and tactics presented at
this five part series seminar are intended to be for
parents of adolescents who are particularly
challenging. In order to convince us that this
seminar series fits your needs, we ask that you
review these very basic scenarios:
- It's a few minutes after 1am on Saturday. Your
daughter has just walked in the door. You
immediately know two things. First, she is over an
hour past her curfew. And second, it is apparent
that she has either been drinking or using drugs.
The reek of marijuana is undeniable.
- You are at work and your cell phone rings.
Glancing at the clock, you have a pretty good guess
who is calling. It is about 8:45am. The time that
the school usually calls to find out why your son is
not in school. You hesitate for a moment, wondering
if you should bother to answer. The school year is
only a little over a month old and you are already
on a first name basis with the principle and school
counselor.
- You are out at the mall with your daughter
shopping for clothes. You had not planned on going
to the Mall, but when she got home from school, she
started in on you. After about an hour you realized
that if you were going to get any semblance of peace
this evening, you had to make the time to take her
shopping. Once you entered the mall, you found
yourself almost running to keep up with her. It is
almost like you are not even there ~ until it comes
time to pay for her selections.
- You find yourself in the lobby of the local
Juvenile Court waiting to go before a Judge with
your son. He isn't with you. He is still down in
Detention where they took him last night after he
was picked up. They will bring him up when they
start doing the Detention Hearings. Sitting there,
you don't know if you can go through this again.
You son is only thirteen, yet you must have been in
this exact same position at least nine or ten times
before.
Sound familiar? If I still have your interest, this
parent seminar series is for you. We will keep you
updated on dates, locations, times and hope to see
you soon!
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KIDS IN CYBERSPACE
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Part One in this Series
The Internet is a wonderful tool for communications,
education or leisure.
It is a library with an
incredible 100 million books on every topic known,
easily accessible for research and study.
It gives
you the ability to chat in real time to anyone,
anywhere across the world. Its high speed electronic
mail routes link up the entire world into a true
global village. Its an exciting and essential
resource for all our adolescents - as essential as
learning to do Math, read and write.
But there are some risks to our adolescents when
they are using the Internet, risks which parents
need to be aware of. Internet technology is a tool.
A tool can be used or abused. This series of
articles will
explain to you the abuses that can and do occur.
The Internet is not only a window through which our
adolescents can see the whole world of experience
and
knowledge; it is also a door through which other
people can enter to communicate and reach out and
into our homes as well. It must therefore be used
carefully and
wisely. As you read this series of articles if you
decide that the
Internet is too dangerous a tool to have in your
house, and you decide to prevent your adolescent
from
using it, then this information will have failed in
its purpose. It is not my intention here to scare you,
only to bring to your attention issues that you may
not have considered before. No one can harm your
adolescent through the Internet unless they
choose to open
the door, make elementary safety errors, or are too
naive and trusting of strangers. As long as your
kids are careful and safety conscious, the Internet
can be used in the home with positive results. We
hope you will use the information contained in
this series of articles to help make your
adolescent's time online a valuable
experience.
We owe it to our kids to teach them about how to use
technology safely. Our teens
and the Internet are the future.
RISKS
Child Predators
The live chat networks are the main areas of the
Internet where sexual predators cruise searching for
vulnerable adolescents.
A number of unique factors
of the Internet facilitate the predators' search.
Due to the relative degree of anonymity online
predators are able to deceive adolescents. They may
lie about their age or gender. Online predators
often establish intimate relationships with
adolescents under the pretense of being part of
their peer group. Since age identification is
impossible, kids need to be careful when chatting
online with who they think is part of their peer
group. Adolescents are curious and trusting.
Unless
they are well prepared for what can happen in live
chat, they may innocently believe what they are told
online by strangers.
Predators target adolescents online who appear to
have low self-esteem, lack parental
supervision and are lonely. It is not uncommon for a
pedophile to become the online "confidant" of a
lonely adolescent, and they will often teach the
teen how to keep the online friendship a secret from
their parents. Online, just as offline, it is the
adolescent who is left alone who is most at risk.
Adolescents who have been abused, lured or seduced
online in real-time chat generally have parents who
are not Internet experienced. Therefore if your
adolescent is online then you must aim to be
actively involved in what they are doing.
Advice regarding child predators
Position your computer in your main living area (in
a public place) and make sure the monitor is facing
outwards INTO the room (never have the monitor
facing the wall - it creates a secret space). This
is the number ONE safety measure you can take and it
costs nothing. Never allow your adolescent to have
the
computer in the privacy and secrecy of their bedroom.
Understand that you and your kids need to work as a
team in cyberspace. This means discussing the rules
and boundaries for behavior, and sharing what's
going on online.
Educate your kids realistically about the Internet
and the possibility of sexual predators. Remember
that if the adolescent does not learn about online
predators from you, then they may learn about it
from the predators themselves when it happens to
them. This means that you need to educate yourself
too.
Make it clear that if something happens that is not
the adolescent's fault and if the teen tells you, then
you will not blame or punish them, nor will you ban
the Internet from the house. Only in this way will
you be able to create the atmosphere of trust where
your adolescent feels able to tell you what's going on
online.
