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Horizon Family Solutions NEWS & VIEWS November 2006
Enhancing the Lives of Families by Delivering Quality Services in a Cost Effective Way
November 2006
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Happy Thanksgiving!

Thank you for taking time to read this newsletter ~

Fall is here and Winter is close by. We know you are busy getting kids off to school, preparing for the holidays, with work and many other commitments.

We would like to thank you for taking the time to read our November edition of Horizon Family Solutions News and Views.

This monthly publication, produced by Horizon Family Solutions, LLC, is distributed to people in many different communities all across the U.S., Canada and abroad. The intention of each newsletter is to bring you information on many different subjects of which you have expressed interest, to inform you about ongoing or new programs and services available to families and to help you get to know us a little better. In this issue, we felt it important to highlight several topics that we have been asked about over and over again during this year by parents and those working with adolescents and young adults. We also want to direct you to resources in case you would like additional information. The next newsletter will be out via email the first week in December. Please send any concerns, comments, questions or suggestions you may have about this newsletter and story ideas to dore@dorefrances.com. We are gearing up for new article ideas for the coming year so all suggestions are welcomed.

Enjoy this issue as well as your fall and winter season of holidays.

Sincerely,
Dore E. Frances
Founder, Horizon Family Solutions, LLC

Ask Kate
 
Can you believe that his column has been running for a year now?!

Throughout the year I have received a lot of really wonderful questions, and together we have covered some really important issues relating to children and mental health.

This edition will acknowledge all of your participation in this section of the newsletter and I will explain why this unfortunately will be the last edition of “Ask Kate”. You may recall when the column began I had mentioned that in addition to my work in the field of mental health, I am also a full time student in graduate school.

It seems like ALL of my time has been spent either studying, working, or writing!

While I really enjoy everything I am doing, I have begun to realize that I really need to focus on my education and doing research for my dissertation. I’m sure that all of you busy parents can relate to feeling like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done, so I hope you can understand my need to prioritize at this time. I would like to congratulate all of you who are able to balance work, family, and extracurricular activities in your lives, and will use your experiences to motivate me in my endeavors. If you have any suggestions or advice for me as I embark on earning my Ph.D. please feel free to write in with your ideas. I have truly appreciated all of your questions and participation. Again I would like to thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me and with each other for the past year. You may contact me at: kbuxbaum@gmail. com.

Horizon Family Solutions would like to thank Kate for all her great advice to many parents this last year. She has been a source of inspiration to many families. I can only say that she will be missed and we all look forward to hearing from her again sometime in the future. All the best to you Kate!


Dr Keith Ablow Show Looking For Families Battling Teen Anger
 
Are you and your teen battling anger issues?

Are you and your teen battling anger issues? Is your teenager dating someone who has a bad temper?

Is your teen's rage affecting your family? Let Dr. Keith help you.

"The Dr. Keith Ablow Show," a new daytime program produced by Warner Brothers Television, premiered in September.

Dr. Keith Ablow is an acclaimed psychiatrist who has made numerous appearances on Today, Good Morning America, Larry King and Oprah. Dr. Keith's show will focus on real people, real issues and real solutions. We are currently researching teen anger issues and how those issues affect the teen's relationships with parents and friends. If you or someone you know needs help facing their teen's rage, please consider contacting the show. At this time, we are working with teens 16 and older.

Contact:
Michele Friedman, Associate Producer
212-506-4296


SAVING TEENS IN CRISIS COLLABORATIVE
 
Saving Teens Looks For Needy Families To Help

Thanks to the generosity of private donors and a grant of $100,000 from the federal government, Saving Teens In Crisis Collaborative (STICC) has raised enough money to begin saving teens.

STICC is looking for suitable families, who will be funded through an 18-20 month, long-term recovery program, including wilderness therapy and a therapeutic boarding school. Families will also receive support through the Saving Teens network of parents who have already gone through such a process.

To apply, the teen must be no older than 16 years of age.

Parents or referring parties must contact one of the following Educational Consultants who are working with Saving Teens:

  • Marilyn Engelman—508-870-1515
  • Adam Goldberg—508-320-2700.
  • Leslie Goldberg—781-749-2074
  • Lon Woodbury—208-267-5550


PRISM Parent Development Seminars - What Works, What Doesn't and Why
 
New Parent Seminar Series - If you Always Do What You Have Always Done ~ You Will Always Get What You Have Always Got!

Here is the five part seminar parenting program that many of you requested. It is set up as a five part program and is structured that way so that you may receive the most information at one time without being too overwhelmed.

Part One
Consisting of:

  • The Principles of Effective Parenting
  • What the Heck is Wrong with Kids Today?
This first part provides an overall foundation for the remainder of the seminar series.

Part Two
Consisting of:
  • Let's Focus on One Problem (Challenge) at a Time
  • Problems or Challenges? Challenges, Challenges and More Challenges
  • The Matter at Hand
This second part zeroes in on identifying and eliminating challenging behaviors from your adolescent's life

Part Three
Consisting of:
  • Just What is it We are "Trying" to Do?
  • Rules for Making Rules
  • Consequences, Consequences, Consequences
This third part centers on establishing and maintaining expectations and consequences for your adolescent.

Part Four
Consists of:
  • What Kind of Parent are You? ~ YOU ARE NOT A BAD PARENT!
  • How You Parent Affects Your Adolescent - Absent, Authoritarian, Coercive, Hyper-Responsible, Hypochondriac, Indulgent, Perfectionist, Permissive, Punitive, Rejecting, Neglectful, Submissive
This fourth part focuses on your parenting style and its impact on your daughter or son.

