Growing up in Louisville, Ky. you didn't need to be a boxing fan to admire Muhammad Ali and to know his cornerman, Angelo Dundee, who died, at the age of 90 this past February.  For all the boxers who knew Dundee they called him the king of all cornermen.  He wasn't a boxer.  He never tried to impose his style on anyone, because he didn't have one.  Yet so many of the fighters he trained remarked that he would make the average boxer, the best he could be and when that boxer didn't think he could make it, Dundee seemed to always be able to say something that elicited something in the fighter he didn't even know was there.  It was said that he would almost make himself invisible, so the fighter would do it himself.

The concept of a great cornerman in the business world is akin to that of a coach or mentor.  Someone who doesn't tell you what to do but makes you believe in yourself so much that you will find your own way.

 

Jack and Suzy Welch's opinion piece in FORTUNE (April 9, 2012) shares three guidelines for how any leader can tap into and communicate their authentic self.

First, quoting the famous philosopher, Popeye, they site that you often hear authentic people give you some version of "I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam."  Authentic people are deeply comfortable with themselves.  They acknowledge both their weakness and their strengths without apology.

Second, authentic people say "I love" a lot as in "I love March Madness."  You name it, they are emoting about it.  They are also comfortable with "I hate..." as well.  Whether it comes to love or hate, authentic people go big.

Third, authentic people aren't afraid to say, "I screwed up, and I've been down, and it was awful!"  Authentic people actually seem to relish describing mistakes in gritty detail.

The Welch's commentary was focused on the need for politicians to be more honest, more transparent...and yes, more authentic.  While we all may debate whether or not these three guidelines really do describe what true authenticity means, I think we can agree that we benefit when leaders (or anyone for that matter) put their cards on the table - opinions, passions and perspectives.  This kind of transparency provides direction, engenders debate and makes way for better decision-making.

Recently I had the chance to watch a PBS documentary
on the life and times of
director, Woody Allen.  Many actors with whom he worked talked about his style of directing and called him the ultimate "actor's director."  Why?  They all shared that he actually gave them virtually no direction and often the first real conversation they had was on day one of the shoot.

Instead they soon became clear that he hired them because he believed in their talent and their job was to show up and do what they do well.  Many shared that this level of confidence and the lack of micro-managing prompted them to bring their A-game to every shoot.  Allen created an environment of trust and freedom that produced great results.

Leaders intuitively know this works.  You hire great people and then you need to let them go and do what they do best.

Do you have someone in your personal or professional life who continually seems rattled, in a state of chaos or simply always seems unsure of themselves?

Having to make a couple of visits to my doctor recently I was reminded of how she always seems a bit flustered and if I ask her how she is she doing, it is quickly followed my a list of things that are currently driving her crazy - the new computer system, the tight scheduling of patients, etc.  I love my doctor and yet I wonder if she is aware of the signals her commentary emits (will she remember to call me about the lab test, will she follow-up with the prescription, etc.)  This is probably not the message she wants to send to her patients and yet, there it is.

She, of course, is not alone.  I work with my clients all the time to make them aware of the fact that it is not just what you say but how you say it.  In addition, are we saying things that actually give our listener a reason to doubt or question us?

Have you ever begun a communication by saying something like:

"I know you are really busy and I hate to bother you but..."

We think we are trying to be polite but what we are actually doing is reminding the other person of how busy they actually are!

Much better is to say, "Carol, I've got one idea for the Zoom project that will save us money, can you let me know when you've got 5 minutes on your calendar to discuss?"  Chances are you will be ask to sit down on the spot to discuss.

Taking the whine out of the line is not about being less than truthful or wearing rose colored glasses.  It is about being clear on your intentions, thinking of your audience, and positioning what you have to say in a way that influences and engages.

I remain hopeful that the next time I ask my doctor how SHE is, she replies with something like, "Its busy as always but what matters to me now is you.  How can I help?"