Require your kids to share information about their
online friends with you. For younger children you
need to consider parental monitoring of your child's
email.
Understand that as kids approach adolescence they
may well deliberately seek out adult conversations
or encounters with older teens in order to explore
the "adult" world of sexuality.
Learn to recognize the warning signs of a child
possibly involved sexually online with an adult in
an exploitative relationship.
Signs may include
hostility to parents, a cutting off from "offline"
friends and activities, signs of Internet addiction,
secrecy about the Internet and a
preference for being alone with the computer.
Consider not allowing your younger child to roam
cyberspace alone. Most parents do not allow their
kids to roam
around the city streets on their own. Most parents
usually
require their children to be with an adult or a
buddy. This
rule can also be applied effectively to the
Internet. Your young child can be online with you
sitting next to them assisting. For older adolescents
you might require the teen to have a friend sitting
with them so that they are exploring the Internet
together rather than alone.
Remember that predators
need privacy and secrecy to work on luring your
adolescent.
Easy Access To Pornography And Child
Pornography
The World Wide Web does not come pre-screened and
selected for your adolescents. The decisions about
what
kinds of material adolescents can access is currently
in the hands of parents and teachers and will most
probably remain so.
Currently kids online have easy access to adult
pornographic discussions and adult material
(including pornography) as well as obscene images
and child pornography. It is possible for an
adolescent to
be exposed to this material without wishing to be.
It is also true that many teens will actively seek
out such material or discussions online as part of
their exploration of and an interest in the "adult"
world.
Pornography addiction by some young teens as
a result of saturation access online is a reality
facing some parents today.
It is important to become fully aware of what is
available to adolescents on the World Wide Web. You
can
then define boundaries clearly for your kids online
about what is and is not acceptable to you. This
means that you need to go and explore the World
Wide
Web for yourself and see what is available.
Advice Regarding Pornography And Child
Pornography
Define boundaries to your kids and set fair
consequences when boundaries are crossed.
Make informed decisions about what is age
appropriate content online.
Install and use parental control/filtering software,
or sign on with an Internet Service Provider that
provides the World Wide Web already screened so
that
most obscene material is removed. Remember, no
technology is foolproof, and filtering software is
no substitute for active parental involvement.
Learn more about the effects on children of early
exposure to graphic depictions of hard-core
pornography. Consider the opinions expressed by V
ICTOR
B. CLINE, Ph.D.,
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Salt Lake City, Utah
or Porn
everywhere, what's a child to think? by Adele
Horin.
Remember, as long as your kids are the only computer
users in the household, you will never know what
they are doing on the Internet.
Next month ~ Internet Gangs ~ Anti-social
behavior is encouraged, learned and rewarded.
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Santiam Crossing School Celebrating
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Now entering its third year
Santiam Crossing School is celebrating.
This year
alone the school has had some noteworthy
milestones:
28 students completed the program, 5 students met
the requirements to graduate from their hometown
high school, 7 students completed their GED, 4
students completed more than a full year of
academics in nine months, and the remainder
successfully transitioned to other academic
settings.
Santiam also received provisional
accreditation from the Northwest Association of
Accredited Schools (NAAS). To learn more about
Santiam Crossing call Sarah Mack at (800) 390-3983
or visit our website.
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goodparents, inc
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I am excited to introduce our new web site along with a special introductory offer.
Based on feedback from parents just like you, we
have developed a site,
www.goodparentsinc.com,
providing more than 5 times the content and MORE
FREE content than on our previous site. And, now
it’s even easier to find the valuable information
you need for your teens and family. With the
introduction of this new site, we are providing
premium content to subscribers at a nominal fee. As
a longtime goodparents supporter, we are offering
you a
special
membership for just $29.99 per year.
That’s only
$2.49 per month (50% off our regular monthly rate).
For less than the price of a cup of coffee, you’ll
receive a 20% discount on goodparents’ products and
programs, 10% off our new coaching services and
preferred rates for our speaker presentations at
your school or organization. Don’t forget to use the
promotion code when you subscribe:
INTRODISCOUNT
.
This offer is only available for a limited
time. Please share the promotion code with other
goodparents you know and help us help children
thrive and succeed.
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These days, drugs can be found everywhere, and it may seem like everyone's doing them.
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Part One in this Series
Overdose
death leads to Muncie teen's arrest
Adam died on February 17, 2003 from a drug
overdose.
Teen Sentenced To Probation In Friend's Overdose
Death
Many teens are tempted by the excitement or escape
that drugs seem to offer.
The Deal on Substances
Thanks to medical and drug research, there are
thousands of drugs that help people. Antibiotics and
vaccines have revolutionized the treatment of
infections. There are medicines to lower blood
pressure, treat diabetes, and reduce the body's
rejection of new organs.
Medicines can cure, slow, or
prevent disease, helping us to lead healthier and
happier lives. But there are also lots of illegal, harmful
drugs that people take to help them feel good or
have a good time.
How do drugs work? Drugs are
chemicals or substances that change the way our
bodies work. When you put them into your body
(often by swallowing, inhaling, or injecting them),
drugs find their way into your bloodstream and are
transported to parts of your body, such as your
brain. In the brain, drugs may either intensify or dull
your senses, alter your sense of alertness, and
sometimes decrease physical pain.