And finally, Part Five
Consisting of:
  • 40 Developmental Assets ~ Major drivers in your adolescent's lives.
  • Assets, Assets, Who Has the Assets?
  • Where Do We Go from Here?
This last part wraps up a look at building the developmental assets in your daughter or son's life.

Each parent receives a handbook and when registering we will make certain that this series is applicable to you. I mean, how many times have you picked up a book, based on the cover, and then gotten home only to realize that it does not really apply to you. The parenting strategies and tactics presented at this five part series seminar are intended to be for parents of adolescents who are particularly challenging. In order to convince us that this seminar series fits your needs, we ask that you review these very basic scenarios:

  1. It's a few minutes after 1am on Saturday. Your daughter has just walked in the door. You immediately know two things. First, she is over an hour past her curfew. And second, it is apparent that she has either been drinking or using drugs. The reek of marijuana is undeniable.
  2. You are at work and your cell phone rings. Glancing at the clock, you have a pretty good guess who is calling. It is about 8:45am. The time that the school usually calls to find out why your son is not in school. You hesitate for a moment, wondering if you should bother to answer. The school year is only a little over a month old and you are already on a first name basis with the principle and school counselor.
  3. You are out at the mall with your daughter shopping for clothes. You had not planned on going to the Mall, but when she got home from school, she started in on you. After about an hour you realized that if you were going to get any semblance of peace this evening, you had to make the time to take her shopping. Once you entered the mall, you found yourself almost running to keep up with her. It is almost like you are not even there ~ until it comes time to pay for her selections.
  4. You find yourself in the lobby of the local Juvenile Court waiting to go before a Judge with your son. He isn't with you. He is still down in Detention where they took him last night after he was picked up. They will bring him up when they start doing the Detention Hearings. Sitting there, you don't know if you can go through this again. You son is only thirteen, yet you must have been in this exact same position at least nine or ten times before.
Sound familiar? If I still have your interest, this parent seminar series is for you. We will keep you updated on dates, locations, times and hope to see you soon!


KIDS IN CYBERSPACE
 
Part One in this Series

The Internet is a wonderful tool for communications, education or leisure.

It is a library with an incredible 100 million books on every topic known, easily accessible for research and study.

It gives you the ability to chat in real time to anyone, anywhere across the world. Its high speed electronic mail routes link up the entire world into a true global village. Its an exciting and essential resource for all our adolescents - as essential as learning to do Math, read and write. But there are some risks to our adolescents when they are using the Internet, risks which parents need to be aware of. Internet technology is a tool. A tool can be used or abused. This series of articles will explain to you the abuses that can and do occur. The Internet is not only a window through which our adolescents can see the whole world of experience and knowledge; it is also a door through which other people can enter to communicate and reach out and into our homes as well. It must therefore be used carefully and wisely. As you read this series of articles if you decide that the Internet is too dangerous a tool to have in your house, and you decide to prevent your adolescent from using it, then this information will have failed in its purpose. It is not my intention here to scare you, only to bring to your attention issues that you may not have considered before. No one can harm your adolescent through the Internet unless they choose to open the door, make elementary safety errors, or are too naive and trusting of strangers. As long as your kids are careful and safety conscious, the Internet can be used in the home with positive results. We hope you will use the information contained in this series of articles to help make your adolescent's time online a valuable experience.

We owe it to our kids to teach them about how to use technology safely. Our teens and the Internet are the future.

RISKS

Child Predators
The live chat networks are the main areas of the Internet where sexual predators cruise searching for vulnerable adolescents.

A number of unique factors of the Internet facilitate the predators' search. Due to the relative degree of anonymity online predators are able to deceive adolescents. They may lie about their age or gender. Online predators often establish intimate relationships with adolescents under the pretense of being part of their peer group. Since age identification is impossible, kids need to be careful when chatting online with who they think is part of their peer group. Adolescents are curious and trusting.

Unless they are well prepared for what can happen in live chat, they may innocently believe what they are told online by strangers. Predators target adolescents online who appear to have low self-esteem, lack parental supervision and are lonely. It is not uncommon for a pedophile to become the online "confidant" of a lonely adolescent, and they will often teach the teen how to keep the online friendship a secret from their parents. Online, just as offline, it is the adolescent who is left alone who is most at risk. Adolescents who have been abused, lured or seduced online in real-time chat generally have parents who are not Internet experienced. Therefore if your adolescent is online then you must aim to be actively involved in what they are doing.

Advice regarding child predators
Position your computer in your main living area (in a public place) and make sure the monitor is facing outwards INTO the room (never have the monitor facing the wall - it creates a secret space). This is the number ONE safety measure you can take and it costs nothing. Never allow your adolescent to have the computer in the privacy and secrecy of their bedroom.

Understand that you and your kids need to work as a team in cyberspace. This means discussing the rules and boundaries for behavior, and sharing what's going on online. Educate your kids realistically about the Internet and the possibility of sexual predators. Remember that if the adolescent does not learn about online predators from you, then they may learn about it from the predators themselves when it happens to them. This means that you need to educate yourself too. Make it clear that if something happens that is not the adolescent's fault and if the teen tells you, then you will not blame or punish them, nor will you ban the Internet from the house. Only in this way will you be able to create the atmosphere of trust where your adolescent feels able to tell you what's going on online. Require your kids to share information about their online friends with you. For younger children you need to consider parental monitoring of your child's email. Understand that as kids approach adolescence they may well deliberately seek out adult conversations or encounters with older teens in order to explore the "adult" world of sexuality.

Learn to recognize the warning signs of a child possibly involved sexually online with an adult in an exploitative relationship.

Signs may include hostility to parents, a cutting off from "offline" friends and activities, signs of Internet addiction, secrecy about the Internet and a preference for being alone with the computer.

