In Parshat Terumah, Hashem tells the Jews, "Make for me a sanctuary and I shall dwell among them." The commentaries ask, why the plural form? If the Mishkan is one place, the verse should say, I will dwell in it. The Netivot Shalom answers that this verse refers to each of us. Every Jewish home is a miniature mikdash (sanctuary). Building the tabernacle wasn't just a matter of creating a wooden edifice. The building of the Mishkan created an earthly abode for the Divine Presence.

Similarly, the goal of creating a Jewish home must be to invite Hashem into our midst. The way we speak and act should reflect this. We must feel as if Hashem's presence is right beside us.

Rav Pincus notes that one of the greatest challenges of our generation is that although we are scrupulous to follow all the details of the Torah, we don't relate to Hashem as a living personality. We don't picture Him as someone who loves us and as someone we can talk to. We are missing the passion and the relationship. Building a Jewish home involves creating an atmosphere of intimacy and connection to Hashem. When we are excited, it has a ripple effect. If we want our children to develop a love for Judaism, we must infuse joy, warmth, and passion into our avodat Hashem.

When Betzalel built the mishkan he first made the curtains and then the beams. Rabbeinu Bachaya explains that the curtains are symbolic of the heavens while the beams symbolize the earth. Betzalel followed Hashem, who first created the heavens and then the earth. This signifies man, a fusion of body and soul. Ideally both aspects of ourselves should work in perfect balance. The body should serve the soul. It should never go after its own desires.

We often get swayed by externals and neglect our inner selves. Our perspective then becomes skewed. We see beauty as the perfect harmony between the physical and the spiritual. The mishkan represented this synthesis.

The Torah says, "Vayichku li teruma" (Take for me a portion.) Rashi writes, "Li lishmi,"(For me, for my sake). When they bring the items for the tabernacle it must be for the sake of Hashem. Creating inner beauty entails recognizing that our entire lives must be lishmi, to sanctify Hashem's name. We must connect all our physical actions to spirituality. Rav Chaim Volozhiner explains the verse in Yeshaya, "The rain comes down and waters the ground and then returns to Hashem." Everything we do in this world, our geshem-gashmiyut (physical activities), must be elevated back to Hashem.

The Leket V'halibuv notes that the month of Adar is an especially auspicious time to work on the attribute of emet, truth. "Zachor et asher asa Amalek (Remember what Amalek did) appears right after the law of maintaining just measures and weights. Amalek comes in response to falsehood.

The mazal of Adar is fish. The Gemara says that the fishproclaim, "V'emet Hashem l'olam" (Hashem's truth is eternal). We live in a world of deception, where falsity permeates everything. The fish in the sea surrounded by pure water perceive the truth. That's the goal of Adar - bringing Hashem into our midst through the power of emet.

The Aron was made of wood covered with gold. Wood connotes life and growth. To make oneself into a mishkan, one must be growth-oriented, constantly working on oneself.

The Mishna tells us that if a person reads the megilah backwards, even if he reads every verse without a mistake, he has not fulfilled his obligation. Similarly Chassidut teaches that if a person listens to the megilah and considers it just an interesting story, but totally unrelated to his own life, he hasn't performed the mitzvah. The whole point of reading the megilah is not just to retell the story but to recognize that it's our own personal story, the story of the Jewish people, and the eventual story of Mashiach.

The Purim tale is about overcoming Amalek whose goal was to completely destroy us. The whole world was in awe of the Jewish nation and the great miracles Hashem had performed for them. Amalek came and cooled it all off. They let everyone know they weren't afraid or impressed. Amalek signifies the absence of attaching importance to anything.

The Sefer Otzar Hayirah says that the weapon of Amalek is confusion of the mind. A person's purity of heart and Torah knowledge will affect his understanding. Amalek wanted to take us away from the reality that Hashem is in control and that He is always close to us. The way we perceive events and people is based on our own self-perception and interpretations, which are not always correct. We don't have a clear picture because we are not always objective. Amalek disguises himself. He confuses us and tries to sound righteous. Amalek pushes us down and says, "You're not perfect, you didn't do enough, you'll never get there." Likewise Haman said, "All my wealth and prestige is worthless," because Mordechai will not bow to me. Mordechai expressed the opposite. He was appreciated by the majority of his brethren, not by all. He wasn't upset as long as he was doing the will of Hashem. Amalek's negative attitude changes our perspective and changes reality for us. We must be focused on beating it.

Purim comes from the root word pirurim - crumbs. The Gemara writes, Hashem said, "Like the chicken who picks the crumbs from the trash. I will pick out your mitzvot and create a great account for you." Our little mitzvot, our crumbs, are invaluable. We can triumph over the negative voice of Amalek by appreciating ourselves. Every bracha, amen, or kind gesture is precious to Hashem. Every little effort is eternal. When we bring Hashem pleasure, we feel a sense of serenity and happiness.