A drug may be
helpful or harmful. The effects of drugs can vary
depending upon the kind of drug taken, how much is
taken, how often it is used, how quickly it gets to
the brain, and what other drugs, food, or substances
are taken at the same time. Effects can also vary
based on the differences in body size, shape, and
chemistry. Although substances can feel good at
first, they can ultimately do a lot of harm to the body
and brain. Drinking alcohol, smoking tobacco, taking
illegal drugs, and sniffing glue can all cause serious
damage to the human body. Some drugs severely
impair a person's ability to make healthy choices and
decisions. Teens who drink, for example, are more
likely to get involved in dangerous situations, such as
driving under the influence or having unprotected
sex. And just as there are many kinds of drugs
available, there are as many reasons for trying drugs
or starting to use drugs regularly.
People take drugs
just for the pleasure they believe they can bring.
Often it's because someone tried to convince them
that drugs would make them feel good or that they'd
have a better time if they took them. Some teens
believe drugs will help them think better, be more
popular, stay more active, or become better athletes.
Others are simply curious and figure one try won't
hurt. Others want to fit in.
A few use drugs to gain
attention from their parents. Many teens use drugs
because they are depressed or think drugs will help
them escape their problems. The truth is, drugs don't
solve problems.
Drugs simply hide feelings and
problems. When a drug wears off, the feelings and
problems remain - or become worse. Drugs can ruin
every aspect of a person's life.
What are some of the more common drugs?
Alcohol
The oldest and most widely used drug in the world,
alcohol is a depressant that alters perceptions,
emotions, and senses.
How It's Used:Alcohol is a liquid that is
drunk.
Effects & Dangers
- Alcohol first acts as a stimulant, and then it
makes people feel relaxed and a bit sleepy.
- High doses of alcohol seriously affect a person's
judgment and coordination. Drinkers may have slurred
speech, confusion, depression, short-term memory
loss, and slow reaction times.
- Large volumes of alcohol drunk in a short period of
time may cause alcohol poisoning.
Addictiveness:Teens who use alcohol can
become psychologically dependent upon it to feel
good, deal with life, or handle stress.
In addition,
their bodies may demand more and more to achieve
the same kind of high experienced in the beginning.
Some teens are also at risk of becoming physically
addicted to alcohol. Withdrawal from alcohol can be
painful and even life threatening. Symptoms range
from shaking, sweating, nausea, anxiety, and
depression to hallucinations, fever, and
convulsions.
Amphetamines
Amphetamines are stimulants that accelerate
functions in the brain and body. They come in pills or
tablets. Prescription diet pills also fall into this
category of drugs.
Street Names:The most common street
names for amphetamines are "speed" and "uppers,"
but many others have been used over the years.
Many of the names come from the appearance of the
amphetamine tablets or capsules. Following is a
partial list of amphetamines’ street names.
The slang
used for amphetamines in your area may include some
of these terms, and may include totally new terms.
- Amp, Amped, Oranges, Truck drivers
- Bennie, Benz, Benzedrine, Black and white, Black
Mollies, Blue Mollies, Bumblebees
- Cartwheels, Co-pilot, Coast to coasts, Crisscross,
Cross tops
- Dexies, Dominoes, Pep pills, Uppers
- Eye openers, Rippers, Wake ups
- Footballs, Road dope
- Hearts, Snap
- Jelly baby, Jelly bean, Sparkle plenty
- Leapers, Lid poppers, Lightning, Sweets
- Marathons, Thrusters
How They're Used: Amphetamines are
swallowed, inhaled, or injected.
Effects & Dangers:
- Prolonged use may cause hallucinations and
intense paranoia.
- Swallowed or snorted, these drugs hit users with
a fast high, making them feel powerful, alert, and
energized.
- Uppers pump up heart rate, breathing, and blood
pressure, and they can also cause sweating, shaking,
headaches, sleeplessness, and blurred vision.
Addictiveness: Amphetamines are
psychologically addictive.
Users who stop report that
they experience various mood problems such as
aggression and anxiety and intense cravings for the
drugs.
Next month Part Two will cover Cocaine and
Crack as well as Cough and Cold Medicines
(DXM).
Updated and reviewed by:
Michele
Van Vranken, MD
Adolescent Medicine
Staff Physician, Teenage Medical Services
Medical Director, Annex Teen Clinic and West
Suburban Teen Clinic
Children's Physician Network
Minneapolis, MN
This information is brought to you by Horizon Family
Solutions, LLC. It is not intended to substitute for
medical care. If you suspect you have a health
problem, please contact your doctor or local clinic.
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Jason William Hunt Foundation
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Supporting At-Risk Youth Through Outdoor Experiential Education
The Foundation's mission is to perpetuate Jason's
spirit and love as exemplified by his work with kids
at risk in the outdoor setting.
The Foundation will
support Outdoor Experiential Education programs in
the form of scholarships for at-risk youth and
grants to qualified outdoor instructor / leader
training programs. Secondarily, support will be
given to those groups protecting and promoting use
of the outdoors for personnel development.
