Why did Hashem command us to build the golden altar in Parshat Tetzaveh, and not in Parshat Terumah where the other vessels are mentioned? In addition, since no animals were sacrificed on the golden altar, only ketoret (incense), why was it called an altar?

The Zohar writes that there was nothing more beloved to Hashem then the ketoret (incense). Korban (sacrifice) comes from the root word karov, to come close. When a Jew brought an offering, he expressed his desire to come back to Hashem. However, ketoret comes from the root word kitor, connection, or kesher, a knot. A knot is a much stronger bond. The ketoret entwined us with Hashem in a more intimate way.

The outer altar on which individual animal sacrifices were brought atoned for sins of the body. The golden altar on which the communal ketoret was offered atoned for sins of the spirit, including the sin of lashon hara (forbidden speech). The ketoret signifies unity. Lashon hara creates divisiveness. When a person speaks lashon hara he abuses the part of himself that is most divine, his speaking spirit. The ketoret elevated this very aspect.

When a person brought a korban he was in a way telling Hashem, "I'm ready to give up my life for you. I'm offering up this animal instead of myself." When the ketoret was offered, it was as if Klal Yisrael was saying, "We're not only ready to give up our lives for Hashem, but our personalities, our feelings, our very essence, because you Hashem are more important than anything." It's easier to die for the sake of Hashem's name than to live for His name. When one overindulges, he tends to lose focus of what life really is about. One becomes so totally consumed in the physical world that he forgets his spirituality. When a person exercises self-control, he enters the realm of kedusha (holiness).

The Netivot Shalom explains that the ketoret is found at the end of Parshat Tetzaveh because are supposed to build up towards it. First we must work on the external. Then we can proceed to the outer layer of the inner world, and only afterwards we can enter the inner of the inner world. The other vessels were fashioned before Hashem rested His presence in the mishkan. The golden altar was built afterwards. It greeted the Shechina when it descended to dwell among the Jewish people.

Why is Purim celebrated on two different days?

The Shem Mishmuel explains that when the Jewish people entered the land of Israel with Yehoshua they were commanded to fulfill three mitzvoth. They had to appoint a king, fight Amalek, and build the temple. The second and third mitzvot are connected relted to each other. In order to create a dwelling place for the Divine Presence one must first eradicate absolute evil. Amalek attacked us in the desert. Only after they were defeated did Hashem give us the Torah. Likewise, Dovid first fought against Amalek and then he was given permission to draw up the plans for the beit hamikdash. A similar thing had to happen before the second beit hamikdash could be built. The 70 years of exile were almost over and the Jewish people needed to confront Amalek once again. Haman and his cohorts wanted to annihilate us, but Mordechai and Esther defeated them. After some time, the Jewish people returned to the land of Israel and rebuilt the temple.

If the Torah says appointing a king comes first, how were the Jews able to fight Amalek during the Persian exile when they did not yet have a king? The role of a Jewish king is to create unity. Moshe unified the people and this gave them the power to defeat Amalek and go on to Sinai to receive the Torah. David too brought the Jewish nation together. Haman said, "Yeshno am echad mefuzar umeforad..." (There is one people scattered and dispersed). They are split from one another and from their Father in heaven. This very fact allowed Amalek to gain power. When the Jews first heard of Haman's evil designs, they threw themselves at Hashem's mercy. Mordechai exhorted them to repent and pray. They gave up their sense of self and dedicated themselves to Hashem. Hashem so to speak became their king and this gave them the strength to battle Amalek.

Unfortunately Jewish disunity resurfaced. The second Temple didn't achieve the spiritual heights of the first one. This is why the Rabbis instituted two days of Purim. We celebrate the destruction of Haman and his sons, our triumph over our enemies, our return to Eretz Yisrael. The split, however, reminds us that it was only a partial redemption.    

May we merit the rebuilding of the third beit hamikdash and the complete and final salvation speedily in our days.

In the third part of the megilah, Achashveirosh killed Haman, and Mordechai and Esther were elevated to positions of power. We read how Mordechai walked in the streets wearing royal garments. You could put a lot of simcha into those last verses with songs and dancing. Esther continued to rule and everyone lived happily ever after. That's how you would tell the story to young children.