The mitzvot of Purim are our arsenal. Megilah shows us how Hashem is hidden in everything and how all is in His hands. When we are alone, we tend to give up quickly. Therefore, on Purim we seek to be inclusive. We give gifts to the poor and send food packages to family and friends and celebrate with feasting and joy.

Amalek will not be completely destroyed until Mashiach comes. That's part of our nisayon. We won't completely obliterate him, we won't reach perfection, but we need to do hishtadlut (effort). Even if we're only holding down the fort, but were not giving in, that's incredible. We must cherish every small victory and every little deed. We must keep on growing and striving and never despair. Purim proves that we can prevail.

Purim is the perfect holiday for children. They love everything about it.

The main message we should impart to young children ages three to six is the importance of following the will of Hashem. Although we sinned, Hashem gave us a chance to repent. He saved us because He loves us.  

Purim is such a delightful day. Be careful not to give your kids any negative associations. Saying, "Let's see if our shalach manot will be better than everyone else's this year." or, "Oh no, another charity collector at the door I can't take it anymore," is counterproductive.

Don't take your young children to the megilah unless you're absolutely sure they'll sit through it quietly. Take turns with another mother or ask your husband to read for you. Kids have no obligation to hear the megilah, but adults do. I've been to places where parents brought their little kids and disturbed. It's bad enough that the adults who know that they weren't yotzeh have to hear it again, but there are people who don't know that they aren't yotzeh, they couldn't have possibly heard every word.

If your husband and his friends get drunk, it can be frightening for young children. Have a plan of action if things get out of hand. Drop in with the kids at a neighbor or friend or get an older teenage babysitter to take them out for a while to watch the festivities.

Take time to discuss the story of the megilah with your children. Focus on the hidden hand of Hashem and the heroism of Mordechai and Esther. Tell them how the Jews lived in Persia and how there was an evil king Achshaveirosh who wanted to make himself as if he was Shlomo Hamelech. But it was really Hashem who elevated him to the throne. A lot of Jews, because they weren't learning enough Torah and keeping all the mitzvot said, Maybe Achashveirosh is really great. So they went to his party. But there was one righteous Jew, Mordechai, who warned them, Don't go to the feast. Achashveirosh is evil. He's profaning the holy vessels and wearing the clothing of the kohen gadol. They didn't listen. Still Hashem loved us and He conceived a plan to save us through Mordechai and Esther.

Esther was dragged to the king. She had no choice. She knew that if Hashem was putting her in this situation it was for a reason. Although she lived in the palace and could have almost everything she desired, she never stopped being righteous. You could elaborate on this. She was nice to people, she only ate kosher food, she dressed modestly.

Achashveirosh had an evil advisor, Haman, who he would always listen to. He came from Amalek, who was evil. Depending on how much your kids are familiar with the parsha, you can discuss the Amalek story. Otherwise it will be far too confusing to introduce another account in an already complicated story. Haman wanted to kill all the Jews. He was jealous. He wanted to be the biggest and most powerful. He commanded everyone to bow down to him as if he was bigger than Hashem. Everyone was afraid of him. But Mordechai wasn't fazed. He said, now the Jews will see that Haman doesn't want our good and they'll come back to Hashem.

Mordechai helped the people repent. They fasted and prayed. Teshuva is transforming yourself and becoming better. Ask your kids, "What are some ways the Jews were able to improve?" Let them say whatever they think. Then ask them, "What are some ways we could become better? People lie and hurt others and don't always do what they're supposed to. You could do teshuva and Hashem won't say, 'I don't care, you didn't do what was right.' Instead, He'll welcomes us back. And that's what Hashem did. He saved us through Mordechai and Esther."

Esther realized that Hashem put her in the palace to help the Jews. She fasted and prayed and invited Achashveirosh and Haman to a party and then to another one. When Achashveirosh was in a good mood, she cried, "Someone wants to kill me and my nation." Achashveirosh got very angry and asked, "Who would do something like that?" That spelled the end for Haman.

Question:

Does the Torah say anything about the proper way to raise a child with ADHD? I'm somewhat skeptical of the diagnosis which the school seems to have pushed on my son.

Answer:

Find out if the child really has a problem by having him tested privately. ADHD is definitely over-diagnosed. So many parents think their children suffer from ADHD, when what they really lack is a sense of order in their lives.

Institute set rules in your home. Your child should adhere to getting up time, clean up time, supper time, and bed time. Be sure he has all his school supplies and is dressed neatly and properly. The more order you introduce in your child's life, the safer and more secure he'll feel inside.

If he does indeed have an authentic case of ADHD, it needs to be addressed. Chazal believed strongly that all medical problems should be treated accordingly. Sometimes things can improve by carefully watching your child's diet but that may not work. The radical difference we see in kids on medication is significant, so don't dismiss the option easily. However you treat it, make sure the problem is addressed properly, so that your child can be successful and happy.