March 2011 Newsletter

The Business of Me Newsletter

May 2011

Picture of Nancy Salamone Victory Over Violence

Nancy Salamone
Author and Speaker
Advocate Against Domestic Violence

Founder of
The Business of Me

Acclaimed Yale University anthropologist David Levinson, in a family violence study* he conducted that focused on battered women; found that in the ninety societies he studied, incidents of battering were practically nonexistent when women have economic independence and support from other women.

And that is what The Business of Me strives to offer women in need everywhere.

Quick Links...

Our Website

Nancy's Story

NCADV
CAEPV
National Domestic Violence Hotline

Victory Over Violence

Nancy's Story and
The Business of Me

I'm so happy to announce the publication of my new book, "Victory Over Violence"
My hope is that women who have endured their own struggles find something from my story and realize that they too can create the financially self-sufficient life that they choose and achieve their own "Victory over Violence".

Please order
Victory Over Violence: Nancy's Story and The Business Of Me

The Perfect Gift
For Any Woman
Read It Yourself
and Give It To A Friend

and,
GIVE THIS BOOK
To Your Daughters

Greetings!

Welcome to this month's newsletter. The past couple of months I have been beating myself up emotionally. For some reason my mind kept going to the dark side and I was having a very hard time getting out of the dark and back into the light until I met Dr. Sharon Ufberg.

Dr. Ufberg came into my life through my friend Iva Kaufman (http://ivakaufmanassociates.com/ ). Dr. Ufberg helped me "see the light" and get back on track by allowing me to forgive me. I was blaming me for not working hard enough and slacking off and blamed myself for not getting the instant gratification results my mind wants. Well I did forgive myself and practice what I learned from Dr. Ufberg.

I am delighted that Dr. Ufberg is our guest expert this month and has written an article that will help all of us "forgive" ourselves. Enjoy the article and if you practice what she says you will feel the stress melt away and feel energized.

In my last newsletter I talked about my friend the wonderful writer and speaker Jennifer Wilcov and urged you to read her incredible story. Unfortunately the website I listed for Jennifer was incorrect. So for all of you who want to (and you should) read about Jennifer here's her website http://www.jenniferswilkov.com/.

And for those of you who want to find out more about the healing powers of tea from Joyce Maio (our guest expert last month) you can contact her directly at jamaio@aol.com.

In this month's newsletter our affirmation of the month is meant to help us move our lives forward by realizing how resilient we are and how our resiliency helps us achieve our goals.

This month our website of the month is www.iamapeacekeeper.com. If you like cosmetics and want to do something good for so many women this is a site you should visit again and again.

In "What's New" I talk about my wonderful interview with two "rare women". You don't want to miss this.

In Nancy's Book Club I review "A Golden Age" by Tahmima Anam. This is not a "how to" or "self-help" book but one for you to just enjoy. The warm weather is coming and this book will be great for the days when you are relaxing at the beach.

Resiliency is my theme for this month and I recently wrote a blog post about the resiliency of survivors. The post talks about the research of Dr. Kim Anderson of The University of Missouri. Dr. Anderson's research confirms my belief that survivors are resilient. The Business of Me capitalizes on survivor's resiliency and guides participants to living a self-sufficient life. The resiliency of survivors is so important to their ability to move past the violence that has plagued them. Please forward the post below titled "Resilient" to your networks.

And to all of you who so graciously support me and the work of The Business of Me, I am truly blessed and grateful! Thank you all.

Warmest Regards

Nancy

Resilient

Survivors of domestic violence are resilient. I have always believed this and so does Dr. Kim Anderson of the University of Missouri.

Dr. Anderson suggests that we work with survivors to help them recognize the strength and resilience they gained from their situations. In her words:

"I have learned that resiliency is not a scarce commodity in which some have it and some do not. Instead, there are many roads to surviving, persevering, and thriving if we are prepared to listen and learn from individuals' experiences with suffering and healing." "Persons continue to resist, prudently, creatively, and with astonishing determination, even in the face of the most extreme forms of violence. Survivors of family violence are heroic, and treatment that focuses on their resiliency would reinforce this conceptualization."

The Business of Me acknowledges the courage these women possess and the program is designed to guide them to recognize the strength they hold so they can create a self-sufficient life. These women "have what it takes" to move their lives forward and The Business of Me is the catalyst for the change they need to move past their abuse.

Affirmation for the Month of May

I AM Resilient!!

I AM Resilient!

At one time or another in our lives we are presented with situations that tax us emotionally. In dealing with the obstacles that cross our path we can either "give up" or "learn and move on". Giving up means we will allow the circumstance to win. It takes resilience to face the adversity and do something about it and move on.

I remember when I got the news that I had breast cancer. My first reaction was "What? Why me? I've survived domestic violence and now this." My mind was screaming "Damn it I don't need another character building exercise".

That night I bought a bottle of wine and proceeded to drink it all - and I'm not a drinker! In the days that followed my anger turned to resolve. I was determined to beat it - and I did. I went from "giving up" to moving on to conquer my breast cancer.

In the process of "moving on" we not only get past the situation but we grow, learn and thrive. It is the resilience we all have that helps us move past the pain in our lives. Resilience is that voice inside us that says "I will conquer this".

We have all been there, we have all faced and conquered obstacles in our lives and for all of us this month's affirmation is "I AM Resilient".

News

During this month I have spent a lot of time connecting with organizations and corporations to introduce The Business of Me. I am amazed at the tremendous response and thank all who have so freely given me their time.