Consider not allowing your younger child to roam cyberspace alone. Most parents do not allow their kids to roam around the city streets on their own. Most parents usually require their children to be with an adult or a buddy. This rule can also be applied effectively to the Internet. Your young child can be online with you sitting next to them assisting. For older adolescents you might require the teen to have a friend sitting with them so that they are exploring the Internet together rather than alone.

Remember that predators need privacy and secrecy to work on luring your adolescent.

Easy Access To Pornography And Child Pornography
The World Wide Web does not come pre-screened and selected for your adolescents. The decisions about what kinds of material adolescents can access is currently in the hands of parents and teachers and will most probably remain so. Currently kids online have easy access to adult pornographic discussions and adult material (including pornography) as well as obscene images and child pornography. It is possible for an adolescent to be exposed to this material without wishing to be. It is also true that many teens will actively seek out such material or discussions online as part of their exploration of and an interest in the "adult" world.

Pornography addiction by some young teens as a result of saturation access online is a reality facing some parents today.

It is important to become fully aware of what is available to adolescents on the World Wide Web. You can then define boundaries clearly for your kids online about what is and is not acceptable to you. This means that you need to go and explore the World Wide Web for yourself and see what is available.

Advice Regarding Pornography And Child Pornography
Define boundaries to your kids and set fair consequences when boundaries are crossed. Make informed decisions about what is age appropriate content online.

Install and use parental control/filtering software, or sign on with an Internet Service Provider that provides the World Wide Web already screened so that most obscene material is removed. Remember, no technology is foolproof, and filtering software is no substitute for active parental involvement.

Learn more about the effects on children of early exposure to graphic depictions of hard-core pornography. Consider the opinions expressed by V ICTOR B. CLINE, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Salt Lake City, Utah or Porn everywhere, what's a child to think? by Adele Horin. Remember, as long as your kids are the only computer users in the household, you will never know what they are doing on the Internet.

Next month ~ Internet Gangs ~ Anti-social behavior is encouraged, learned and rewarded.


Santiam Crossing School Celebrating
 
Now entering its third year

Santiam Crossing School is celebrating.

This year alone the school has had some noteworthy milestones: 28 students completed the program, 5 students met the requirements to graduate from their hometown high school, 7 students completed their GED, 4 students completed more than a full year of academics in nine months, and the remainder successfully transitioned to other academic settings.

Santiam also received provisional accreditation from the Northwest Association of Accredited Schools (NAAS). To learn more about Santiam Crossing call Sarah Mack at (800) 390-3983 or visit our website.


goodparents, inc
 
I am excited to introduce our new web site along with a special introductory offer.

Based on feedback from parents just like you, we have developed a site, www.goodparentsinc.com, providing more than 5 times the content and MORE FREE content than on our previous site. And, now it’s even easier to find the valuable information you need for your teens and family. With the introduction of this new site, we are providing premium content to subscribers at a nominal fee. As a longtime goodparents supporter, we are offering you a special membership for just $29.99 per year.

That’s only $2.49 per month (50% off our regular monthly rate).

For less than the price of a cup of coffee, you’ll receive a 20% discount on goodparents’ products and programs, 10% off our new coaching services and preferred rates for our speaker presentations at your school or organization. Don’t forget to use the promotion code when you subscribe: INTRODISCOUNT .

This offer is only available for a limited time. Please share the promotion code with other goodparents you know and help us help children thrive and succeed.


These days, drugs can be found everywhere, and it may seem like everyone's doing them.
 
Part One in this Series

Overdose death leads to Muncie teen's arrest

Adam died on February 17, 2003 from a drug overdose.

Teen Sentenced To Probation In Friend's Overdose Death

Many teens are tempted by the excitement or escape that drugs seem to offer.

The Deal on Substances
Thanks to medical and drug research, there are thousands of drugs that help people. Antibiotics and vaccines have revolutionized the treatment of infections. There are medicines to lower blood pressure, treat diabetes, and reduce the body's rejection of new organs.

Medicines can cure, slow, or prevent disease, helping us to lead healthier and happier lives. But there are also lots of illegal, harmful drugs that people take to help them feel good or have a good time.

How do drugs work?
Drugs are chemicals or substances that change the way our bodies work. When you put them into your body (often by swallowing, inhaling, or injecting them), drugs find their way into your bloodstream and are transported to parts of your body, such as your brain. In the brain, drugs may either intensify or dull your senses, alter your sense of alertness, and sometimes decrease physical pain.

A drug may be helpful or harmful. The effects of drugs can vary depending upon the kind of drug taken, how much is taken, how often it is used, how quickly it gets to the brain, and what other drugs, food, or substances are taken at the same time. Effects can also vary based on the differences in body size, shape, and chemistry. Although substances can feel good at first, they can ultimately do a lot of harm to the body and brain. Drinking alcohol, smoking tobacco, taking illegal drugs, and sniffing glue can all cause serious damage to the human body. Some drugs severely impair a person's ability to make healthy choices and decisions. Teens who drink, for example, are more likely to get involved in dangerous situations, such as driving under the influence or having unprotected sex. And just as there are many kinds of drugs available, there are as many reasons for trying drugs or starting to use drugs regularly.

People take drugs just for the pleasure they believe they can bring.

Often it's because someone tried to convince them that drugs would make them feel good or that they'd have a better time if they took them. Some teens believe drugs will help them think better, be more popular, stay more active, or become better athletes. Others are simply curious and figure one try won't hurt. Others want to fit in.

A few use drugs to gain attention from their parents. Many teens use drugs because they are depressed or think drugs will help them escape their problems. The truth is, drugs don't solve problems.

Drugs simply hide feelings and problems. When a drug wears off, the feelings and problems remain - or become worse. Drugs can ruin every aspect of a person's life.

What are some of the more common drugs?

