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 Tip of the Week:
Economic Hardship in Families
I've had several emails asking for ideas on helping students whose families are out of work or stressed about the economic hardships of our current times. I've created a couple of very simple activities that teachers could do in classrooms, or that counselors could use with students. The concepts are the same, regardless of the age of the student - just make them appropriate for your age group.
The first helpful part of the process is for the adult to make the statement of observation, using language appropriate for the students' developmental age. "Many of you have heard on the news and many of you know within your own families that the economic times for our country right now are causing some people to lose their jobs. This is not the first time this has happened in our country, but it might be the first time that any of you can remember. What do you think happens for families when adults in that home lose their jobs?" Allow students to volunteer their thoughts. Be careful not to make any one student right or wrong, but rather make more generally validating statements, such as, "That could be one reaction..." "That could be how some families react (or cope or whatever)." So first is to normalize that when people lose jobs, families feel stress. This part helps students whose families are financially stressed know they're not alone. It may make kids feel on the spot to ask them to reveal whether this is happening in their family, so rather keep it general. Not, "When your dad lost his job, ...." But, "when parents lose jobs, ...." No student has to reveal that their parent is out of work unless they do so spontaneously. So the first part is to have kids suggest the many ways that economic hardship causes family stress. Look over the list. If no students says so, add to the list that sometimes when parents are stressed they are short tempered with their kids.
Next help kids look at why that might be. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is something that even fairly young students can understand. So go on with, "Let's take a look at why families have such a difficult time handling the emotions that go along with economic hardship (or "not having enough for really basic stuff" for younger students)." You could draw Maslow's triangle, or you could do it like a tree where the roots are home and safety, and the branches become the higher elements. This link to Wikipedia gives a little background. It would also be fine to change some of the higher elements ("self-actualization") to something more specific to kids... First we need family and home and security, and then it is easier to be a better friend and kinder person to someone else because we aren't worried about whether things at home are OK. If we have and do both of those (stable home plus better friend) we can then also plan for our future because we aren't worried about how to survive right now..." make it up as you go along, but be sure you're illustrating for the kids that we can do better in school and in life when our home is secure, so certainly when it isn't, it would make sense that your parents are really worried. You might even point out that sometimes when people feel fearful, they act out in anger to feel more control. Like a mother bear protecting a cub.
The next part is to help kids realize they aren't responsible. Go back to the part of the list where someone mentioned that sometimes parents become short-tempered with their kids, and create discussion around what causes the economy to change. Point out that students (children) don't do anything that changes our economy, but that it has to do with (for elementary students) banks and ways that our whole nation spends and borrows money and many other factors. For older students the discussion can be more sophisticated, but basically the goal with this second part of the discussion is to help kids understand that kids are not to blame when the economy is hurting. Be careful, though, not to breed mistrust for banks in the process!
Finally, begin to talk about what is really important in life. That sometimes we forget and think that the brand of jeans we buy is what is really important, but what would it be like to have terrific jeans and no friends? This is a time to generate discussion about the things that allow us to feel loved and connected. Use questions such as, "Who listens when you feel really sad?" "Who is the most fun person in your life?" "Who has really been there for you at a difficult time?" Help students identify social support. Kids could draw a little graphic in the center of the page to represent themselves and then draw a web with lots of other names on it representing people who care for them and who they love or like.
Finally, help students create the longest list possible of the fun things they can do for no or almost no money. Things they can do with whatever they already have.
There would be lots of ways to do this. One variation would be that instead of making a list, kids draw pictures of doing something they love to do that isn't about money. Another would be to provide this handout, which looks like a target. In the center of the circle kids put what is MOST important (could be people, could be things like "love" or "happiness"). On the next circle out, things that are quite important, but not SO important, and finally things they're glad they have are another layer out. You could limit this to just including people or you can make it as broad as you like. Frame it with "We're only going to put things on the page that are free."
Other areas to address with students might include that they can ask to see the school counselor if they're having a difficult time with this or anything else, and let them know any other resources or supports you see that they might have. Encourage them to make lists of things they can do when everyone else in the family seems upset - what can they do to calm themselves down, or not feel drawn in. Have a contest to see how many different activities kids can come up with that will help them recognize the goodness in life that comes without a cost. One resource for those of you who have the Crisis Resource Manual is to copy off "Ways to Take Care of Myself" and see how many things kids can add to that list.
The final caution - for students whose families are recently homeless or those who really are destitute and perhaps struggling just to have enough to eat, it is critical that we not have these exercises discount that living that way can absolutely feel desperate. The goal here is to help kids realize that it really isn't money that makes us happy, but that isn't to say that we don't have any needs that are financial at all. Use your own best judgment on what of this will be helpful for any given group of children based on your knowledge of their current situations.
Go well, find goodness and smile often ~
Cheri
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Cheri Lovre Salem, OR 97308
Director, Crisis Management Institute 503-585-3484
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