(Photo by Marty Seybold Photography) Greetings!
One common reality in every workplace is conflict. Every human interaction has the potential for conflict, and with a wide range of people we work with every day, conflict is inevitable. Think about it: gender differences, generational differences, behavioral differences, personality differences. It all adds up.
I don't believe you can win a conflict at work. Now, by 'winning" a conflict, I mean - getting what you want at the price of what the other person wants. Of course, it can seem gratifying at the time, but the problem is that the root of the conflict hasn't been addressed.
Rather than focusing on winning a conflict at work, focus on how to resolve it.
Keep in mind that the price of unresolved conflict is high, because unresolved, long-running conflicts result in antagonism, break-downs of communications, inefficiencies, stress and low productivity. In some cases (thankfully, not many), it can even result in more drastic consequences.
This month's newsletter is focused on how to create positive conflicts, rather than negative ones, and how to handle "Calm Confrontation". P.S. Are you writing a newsletter and need some "snippets" of information? You are welcome to quote anything in this e-zine, provided you give appropriate credit. |
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Conflicts are Inevitable...
...But they don't have to be a "bad" thing.
In any environment where people are passionate, engaged and committed, there are going to be conflicts about process, procedure, methodology, purpose, and more. it doesn't mean that it's automatically a problem, or that the project is "doomed".
The difference in the outcome is set by the difference in how the conflict is managed. The very best and most effective work environments are not the ones without conflict, but the ones who handle conflicts constructively, professionally, and with thought to communication, not control.
If you would like Sarah to come and speak
to your group, organization or company,
please click HERE.
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You Can Handle it Now or...
...You will Have to Deal with it Later... Unresolved conflict just keeps coming back again and again and again and... well, you get the idea. It's not too smart to assume that something will "blow over" or that someone will "get over it". That kind of thinking fuels the fire for other petty conflicts.
We've all wanted to just "wish away" a conflict, or a difficult working relationship. But HOPE IS NOT A STRATEGY. You have to deal with unresolved conflict. And often, when you approach someone when you are in the early stages of a conflict, it works out far better than if you had waited.
Understanding your employee and co-worker's behavior is critical to success. Stop wondering and learn how and why people act the way they do and how to manage and work with them for success.
Click HERE to schedule Sarah to speak to your company.
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Before There's a Conflict...
...Look Inward.
Take a minute to ask yourself three questions:
- What is the *core* issue here? Too many times, we're upset and don't know why; or the other person is upset and can't really put a finger on what's bothering them. It's critical to drill down to the core of a conflict. Typically, conflicts occur because of unmet expectations - someone is not getting what they need, what they think they deserve, or what they believe they've earned.
- Is it worth it? - I know it seems counter-intuitive to the point I made above about not letting something "blow over", but when YOU are the one who is starting a conflict, you need to ask yourself "is it worth it"? Sometimes, situations just ARE. There isn't time, energy or resources to fix/change things this time around. It might be that you need to wait until the next time to get it right.
- Am I prepared? - if you've gone through #1 and #2 above, and you are going to proceed, you had BETTER be sure you are ready to deal with the problem, or else you stand a very good chance of making an even bigger mess of things.
- Gather the facts
- Leave your emotions at the door
- Make no assumptions
- Focus on the PROBLEM, not the PERSON
- Know what you want the outcome to be
Understanding your employee and co-worker's behavior is critical to success. Stop wondering and learn how and why people act the way they do and how to manage and work with them for success.
Click HERE to schedule Sarah to speak to your company.
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Calm Confrontation Basics
Control Your Mindset
- Think Negotiation, not Conflict
- Think Compromise, not Winning
- Think Communication, not Confrontation
Control Your Body
- REMEMBER: As Far as Your Body Knows, This is a Fight, which means you have to get your body under control. I believe that your mouth follows your muscles, and when you start to tense up, you're getting ready for the fight.
- Take Deep Breaths - when you get into the "fight or flight" mode, you begin to take shallower breaths, which deprive your brain of oxygen.
- Watch Your Muscles - when you begin to notice you are tensing up, relax!
Control Your Emotions
- Stop thinking about the situation from your point of view - get your mind to 30,000 feet and view it objectively. In the workplace, nobody cares how you feel, they want to know what you think, what you believe, and concrete facts, figures and logic.
- Respond, don't React - you might need to ask for a moment "to process the information you've just been given". So What? Would you rather ask for a moment to process, or would you rather lose control and look foolish? Take a moment to compose your thoughts, THEN respond.
Understanding your employee and co-worker's behavior is critical to success. Stop wondering and learn how and why people act the way they do and how to manage and work with them for success.
Click HERE to hire Sarah to come and speak to your company.
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