Why is the mitzvah of Shabbat mentioned in this parsha with a specific emphasis on gathering together? In addition, why is there a special mention of the prohibition of not kindling a fire? Furthermore, in earlier parshiot the mitzvah of building the mishkan is discussed before the mitzvah of Shabbat, but in Parshat Vaykhel the order is reversed. Why?

The Shem Mishmuel explains. In Parshat Terumah the pasuk says, "Take for me a portion from every person whose heart willingly offers." The Midrash interprets this to mean that before the sin of the golden calf every person was holy enough in his own right to warrant the building of the mishkan. In Parshat Vaykhel it says, "Those who are generous should contribute." After the sin, there was a shift from the individual to the communal level. Now only as a nation could they build the mishkan.

Shabbat is the secret of one. During the week nature creates a veil behind which Hashem hides, but on Shabbat, the world, Israel and Hashem become united. Shabbat gives us the power of connection. This is why it's mentioned first. In this parsha, Shabbat comes first to unite the individuals into a group worthy of the Mishkan.

How can we understand how a tzaddik of Aharon's stature helped fashion the golden calf? When Moshe ascended to heaven to receive the Torah, Aharon saw that the people had lost their unifying figure. It was as if Moshe had spiritually left them. They no longer felt bound together with a single minded purpose and goal. Moshe was the soul of the Jewish nation. Similarly, Shabbat is the soul of the world, uniting all in purpose.

Where there is holiness, impurity seeks to get in. Therefore, when a person's soul departs, his body becomes tamei, impure. When Moshe's soul left the Jews, the void he left was filled by evil energies, which created havoc among the Jews. Aharon knew how much Moshe's presence meant to the people. They needed something that would unify them. He therefore told them to contribute gold. Gold symbolizes giving up one's personal aspirations for a higher national goal. Aharon threw the gold into the fire. Fire has the power to purge evil. Aharon thought the fire would refine their desires and lead them back to pure unity. He meant to fashion the golden calf as a harmless statue inspiring in some ways, but not at all idolatrous, but he failed. The Jewish people could not overcome the evil forces that had set in.

When Moshe came down from heaven, he threw the calf into the fire and purified the people. Vaykhel-He then gathered them together. He created a unified community. He reversed the order of commandments and gave the Jews Shabbat first. For Shabbat is raza d'echad-the secret of one. It is the key to our unity and our ultimate ability to build a dwelling place for Hashem in this world.

When the Torah was given, Hashem told Moshe, "Say to the house of Yaakov and tell to the sons of Israel." Rashi explains that the house refers to the women and the sons refer to the men. But there's something deeper. Men and women communicate in different ways. While a woman's manner is soft and understanding, a man wants to know how it is.

A woman's nature doesn't lend itself to struggle and the hard edge. She intuitively turns towards self-discovery, finding the life-spark in her own heart and doing acts that bring her true self forth. She wasn't meant to be a warrior. In todays' society there are women CEO's, women with high positions in the armed forces, women who are as hard as nails. They're paying a high price for this - themselves.

The Gemara says, "Great is the promise Hashem made to the woman even more than he made to the men, as it says in Yeshaya, 'You women of tranquility, rise hear my voice, you daughters of security, listen to what I say.' " Hashem says, you must hear my voice, you must listen, but you can find it within yourself. You don't have to struggle. You don't have to discover it through the kind of competition and battle men must do.

Women have a certain natural closeness to Hashem. They recite the blessing, "She'asani kirtzono," because they finds their spirituality within. They are inherently willing and ready to do Hashem's will. In Pirkei Avot it says, "Make Hashem's will your will." In order to do that we must know who we are and what we really want. So much of the time we're out of touch. We must ask ourselves, "What do I want most?" Once we know that, the next step is to ask, "What is my highest will?" As a woman, the answer would be retzono. I want to be given a path, I want structure. Ideally one should find this in ones relationship with Hashem.

Hashem said, "Fill the earth and conquer it." The way of a man is conquest. It can be through competition, athletics, the stock market. A man gets ahead by choosing his battles. He has to decide who he's going to compete against, what his objectives are going to be. He has to work hard. Because of this when the Torah was addressed to men, the word used was dibur, tell it to them. Make the goals seem one step further than their comfort level, so they will struggle.