Alcohol
The oldest and most widely used drug in the world, alcohol is a depressant that alters perceptions, emotions, and senses.
How It's Used:Alcohol is a liquid that is drunk.

Effects & Dangers

  • Alcohol first acts as a stimulant, and then it makes people feel relaxed and a bit sleepy.
  • High doses of alcohol seriously affect a person's judgment and coordination. Drinkers may have slurred speech, confusion, depression, short-term memory loss, and slow reaction times.
  • Large volumes of alcohol drunk in a short period of time may cause alcohol poisoning.

Addictiveness:Teens who use alcohol can become psychologically dependent upon it to feel good, deal with life, or handle stress.

In addition, their bodies may demand more and more to achieve the same kind of high experienced in the beginning. Some teens are also at risk of becoming physically addicted to alcohol. Withdrawal from alcohol can be painful and even life threatening. Symptoms range from shaking, sweating, nausea, anxiety, and depression to hallucinations, fever, and convulsions.

Amphetamines
Amphetamines are stimulants that accelerate functions in the brain and body. They come in pills or tablets. Prescription diet pills also fall into this category of drugs.
Street Names:The most common street names for amphetamines are "speed" and "uppers," but many others have been used over the years. Many of the names come from the appearance of the amphetamine tablets or capsules. Following is a partial list of amphetamines’ street names. The slang used for amphetamines in your area may include some of these terms, and may include totally new terms.

  • Amp, Amped, Oranges, Truck drivers
  • Bennie, Benz, Benzedrine, Black and white, Black Mollies, Blue Mollies, Bumblebees
  • Cartwheels, Co-pilot, Coast to coasts, Crisscross, Cross tops
  • Dexies, Dominoes, Pep pills, Uppers
  • Eye openers, Rippers, Wake ups
  • Footballs, Road dope
  • Hearts, Snap
  • Jelly baby, Jelly bean, Sparkle plenty
  • Leapers, Lid poppers, Lightning, Sweets
  • Marathons, Thrusters
How They're Used: Amphetamines are swallowed, inhaled, or injected.

Effects & Dangers:

  • Prolonged use may cause hallucinations and intense paranoia.
  • Swallowed or snorted, these drugs hit users with a fast high, making them feel powerful, alert, and energized.
  • Uppers pump up heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure, and they can also cause sweating, shaking, headaches, sleeplessness, and blurred vision.
Addictiveness: Amphetamines are psychologically addictive.

Users who stop report that they experience various mood problems such as aggression and anxiety and intense cravings for the drugs.

Next month Part Two will cover Cocaine and Crack as well as Cough and Cold Medicines (DXM).

Updated and reviewed by:
Michele Van Vranken, MD
Adolescent Medicine
Staff Physician, Teenage Medical Services
Medical Director, Annex Teen Clinic and West Suburban Teen Clinic
Children's Physician Network
Minneapolis, MN

This information is brought to you by Horizon Family Solutions, LLC. It is not intended to substitute for medical care. If you suspect you have a health problem, please contact your doctor or local clinic.


Jason William Hunt Foundation
 
Supporting At-Risk Youth Through Outdoor Experiential Education

The Foundation's mission is to perpetuate Jason's spirit and love as exemplified by his work with kids at risk in the outdoor setting.

The Foundation will support Outdoor Experiential Education programs in the form of scholarships for at-risk youth and grants to qualified outdoor instructor / leader training programs. Secondarily, support will be given to those groups protecting and promoting use of the outdoors for personnel development.


Teen Drivers - Part One in this Series
 
Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among 15- to 20-year olds

Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among 15- to 20-year olds.

According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, 3,620 drivers in this group died in car crashes in 2004, accounting for 14 percent of all the drivers involved in fatal crashes and 18 percent of all the drivers involved in police-reported crashes.

Twenty-four percent of the teen drivers killed were intoxicated.

In 2002 (*latest data available) the estimated economic cost of police-reported crashes involving drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 years old was $40.8 billion, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). Among licensed drivers, young people between the ages of 15 and 20 years old have the highest rate of fatal crashes relative to other age groups, including the elderly. In fact, the risk of being involved in a fatal crash for teens is three times greater than for drivers age 65 to 69. Immaturity and lack of driving experience are the two main factors leading to the high crash rate among teens.

Graduated licensing laws, which include a three-phase program that allows teen drivers to develop mature driving attitudes and gain experience behind the wheel, have been successful in reducing teen motor vehicle accidents.

RECENT DEVELOPMENTS

Crash Facts: The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) reports that 3,620 drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 died in motor vehicle crashes in 2004, up 5.0 percent from 3,449 in 2003. Twenty-four percent of the young drivers killed had BACs (blood-alcohol content) levels of 0.08 or higher.

A 2005 survey sheds light on young drivers' risky behaviors behind the wheel. More than half (56 percent) of young drivers use phone while driving, according to an Allstate Foundation survey conducted between March and July 2005.

These results are from a national online survey of 1,000 people between the ages of 15 and 17 and focus group discussions.

Sixty-nine percent said that they speed to keep up with traffic and 64 percent said they speed to go through a yellow light.

Forty-seven percent said that passengers sometimes distract them and just about half of them believed that most crashes that involve teens result from drunk driving.

Graduated Drivers Licenses: Some people question whether 16-year olds should be allowed to get a drivers license.

This issue has gained some attention from a 2005 National Institute of Mental Health report that shows the part of the brain that weighs risks, makes judgments and controls impulsive behavior develops throughout the teen years and does not mature until around age 25.

