|
|
 Tip of the Week:
9/11 Anniversary and Summer Deaths
As students return to school, we need to look at what to do
about those teacher or student deaths that occurred over the summer. There is no empty desk, as those
students are not assigned to a class, but there are all of the friends and past
teachers who have an empty place in their hearts.
There is sometimes a temptation not to do anything, as the
person has already been buried and the death may now be weeks or months
past. Often, though, if we don't
do something to help students and staff process that loss, it comes up later
and is more difficult to deal with.
Yet, the timing isn't so critical now as it is for a death that occurs
during the school year.
Here are some starting thoughts. First off, be sure that someone from the school visits the
family if that hasn't occurred yet.
This is just a standard courtesy that should always be done unless there
is a compelling reason not to do so.
This isn't about getting their permission for the Life Tribute (that is
done for the students, not for the family, although the family is invited to
attend). It is about sharing
condolences, letting them know that students and teachers cared about their
child and that the child is sorely missed. Take a plant or gift of some sort. Invite them to attend the gathering and be sure to provide
them a special area for seating.
If there are still belongings of the student at school, ask the family
if they'd like to pick them up at a later time or whether they'd like them
brought to the home. If they're
coming to school to pick them up, give them a choice about whether to do it
when students are there or after hours when students will not be present.
Although students are very well-connected now through
texting and web sites, there may be some students returning from summer who
didn't hear about the death. One
important action is to announce the death, just as you would if it happened
yesterday. My preference is for
teachers to read a prepared announcement in first period or at the beginning of
the school day by the third day of school. (If your district has our Crisis Resource Manual, there is a
sample and guidelines in Section C.)
Because of the timing of the death and the usual chaos at the beginning
of the year, we suggest that you let students know that you will do a Life
Tribute just as you do in other cases, but that you want everyone settled into
their new classes before holding that activity, so you'll be doing it toward
the end of the second week of school.
By waiting, the Tribute gets the attention it deserves, rather than just
being another part of the blur of the first week of school. Realizing that some students may be
hearing this news for the first time, it will be helpful to be prepared for
some to need a Safe Room or for the counselor to be prepared for some to need a
place to process the loss. It is
likely it will be a much lesser need because many students will have already
heard about it and will have been to the funeral during the summer.
Perhaps half way through the second week of school, let
students know how they can be a part of the planning of the Life Tribute (or
Memorial Event). (Sections C
and G are helpful for this.)
The message following all deaths, if we're going to teach
compassion and improve school climate, is that every one of the students in the
building has a place in the history and legacy of the school, and that no death
occurs without the school taking time to respectfully pay tribute to that life
and support the friends and teachers of that student. When we provide Life Tributes, we teach students life-long
skills for coping and supporting one another in the face of death. We teach compassion on a day when it is
operational, not just theoretical.
And when we do this for the not-so-popular students, we teach what I
call the high school "royalty" that they, too, are expected to be respectful of
students that they might not befriend.
This is when school climate begins to change.
Be sure the visit the downloads area of our web
site for free guidelines on Helping Students Attending Funerals for the
First Time, on Helping Students Grieve and other guidelines
as well. If you have friends or
colleagues who might want to subscribe to our "Tip of the Week", send them this
link to our contacts page.
September 11th anniversary... thoughts...
If you want to do something to commemorate 9/11, but you haven't quite decided what to do, you might download this two-page 9/11 Discussion Guideline for guiding teachers through a meaningful discussion, culminating in an activity that students define. For more in depth information, go to our downloads web page and use the pull-down menu. The first three listings are 9/11 anniversary guides for elementary, middle and high school. I wrote these years ago, and I had in mind those districts that were close to the devastation, so they might be much more information than most of you need, but you can quickly scroll through them and see whether anything there might be helpful as well.
A few specific guidelines in considering 9/11 anniversary commemorations or discussions in the classroom:
- Look at your presentation or focus to be certain that this is a balanced message that reinforces that terrorism can be perpetrated by any ethnic or political group and be certain that this doesn't reinforce stereotypes that leave individuals of middle eastern descent as targets of prejudice.
- Especially for younger students, be certain that you put that event into its proper perspective regarding how effectively our government has managed to prevent further attacks - not that they won't ever happen, but that we live in a world that has many inherent risks... keep the focus on commemorating the valor and heroism of our responders and the memories of those who died rather than how at risk we are for more attacks. Reinforce that all through history, terrible things happen to communities, and that the way we get through them is by how we come together to help one another.
- It is always more effective when we find ways for students to do something rather than just listen. Consider some action that students could take. This could run all the way from writing letters to congressmen to looking at ways to help students feel safer in the hallways of their own schools.
- Consider that one of the greatest terrorist attacks that occurred in the past 50 years was in Oklahoma City, and it was perpetrated by an American. Consider having students brainstorm all of the kinds of terrorism that has occurred and reinforce that a terrorist is someone who feels no connection to the "faceless millions" around them rather than having a soulful respect for others, whether similar or different from oneself.
Whether you do something to commemorate 9/11 or not, recognize that all year long there are opportunities for these kinds of discussions based on local, national or international events. Some are human-caused, but many may be natural disasters or other calamities. What a terrific opportunity a fifteen minute discussion can be for adding solid direction to a student's sense of ethics. Bless you for all you do to contribute to so much more than just the intellectual development of those who will run the country when we're all depending on them!
Enjoy these lingering warm days of summer!
Breathe!
Cheri
|
|
Let us know your suggestions and topics of concern for a future Tip of the Week at info@cmionline.org.
If you want to keep getting your regular e-mails and newsletters, but want to unsubscribe to Tip of the Week, click here and edit your personal profile to remove Tip of the Week, or e-mail us at info@cmionline.org. |
Cheri Lovre Salem, OR 97308
Director, Crisis Management Institute 503-585-3484
|
|
|