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Teen Drivers - Part One in this Series
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Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among 15- to 20-year olds
Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death
among 15- to 20-year olds.
According to the U.S.
Department of Transportation, 3,620 drivers in this
group died in car crashes in 2004, accounting for 14
percent of all the drivers involved in fatal crashes
and 18 percent of all the drivers involved in
police-reported crashes.
Twenty-four percent of the
teen drivers killed were intoxicated.
In 2002
(*latest data available) the estimated economic cost
of police-reported crashes involving drivers between
the ages of 15 and 20 years old was $40.8 billion,
according to the National Highway Traffic Safety
Administration (NHTSA).
Among licensed drivers, young people between the
ages of 15 and 20 years old have the highest rate of
fatal crashes relative to other age groups,
including the elderly. In fact, the risk of being
involved in a fatal crash for teens is three times
greater than for drivers age 65 to 69.
Immaturity and lack of driving experience are the
two main factors leading to the high crash rate
among teens.
Graduated licensing laws, which include
a three-phase program that allows teen drivers to
develop mature driving attitudes and gain experience
behind the wheel, have been successful in reducing
teen motor vehicle accidents.
RECENT DEVELOPMENTS
Crash Facts: The National Highway Traffic
Safety Administration (NHTSA) reports that 3,620
drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 died in motor
vehicle crashes in 2004, up 5.0 percent from 3,449
in 2003. Twenty-four percent of the young drivers
killed had BACs (blood-alcohol content) levels of
0.08 or higher.
A 2005 survey sheds light on young drivers' risky
behaviors behind the wheel. More than half (56
percent) of young drivers use phone while driving,
according to an Allstate Foundation survey conducted
between March and July 2005.
These results are from
a national online survey of 1,000 people between the
ages of 15 and 17 and focus group discussions.
Sixty-nine percent said that they speed to keep up
with traffic and 64 percent said they speed to go
through a yellow light.
Forty-seven percent said
that passengers sometimes distract them and just
about half of them believed that most crashes that
involve teens result from drunk driving.
Graduated Drivers Licenses: Some people
question whether 16-year olds should be allowed to
get a drivers license.
This issue has gained some
attention from a 2005 National Institute of Mental
Health report that shows the part of the brain that
weighs risks, makes judgments and controls impulsive
behavior develops throughout the teen years and
does
not mature until around age 25.
Graduated drivers license (GDL) programs are
helping to reduce teen driving deaths. States
began enacting GDL laws in the 1990s. The graduated
license program is a three-stage license phase-in
process that allows young drivers to gain experience
before receiving a full-privilege license, see
Background. Latest data from NHTSA show that the
fatality rate for 16 to 20 year old vehicle
occupants in motor vehicle crashes per 100,000
population was 27.07 in 2004, down from 27.67 in
2003 and 30.46 in 1994. The 2004 rate was the
lowest
since record keeping began in 1975.
A study released in July 2006 found that GDL
programs can reduce the incidence of fatal crashes
for 16-year old drivers by an average of 11 percent.
Researchers from the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School
of Public Health found that when states had
comprehensive GDL programs, those with a least five
of the most important elements in effect, there was
a 20 percent reduction in fatal crashes involving
16-year old drivers. These elements were:
- A minimum age of 15 1/2 for obtaining a learners
permit
- A minimum of 30 hours of supervised driving
- A restriction on carrying passengers
- A waiting period after obtaining a learners
permit of at least three months before applying for
an intermediate license
- Minimum age of at least 16 years for obtaining
an intermediate license
- Minimum age of at least 17 years for full
licensing
The study was supported by NHTSA and the Centers
for
Disease Control and Prevention. Researchers used
data from 1994-2004 from NHTSA’s Fatality Analysis
Reporting System and examined fatal crash data in 36
states that had GDL programs and in seven states
that did not. They found that in states that had six
or seven components, the fatal crash reduction was
21 percent.
One key feature of GDL programs is the passenger
restriction which limits the number of passengers a
teen driver may have in the vehicle to eliminate
distractions. Thirty-four states have enacted these
laws with various provisions regarding the ages of
passengers and the number a teen driver may
transport.
According to a 2005 study, when teens
drive other teens, they tend to drive faster than
other motorists and leave less distance between
their vehicles and the vehicles in front of them.
They speed more frequently when there are other
teens in vehicles, especially males. These findings
by researchers at the National Institutes of Health
and Westat were compiled from data collected at 13
sites on roads in the Washington, D.C. area, where
over 3,000 passenger vehicles were observed,
including 471 driven by teenagers.
One key feature of GDL programs is the passenger
restriction which limits the number of passengers a
teen driver may have in the vehicle to eliminate
distractions.
Fatality and injury crash rates for 16-year-old
drivers were 20 percent lower in a state with
nighttime and passenger restrictions than in a
comparison jurisdiction that lacked these provisions
for safer teen driving, according to a study
released in June 2006 by the AAA Foundation for
Traffic Safety. For the study, the Traffic Injury
Research Foundation (TIRF) compared crash rates and
crash patterns of teenage drivers in one
jurisdiction with nighttime and passenger
restrictions during the intermediate stage of GDL
with those in another jurisdiction whose GDL program
did not include such restrictions.