Graduated drivers license (GDL) programs are helping to reduce teen driving deaths. States began enacting GDL laws in the 1990s. The graduated license program is a three-stage license phase-in process that allows young drivers to gain experience before receiving a full-privilege license, see Background. Latest data from NHTSA show that the fatality rate for 16 to 20 year old vehicle occupants in motor vehicle crashes per 100,000 population was 27.07 in 2004, down from 27.67 in 2003 and 30.46 in 1994. The 2004 rate was the lowest since record keeping began in 1975.

A study released in July 2006 found that GDL programs can reduce the incidence of fatal crashes for 16-year old drivers by an average of 11 percent.

Researchers from the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health found that when states had comprehensive GDL programs, those with a least five of the most important elements in effect, there was a 20 percent reduction in fatal crashes involving 16-year old drivers. These elements were:

  1. A minimum age of 15 1/2 for obtaining a learners permit
  2. A minimum of 30 hours of supervised driving
  3. A restriction on carrying passengers
  4. A waiting period after obtaining a learners permit of at least three months before applying for an intermediate license
  5. Minimum age of at least 16 years for obtaining an intermediate license
  6. Minimum age of at least 17 years for full licensing
The study was supported by NHTSA and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Researchers used data from 1994-2004 from NHTSA’s Fatality Analysis Reporting System and examined fatal crash data in 36 states that had GDL programs and in seven states that did not. They found that in states that had six or seven components, the fatal crash reduction was 21 percent.

One key feature of GDL programs is the passenger restriction which limits the number of passengers a teen driver may have in the vehicle to eliminate distractions. Thirty-four states have enacted these laws with various provisions regarding the ages of passengers and the number a teen driver may transport.

According to a 2005 study, when teens drive other teens, they tend to drive faster than other motorists and leave less distance between their vehicles and the vehicles in front of them.

They speed more frequently when there are other teens in vehicles, especially males. These findings by researchers at the National Institutes of Health and Westat were compiled from data collected at 13 sites on roads in the Washington, D.C. area, where over 3,000 passenger vehicles were observed, including 471 driven by teenagers.

One key feature of GDL programs is the passenger restriction which limits the number of passengers a teen driver may have in the vehicle to eliminate distractions.

Fatality and injury crash rates for 16-year-old drivers were 20 percent lower in a state with nighttime and passenger restrictions than in a comparison jurisdiction that lacked these provisions for safer teen driving, according to a study released in June 2006 by the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety. For the study, the Traffic Injury Research Foundation (TIRF) compared crash rates and crash patterns of teenage drivers in one jurisdiction with nighttime and passenger restrictions during the intermediate stage of GDL with those in another jurisdiction whose GDL program did not include such restrictions.

TIRF also surveyed a random sample of 500 crash-free and 500 crash-involved, newly licensed teens and their parents in each of two jurisdictions. The study found that twice as many crash-free teens reported never having violated their state’s passenger restriction provision, compared with teens that had crashed.

MADD and DaimlerChrysler Photo Exhibit to be on Display in Nashville Depicting Lives Changed Forever by Underage Drinking and Driving

Teens Nationwide Take On No. 1 Killer at Keep the Drive U.S.A.

(*)Source: National Safety Council.

Next Month: Safety experts say that using cell phones while driving is a major distraction and is a factor in crashes.


Parenting Tips For Teen Parties
 
One-third of teens and nearly half of 17-year olds attend house parties where parents are present and teens are drinking, smoking marijuana or using cocaine, Ecstasy or prescription drugs, according to the National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse XI: Teens and Parents, an annual back-to-school survey conducted by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University.

Develop a Strong Bond:
Talk with your teen about parties, peer relationships, drugs and alcohol. Find the right time to connect. Let your teen know where you stand on the issues, but don’t lecture. Use “teachable moments” that are quick chats in passing –not lectures or long-winded discussions. The key to being a good parent is being a good listener. Ask your kids regularly what they think and how they feel about their social life. Work on building a trusting relationship with your teen and maintaining open dialogues.

Educate yourself:
Find out what kind of alcohol and drugs are available to teens.

Find out where they can get alcohol and drugs. Learn about the physical and psychological effects of drugs and alcohol and share this information with your teen. Also, some teens may use substances to self-medicate because of an underlying mood/anxiety disorder. If you are at all concerned about this possibility, have your teen assessed by your family doctor and/or ask for a mental health referral.

Get Involved:
Participate in your teen’s school. Go to their school activities and find out what their interests are. Know your teen so that you are able to recognize changes in their behavior. Changes in behavior may indicate serious problems.

Set a Good Example:
Don’t drink and drive!

Consider signing a contract that you and your teen each sign, promising never to drive if you are under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. (See Mothers Against Drunk Driving web site, www.madd.org) Socialize with your own friends and family without using alcohol so that your teen can see that having fun does not require the use of alcohol.

Be Available:
Promise to pick up your teen if they need a ride home or feel they are in an unsafe situation. You can set up a password that only you and your teen understand so they can ask you for help without being embarrassed in front of their peers.

Consider opening a taxi account for your teen.

Know Your Teen’s Peers:
Make sure you can connect with your teen at all times.

Ask for and keep a list of your teen’s close friends including: full names, addresses and telephone numbers. Build links with other parents; exchange phone numbers. When parents don’t know each other, they become powerless.

Connect with your Teen’s High School:
Call your teen’s school if you are concerned about an upcoming event. Schools can help. They can also link parents with each other. Be involved with your teen’s school by participating as a chaperone at school dances, volunteering your time at school events, etc. Local schools can be key to building safe communities for families and youth.

Advocate on Behalf of Teens:
Teens tend to feel “everyone is against them” and “no one understands”. Teens need to have places to meet and “hang together”. Also, an important aspect to being a teen is developing social skills. Parents can advocate for more school dances, keeping school gyms open after school hours, and providing basketball hoops. Parents can talk with local churches and community centers and other organizations that can provide places for teens to go. Support local youth organizations.

