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Opera Omaha Reveals Item Allegedly Stolen By the Pirates of Penzance
Omaha, NE - October 3, 2008
Opera Omaha officials confirmed today that the infamous Pirates of Penzance had indeed stolen an important piece of company history. After an exhaustive inventory and forensic analysis of the note left by the Pirates [click here], Kelly Blice, Director of Marketing, confirmed that The Fat Lady, a small doll [link to archive photo] kept in the Company's vault, was missing and presumed stolen.
The phrase, "It ain't over until the Fat Lady sings" [Wikipedia Link] is thought to have been originated by detractors of the operas of Richard Wagner, and gradually became a derogatory remark about opera singers, in general. Over many years, it was used in sports commentary to indicate that a game in a series might look bleak for one team but the tournament had to be played to the end. The Fat Lady ultimately became a derogatory commentary on opera, in general.
"For a while, audiences had the misguided perception that all opera singers were large and dramatic people," acknowledged John Wehrle, Opera Omaha's General Director. "In recent years, though, the influence of televised opera and general move in our culture toward better diet and exercise has motivated singers to become much healthier."
The company has contacted authorities, including the Modern Major General, whose familiarity with the situation and military background should prove helpful, and the Sergeant of Police. "Their advice is to go ahead with business as usual," stated Blice, "so, we will. Consumers should know it's safe to visit our website, buy tickets, and donate to the Opera Council or Friends of Opera campaigns. We're also still accepting donations of warm children's clothing for Operation School Bell [Click Here for Details]."
Opera Omaha hopes the general public can help recover The Fat Lady. "Somewhere, our doll is out there and we do want her back, unharmed. While we may have moved beyond this outdated image of our business," according to Wehrle, "it is disheartening, especially as our 50th anniversary draws to a close, to have this important and irreplaceable relic stolen."
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