Wow! I've had such a "life-altering" experience on the set of A Perfect Ending. It's like every incredible cast and crew member had been hand-picked by fate to converge at this moment...  

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I was in the pens, pencils and popcorn aisle at Staples, trying to figure out if I should commit to the extra fine point or the fine point.  I was doodling on the practice note pad and I was feeling political so I wrote: Stop the war-show me your panties. I was writing other profound statements when I saw him. He didn't see me, but I saw him, my gynecologist...   

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Elizabeth Taylor wasn't my type at all  

(hard to find butch stars in Hollywood) but that slightly overripe quality of her body was appealing and that she looked so exquisitely elegant then opened her mouth and sounded like a fishmonger...that was attractive...to me....

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Dear Battle Axe, 

I have been going to the Hot Flash dance parties for the mature, seasoned woman - I'm 65. More than once,  young, beautiful women in their thirties have flirted with me. They say I'm stunningly handsome! What do you think I should do? It has taken me by surprise...

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Mother Joan of Arc with her big brown eyes looked at me with great compassion one afternoon as she guided me to the almost life size Jesus hanging on the cross. Pointing to the scroll above his crown of thorns, "Look" she said, "see, it says 'King of the Jews', He was a Jew. Like you."

"Then why do I have to convert?" I challenged. "Because He is not only our Savior but yours too. If you accept him as your Lord and Savior he can take away your sins." Even my masturbating, I wondered?...

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