Of course your children have already heard the whole megilah tale many times in school. Your purpose in telling it over again is to make sure they get the main message, which is that the heroes are Hashem, Mordechai and Esther, and that the Jews' repentance played a pivotal role in their ultimate salvation.

Emphasize that this is how Hashem always saves us. He gives us righteous people we can trust and follow. Show your kids a picture of a gadol (great sage) and tell them, "This person is like Mordechai today. This is who we listen to. They will probably ask about Esther too. Explain that Esther was modest. She wouldn't have wanted pictures of herself all over the place. You can give them examples of admirable women in your own life or of people they know. In the days before Purim, if it is possible, take them to visit a tzaddik or tzadeket so they can see tangibly who our role models are.

The mitzvah of Shalach manot is a great opportunity for self-expression, but for some people it has become a way of showing off their creativity and artistic talent. The spirit of shalach manot was meant to be for the recipient. Wanting to make it beautiful so it will make someone else happy is one thing. But doing it so people will say, "Look at these unbelievable shalach manot. They are so creative," is not where it is supposed to go. Be careful not to let your kids get swept up with the style, which will tell them to have the best biggest most extravagant shalach manot.

Involve your kids in thinking of others. Who would be happy to receive a shalach manot? Who doesn't get a lot of shalach manot? Who may not have cooked food for the festive meal? Sit with your children and ask them specifically what they think their friends would like. Even though it may be a bit of a hassle, it's good for their chinuch totrain them to be attuned to the sensitivities of others

Depending on where you live and what the generally accepted practice is, try to keep the shalach manot down to a reasonable level. Emphasize that matanat levyonim is more important. Let your kids stuff the envelopes with the checks. Let them visualize how happy the people will be to receive the money. Tell them, "Now these poor people will have food for the seudah, because other people cared about them."

At the seudah, the message should be one of rejoicing with everything Hashem has given us. Explaining the drinking to little kids is tricky. You can say, "Getting drunk on Purim is somewhat like what Achashveirosh's seduah was. But we do it now for Hashem, not for Achashaveirosh.

Explain the meaning behind the costumes. Everyone thought Haman would kill the Jews but it turned out exactly the opposite. Instead of being sad, everyone rejoiced. That shows Hashem can make something that looked one way turn out completely the other way. If you have any personal stories of deliverance, whether about family members or other people you know, who were saved from distress or who recovered from a serious illness or who lost their money and ended up regaining it, discuss it with them. On Purim you can show that things aren't always as they look. Therefore, we get dressed up to look different than who we really are.

Imagery is important in a young child's development. Try to move them towards costumes that are positive. With boys it's a lot easier. Among the popular get-ups are Mordechai, a Kohen Gadol, and a sefer Torah. I've seen Rav Shach and Rav Ovadia costumes too. For girls there isn't as much to choose from. I've seen the kallah (bride) and the Shabbat queen. Try to move your girls in that direction. Stay away from the dancers or Japanese lady costumes. Although they may be modest, it's not taking their imagination and elevating it to something higher.

In middle childhood, from ages seven to eleven, children are more familiar with the megilah story but you can still enrich their knowledge. There are some charming books with the midrashim woven into the story line. There's a wonderful series called Malchut with beautiful illustrations. If your kids like to hear stories, open the Torah anthology or the Meam Loez or other books you enjoy. There are some wonderful stories in old issues of Olomeinu and Talks and Tales about different communities around the world who were saved and celebrated their own mini-Purims. There are also inspiring stories of heroism in the concentration camps, how people kept up their faiththat this too would turn around for the good and how Hashem ultimately saved them.

The main ideas you want to get across is the importance of bitachon in Hashem and in tzaddikim. You can also emphasize that when the Jews sinned it wasn't so telling. The seudah was kosher for whoever wanted it. The issue was that they followed Achashveirosh instead of Mordechai. If you have a particularly intelligent child, you can talk about whether people like to do what the goyim do and why. If you wanted to be like someone, how would it be noticeable? Would you dress like them? Would you talk like them? You can be pretty unsubtle at this age but not too personal. You can say Achashveirosh was a rasha (evil person). Why would anyone want to be like him? Because reshaim have power and money and you can take this very directly to today's times. Who is more materially well off, Jews or non-Jews? Maybe non-Jews, but we wouldn't want to be like them.