Mistake or Miracle?
Last weekend, I held a one-week-old baby girl in my arms. Beautiful, healthy, chubby, content, with a full head of hair, big blue eyes, tiny little mouth, cooing and gurgling ... a perfect little girl.
My great granddaughter, Cailyn.
I held her for a long time. Oh, the emotions. I can't begin to tell you.
We bonded.
I'm in love.
And to think that, in my mind, right up until that Saturday afternoon, she was a mistake. The unplanned child of two children, my 19 year old grandson and his 18 year old girlfriend. He's been in and out of school and now works as an unskilled laborer. She has no real education and no job skills at all. Both have endearing qualities, but neither is exactly mature beyond their years. Are they prepared for parenthood? Not even close.
Despite my understanding of the law of attraction and my belief in focusing on possibility rather than limitation, I found myself feeling sorry for this little soul who was being born into this situation. Why would she choose to be born at this time to a couple of ill-prepared kids? I couldn't help but think how unfortunate she was ... how substandard her childhood was likely to be. It's as if somebody at Stork mission control had screwed up and mistimed or misrouted the delivery. This shouldn't be happening. There'd been a mistake.
I couldn't help it. I was doing what I counsel people NOT TO DO. I was fixating on the "reality" of what I had decided this baby's life would be like, rather than concentrating on the vision of what I want for her.
Just holding her and looking into her eyes changed all that in a heartbeat.
We all have frailties. We all act in very ordinary human ways. It's so easy to be judgmental ... to make people wrong ... to disapprove ... to disallow ... to despair. But there's no future in that.
When I think of my limiting thoughts, it reminds me of that line I quote so often from Oprah Winfrey, who grew up poor, black, and female in Mississippi. Not exactly the standard recipe for becoming unbelievably rich, powerful, famous, and loved by millions.
"I believed I belonged to someone or something bigger than myself, my family, or even Mississippi. I believed I was God's child. Therefore, I could do anything." And so she has. And so can my blessed little miracle, Cailyn.
So, I'm sorry little one. I'm sorry for thinking something was wrong ... that somehow you shouldn't be ... at least not here ... not now. I'm sorry for doubting and complaining about your young parents, who, by the way, adore you. I'm sorry for not holding your soul up to the full light of possibility in my heart. I will never do that again. I will always cherish you and love you for who you are, here and now and forever, because that's what you deserve.
It's what we all deserve.
And my wish for you readers is that you bring your best to all your relationships and enjoy each person for who they are now, as well as who they can be. Who knows, you might just turn some mistakes into miracles yourself.
Love,
Denise