TIRF also
surveyed a random sample of 500 crash-free and 500
crash-involved, newly licensed teens and their
parents in each of two jurisdictions. The study
found that twice as many crash-free teens reported
never having violated their state’s passenger
restriction provision, compared with teens that had
crashed.
MADD
and DaimlerChrysler Photo Exhibit to be on Display
in Nashville Depicting Lives Changed Forever by
Underage Drinking and Driving
Teens
Nationwide Take On No. 1 Killer at Keep the Drive
U.S.A.
(*)Source: National Safety Council.
Next Month: Safety experts say that using
cell phones while driving is a major distraction and
is a factor in crashes.
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Parenting Tips For Teen Parties
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One-third of teens and nearly half of 17-year olds attend house parties where parents are present and teens are drinking, smoking marijuana or using cocaine, Ecstasy or prescription drugs, according to the National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse XI: Teens and Parents, an annual back-to-school survey conducted by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University.
Develop a Strong Bond:
Talk with your teen about parties, peer
relationships, drugs and alcohol. Find the right
time to connect. Let your teen know where you stand
on the issues, but don’t lecture. Use “teachable
moments” that are quick chats in passing –not
lectures or long-winded discussions. The key to
being a good parent is being a good listener. Ask
your kids regularly what they think and how they
feel about their social life. Work on building a
trusting relationship with your teen and maintaining
open dialogues.
Educate yourself:
Find out what kind of alcohol and drugs are
available to teens.
Find out where they can get
alcohol and drugs. Learn about the physical and
psychological effects of drugs and alcohol and share
this information with your teen. Also, some teens
may use substances to self-medicate because of an
underlying mood/anxiety disorder. If you are at all
concerned about this possibility, have your teen
assessed by your family doctor and/or ask for a
mental health referral.
Get Involved:
Participate in your teen’s school. Go to their
school activities and find out what their interests
are. Know your teen so that you are able to
recognize changes in their behavior. Changes in
behavior may indicate serious problems.
Set a Good Example:
Don’t drink and drive!
Consider signing a contract
that you and your teen each sign, promising never to
drive if you are under the influence of drugs and/or
alcohol. (See Mothers Against Drunk Driving web
site, www.madd.org)
Socialize with your own friends
and family without using alcohol so that your teen
can see that having fun does not require the use of
alcohol.
Be Available:
Promise to pick up your teen if they need a ride
home or feel they are in an unsafe situation. You
can set up a password that only you and your teen
understand so they can ask you for help without
being embarrassed in front of their peers.
Consider opening a taxi account for your teen.
Know Your Teen’s Peers:
Make sure you can connect with your teen at all
times.
Ask for and keep a list of your teen’s close
friends including: full names, addresses and
telephone numbers. Build links with other parents;
exchange phone numbers. When parents don’t know
each
other, they become powerless.
Connect with your Teen’s High School:
Call your teen’s school if you are concerned about
an upcoming event. Schools can help. They can also
link parents with each other. Be involved with your
teen’s school by participating as a chaperone at
school dances, volunteering your time at school
events, etc. Local schools can be key to building
safe communities for families and youth.
Advocate on Behalf of Teens:
Teens tend to feel “everyone is against them” and
“no one understands”. Teens need to have places to
meet and “hang together”. Also, an important aspect
to being a teen is developing social skills. Parents
can advocate for more school dances, keeping school
gyms open after school hours, and providing
basketball hoops. Parents can talk with local
churches and community centers and other
organizations that can provide places for teens to
go. Support local youth organizations.
Connect with your Neighbors:
Build relationships with your neighbors. Offer to
keep an eye on homes when parents of teens in the
neighborhood are away.
Ask neighbors to keep an eye
on your home when you are away.
Call the police when you see a party spilling out
onto the street and seemingly out of control.
Know your Legal Responsibilities and
Liabilities:
- If you are sued, the law may hold you
responsible for the safety and behavior of your
guests for the entire time period until they’re
sober, not just until they leave your party or
premises.Liability doesn’t just rest with the
individuals who provide the alcohol -the organizers
and host- but also includes anyone with control over
the location where the problem occurred and sponsors
to the event.
- You are responsible for what happens to your
guests when they are in your home or on your
property.
- You are responsible for your guests at a
function you organize, like house parties, street
parties, bush parties, formal or semi-formal
dances.
- You can be held responsible for injuries or
damages that occur as a result of the alcohol that
you provide.
Develop a Family Policy:
Consider developing a family policy with your teen,
regarding parties. The policy should clearly state
your family rules concerning alcohol and other drug
use. Set limits on teen parties on family property.
Include: who can come, transportation, supervision,
use of alcohol etc.
When your teen is going out to a party, ask if the
party will be chaperoned by parents and/or adults.
Use this opportunity to discuss “what is a safe
party”.
Study
says parents are clueless about teen parties
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For Teens, Gambling Can Be Bad Bet
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Compulsive teen gamblers often are hard to spot, at least early on.
Part One in this Series
It seemed innocent enough: A bunch of
adolescents
pitching quarters on a basketball court in a North
Jersey suburb.
