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February 2011

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 In The News
Parents must walk fine line when their children play sports
By Kevin Sherrington The Oklahoman   
Published: January 31, 2010
DALLAS - When your son to leave the biggest game of his lif, as Brod McCoy's son did, quiestiosn linger, not the least of which is this:

What do I do now?

Brad McCoy is a longtime high school football coach. He knows how hard the game is. He knows injuries are a part of it.

But when it's your son - when you've raised him, nurtured him, coached him, loved him - you're no longer a neutral observer.

"I stayed in the stands as long as a dad can," he said. "I just wanted to be there with him."

"Quote of the Month"
"Sport strips away personality, letting the white bone of character shine through.   Sport gives players an opportunity to know and test themselves." 
--Rita Mae Brown 
Proper Guidelines for a
 Good Sport Parent
It's not easy being a good sport parent with all the pressure that society piles upon us.  Over the years I have been a sport parent, coach and fan. The following is a list of  some do's and don'ts:
  • Do try to enjoy yourself at competition, a great smile and a laugh can be infectious
  • Do make friends with other parents
  • Do volunteer, there is always something you can help with being small or large
  • Do have a positive attitude, it is an influence on your child
  • Do leave the coaching to the coaches
  • Do make the coaches your allies
  • Do keep yours and your child's goal realistic, this is sometimes the hardest. Especially that we are fighting all sorts of outside influences
  • Do emphasize and reward effort, not results
  • Do give yourself and your child a break from the sport
  • Do let your child figure out some things by themselves
  • Do provide regular encouragement
  • Do model a healthy life style 
  • Don't lose perspective about how important the child's participation really is
  • Don't make enemies with the other parents
  • Don't talk about others in the sport community; talk to them directly
  • Don't interfere or disrupt coaches during practice or competition
  • Don't make your child feel guilty about al the time and effort you put into the sport participation
  • Don't criticize your child after practice or competition
  • Don't live vicariously through your child participation
  • Don't compare your child's progress with other children
  • Don't yell at the referees or officials; we all are human
 These have helped in my success, and I hope they help in yours!
If you have other 'Do's and Don'ts' to add to the list visit our blog at  http://positivecoachingblog.blogspot.com/
       Tip of the Month

As a Sport Parent, after a game or match, start the conversation with your child on a positive note.  It does not matter if they played well or not.  Be positive, little things like, "I had a good time watching you or your team play."  "I hope you had fun, I sure did."  "That was a nice break for both of us, can't wait till the next time."  Being Positive takes a load of  stress off our young athlete.

Tom Van Buskirk
Positive Coaching
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Life Dimensions
In This Issue
In The News
Proper Guidelines for a Good Sport Parent
Tip of the Month
A Word from the Coach
Quick Links
A Word from the Coach 

My wife and I are not only Sport Coaches and Business owners, but parents of three wonderful daughters.  Like all parents we had to try and balance our work, coaching, and most importantly raising our daughters.


With all of this going on we had a hard rule when it came to sports.  You could only play one sport during that sport-season.  It was mainly for consideration of school, logistics and time.


One day my wife and I were doing our daily transportation schedule.  Ride to school, ride to practice etc.  Then it happened.  I discovered that our one daughter had somehow become involved in two sports during the same season. A huge no no!


She was only in the six grade and had school volleyball plus club soccer.   I had to ask her to chose one sport, I didn't care which one.   This was very difficult for her sense she enjoyed both.   I gave the fatherly advice of putting down on paper the old plus/minus columns.


That weekend she came to me with tears in her eyes saying it was a hard decision but she chose school volleyball.  Knowing that club soccer went all year long (she could play during the summer) and was a cost burden to the family.


Three days later I observed her staring at the ground and not moving.  I felt bad thinking that my rule had caused her to go into a funk.  I approached her and asked her if she was ok?  She looked up to me with her brilliant smile and said "I'm fine dad, I'm just watching ants build there ant pile here, I never had time before to notice this.


The moral of the story is that sometimes we schedule our lives (children) so that we do not become children of life and see its wonder!


--Tom Van Buskirk