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Dr. Torri Griffin
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As Love Coach Dr. Torri Griffin says in her quote above, now is the time to "Decide to release others from the many ways they have failed you, disappointed you, or misunderstood you. Make a vow to live in the now." She believes that replaying sad and hurtful scenarios over and over keeps you feeling those same old emotions even though the situation is long gone. Focusing on what is current and pleasant not only feels better but keeps you open to new experiences.
How do we move beyond the past and "live in the now"? Below are seven ways.
1. Forgive others.
In Bus 9 to Paradise, Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D., wrote, "Grudges carried for a lifetime are a pretty heavy load. They create much bitterness and suspicion. No one is guiltless. If we hope to be forgiven for our actions or shortcomings, we might start by forgiving others for theirs. In the act of forgiving, we release ourselves from bondage. It then becomes possible for us to move forward."
You can forgive mentally by finally deciding to "let go" of the situation, by no longer thinking and talking about it. You can also use writing as a healing catharsis, to get rid of the negative emotions so you can feel better and get on with your life.
Forgiveness can also be expressed to the individual(s) in a face-to-face conversation or through a note or phone call. In cases of serious infringement, I suggest seeking professional advice before proceeding.
2. Forgive yourself and seek the forgiveness of others.
 If you made the mistake, forgive yourself. Know that we all make poor decisions or err at various times in our lives. Hold yourself accountable for making progress instead of punishing yourself for not being perfect. If you have disappointed or hurt others, apologize with sincerity and ask their forgiveness. Then decide what you will do differently in the future to avoid making the same mistake, or upsetting or harming others.
3. Stop talking constantly about the situation to everyone.
You are wearing people out with your endless conversations about the past. If necessary, confide in one or two trusted individuals who can give you positive advice or direction to consider. Beyond that, instead of always bringing up your past experiences, become more interested in what is going on with those around you.
4. Think of the lesson you can garner from the situation.
I feel every disappointment, hurt or mistake has a lesson for us. It could be, to be more discerning, to treat others better, to think through our decisions, etc. Whatever the lesson may be, make it constructive instead of negative. For example, "In the future I will be more careful of those I trust" vs. "In the future I will distrust everyone."
5. Be of help to others.
Volunteer at a homeless center, hospital, senior citizen home, the Red Cross, or  other organizations. Help a friend, family member, neighbor or someone you know who needs assistance. Being of service to others can help shift your negative thinking from the past, to how you are of value to others in the present. Books such as, The Healing Power of Doing Good and Why Good Things Happen to Good People, cite research about the emotional rewards of volunteerism and helping others.
6. Realize the incident allows you to put into practice your spiritual or faith-based principles of acceptance, understanding, and forgiveness.
Think of "getting over it" as you deciding to "walk your spiritual talk". If your faith has specific prayers or practices for forgiveness, repeat or engage in them regularly in order to release yourself from the hurtful situation.
7. Join a support group.
 There are situations that require the help of others, in order to move past them. Do not be embarrassed if you find this is what you need. First, do research to make sure the group you are considering is right for you. Next find out the meeting details, such as the dates, times, venue and costs. Then plan to attend.
8. If appropriate, consider approaching the person who disappointed or hurt you, to let them know how you feel about the situation.
It is possible that getting their point of view about what happened or their apology, will be beneficial for you. You may even find out their actions were not intentional or they did not know you were disappointed or hurt by their words or actions.
9. Seek professional assistance.
Some incidents dealing with loss, injury, or damage, may require you to seek individual professional counseling, to work on your internal feelings and reactions. If that is necessary, then do so.
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When you have a moment, visit www.GetOverItDay.com. This website has a humorous and optimistic approach to looking at the disappointments and hurts we have all experienced. It even has an amusing (some may consider it a little "crude") video you can watch.
As the day's creator says in a poem at the site ... "March 9th is the day, to finally say 'Move on! It's done! It's Get Over It Day'"!
For more insights from Dr. Torri Griffin, visit her website at www.LoveLivingLife.com .
Wishing You Serious Success
In All Your Endeavors
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Donna Satchell of STARR Consulting & Training is a motivational speaker, success skills trainer, and author. She provides programs in teamwork, time management, presentation skills as well as motivational speeches which inspire individuals to live more rewarding, fulfilling and successful lives. Please visit www.JustGetSerious.com for information about programs/products and to view videos of Donna's speeches. Contact her at 770-498-0400 or Donna@JustGetSerious.com. Visit information about Donna's soon-to-be-released book, visit www.JustGetSeriousBook.com--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright 2011 - Donna Satchell All rights reserved. Reprint Donna's articles in your organization, company or church newsletters or magazines.* Details below. *Permission is granted to reprint this article provided that the bio below and contact information are included in the publication and a copy of the reprinted article or a link to it is emailed to Donna@JustGetSerious.com.
Donna Satchell of STARR Consulting & Training is a motivational speaker, success skills trainer, and author. She provides programs in teamwork, time management, presentation skills as well as motivational speeches which inspire individuals to live more rewarding, fulfilling and successful lives. Please visit www.JustGetSerious.com for information about programs/products and to view videos of Donna's speeches. Contact her at 770-498-0400 or Donna@JustGetSerious.com. Visit information about Donna's soon-to-be-released book, visit www.JustGetSeriousBook.com
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I believe the slogan at the 
(intentional and unintentional). They can come from loved ones, friends, co-workers, managers, strangers or even our own misguided behavior. Constantly thinking about them does little to help us achieve our goals and dreams. 