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Tips on Encouraging Abstinence 

 February 2009
 
 
 
In This Issue
Sexting
Legal Reasons for Abstinence
Attributes of Abstinence
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Greetings!
 
Technology has changed our lives in many wonderful ways. With a simple cell phone we can talk, text, email, take pictures or surf the Internet. We can communicate just about anything we want to anyone, anytime, anywhere.
 
However, the ease of communication has also created some significant complications. This issue of the Tips Newsletter explores how the cell phone is causing legal problems that especially impact pre-teens and teens and provides solutions to help you protect your child.
 
 
 "SEXTING"
  Written by Eric Tooley, Program Director
 
Last October at a high school in Pennsylvania, a student tried to sneak a text message out on his cell phone during class. The teacher caught him, and in accordance with school policy the phone was confiscated. School officials soon discovered the phone contained nude photos of female students from the school and turned the phone over to the police to investigate any criminal activity.

The investigation led to the discovery of more nude photos on other cell phones throughout the school. The photos were self-portraits of 14- and 15-year-old girls. The girls had flirtatiously sent their photos to some upperclassmen in the school with the hope of enticing these young men into a relationship. But they all got much more than they ever expected.

The police charged three girls with manufacturing, disseminating and possessing child pornography. Three boys were charged with possession of child pornography. These are felony offenses, and if convicted, the students could face jail time and certainly would be required to register as sex offenders for at least ten years.

Sexting is the practice of using your cell phone to AFS Logosend sexually explicit messages to others. Is this happening at your child's school? According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, it probably is. They reported last December that 20 percent of teens say they had sent nude photos of themselves. The percentage was slightly higher among teenage girls.

Parents, please talk to your child about how she or he uses their cell phone and consider the following ideas to encourage responsible cell phone use: 
  1. Consider whether your child has the maturity to use a cell phone responsibly.
  2. Learn and use all of the parental control features available from your wireless provider.
  3. Consider incremental privileges when you give your child a cell phone. Begin with only phone calls to parents or other specific adults. Gradually add phone call privileges to friends. Once your child has demonstrated respect for your rules consider adding other features such as texting or Internet access. 
  4. Conduct regular, unannounced checks of your child's cell phone to determine if your rules are being followed. Violations should result in the loss of cell phone privileges.
  5. Each night, phones are to be given to you and will remain in your possession until the morning.

Talk to your children about the dangers of "sexting," and use the true story above to help explain the consequences of their behavior. Before you get them a cell phone, make sure your children agree to your rules. And by all means, parents, follow through with your supervision!

 


 
LEGAL REASONS FOR ABSTINENCE
 
"Freedom To Succeed" is the second program in the three-part series of Aim For Success programs onFTS sexual abstinence until marriage. This program teaches that sexual abstinence is a good choice for teens because it keeps you in compliance with the law and will give you more Freedom To Succeed with your future dreams and goals.

Legal issues regarding pornography, especially child pornography, are a significant part of this program. As cell phones, webcams, Internet and digital cameras have come into popularity over the years so has the potential for pre-teens and teens to violate state and federal laws while "sexting" with these devices.
 
Participants in the Freedom To Succeed program also learn about sex offender registration, sexual harassment and other valuable, legal reasons why they should to choose abstinence. 
 
To view a detailed outline of the Freedom To Succeed program as well as a video clip, please  click here to visit our website. Book this program for your school or organization by emailing our Scheduling Director, Windi Fuller at wfuller@aimforsuccess.org or calling 972-422-2322 ext 223.

Save 10%

Schedule your
Aim For Success 
presentations between 
April 20 - May 1, 2009 
and receive 10% off the program fee. 
 
 

Contact Windi Fuller at wfuller@aimforsuccess.org or call 972-422-2322 ext 223 to schedule your program today!

 
 
ATTRIBUTES OF ABSTINENCE
 
The advantages of choosing abstinence go far beyond eliminating the risk of pregnancies and STDs. According to the National Longitudinal Survey of Adolescent Health, there are eight personality and behavioral traits that are associated with both abstinence and academic achievement.   
  • Future orientation, with a focus on long-term goals.
  • Willingness to postpone current pleasures for larger future rewards.
  • Perseverance, as in the ability to stick to a task or commitment.
  • A belief that current behavior can positively affect the future.
  • Impulse control, including ability to control emotions and desires.
  • Resistance to peer influence.
  • Respect for parental and social values.
  • Sense of self-worth and personal dignity.

Dinner Time Discussion

Share the following information with your children during dinner. As you read through the various traits, provide some specific examples of how you see your child successfully accomplishing these positive traits. And don't forget to conclude with something like, "I love you so much! And I'm so proud of you, and I'm excited for the bright future ahead of you! ... Oh, and by the way, I don't want you having sex until you're married!"