 Tip of the Week:
Announcing Deaths to Students
None of us went into education in order to deal with student deaths, or to help students grieve. If we had wanted to deal with kids and death, we'd have become hospice workers or bereavement counselors. But death visits schools, and if we can rise to the occasion, it provides a wonderful opportunity for us to meet the profound needs students have at such times, giving them coping skills they'll use for a lifetime.
Often an administrator believes that because s/he is the person who should take on the difficult responsibilities, the announcement ought to come over the PA or kids should be gathered in the auditorium to hear it from the authority. But consider the value of having teachers read the announcements to their classrooms. All classrooms. So when a student in a school dies, whether anyone in any given class knows that person or not, the teacher reads a sensitively worded, carefully crafted announcement and then engages students in a discussion about how to support others who may be grieving - asking students to be their "best selves" as they move through the hallways, remembering that others may be struggling.
An added benefit of teachers reading these announcements is that they have the opportunity to talk about death when it isn't emotionally charged, thus teachers gain language and concepts that will help them when it is emotionally close to home. What a terrific way to help teachers prepare for the moment when a student returns to school after a family death. The team won't be called in to help a student struggling with a family death, but the teacher is a critical touchstone for that returning student as s/he begins to learn how to survive in a life that has been irrevocably changed.
Although teachers often want the counselor to talk to students about the difficult issues related to death and grief, this is actually a terrific opportunity for teachers, and students find a much deeper trust with teachers who are willing to share that vulnerable space with students and not abandon them and their emotional needs. The Crisis Resource Manual has a section in it specifically designed to help teachers live with the discomfort and do it anyway.
Cheri
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