Connect with your Neighbors:
Build relationships with your neighbors. Offer to keep an eye on homes when parents of teens in the neighborhood are away.

Ask neighbors to keep an eye on your home when you are away.

Call the police when you see a party spilling out onto the street and seemingly out of control.

Know your Legal Responsibilities and Liabilities:

  • If you are sued, the law may hold you responsible for the safety and behavior of your guests for the entire time period until they’re sober, not just until they leave your party or premises.Liability doesn’t just rest with the individuals who provide the alcohol -the organizers and host- but also includes anyone with control over the location where the problem occurred and sponsors to the event.
  • You are responsible for what happens to your guests when they are in your home or on your property.
  • You are responsible for your guests at a function you organize, like house parties, street parties, bush parties, formal or semi-formal dances.
  • You can be held responsible for injuries or damages that occur as a result of the alcohol that you provide.
Develop a Family Policy:
Consider developing a family policy with your teen, regarding parties. The policy should clearly state your family rules concerning alcohol and other drug use. Set limits on teen parties on family property. Include: who can come, transportation, supervision, use of alcohol etc. When your teen is going out to a party, ask if the party will be chaperoned by parents and/or adults. Use this opportunity to discuss “what is a safe party”.

Study says parents are clueless about teen parties


For Teens, Gambling Can Be Bad Bet
 
Compulsive teen gamblers often are hard to spot, at least early on.

Part One in this Series

It seemed innocent enough: A bunch of adolescents pitching quarters on a basketball court in a North Jersey suburb. Ray was 9 years old when he started retrieving the quarters for the bigger kids.

"One day, a guy won a lot of money. He won $50 pitching quarters, and I thought that was like winning a million," he recalls today.

"I thought if you made money, hit it big, people would like you."

Soon, he started pitching and had his first losing streak -- he owed his brother $10 and had no way to pay him back.

"I stole it from my sister's piggy bank," says Ray, who asked that his full name not be used. "Here I was embezzling. A 9-year-old embezzler." By the time Ray was a freshman in high school, he was organizing betting pools on football and cheating so that he or a friend would win.

As he grew older, he got hooked on cards, sports pools, the lottery, even stock and options trading. And he was visiting casinos and the racetrack.

Now 33, Ray is in Gamblers Anonymous, split from the woman he loved, and trying to put his life back together. When one pictures a compulsive gambler, the images that come to mind may be the grandmother hooked on slots, or an older man in a windbreaker at the track. But the real face of the problem bettor may more often be a younger one -- more like Ray's. In fact, teens may experience gambling problems at a rate higher than adults. Jeff Derevensky, MD, a professor of child psychology and a psychiatrist at McGill University in Montreal, and a leading researcher, estimates that as many as 4% to 8% of young people have a gambling problem, compared to 1% to 2% of adults. He says 80% of kids gamble at least once a year.

And with the rapid growth of gaming sites on the Internet, doctors who study and treat compulsive gamblers are worried that it is becoming even easier for young people to get hooked.

"Most parents are shocked when they hear me speak or read my articles, because they never view kids as getting involved in this," Derevensky tells WebMD. Derevensky and other researchers say teens are prone to problems because they are by nature risk-takers, and because young people suffering from low self-esteem or depression are at greater risk for trouble.

However, compulsive teen gamblers often are hard to spot, at least early on.

Unlike alcoholics or drug abusers, young gamblers often are athletic, outgoing, and good students -- "the kind of traits you want your kids to have," says Ed Loomey, director of the Council on Compulsive Gambling of New Jersey. As their problems worsen, studies show, their schoolwork deteriorates, their relationships weaken, and they may begin to lie or steal. All of this starts earlier, and seemingly more innocently, than one might think.

For example, the National Council on Problem Gambling cites a study of British adolescents that found the mean age that young problem gamblers started gambling was 8.3 years for boys and 8.9 years for girls. Another survey, the group says, found that nearly half of such gamblers started before they were 10 years old. Loomey says kids learn about gambling every time there's a scratch-off card at McDonald's, or a prize under bottle cap liners for Pepsi.

"The whole society we live in is gambling oriented," he says.

What's more, options for gambling have increased exponentially, as more and more states open casinos, create lotteries, or allow legal betting on sports. "This is the first generation of kids to grow up where gambling is not only legal, but state supported and endorsed," says Derevensky. "It used to be just Las Vegas and illegal bookmaking, but now with lotteries in most states and casinos in [many] states, parents view gambling as a glamorous activity." Sometimes, he notes, parents even give their children lottery tickets as Christmas stocking stuffers. The bigger problems typically start in high school, when kids not only buy lottery tickets illegally -- the legal age in most states is 18 -- but get involved in sports betting. Some go to racetracks or even casinos. Recently, Loomey says, Caesars Atlantic City casino was fined $85,000 for allowing minors at the blackjack tables.

Next month - "Kids have penetrated every form of social, legalized, and illegal gambling that's available where they live or where they travel," says Durand F. Jacobs, Ph.D., a clinical professor of psychology at Loma Linda University Medical Center in Southern California and an early researcher into teen gambling.


Confident Living is Changing its Name - to Vive!
 
We have had a lot of fun with our name change contest and appreciate the enthusiastic participation from so many of you.

The Vive! program addresses the needs of young people who have struggled emotionally or behaviorally, addressing these struggles in the context of the young person's real world and family system.

Vive!'s team of professional therapists delivers a powerful combination of mentoring, therapy, and parent coaching directly to you and your teen right where you live, work, play, and go to school. The result is an effective, sustainable, reality-based solution for the whole family.