Ray was 9 years old when he started retrieving the
quarters for the bigger kids.
"One day, a guy won a
lot of money. He won $50 pitching quarters, and I
thought that was like winning a million," he recalls
today.
"I thought if you made money, hit it big,
people would like you."
Soon, he started pitching and had his first losing
streak -- he owed his brother $10 and had no way to
pay him back.
"I stole it from my sister's piggy
bank," says Ray, who asked that his full name not be
used. "Here I was embezzling. A 9-year-old
embezzler."
By the time Ray was a freshman in high school, he
was organizing betting pools on football and
cheating so that he or a friend would win.
As he
grew older, he got hooked on cards, sports pools,
the lottery, even stock and options trading. And he
was visiting casinos and the racetrack.
Now 33, Ray is in Gamblers Anonymous, split from the
woman he loved, and trying to put his life back
together.
When one pictures a compulsive gambler, the images
that come to mind may be the grandmother hooked on
slots, or an older man in a windbreaker at the
track. But the real face of the problem bettor may
more often be a younger one -- more like Ray's. In
fact, teens may experience gambling problems at a
rate higher than adults.
Jeff Derevensky, MD, a professor of child psychology
and a psychiatrist at McGill University in Montreal,
and a leading researcher, estimates that as many as
4% to 8% of young people have a gambling problem,
compared to 1% to 2% of adults. He says 80% of kids
gamble at least once a year.
And with the rapid growth of gaming sites on the
Internet, doctors who study and treat compulsive
gamblers are worried that it is becoming even easier
for young people to get hooked.
"Most parents are shocked when they hear me speak
or
read my articles, because they never view kids as
getting involved in this," Derevensky tells WebMD.
Derevensky and other researchers say teens are
prone
to problems because they are by nature risk-takers,
and because young people suffering from low
self-esteem or depression are at greater risk for
trouble.
However, compulsive teen gamblers often are hard to
spot, at least early on.
Unlike alcoholics or drug
abusers, young gamblers often are athletic,
outgoing, and good students -- "the kind of traits
you want your kids to have," says Ed Loomey,
director of the Council on Compulsive Gambling of
New Jersey. As their problems worsen, studies show,
their schoolwork deteriorates, their relationships
weaken, and they may begin to lie or steal. All of
this starts earlier, and seemingly more innocently,
than one might think.
For example, the National Council on Problem
Gambling cites a study of British adolescents that
found the mean age that young problem gamblers
started gambling was 8.3 years for boys and 8.9
years for girls. Another survey, the group says,
found that nearly half of such gamblers started
before they were 10 years old.
Loomey says kids learn about gambling every time
there's a scratch-off card at McDonald's, or a prize
under bottle cap liners for Pepsi.
"The whole
society we live in is gambling oriented," he says.
What's more, options for gambling have increased
exponentially, as more and more states open casinos,
create lotteries, or allow legal betting on sports.
"This is the first generation of kids to grow up
where gambling is not only legal, but state
supported and endorsed," says Derevensky. "It used
to be just Las Vegas and illegal bookmaking, but now
with lotteries in most states and casinos in [many]
states, parents view gambling as a glamorous
activity." Sometimes, he notes, parents even give
their children lottery tickets as Christmas stocking
stuffers.
The bigger problems typically start in high school,
when kids not only buy lottery tickets illegally --
the legal age in most states is 18 -- but get
involved in sports betting. Some go to racetracks or
even casinos. Recently, Loomey says, Caesars
Atlantic City casino was fined $85,000 for allowing
minors at the blackjack tables.
Next month - "Kids have penetrated every
form of
social, legalized, and illegal gambling that's
available where they live or where they travel,"
says Durand F. Jacobs, Ph.D., a clinical professor of
psychology at Loma Linda University Medical Center
in Southern California and an early researcher into
teen gambling.
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Confident Living is Changing its Name - to Vive!
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We have had a lot of fun with our name change contest and appreciate the enthusiastic participation from so many of you.
The Vive! program addresses the needs of young
people who have struggled emotionally or
behaviorally, addressing these struggles in the
context of the young person's real world and family
system.
Vive!'s team of professional therapists delivers a
powerful combination of mentoring, therapy, and
parent coaching directly to you and your teen right
where you live, work, play, and go to school. The
result is an effective, sustainable, reality-based
solution for the whole family.
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For many people, the divorce of their parents marks a turning point in their lives
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~ whether the divorce happened many years ago or is taking place right now
Part One of Two in this Series
About half the marriages in the United States today
end in divorce, so adolescents of divorce are
certainly not alone. It may seem hard, but it is
possible to cope with divorce - and have a happy
family life in spite of some changes divorce may
bring. After all, couples divorce one another, not
their kids.
There are many reasons why parents divorce. They
may
include serious problems like abuse or alcoholism,
but often couples divorce because they can no longer
live together in harmony.
One parent may have
changed in some ways, and the other could not
adapt.
