Cyber Space - The New Frontier
Perhaps because of the news about schools that used the cams on laptops they thought were stolen, or perhaps because we have so much cyber-bullying and sexting challenging our wits, lots of calls are coming in with questions. It is a topic that is more extensive than a Tip can cover, but it seems like it is worth dipping a toe in the water at the edge of a HUGE lake!
There appear to be more articles on data - who does cyber-bullying and what is the impact - than any giving us ideas about what we can do about it. Hearing a report this morning on brain research about the teenage brain brings new concerns about the unlimited and nearly continuous use of this technology by teens. Their frontal lobes don't yet have the myelin sheath covering neurons nearly to the degree we have by age 25 or so, which also means that teens have less innate ability to even feel or understand empathy.
When bullying occurs in the hallway or on the playground, there may be adults within earshot and there are likely other peers overhearing it. This kind of bullying, done face-to-face, offers two opportunities. It may provide an opportunity for an adult or peer to step in to support the victim, and the bully has the opportunity to see the effects of his or her actions. With cyberspace, just push the "send" button and shrug. There is no opportunity to see what hurt they may cause others with their words.
Some schools are attempting to create awareness-raising for students by listing examples of what constitutes cyber bullying, or the kinds of language and attitudes that might constitute cyber-bullying. There are attempts to educate kids, which is noble and might help some. But being taught the finer points of what constitutes cyber-bullying isn't going to slow down an angry or vengeful kid. What changes cyber-bullying is a change of heart. The child's intent is what has to change. The conscious decision has to be, "I don't want to do hurtful things to others." Kids don't do cyber-bullying because they don't know better, they do it because it isn't yet a value for them not to.
Real change will come by our having teachers and other caring adults interact with students such that the students themselves want to behave differently, but that we can't hope that simply teaching them what cyber-bullying is will change their behaviors. They need for us to lead meaningful discussions, and for adults to be respectful and to model empathy. They aren't going to learn this from "teaching." It is about relationship.
We are putting together some guidelines on addressing cyber-bullying, but before we finish our resource for schools on this critical topic, we'd like to invite your questions, feedback and ideas. Feel free to send me an email on our contacts page and let me know how you see this phenomenon in your corner of the world.
Spring is just around the corner - enjoy!
Cheri
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