For many people, the divorce of their parents marks a turning point in their lives
 
~ whether the divorce happened many years ago or is taking place right now

Part One of Two in this Series

About half the marriages in the United States today end in divorce, so adolescents of divorce are certainly not alone. It may seem hard, but it is possible to cope with divorce - and have a happy family life in spite of some changes divorce may bring. After all, couples divorce one another, not their kids.

There are many reasons why parents divorce. They may include serious problems like abuse or alcoholism, but often couples divorce because they can no longer live together in harmony.

One parent may have changed in some ways, and the other could not adapt. Some couples may have simply drifted apart over time. Others find that they no longer love each other as they once did. It's common for teens to think that their parents' divorce is somehow their fault, but nothing could be further from the truth. Some teens may wonder if they could have helped to prevent the split. Others may wish they had prevented arguments by cooperating more within the family. But separation and divorce are a result of a couple's problems with each other, not with their kids. The decisions adults make about divorce are their own. When parents are divorcing, adolescents may experience a variety of feelings, and their emotions may change frequently, too. They may feel angry, sad or upset. They might feel protective of one parent or blame one for the situation.

They may feel abandoned, afraid, guilty or worried. They may also feel relieved. These feelings are normal and talking about them with a trusted friend or adult can help. There's no doubt that a parents' divorce will affect your adolescents daily life.

Depending on your particular situation, they may have to adjust to many changes. These could include things like changing schools and moving, spending time with both parents separately, and dealing with some parents' unpleasant feelings toward one another. Issues of money may change for parents, too. A parent who didn't work during the marriage may need to find a job to pay for the mortgage or rent. There are expenses associated with divorce, from lawyers' fees to the cost of moving to a new place to live. Your family may not be able to afford all the things you were used to before the divorce. Some teens have to travel between parents, and that may pose problems both practically and socially. There may be some hassles, but with time you can create a new routine that works. Parents may go to court to determine custody arrangements. Your adolescent may end up living with one parent most of the time and visiting the other, or as parents you may split your time with your children evenly.

Often, it takes a while for custody arrangements to be finalized.

This can give people time to adapt to these big changes and for families to figure out together what works best.

What Parents and Teens Can Do to Make Divorce Easier

Keep the peace. Dealing with divorce is easiest when parents get along. Teens find it especially hard when their parents argue and fight or act with bitterness toward each other.

Adolescents can't do much to influence how their parents behave during a divorce, but they can ask them to do their best to call a truce to any bickering or unkind things they might be saying about each other. No matter what problems a couple may have faced, as parents they need to handle visiting arrangements peacefully to minimize the stress their kids may feel.

Be fair. Most teens say it's important that parents don't try to get them to "take sides." You need to feel free to relate to one parent without the other parent acting jealous, hurt, or mad.

It's unfair for anyone to feel that relating to one parent is being disloyal to the other or that the burden of one parent's happiness is on your shoulders. When parents find it hard to let go of bitterness or anger, or if they are depressed about the changes brought on by divorce, they can find help from a counselor or therapist who specializes in working with people who are dealing with divorce. This can help parents to get past the pain divorce may have created, to find personal happiness, and to lift any burdens from their kids.

Next Month: Keep in touch. Going back and forth between two homes can be tough, especially if parents live far apart.


Combat Truancy
 
The Problem of Truancy - Part One of Two in this Series

Truancy is the first sign of trouble; the first indicator that a young person is giving up and losing her or his way. When young people start skipping school, they are telling their parents, school officials and the community at large that they are in trouble and need help if they are to keep moving forward in life. Research data tells us that students who become truant and eventually drop out of school put themselves at a long term disadvantage in becoming productive citizens. High school dropouts, for example, are two and a half times more likely to be on welfare than high school graduates. High school dropouts are almost twice as likely to be unemployed as high school graduates. In addition, high school dropouts who are employed earn much lower salaries. Students who become truant and eventually drop out of high school too often set themselves up for a life of struggle.

Truancy is a gateway to crime. High rates of truancy are linked to high daytime burglary rates and high vandalism. According to the Los Angeles County Office of Education, truancy is the most powerful predictor of juvenile delinquent behavior.

"I've never seen a gang member who wasn't a truant first," says California District Attorney Kim Menninger (July 1996).

Truancy prevention efforts need to be a part of any community policing effort to prevent crime before it happens.

  • During a recent sample period in Miami more than 71 percent of 13 to 16 year-olds prosecuted for criminal violations had been truant.
  • In Minneapolis, daytime crime dropped 68 percent after police began citing truant students.
  • In San Diego, 44 percent of violent juvenile crime occurs between 8:30 a.m. . and 1:30 p.m.
While no national data on the extent of truancy exists, we know that in some cities unexcused absences can number in the thousands each day. In Pittsburgh, for example, each day approximately 3,500 students or 12 percent of the pupil population is absent and about 70 percent of these absences are unexcused. In Philadelphia, approximately 2,500 students a day are absent without an excuse. In Milwaukee, on any given school day, there are approximately 4,000 unexcused absences.

Combating truancy is one of the first ways that a community can reach out quickly to a disaffected young person and help families that may be struggling with a rebellious teenager. This article seeks to offer parents, school officials, law enforcement agencies and communities a set of principles to design their own strategies to combat truancy and describes successful models of how anti-truancy initiatives are working in communities across the nation.

Deterring Truancy

Each school and each community need to decide which steps to take to reduce truancy. These decisions need to be made with the active involvement of parents, educators, law enforcement personnel, juvenile and family court judges, and representatives from social service, community, and religious organizations.

The communities that have had the most success in deterring truancy not only have focused on improving procedures -- such as those that accurately track student attendance -- but each also has implemented a comprehensive strategy that focuses on incentive s and sanctions for truants and their parents.

There are five primary elements of a comprehensive community and educational strategy to combat truancy.

