We live in a world of rich diversity, including the ways in which we communicate. There are over 6,000 languages spoken in the world today. The ways to express ourselves are unlimited, and yet most of us are stuck in unconscious language patterning (ULP), speaking by rote, mimicking how others are talking.
Learning from others helps us to discover ways to cope, communicate, survive, express ourselves, and be part of our surroundings. We learn from nature and humans. The current of a river teaches us the ease of going with the flow. The wind teaches us the power of cleansing. How people in our family and community speak teaches us a way to relate our emotions, thoughts and beliefs. Often this learning is programmed on a subconscious or subtle level. In the unaware state of that learning we use ULP to fit in, rather than finding words that truly express our feelings, or thoughts in a given moment.
Think back to a time in your life when you were feeling something, but did not know how to express it. You looked around to what others were doing, listened to what they were saying and then mirror imaged it. Perfect for that situation, but then you began to rely on that pattern. forgetting to incorporate your CURRENT feelings and situation in that moment. I remember the time in my life when I was first confronted with a death in my family. Confused in what I was feeling and what to do with those feelings, I watched intently at what the adults were doing. I then incorporated it as "the way" of dealing with death.
I have since learned that each circumstance, in its own uniqueness, calls for awareness of all of the aspects that are present. I discovered how to speak from my heart finding the words that best express the feelings I have in the given situation. So how do you make that switch?
OBSERVE - Awaken -
Begin to notice your speech patterns or phrases that are not in alignment with how you are truly feeling. Do you often speak in ways to make others feel comfortable? Or do you copy what you have heard, even when you do not feel that same way. Are you saying things to fit in, when really you do not feel the truth of what you are expressing? Often the strongest vibration of language rules, not the highest.
RESPONSIBILITY - Own it -
When you do hear your words, recognize the underlying expression. If your words are not in alignment with your truth, own the miscommunication - and clarify it. For instance, let's say you are talking with a few friends after work and they are going on and on about how hard things are in their lives. You hear yourself matching their language and saying how tough things are with your life. You realize that this is not true. Stop, take a breath, and find a way to rephrase what you have shared. You can be compassionate for their situation but do not have to deny the spirit of your life.
TAKE A MOMENT TO FEEL - Take a Breath -
Sometimes it can help just to take a breath, a moment to feel what is going on. Check in with your feelings and let them help choose the words, tone and phrasing that best express both your thoughts and feelings. It doesn't take long, and it brings immeasurable clarity to your communication.
SILENCE - Open to the Power of Silence -
Don't rule out silence, as it is a valid form of communication. It allows us to be in neutral, neither agreeing with nor disagreeing with the situation. You are listening, acknowledging that you are open to hearing the speaker but have nothing to say, add or express at that time. Many of us fear this important form of communication, or we are uncomfortable with it. However, it is a powerful listening tool. It allows you the space to be a listener, for without a listener what would the speaker be doing. It creates space for the speaker to hear themselves as well, which can be a welcome gift to many. The echo of our own words can be just the teacher one needs.
Don't confuse silence for gagging, suppressing or stifling your response or reaction. It is space, it is stillness, it is the calm peaceful place of spaciousness that fuels our hearts and mind to be in union, with one another.
BE CONSCIENTIOUS - Discover Anew
When it is time to speak you will be discovering a new way of speaking. Words that once served you will no longer. You will notice that you are searching for new ones that are more in alignment with what you are feeling in that moment. (I love a good thesaurus!) Indulge yourself in the moment to take the time to find the right word that will express both your thoughts and feelings. Be fearless in your expression. Try new words, and feel comfortable correcting yourself if the first way you speak does not fully represent your truth. Honor the listener by sharing your heart fully with them, as well as your thoughts.
As you take your time in conscious communication it is an incredible gift for all parties. We help to create a healthy world, as we send out the lucid expression of our vibration. Become another expression of divine diversity, speak YOUR truth.
