• Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207
• FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Summer is quickly coming to an end and parents and children nationwide are preparing for another school year.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is reminding parents to take precautions to keep children safe when they head back to school. “As you prepare to send your child back to school, parents should arm themselves with important safety tips that can help keep your child in the classroom and out of a hospital emergency room,” said CPSC Acting Chairman Nancy Nord.

• Drawstrings on Children’s Clothing

Many states have tax-free holidays prior to schools opening. Take advantage of this time to buy safe clothing and supplies for back to school. Parents should talk to school officials to make sure the school’s equipment complies with all federal, state and local standards and requirements.

In addition, CPSC urges parents and schools to check for recalled products or report a dangerous product or a product-related injury by calling CPSC’s hotline at
(800) 638-2772 or visit www.cpsc.gov

Q: When I suggested goals, objectives and accommodations at the IEP meeting, the school ignored me. What can I do when they do this? - Jeremy G. Seattle, Washington

This is ANOTHER great question which describes an experience with which many parents will be able to identify.

I’ve found that one thing that is VERY important to ALL parents attending IEP meetings is for them to have an opportunity to be heard.

Frequently, buy the time parents arrive at the first meeting, they’re already overwhelmed with the long list of unfamiliar terminology used by everyone in the room as they nod in agreement with each other, sometimes making the parent(s) feel as though they’ve walked into a meeting they actually shouldn’t be attending at all, that somehow they’re intruding on decisions about which they should have no input because they’re really not the experts. On the contrary: all parents are the most reliable authorities about their children. This is why, in the very beginning of every IEP meeting, regardless of district, county or state, after confirming the simple, formal family information regarding full name, address, birth date, etc., the next question is directed to the parents.

The meeting facilitator (most often, Special Education faculty; hopefully someone familiar with the child) should ask the parent(s) to describe their child in two ways:

1. What are your child’s strengths? and
2. What are you most concerned about regarding your child’s learning challenges?

As you may have previously read in this column, I encourage every parent to go into this meeting prepared with notes to thoroughly answer both questions.

They should also be ready with questions about progress THEY HAVE noticed since the last meeting, necessary changes they believe may be appropriate to the last IEP AS WELL AS very frank questions about what faculty and staff are observing about their child during the regular school day, aside from the daily classroom experience.

When parents feel invisible during these meetings, I’ve discovered that sometimes it’s because they don’t understand what an important part they have in this meeting (and that these are the parents rights by law) to provide important input, ask important questions and receive the answers to those questions, as well.

It’s unlikely that parents have had a chance to read the copy of their Parents’ Rights Statement (in some states, referred to as Procedural Safeguards) when handed this document as they’re being seated or during the preliminary information check. Of course, it’s IMPOSSIBLE that they can skim this document and understand it during the time allotted for the meeting, yet they’re asked to check the box on the signature page and initial that they have received a copy of this document at EACH MEETING. I’ve heard from hundreds of parents who have attended IEP meetings and reported that they also felt left out, not heard, and sort of “steam rolled”.

They’ve told me that the staff indicates at the beginning of the meeting, that they’re “short on time”, that something has come up and that, rather than trying to reschedule, would it be possible to just focus closely to the mandatory items that MUST be covered and “get this out of the way”.

Although I can see this from the other side of the coin, (IEP meetings are typically held at the end of the school day, when teachers, staff and faculty are ready to go home, buses are being loaded and the last stragglers are in the halls.

However, attending, participating and assisting parents with the IEP process is part of each of the professional participants’ jobs. If faculty or administrative members of the IEP team convey any intentions that they want to hurry through the meeting for your child, I encourage you to let it be known that you WOULD be HAPPY to reschedule when they’ll have PLENTY of time to respond to your concerns and questions. Do NOT race through this document which will determine the type and venue of services your child requires in order to receive an “appropriate education”.

Incidentally, this meeting should not be postponed for a MONTH but allow A FEW DAYS, which should be agreeable to all. If you must reschedule for a later date, return with that same list on the note cards you brought with you originally. It is also appropriate, if you feel you MUST race through this meeting (in the event that this is the end of the school year and administrators and faculty inform you that there isn’t a single hour left to reschedule until pre-fall), DO make a note on the back of the signature page (REFERENCING IT ON THE BOTTOM OF THE SIGNATURE PAGE WITH AN ASTERISK), that you either:

1. did not have an opportunity to read through your rights prior to the end of the meeting, that your signature only indicated that, yes, you had received them during the meeting and
2. that “it was made clear to me/us that" - because of whatever reason - ”we needed to hurry through this meeting.”

Your request to write this statement on this document will simply put the faculty and administrators on notice that you are paying attention, that you plan to advocate for your child, and that you WILL be reading your copy of your Parents’ Rights and will have some questions later. If you’ve attended an IEP meeting in the past, you’ve noticed that the document is written at the time that the IEP meeting takes place. Actually, it MUST be composed DURING the meeting.

