Shirley Cohen, Executive Director

Dear friends, clients and associates,

The other day I visited an elderly gentleman in a skilled nursing hospital who had recently gotten mugged.  I was visiting him with a girlfriend of mine who knew him from her synagogue and was concerned about his wellbeing.  She had heard that the blow to his head caused significant bleeding in and around his brain.  His sister and her son lived on the other side of the world, and it would be awhile till they were able to come out and assist him in getting the help he now needed.   My friend was kind enough to go to his apartment to get it ready for his return but found it to be an unlivable hoarder's den.  The social worker confirmed that he would not be allowed to return to this apartment that he had lived in for many years.

The elderly man I met was very, very confused, and appeared to be unable to make even the smallest decisions about his life needs.  My friend, Gail, had taken the time out of her busy life to research and find what she thought was a suitable place for him to live in when his 'rehabilitation' was completed at the end of this week.  The social worker at the nursing home said that his team probably wouldn't make the determination that he was incapable of managing his own affairs even though it appeared to us that he clearly wasn't able to.  Gail told the gentleman the cost of the new place she had found, which, she explained to him, he would only have to live in until his relatives came and made other arrangements.  He was astonished by the amount she quoted and said he couldn't afford that, even though she knew that he had more than enough money to manage these current needs.

The poor man was told that his Medicare subsidy would run out at the end of this week and that he would have to move to a private place.  While he was told this many times, he didn't seem to get it and had no plans to move even though his monthly cost would become $11,000 per month if he stayed on at the nursing facility as a private patient.  He didn't seem to recognize that $11,000 was $8,000 more than the $3,000 that she told him the place she found him would cost.  He didn't plan to do anything about it.  And my friend, Gail, was not in the position to do anything more for him.  She had managed to get a temporary health care power of attorney for him but nothing else.  So there was nothing she could do.  She had already put in more than 40 hours, over the course of several weeks, trying to help him but, in the end, was unable to.   We both felt very sad for him.  He had saved all his life for a comfortable retirement and now his money would be frittered away by the government and by unknown decision-makers.

The incident brought home to me the importance of Estate Planning.  People work so hard all their lives to accumulate the assets they have and they pay attention to every detail under the sun but arranging for what they want to happen to those assets and to whom they'd like to give them to in the event of their untimely death or disability; this terrible oversight struck me as the biggest, saddest thing that people can do to themselves.  Don't let this happen to you.  No one knows the future.  We know the date of our birth, but we can never know in advance the date of our death, or the date when we wake up but can no longer remember who we are and what we're doing.

It's time to take the matter of Estate Planning more seriously.  Give someone you love the Power of Attorney for your Healthcare decisions and someone you trust, the Power of Attorney for your Finances, or the distribution of your assets.  If you don't know anyone who you trust to manage your money, select a Fiduciary.  These professional money managers are qualified and accountable.  And the sooner you do it, the sooner you can relax and know that you're life and your estate will be in good hands.

Happy Spring!

Shirley Cohen

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Shirley Cohen is the Founder Executive Director of Home Sweet Home Care, a full-service home care aide agency serving the San Francisco Bay Area since 1990.