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Upcoming Aim For Success Program Locations
January 2009
Addison, TX
Allen, TX
Antiock, TN
Anton, TX
Argyle, TX
Corpus Christi, TX
Dallas, TX
Ector, TX
Fairview, TX
Forney, TX
Fort Worth, TX
Fredericksburg, TX
Frisco, TX
Garland, TX
Grand Prairie, TX
Highland Village, TX
Houston, TX
Kennedale, TX
Kingsville, TX
Lamesa, TX
Little Elm, TX
Llano, TX
Lubbock, TX
McKinney, TX
Mesquite, TX
Needville, TX
N. Richland Hills, TX
Paris, TX
Pattonville, TX
Plano, TX
Pleasanton, TX
Saginaw, TX
Schulenburg, TX
Sonora, TX
Waxahachie, TX
February 2009
Allen, Tx
Alrington, VA
Dallas, TX
Duncanville, TX
El Paso, TX
Fairfield, TX
Fort Worth, TX
Frisco, TX
Garland, TX
Grand Prairie, TX
Grandfield, OK
Hallettsville, TX
Houston, TX
Keene, TX
Mt. Pleasant, TX
Paris, TX
Parker, TX
Plano, TX
Rockwall, TX
Saginaw, TX
Sugar Land, TX
Tulsa, OK
Wortham, TX
Wylie, TX
March 2009 Brazoria, TX
Carrollton, TX
Coppell, TX
Fort Worth, TX
Frisco, TX
Grapevine, TX
Houston, TX
Keller, TX
Kelly, TX
Memphis, TN
Mission, TX
Quinlan, TX
Rockdale, TX
Rockwall, TX
San Antonio, TX
Southlake, TX
Sweeny, TX
Tyler, TX
Van Alstyne, TX
West Columbia, TX
Wylie, TX
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| Greetings!
With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, perhaps your family will enjoy sitting down and sharing a few laughs as you read through the following rules for dating. Keep in mind that exaggeration is sometimes a good source of humor, although many fathers of daughters may agree with each and every rule that follows.
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RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
Author: Unknown
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package because you're sure not picking anything up!
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate. When it comes to sex, I am the barrier and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway waiting for my daughter to appear and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged dimwitted has-been, but on issues relating to my daughter I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
May your holiday season be filled with fun and laughter from your friends at Aim for Success!
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Your Help Would Be Appreciated
With today's teens so accustomed to a high-tech world, we at Aim For Success believe it's time to add video and sound to our programs. We already have the ability to produce HD videos, but we need to provide each of our nine speakers with portable, high-quality sound equipment that will work in a small classroom of 25 students or a large auditorium filled with 500 students. Therefore, we need your help to raise $30,000. Your tax-deductable, year-end donation will help us expand our programs further into the high-tech world.
If you want to help, please click here and you will be directed to our secure site to make an on-line donation. Or, if you prefer to mail us a check, please use the following address:
Aim for Success, Inc.
PO Box 550336
Dallas, TX 75355-0336
Sincerely,
Marilyn Morris
Founder/President
Aim For Success, Inc.
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