A husband and wife are partners in faith.

Maharal explains the power of emunah (faith). When a couple marries, they make a covenant with each other. Both desire to achieve the same goal, but neither can attain it without the other. Both share a common desire to build. Emunah is when two people with differing abilities use their full capacities to work towards one aim. Neither one holds back. The wife will not say, "I'm afraid to be vulnerable, I'm tired of building." She'll be willing to receive and nurture. He won't say, "I don't want to provide. What about me?" He'll give unconditionally. This commitment on both sides to give of themselves completely is what faithfulness is about.

Another aspect of emunah is doing what you can and believing that your partner is doing the same. This is reflected in nature. A farmer won't invest in seeds to plant if he doesn't believe that Hashem will make his efforts flourish. Deep inside the farmer knows he can't make his crops grow. He does his best and then puts his trust in the One above that He will make the crop grow.

Rainfall gives us a similar picture of emunah. The heavens and earth work together. Neither can do what the other is meant to do and only together can they make crops grow. This matching of abilities, this continuum, is where faithfulness is expressed.

Whenever humans are working together towards a goal there are very strong time and place limitations. But in marriage, faithfulness must be there 24/7, no matter where you are. It surrounds a person his whole life. Although the basis of communication is emunah, a husband and wife have a different kind of attachment. Marriage is the widest and most inclusive covenant that can possibly be. Husband and wife are different from each other spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally, yet they must always remain faithful and hold each other in regard. This is absolute emunah.

We bless a new couple, "She'tizku livnot bayit ne'eman." May you merit to build a house of faithfulness. The emunah they have in each other defines their relationship and makes their home a Jewish home. The husband must desire to give his wife what she is lacking and in turn she should turn towards him and tell him what she needs. Whatever he can't give, he must turn to heaven and the Shechina will give it to him in the merit of their emunah. She must use her ability to understand and refine and take what he gives and make it into something more.

In the world at large, men have habitually taken on the role of hunters and women are nurturers. The ideal marriage includes emotional giving, being there for the person, valuing his or her essence, and sanctifying every aspect of the relationship.

 As the Three Weeks approach, we begin to focus on improving our interpersonal relationships. What are some ways we can increase brotherly love?

The Chafetz Chaim writes that if you get involved in an argument with someone and you know you're right and the other person is wrong, rise against your inclination and give in. Tell Hashem the problem and He will take care of it.

The Gemara in Ketubot discusses how a person should praise a bride to her groom. Beit Shammai says to say it the way it is. Beit Hillel says to extol the bride as beautiful and gracious no matter how she looks. Beit Shammai argues, "Does the Torah not say, 'Stay far away from falsity?' " If she is ugly, how can you say she is not? Beit Hillel answers, "Would you extol a bad purchase or denigrate it?" Beit Hillel teaches us that a person should always try to act in a pleasing manner.

The Chafetz Chaim suggests establishing a peace fund. Earmark money for shalom (peace). Then the next time there's an argument you can just take money out of the fund. You won't even feel it's coming out of your pocket because you've already allocated it for peace.

Focus on the good points in people rather than the bad. The Torah commands us, "Do not abhor an Egyptian for we were once strangers in his land." Although the Egyptians afflicted us, we are obligated to show them gratitude. How much more so should we be careful not to despise a fellow Jew. Instead we should focus on whatever good points he possesses.

How we look at something is a matter of perspective. It's hard to separate ourselves from our views and opinions. Therefore, we must make a special effort to train ourselves to always be dan lekaf zechut. If we get used to judging others favorably we'll never tell lashon hara and more often than not we'll be judging correctly. We don't know another person's complete mindset or background. We don't always hear things accurately. If we miss a detail we can misconstrue the whole story.

Chazal say the way you judge others is the way you'll be judged. If we give others the benefit of the doubt then Hashem will act the same way with us.

The period between the 17^th of Tamuz and Tisha Bav is known as bein hamitzarim, or the Three Weeks. This is taken from the verse in Eicha, "Kol rodfeha hisigu'hah bein hamitzarim." All who pursued her caught up to her between the straits. Meitzar refers to a narrow passage with no room to escape. Yirmiyahu tells how the persecutors of Am Yisrael caught up to us in such a place. Chazal further explain that it refers to the time period between Shiva Asar b'Tamuz and Tisha B'av.

The Tur quotes the Yerushalmi, which says that the 21 days between the breaching of the walls and the destruction parallel the three weeks that the prophet Daniel fasted. Hence, we have a custom of mourning during this time. We read the haftarot of impending doom. They foretell of the coming churban. The first haftorah discusses how Hashem showed Yirmiyahu a vision of an almond branch. Rashi explains that the almond tree is unique in that it blossoms before any other tree. It takes 21 days from when the bud appears till the fruit ripens which parallels the 21 days from the breaching of the walls to the destruction. With this sign, Hashem hinted that he would bring about the churban speedily.

The verse in Daniel states, "Hashem swiftly brought the evil upon us because he is righteous." Rav Chisda asks, does righteousness bring evil? Ula answers that it means the churban happened two years earlier than expected. On Tisha B'av we read from Parshat Va'etchanan, including the verse "V'noshantem ba'aretz." You will become old in the land. You'll lose your enthusiasm for Torah and mitzvot. The Torah foretells, "You'll fashion idols and do evil in Hashem's eyes and then you will be swiftly lost from the land." Hashem did an incredible kindness and brought the churban before its time. If He would have waited until the end then the second part of the verse, "You will be speedily lost," would have had to come true as well. The swiftness was not a punishment, but rather a chance for us to repent and rebuild.

The almond tree was chosen by Hashem to represent the kohanim in the story of Korach. Rav Hirsh explains that the almond tree stands out in its eagerness to do what it's meant to do. Similarly, the kohanim distinguished themselves in their zrizut (speed) to do Hashem's will. Rabbenu Bachya explains that young almonds are bitter. When they fully ripen, they become sweet. At first, din is difficult to bear. Yet hidden within is the promise of hope and return.

The Mishna discusses two kinds of almonds, one is sweet and the other is bitter. The Mishna says the inedible almonds are exempt from maaser (tithing). The Gemara however notes that there are different opinions that say that they do need to be tithed, even though they are bitter. Rabbi Yochanan explains that this is because they can be sweetened by fire. The churban came because the Jews became old in their avodat Hashem. By injecting fire, swiftness, and zeal into our avodat Hashem, we can sweeten these weeks of judgment

The sifrei chassidut say that if you split the words kol rodfehah into two words you can read it as, "Kol rodeph kah," meaning 'anyone who seeks out Hashem,' hisiguhah, will achieve it bein hamizarim, in these three weeks of distance from Hashem. When the king is in the palace He is hard to approach. But when the Shechina goes into exile, it is there right beside us.

The days of bein hamitzarim are sad but they are not bitter. We can transform them by infusing zeal into our avodat Hashem and working to actively reconstruct our relationship with Hashem. In this way we will succeed in uplifting this mournful period to one of joy and rebirth.