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Taking A Stand
If you've made a commitment to save sex for marriage, consider wearing a ring or necklace as an outward sign of your decision. This will serve as a constant reminder to you, your family, your friends and those you date that you are saving yourself for the person you marry. Continue to wear the jewelry until your wedding day.
Put your commitment in writing. Write your future spouse a letter explaining why and when you made this decision. Then you can give this letter to him or her on your wedding day.
Buy your future spouse gifts. Show your future spouse that you were thinking of him or her long before you ever met each other. Start buying your future spouse one special gift a year. (It doesn't need to be expensive, just meaningful. Perhaps a CD with a special song, a postcard or poster of a romantic scene, etc.) Wrap each gift with the date and a note explaining why this particular gift made you think of him or her. Then during your first year of marriage present your spouse with one of the gifts on your one month anniversary, second month, and so on.
For more helpful suggestions on strengthening your commitment to saving sex until marriage read, Teens, Sex and Choices or the parent companion book ABCs of the Birds and Bees for Parents of Toddlers to Teens by Marilyn Morris, president of Aim For Success. These books and other resources are available for purchase through the Aim For Success website links above.
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 For the 10th year in a row the majority of American teens choose abstinence, so says a report released by the Center for Disease control in June.
When 14,000 high school students took the latest Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS), 52% said they had never had sexual intercourse. That means America has now experienced an entire decade where the majority of teenagers have chosen abstinence instead of engaging in sexual intercourse. The study documents a substantial improvement in many health risk behaviors among all high school students with the exception of Hispanic teens whose numbers remained essentially unchanged.
An analysis of trends from YRBS on sexual risk behaviors found the following:
- Significant decreases occurred overall in the percentage of black high school students who had ever had sexual intercourse (66% in 2007; 82% in 1991); and who had sex with four or more people during their lifetime (28% in 2007; 43% in 1991.).
- Significant decreases also occurred in the percentage of white high school students who had ever had sexual intercourse - 44% in 2007; 50% in 1991; and who had sex with four or more people during their lifetime - 12% in 2007; 15% in 1991.).
- No significant change occurred in the percentage of Hispanic high school students who had ever had sexual intercourse (52% in 2007; 53% in 1991); and who had sex with four or more persons during their life (17% in both 2007 and 1991.)
Note: YRBS studies are conducted every two years among black, white and Hispanic high school students. Sample sizes of other racial/ethnic populations are too small for a meaningful analysis.
Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Press Release, June 4, 2008.
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Book any Aim for Success program for September 2008 and receive 10% off the normal program cost. Call 972-422-2322 ext 222 now while program dates are still available.
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Hollywood Celebrities Taking a Stand for Abstinence
Selena Gomez, the 15-year-old who appears to be Disney's next rising star, started wearing a commitment ring when she was 12-years-old. Recently she publically announced her plans to save sex for marriage. She is presently starring in her own Disney television show The Wizards of Waverley Place. She also provided voiceover as the Mayor's daughter in the blockbuster animated film, Horton Hears a Who.
In a recent interview with Extra, Selena was asked if she had a steady boyfriend. She shook her head and said, "I'm 15. I don't need a boyfriend."
Selena isn't the only celebrity who has made a public commitment of abstinence until marriage. American Idol winner Jordin Sparks stated, "My parents gave me a purity ring and talked to me about waiting until I'm married to have sex. It wasn't forced; it just made perfect sense. It's going to be awesome to say to my husband that I waited my whole life for him."
Saving sex isn't just a female thing in Hollywood. The ever popular Jonas Brothers band (Kevin - 20, Joe - 18, and Nick - 15) all wear silver metal bands to signify their desire to remain virgins until they are married.
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Soccer Super Stars Choose Abstinence
Nicola Legrottaglie, a star defender for Italy's Juventus Soccer Club disclosed in an Italian magazine article that two years ago he made a decision to stop having sex until he was married.
Reflecting on his past, Nicola said he came to realize, "One who is unable to live without sex, becomes a slave." Nicola explained that his choice to wait certainly isn't because of a lack of interest in women, but more of a desire to wait for the right woman who shares his values and desires to have a family together.
Superstar Ricardo Izecson Santos Leite is one of Brazil's most successful soccer players. He's also known for his remarkably good looks.
Ricardo recently shared with Vanity Fair that he and his wife were both virgins when they got married. He was quoted as saying, "If our life today is so beautiful, I think it is because we waited." He went on to say it was not easy to stay a virgin until his wedding night and that even now there are temptations. But he said the sacrifices he and his wife made for each other have been more than worth it.
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Virginity Pledges Work
In 1993 True Love Waits introduced the concept of signing a pledge card to remain a virgin until marriage. Since that time, churches, schools and colleges across the nation have utilized the concept. It's been estimated that 16 percent of males and 23 percent of females in America have now signed virginity pledge cards.
Some researchers have speculated that pledging increases the practice of oral sex and reduces the use of condoms for those who break their vow. But a new study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health refutes such beliefs.
Researchers from RAND Health surveyed 1,461 virgins 12- to 17-years-old and then interviewed them again one and three years later. All the participants had similar characteristics except for one thing - one-fourth had previously made a virginity pledged.
At the end of three years, the study found 42 percent of those who did not make virginity pledges had sexual intercourse compared to only 34 percent who made a virginity pledge.
Lead author and psychologist, Steven Martino stated, "Making a pledge to remain a virgin until married may provide extra motivation to adolescents who want to delay becoming sexually active." However, he warned, "Virginity pledges must be made freely for them to work. If young people are coerced or are unduly influenced by peer pressure, virginity pledges are not likely to have a positive effect."
The study also found that pledging did not increase the practice of oral sex. And those pledgers who eventually had sex were not less likely to use condoms once they became sexually active.
Source: Journal of Adolescent Health, June 5, 2008
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Thank you for reading Tips on Encouraging Abstinence.
Sincerely,
Marilyn Morris
President and Founder |
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