1. Create meaningful incentives for parental responsibility
It is critical that parents of truant adolescents assume responsibility for truant behavior. It is up to each community to determine the best way to create meaningful incentives for such parents to ensure that their adolescent goes to school. In some states, parents of truant adolescents are asked to participate in parenting education programs. Some other states, such as Maryland and Oklahoma, have determined that parents who fail to prevent truancy can be subject to formal sanction or lose eligibility for certain public assistance. Communities can also provide positive incentives for responsible parents who ensure their adolescent's regular school attendance. Such incentives can include increased eligibility to participate in publicly funded programs. Local officials, educators and parents, working together, can make a shared commitment to assume responsibility for reducing truancy -- and can choose the incentives that make the most sense for their community.

2. Ensure that students face firm sanctions for truancy
School districts need to communicate to their students that they have zero tolerance for truancy. State legislatures have found that linking truancy to such items as a student's grades or driver's license can help reduce the problem.

Delaware, Connecticut, and several other states have daytime curfews during school hours that allow law enforcement officers to question youth to determine if their absence is legitimate. In a few states, including New York, a student with a certain number of unexcused absences can be failed in his or her courses.

A Wisconsin judge may, among other options, order a truant to attend counseling or to attend an education program designed for him or her.

3. Establish ongoing truancy prevention programs in school
Truancy can be caused by or related to such factors as student drug use, violence at or near school, association with truant friends, lack of family support for regular attendance, emotional or mental health problems, lack of a clear path to more education or work, or inability to keep pace with academic requirements. Schools need to address the unique needs of each adolescent and consider developing initiatives to combat the root causes of truancy, including tutoring programs, added security measures, drug prevention initiatives, mentorship efforts through community and religious groups, campaigns for involving parents in their adolescent's school attendance, and referrals to social service agencies. Schools need to also find new ways to engage their students in learning, including such hands-on options as career academies, school-to-work opportunities, and community service. They need to enlist the support of local business and community leaders to determine the best way to prevent and reduce truancy. For example, business and community leaders may lend support by volunteering space to house temporary detention centers, establishing community service projects that lead to after school or weekend jobs, or developing software to track truants.

4.Involve local law enforcement in truancy reduction efforts
In order to enforce school attendance policies, school officials need to establish close linkages with local police, probation officers, and juvenile and family court officials.

Police Departments report favorably on community-run temporary detention centers where they can drop off truant youth rather than bring them to local police stations for time-consuming processing. When part of a comprehensive anti-truancy initiative, police sweeps of neighborhoods in which truant youth are often found can prove dramatically effective.

5. Involve parents in all truancy prevention activities
Parents play the fundamental role in the education of their children. This applies to every family regardless of the parents' station in life, their income, or their educational background.

Nobody else commands greater influence in getting a young person to go to school every day and recognizing how a good education can define her or his future. For families and schools to work together to solve problems like truancy, there must be mutual trust and communication. Many truancy programs contain components which provide intensive monitoring, counseling and other family-strengthening services to truants and their families.

Schools can help by being "family-friendly" and encouraging teachers and parents to make regular contact before problems arise. Schools may want to consider arranging convenient times and neutral settings for parent meetings, starting homework hotlines, training teachers to work with parents, hiring or appointing a parent liaison, and giving parents a voice in school decisions.

Next Month: Each community needs to determine how it will reduce and deter truancy. Next month we will share descriptions of truancy programs being used in communities around the country which employ some or all of the elements described above. We have received information from:

  • Milwaukee, Wisconsin
  • Rohnert Park, California
  • New Haven, Connecticut
  • Atlantic County, New Jersey
  • Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
  • Norfolk, Virginia
  • Marion, Ohio
  • Peoria, Arizona
  • Bakersfield, California
If you have a Model Truancy Reduction Initiative and would like to share your information with our readers in December, please email Dore@Dorefrances.com before November 17, 2006.


CONTEST!
 
This one is simple!!

Can you write a monthly theme for our 2007 newsletter?

If so, send it our way. The best monthly theme for 2007 (must contain one for each month of the year) wins a cash prize of $100 or a beautiful gift basket from Harry & David of the same value.

Rules: Themes must adhere to the nature of this newsletter and involve one topic per theme per month.

Example: Theme - Adolescent Escort Services - Article idea - Escorting your teen can be a difficult decision. Send your entry to Dore@Dorefrances.com. It must be sent in the body of an email, with the header "Theme Contest". One entry per person, the last day to submit is December 11, 2006.

Contest open to everyone except me, because that just wouldn't be very fair, would it? Get writing!

Also, since I want to reward people who read this entire newsletter, the first ten people who email me will get ~ well, you will see. Make sure I have your mailing address.

You're special. Never forget that.



With the holidays fast approaching and school breaks just around the corner, your kids may be spending more time with their friends. Sometimes they're going to parties and sometimes they may just be hanging out. Next month our articles include:

  • High School Clicks - It's a competitive world
  • The Family Online Internet Safety Contract
  • What To Do When Your Teen Chooses Bad Friends
  • Dealing With Power Struggles
  • Teens Headed for Trouble: Turning it Around
  • Why Did You Do That? The Most Fruitless Question A Parent Can Ask
  • Deciding whether to send an adolescent to residential treatment is a big decision
  • What Parents Can Do If Their Daughter or Son Is Suspended From School
  • Teen athletes and performance-enhancing substances: What parents can do
  • ~ and much more!
Thanksgiving is all about love, sharing and togetherness, and giving thanks for our blessings. Strengthen the ties that bind you and your family and loved ones together.

A very Happy Thanksgiving to you from us at Horizon Family Solutions!

Dore 1
Dore E. Frances
Horizon Family Solutions, LLC

Phone: (541) 312-4422
Fax: (541) 312-4420