In a moving speech to the British nation during WWII, Churchill said, "I promise you nothing but blood, sweat, and tears," and the people were with him because the men and even the manly part of the women wanted struggle. If he would have said, "Don't worry it'll be ok," he wouldn't have bought their hearts the way he did.

Yirat Hashem (fear of Hashem)is the beginning of all things. It says, "The beginning of wisdom is awe of Hashem." Wisdom is the ability to understand the world and its meaning. Yirat Hashem comes from recognizing that the world is a creation on the deepest of all levels. It makes us want to observe, explore and understand. Chochmah is the power of observation unleashed. It involves asking, "What does it tell me? What have I learned?" Chochmah leads to yirat Hashem because the more a person sees the intricacy and purposefulness of the world, the more he stands in awe before Hashem. It is a circle but it must start with yirat Hashem.

In Mishlei, it says, "If you search for it like gold and treasures, then you'll understand yirat Hashem and comprehend true knowledge of Hashem." If you want to know Hashem, you have to search for Him the way you search for money. Daat is a state in which the knower and the knowledge become one. For a man, the way to make something his own is through struggle. But a woman must tread a different path. Shlomo Hamelech writes in Mishlei, "A woman who fears Hashem is praised." Her task is to discover her yirat Hashem inside herself. She must peel away the layers and find it within.

The essence of Pesach is sipur yetziat miztrayim.

With younger children ages three to six, it's easy to get distracted with the drama of the story, so it is important to emphasize three main ideas: Hashem is constantly watching over us, He has the ability to transcend nature, and in the end, justice prevails. The wicked ultimately pay for their actions.

The story of the exodus is rich and complex. Although younger children have surely learned all about the plagues in school, they don't always get the whole picture.

I once overheard one of my grandchildren talking about Avraham Avinu and the tent with four doors.   "I know why it had so many doors. If guests came and you didn't like them, you could make them leave right away from any room in the house." Apparently the teacher got across about the four doors but she didn't quite make the connection about hachnasat orchim (inviting guests).

Tell your children how Yaakov and his children went down to Egypt. Slowly they forgot that they were different from the Mitzriyim. Discuss how we are not like the non-Jews. We know about Hashem and we follow His will. The Mitzriyim forgot how much Yosef had done for them. You can elaborate how a tzaddik is careful to show gratitude while someone who isn't righteous doesn't care to remember too much.

The evil Mitzriyim made the Jews work for them. Pharaoh fooled them into thinking it was a mitzvah. Bring the concept of slavery down to your child's level. "Imagine what life was like for a little boy your age. He would get up in the morning from his bed of straw on the floor. He'd put on his old ugly clothes. He didn't go to school. He had to work hard and even when he got tired he had to keep on going and sometimes he would get beaten. He'd stop only at night when he'd go home to rest and eat a bit."

The Mitzriyim enslaved us because they saw that the Jews had so many children and they were afraid that soon there would be only Jews and no Mitzriyim left. We'd be stronger than them. But the real reason they tormented us was because they were evil. You can be dramatic about the suffering, but save the horrific pictures in the Hagadah for older children. It may frighten the younger set.

Pharaoh got worse. He ordered the babies boys thrown into the sea. At this age, kids won't always understand what death is. You want them to know that killing someone is cruel and that it's sad for the family. But you can't be too graphic. Hashem saw how cruel Pharaoh was to the Jews. He heard the Jews' cries and he selected Moshe to lead them out of Egypt. Moshe was special. When he was born the whole room was full of light. His mother saw that he was righteous, so she attempted to save him.

Talk about some of the tzadikim and tzidkaniyot of the generation. Tell them about Miriam, Yocheved, and Batya. This teaches them that no matter what happens, a person's innate greatness and nobility can still shine through. Batya didn't just shrug her shoulders and turn away. She said, "The baby is crying. I must help him." She stretched out her hand and Hashem enabled her to reach Moshe. Don't talk about how it got really long. It's confusing at this age to think that Batya did something good and ended up looking weird.

Discuss how tzadikim do the right thing even when it's hard. Have them give them examples from their own lives such as sharing their toys with their cousins or offering some of their snack to a friend.