So as a result, the Special Education teacher (or SPED director) is composing the majority of the Goals and Objectives as agreed to by the team as the Team is discussing them. This is your opportunity to ask questions as this material is read back to you. (Typically, they’re actually read to the administrator or district’s psychologist for approval of language, and agreement to reasonable time limits as well as the tools and persons responsible for evaluating each Goal.)

If you don’t understand, or if you feel that the Goal or Objective is unrealistic (or not challenging enough) for your child, you MUST ask the team to stop and explain the reason for composing each one in the manner in which they chose.

Sometimes, just the language used in this part of an IEP is offensive to parents and it’s your job to tell the team if this is so. (Language offensive to ME are things like, “She is very “strong willed”, teacher-talk for “oppositional”, or “If he/she would just apply him/herself - ”, etc.) Because small children (K-5) often do not attend these meetings (although they may), if any arrangements are described which you feel may embarrass your child as the accommodation is described to occur, for example, it’s your job to know this about your child and advocate for a more creative way to achieve the same outcome. If the IEP Team doesn’t understand or agree with your objection, provide them with an example of a time during which your child was placed in a similar, uncomfortable situation. Depending upon a child’s learning diagnosis, some even have difficulty with “push in” (when an aid, speech or occupational therapist comes into the mainstream classroom, or “pull out”, (when the child is cued to leave the mainstream classroom for similar services as those described above), so this would be a time when asking for creativity is necessary. Your child won’t be the first to have just about ANY disability or combination of disabilities, so the team should have multitudes of experience upon which they can draw.

This is exactly one of the greatest benefits of the “team experience”: an opportunity to brainstorm, have the luxury of many academic (and other) professionals in one room with different experiences and points of view or perceptions about the very same child as well as the very important participation of non-professionals like parents or family friends, social workers and in some counties, even Probation Officers who may gain enormous new insight into the make-up of a child who would otherwise blend into the mix in our overcrowded schools and classrooms. When everyone is on the same page,(literally!) during an IEP meeting, looking at the same information with different sets of eyes, the finest outcome will be that a child will receive the same, consistent message, whether it’s about how they must position themselves in the classroom or how they can best transition from class to class to avoid negative interactions from other kids, thus, steering clear of, as well, negative repercussions from the administration. When I’ve been unable to attend an IEP with a client, I’ve encouraged parents to invite a relative or close family friend to the meeting just for the emotional support. This is the easiest thing parents can do to feel empowered during this meeting.

If you’re feeling like your are STILL not being heard, and you still feel “ignored”, as you described, I suggest that you send a signed and dated note (typed, or in your own hand), 24 hours or more in advance of the meeting, informing the school that you intend to tape record the meeting for your own purposes. This is not a strategy to antagonize the administration or faculty or to appear that you have “something up your sleeve”. This is a straightforward request for the following reason: to make sure that you have heard everything that was said and wish to fill in those who were unable to attend with you on that day: spouse, partner, friend, advocate. Be assured that the district will let you know that THEY intend to tape record as well. When you hear this news, acknowledge it as just “information transferred”. Although when parents attend IEP’s, because the child under discussion is THEIR CHILD, naturally, they feel the pressure to do exactly the right thing, to know what is even out there to help this child, and to make sure that the child receives the services to which the team has agreed.

Because of the huge concern parents have in a child’s future, it’s natural for them to feel slighted, angry, helpless or inadequate if THEIR needs and questions aren’t acknowledged during this meeting.

I STILL encourage parents to make every effort to work WITH the school or district and avoid an adversarial tone during the meeting or in written transmissions, as this strategy is the one which will most likely get them what they want: a free and appropriate education for their child.

Worst Case Scenario: If you follow my suggestions above and are STILL feeling ignored, one section of your Parents’ Rights Document will describe the Grievance Procedure and another will describe the steps necessary to initiate a Due Process Hearing. Additional assistance for both actions, if this is what it finally comes down to, is available on the Board of Education’s website for your state under the categories of “Special Education” or “Special Services and Programs”. Good luck. Advocate for your child. If you do, your child will learn, via your model, how to advocate for him or her self in the future.

Through my work with parents of troubled teens, I have assisted many families in creating whole and healthy relationships.

When your son or daughter is struggling with any of the issues of today (i.e, drug abuse, depression, defiance, low self-esteem, to name a few), the whole family is struggling. You know when what you are doing IS NOT WORKING and I can assist you in understanding different ways of being with your teen.

The hardest thing for a family to go through is the disruption, anger and sadness that is created out of lack of understanding, confusion and the feeling of “not knowing where to turn next” when your son or daughter is struggling. Parenting is something most of us were never taught and we learned how to parent from our parents.

I can assist you in finding a new way of being with your teen, a way that honors and respects one another as human beings and a way you can guide your teen in understanding his or her life purpose in a compassionate way. There is help available and the hopelessness can be replaced by hopefulness.