Some couples may have simply drifted apart over
time. Others find that they no longer love each
other as they once did. It's common for teens to
think that their parents' divorce is somehow their
fault, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Some teens may wonder if they could have helped to
prevent the split. Others may wish they had
prevented arguments by cooperating more within the
family. But separation and divorce are a result of a
couple's problems with each other, not with their
kids. The decisions adults make about divorce are
their own. When parents are divorcing, adolescents
may experience a variety of feelings, and their
emotions may change frequently, too. They may feel
angry, sad or upset. They might feel protective of
one parent or blame one for the situation.
They may
feel abandoned, afraid, guilty or worried. They may
also feel relieved. These feelings are normal and
talking about them with a trusted friend or adult
can help. There's no doubt that a parents' divorce
will affect your adolescents daily life.
Depending
on your particular situation, they may have to
adjust to many changes. These could include things
like changing schools and moving, spending time with
both parents separately, and dealing with some
parents' unpleasant feelings toward one another.
Issues of money may change for parents, too. A
parent who didn't work during the marriage may need
to find a job to pay for the mortgage or rent. There
are expenses associated with divorce, from lawyers'
fees to the cost of moving to a new place to live.
Your family may not be able to afford all the things
you were used to before the divorce. Some teens
have
to travel between parents, and that may pose
problems both practically and socially. There may be
some hassles, but with time you can create a new
routine that works. Parents may go to court to
determine custody arrangements. Your adolescent
may
end up living with one parent most of the time and
visiting the other, or as parents you may split your
time with your children evenly.
Often, it takes a
while for custody arrangements to be finalized.
This
can give people time to adapt to these big changes
and for families to figure out together what works
best.
What Parents and Teens Can Do to Make Divorce
Easier
Keep the peace. Dealing with divorce is
easiest when parents get along. Teens find it
especially hard when their parents argue and fight
or act with bitterness toward each other.
Adolescents can't
do much to influence how their parents behave during
a divorce, but they can ask them to do their best to
call a truce to any bickering or unkind things they
might be saying about each other. No matter what
problems a couple may have faced, as parents they
need to handle visiting arrangements peacefully to
minimize the stress their kids may feel.
Be fair. Most teens say it's important that
parents don't try to get them to "take sides." You
need to feel free to relate to one parent without
the other parent acting jealous, hurt, or mad.
It's
unfair for anyone to feel that relating to one
parent is being disloyal to the other or that the
burden of one parent's happiness is on your shoulders.
When parents find it hard to let go of bitterness or
anger, or if they are depressed about the changes
brought on by divorce, they can find help from a
counselor or therapist who specializes in working
with people who are dealing with divorce. This can
help parents to get past the pain divorce may have
created, to find personal happiness, and to lift any
burdens from their kids.
Next Month: Keep in touch. Going back and
forth between two homes can be tough, especially if
parents live far apart.
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Combat Truancy
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The Problem of Truancy - Part One of Two in this Series
Truancy is the first sign of trouble; the first
indicator that a young person is giving up and
losing her or his way. When young people start
skipping school, they are telling their parents,
school officials and the community at large that
they are in trouble and need help if they are to
keep moving forward in life.
Research data tells us that students who become
truant and eventually drop out of school put
themselves at a long term disadvantage in becoming
productive citizens. High school dropouts, for
example, are two and a half times more likely to be
on welfare than high school graduates. High school
dropouts are almost twice as likely to be unemployed
as high school graduates. In addition, high school
dropouts who are employed earn much lower salaries.
Students who become truant and eventually drop out
of high school too often set themselves up for a
life of struggle.
Truancy is a gateway to crime. High rates of truancy
are linked to high daytime burglary rates and high
vandalism. According to the Los Angeles County
Office of Education, truancy is the most powerful
predictor of juvenile delinquent behavior.
"I've
never seen a gang member who wasn't a truant first,"
says California District Attorney Kim Menninger
(July 1996).
Truancy prevention efforts need to be a
part of any community policing effort to prevent
crime before it happens.
- During a recent sample period in Miami more than
71 percent of 13 to 16 year-olds prosecuted for
criminal violations had been truant.
- In Minneapolis, daytime crime dropped 68 percent
after police began citing truant students.
- In San Diego, 44 percent of violent juvenile
crime occurs between 8:30 a.m. . and 1:30 p.m.
While no national data on the extent of truancy
exists, we know that in some cities unexcused
absences can number in the thousands each day. In
Pittsburgh, for example, each day approximately
3,500 students or 12 percent of the pupil population
is absent and about 70 percent of these absences are
unexcused. In Philadelphia, approximately 2,500
students a day are absent without an excuse. In
Milwaukee, on any given school day, there are
approximately 4,000 unexcused absences.
Combating truancy is one of the first ways that a
community can reach out quickly to a disaffected
young person and help families that may be
struggling with a rebellious teenager. This article
seeks to offer parents, school officials, law
enforcement agencies and communities a set of
principles to design their own strategies to combat
truancy and describes successful models of how
anti-truancy initiatives are working in communities
across the nation.
Deterring Truancy
Each school and each community need to decide
which
steps to take to reduce truancy. These decisions
need to be made with the active involvement of
parents, educators, law enforcement personnel,
juvenile and family court judges, and
representatives from social service, community, and
religious organizations.
The communities that have had the most success in
deterring truancy not only have focused on improving
procedures -- such as those that accurately track
student attendance -- but each also has implemented
a comprehensive strategy that focuses on incentive s
and sanctions for truants and their parents.