I was interviewed by two "rare women", LaRoya Jordan and Vivienne Leigh, on their show "Rare Woman". I had a great time and I want to thank both LaRoya and Vivienne for making me feel so welcome. They are truly "rare women". I also want to thank Deborah Talley the producer of "Rare Women" for her kindness and understanding - Deborah made the process so easy and delightful. I was fortunate to appear on their show twice - you can listen to the interviews here: http://www.latalkradio.com/Rarewoman.php .

During my second appearance LaRoya and Vivienne surprised me by having my friend Tony Sweet of Global Voice Broadcasting on their show too. Tony has started his own network on May 4^th. Global Voice Broadcasting offers an amazing variety of entertaining talk so be sure to listen to Tony every Friday from 4pm to 6pm Pacific http://gvbradio.com/.

Please purchase Victory Over Violence: Nancy's Story and The Business Of Me

This Month's Expert

Dr. Sharon Ufberg

Love And Forgiveness At The Core Of Healing

by Dr. Sharon Ufberg

Recently, I heard Marci Shimoff, best-selling author of the book, Love for No Reason, speak about love and forgiveness. I was amazed by my profound and positive experience using one of her practices for opening up the heart to love and forgiveness. It is called Ho'opononpono and is based on an ancient Kahuna Hawaiian tradition. It is very easy to do. You simply say to yourself four sentences: "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you."

"I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you." That is all there is to it.

We all know that we cannot have an open heart when we're holding any kind of resentment, grudges, or any ill feelings towards ourselves or others.

I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Close your eyes and just repeat those lines a few times to yourself. No need to direct the words to anyone in particular.

Now just keep running those words through your head almost like a mantra, over and over again for several minutes. Sit as long as is comfortable and try to focus and embrace the feeling of forgiveness as it washes over you.

Tune into the frequency of acceptance and forgiveness. Really be mindful about forgiveness, not just with the intention of forgiving others but with the heartfelt purpose of first forgiving yourself. Bath yourself in the forgiveness, feel the Goddess of Compassion rise up inside you and see your heart opening, and notice what shifts in your world when you begin to embody that compassionate spirit.

After my first five minutes of trying this practice, my heart just melted. I truly felt huge compassion and real understanding, and most importantly, I felt it inside- directed towards myself.

Bring in the possibility of the power of this healing prayer into your world. You will quickly feel yourself releasing and feeling more love. I know that every person has access to this frequency. So I invite you to try it and see what happens when you are open to embracing forgiveness in the moment. Real change can be felt almost immediately and you may be surprised what you are easily able to let go of by practicing this exercise regularly.

Now is a good time to discover where you have the most need for forgiveness and compassion. What situation do you cringe or contract inside when you think about? You may recognize that you have friendships that have been challenged and now you may feel the possibility of letting go of some of that resentment and hurt. It is really beautiful to just bring that energy of Ho'oponopono to those relationships. Perhaps right now you can just sit silently and say internally: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you...for yourself, a person or situation. Try saying these four sentences while bringing your hand to your heart to allow for greater focus.

I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.

I know how meaningful this practice of Ho'oponopono can be for every person. Practiced regularly, it is sure to create new openings for love and happiness.

Louise L. Hay has a wonderful statement about practicing daily rituals and forgiveness. She writes,

"Forgiveness is a gift to myself. I forgive, and I set myself free. Daily affirmations heal your life and change your whole world for the better. Trust life to hear and respond to your positive words."

I would love to hear the stories about the effects of your Ho'opononpono practice. My websites: www.drsharonufberg.com and www.goodadviceworks.com

On Twitter: http://twitter.com/drufberg and http://twitter.com/goodadviceworks

Our expert columnist next month is Carly Wise, coordinator at SAFER - Survivors Advocating for Effective Reform.

Nancy's Book Club

"A Golden Age" By Tahmima Anam

Buy "A Golden Age" at Amazon.com

"A Golden Age" by Tahmima Anam was first published in 2007. Ms. Anam's first novel is set during the Bangladesh Liberation War which occurred in 1971. We see the war through the eyes of a widow named Rehana Haque.

The book opens in 1959 with Rehana at the grave of her deceased husband. She is telling him that she has lost his children. Her children, a boy named Sohail and his younger sister Maya, were taken away from her by the courts as they deemed her not to have the financial resources to take care of them. Sohail and Maya were given over to her brother-in-law and his childless wife and it took Rehana some years to get the money to get her children back.

Each year on the anniversary of the children's return Rehana has a celebration party. It is 1971 and soon the war will begin. But Rehana is content to raise her children, keep her house and socialize with her neighbors and barely notices the political changes around her until her children (both now college students) become embroiled in the fight to free Bangladesh.

Rehana finds herself in the middle of the war as her house becomes a meeting point for the freedom fighters. She finds herself facing and standing up to the opposition with strength she never realized she had.

This is a story of a mother who simply wanted to live an "ordinary" life but like so many other mothers ended up doing extraordinary things for their children.

Website of The Month

Peacekeeper Cause-Metics (www.iamapeacekeeper.com)

I love cosmetics. Cosmetics make me feel good about myself and help me to boost my self-esteem. Yes I am vain and proud of it!

Here is why I love this company. Peacekeeper Cause-Metics is the first cosmetics company to give donations to women's urgent human rights issues. They focus on women who live at the base of the pyramid on a dollar or two a day or women living in exploitation or servitude.

Go to www.iamapeacekeeper.com and buy a few products and become a Peacekeeper too! Tell your friends about this site and have them become Peacekeepers. If we all buy a few products, we can make a difference in the lives of women in need and that is what true beauty is all about! That is why PeaceKeeper's slogan is Transform You. Transform The World!