Call Carol at 719-687-1032 or go to
www.coachwithcarol.com

Our site offers you the opportunity to learn more about us and our company. We are here to assist you, the family, with all of your teen escort and transportation needs. We take having the responsibility of your child very seriously and see them all the way through this part of their journey. We are committed to you and your family, and always treat your child with the utmost compassion, dignity, kindness and respect. We will stay in communication with you, the parent or guardian, and your educational consultant, by cell phone, and call you at frequent intervals, which can be decided on prior to the transport. Our goal is always to have the safest, least traumatic trip possible, and we always take the most cost effective route. We also strive for the shortest routes, unless the safety of your child is jeopardized by long airport layovers. We do not want your child to endure any additional trauma by having too much time to deal with on this already difficult and emotional trip.

At Custom Youth Services our emphasis is on the "Safety" of everyone involved.

• Practical/Smart Recovery
• *12 step Alternative*
• Counselor in Costa Rica

First focus on what motivates you.

• #1 Set a major goal, but follow a path

"Give a person an idea, and you enrich their life. Teach a person how to learn, and they can enrich their own lives" - Author Unknown

Shane had a a hard time understanding how alcohol and even marijuana could hurt anybody. He always thought "hey I know what I am doing I am not hurting me or anyone else".

However he came to realize a little to late a little bit of alcohol and a little bit of drugs only leads to stronger and more stuff which also means worse crowds and means trouble. He hopes that he can get into the heads of the kids that are thinking the same way he did and help them realize it will kill you and that you may not be buried under ground but your life as well as many others will die because of this little bit of drugs or alcohol. He believes that if these kids, hear and see what it will do from someone who is living it and is their age that maybe he can change them and help them lead the right path.

I'll never forget this young stranger’s face
Or how his loss nothing could replace
Drugs, guns, and stupidity is what caused this disgrace
but I’m ultimately to blame because it happened in my place
Why didn’t I realize before it was too late
I shouldn’t of done drugs because of their fate
The destruction of drugs is not a debate
they will bring you down and long you won’t wait
Drugs took my life
and put his in the ground
but after this destruction
a new hope I have found
I can help so many people
I see them all around
I can even help through poetry
as crazy as it might sound
I’m driven to help people
as a means to honor him
And through saving lives
I won’t feel so grim
With many new goals
my life’s no longer dim
My glass isn’t half empty
but now filled to the brim

Shane is charged with First Degree Murder (sentenced to 55 years).

(unedited as received)

Our family struggled for years with the heartache of finding appropriate help for our son.

He had serious behavioral and emotional problems and had not responded to other treatments. Alex was challenged with a disruptive behavior disorder, substance use disorder, and mood disorder.

With the assistance of Dore Frances, Alex entered a therapeutic residential treatment center on April 12 of last year and just graduated and returned back home on August 10, 2006. We have experienced tremendous improvement in our communications and personal family dynamics.

Private residential programs can help turnaround teens in trouble. Alex's program gave us our son back. We want other parents to know that if they are struggling with the difficult decision of how to best help their child, call an Educational Consultant. I would never think of attempting to handle a legal matter without the advice of an attorney, so when it came to my son, I knew I had to ask for professional assistance, guidance and support. We are pleased with the positive outcomes made by Alex at his private residential treatment program.

Parents considering placement of their child at a private residential treatment program need a professional Educational Consultant who goes to visit programs and schools to make sure they are accredited and licensed facilities with a longstanding record of safety as well as a licensed and qualified staff of administrators, teachers and therapists. Our family was just not willing to keep on struggling and see not only our heartache but the heartache of Alex who just did not know how to help himself. Nor should he. He was only 16 and we are his parents. I absolutely have no regrets and neither does our son that we made the difficult yet life rewarding decision of finding appropriate help.

If you are a student with a success story or a parent, or a program, please write and let us know. We will publish one success story per month and will only share information in which we are given permission. Write to Dore@DoreFrances.com

Arms of Assurance is a division of Horizon Family Solutions and was founded in 2002 by Dore Frances.

Working on behalf of families, both domestic and abroad with at-risk students. Times may have changed dramatically over the years, but one thing hasn’t changed: Happy and Healthy family life remains just as important today as it was back then. Take a moment to find out more about us, how we work to help keep families happy and healthy, and how we might be of service to your family.

Select one of the programs or services on our website to learn more about our spectrum of family services.

• Educational Consultation for At-Risk Students
• Parent Seminars and Workshops
• Aftercare Student / Family Management Transition Services
• Child Right's Education Law Consultant Recognized Expert in Education Law, both Federal and State

Our Current Professional Affiliations include:

• American Bar Association - Associate Member
• American School Counselor Association (ASCA) Affiliate Member
• Education Industry Association - Member
• International Coach Federation Member (ICF)
• National Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) Association Member and State of Oregon CASA volunteer
• National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs - Supporting Member,(NATSAP)

The Horizon Family Solutions, LLC newsletter may contain links to sites on the Internet owned and operated by third parties. Horizon Family Solutions, LLC is not responsible for the availability of, or the content located on or through, any such third-party site. Information in this document is provided "as is," without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose and freedom from infringement. The user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of this document. Horizon Family Solutions, LLC will not be liable for any damages of any kind arising from the use of this information, including, but not limited to direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, and consequential damages.