There
are five primary elements of a comprehensive
community and educational strategy to combat
truancy.
1. Create meaningful incentives for parental
responsibility
It is critical that parents of truant adolescents
assume responsibility for truant behavior. It is up
to each community to determine the best way to
create meaningful incentives for such parents to
ensure that their adolescent goes to school. In some
states, parents of truant adolescents are asked to
participate in parenting education programs. Some
other states, such as Maryland and Oklahoma, have
determined that parents who fail to prevent truancy
can be subject to formal sanction or lose
eligibility for certain public assistance.
Communities can also provide positive incentives for
responsible parents who ensure their adolescent's
regular school attendance. Such incentives can
include increased eligibility to participate in
publicly funded programs. Local officials, educators
and parents, working together, can make a shared
commitment to assume responsibility for reducing
truancy -- and can choose the incentives that make
the most sense for their community.
2. Ensure that students face firm sanctions
for truancy
School districts need to communicate to their
students that they have zero tolerance for truancy.
State legislatures have found that linking truancy
to such items as a student's grades or driver's
license can help reduce the problem.
Delaware,
Connecticut, and several other states have daytime
curfews during school hours that allow law
enforcement officers to question youth to determine
if their absence is legitimate. In a few states,
including New York, a student with a certain number
of unexcused absences can be failed in his or her
courses.
A Wisconsin judge may, among other options,
order a truant to attend counseling or to attend an
education program designed for him or her.
3. Establish ongoing truancy prevention
programs in school
Truancy can be caused by or related to such factors
as student drug use, violence at or near school,
association with truant friends, lack of family
support for regular attendance, emotional or mental
health problems, lack of a clear path to more
education or work, or inability to keep pace with
academic requirements. Schools need to address the
unique needs of each adolescent and consider
developing initiatives to combat the root causes of
truancy, including tutoring programs, added security
measures, drug prevention initiatives, mentorship
efforts through community and religious groups,
campaigns for involving parents in their
adolescent's school attendance, and referrals to
social service agencies.
Schools need to also find new ways to engage their
students in learning, including such hands-on
options as career academies, school-to-work
opportunities, and community service. They need to
enlist the support of local business and community
leaders to determine the best way to prevent and
reduce truancy. For example, business and community
leaders may lend support by volunteering space to
house temporary detention centers, establishing
community service projects that lead to after school
or weekend jobs, or developing software to track
truants.
4.Involve local law enforcement in truancy
reduction efforts
In order to enforce school attendance policies,
school officials need to establish close linkages
with local police, probation officers, and juvenile
and family court officials.
Police Departments
report favorably on community-run temporary
detention centers where they can drop off truant
youth rather than bring them to local police
stations for time-consuming processing. When part of
a comprehensive anti-truancy initiative, police
sweeps of neighborhoods in which truant youth are
often found can prove dramatically effective.
5. Involve parents in all truancy prevention
activities
Parents play the fundamental role in the education
of their children. This applies to every family
regardless of the parents' station in life, their
income, or their educational background.
Nobody else
commands greater influence in getting a young person
to go to school every day and recognizing how a good
education can define her or his future.
For families and schools to work together to solve
problems like truancy, there must be mutual trust
and communication. Many truancy programs contain
components which provide intensive monitoring,
counseling and other family-strengthening services
to truants and their families.
Schools can help by
being "family-friendly" and encouraging teachers and
parents to make regular contact before problems
arise. Schools may want to consider arranging
convenient times and neutral settings for parent
meetings, starting homework hotlines, training
teachers to work with parents, hiring or appointing
a parent liaison, and giving parents a voice in
school decisions.
Next Month: Each community needs to
determine
how it will reduce and deter truancy. Next month we
will share descriptions of truancy programs being
used in communities around the country which employ
some or all of the elements described above. We have
received information from:
- Milwaukee, Wisconsin
- Rohnert Park, California
- New Haven, Connecticut
- Atlantic County, New Jersey
- Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
- Norfolk, Virginia
- Marion, Ohio
- Peoria, Arizona
- Bakersfield, California
If you have a Model Truancy Reduction Initiative and
would like to share your information with our
readers in December, please email
Dore@Dorefrances.com
before November 17, 2006.
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CONTEST!
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This one is simple!!
Can you write a monthly theme for our 2007
newsletter?
If so, send it our way. The best monthly
theme for 2007 (must contain one for each month of
the year) wins a cash prize of $100 or a
beautiful gift basket from Harry & David of the same
value.
Rules: Themes must adhere to the nature of this
newsletter and involve one topic per theme per
month.
Example: Theme - Adolescent Escort Services -
Article idea - Escorting your teen can be a difficult
decision. Send your entry to
Dore@Dorefrances.com. It must be sent in the
body of an email, with the header "Theme Contest".
One entry per person, the last day to submit is
December 11, 2006.
Contest open to everyone except me, because that
just wouldn't be very fair, would it? Get writing!
Also, since I want to reward people who read this
entire newsletter, the first ten people who email me
will get ~ well, you will see. Make sure I have your
mailing address.
You're special. Never forget that.
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