The midrash says that at the time of the exodus, the Jewish people were at the 49^th level of impurity. They didn't deserve to be redeemed. Yet Hashem appeared to Moshe and said He would take them out of the land. Rabbe Yochanan maintains that the angel Michael was the angel who delivered G-d's message because he represents chesed (kindness). Rabbe Chanina disagrees and says it was the angel Gavriel who signifies din (judgment).

The Shem Mishmuel explains that the Jewish people were in fact redeemed with both chesed and din. They didn't deserve to be saved. Hashem acted beyond logic with beneficence, much like a father's instinctual love for his son. Although the angels didn't protest during theexodus, they did put up an argument at the Red Sea. At that time, chesed transformed into din. The angels objected, "Both the Jews and the Eyptians worship idols, why are you preferring the Jews?" The Jews needed to be worthy of the miracles, and indeed Hashem waited until they jumped into the sea before he split the waters. Once they deserved the miracles, the attribute of din was activated in their favor.

Even chesed has to have some reasonable basis. Otherwise it's misplaced. The Jewish people were at the 49^th level of impurity. Yet at their deepest core, they were still holy. Hashem understood that this inner spark would emerge after the redemption. In exile, they were spiritually and physically enslaved. All they could think about was surviving. Therefore, Hashem sent the angel Gavriel who symbolized strict justice to punish the Egyptians. When the Jews could finally breathe freely, their latent holiness rose to the surface.

Hashem created the world with a combination of din and chesed. At first there was din. Hashem put limits upon himself (tzimzum) to make space for the world to come into existence. Then he poured forth his chesed. Similarly, the exodus was a kind of creation ex-nihilo. A holy nation arose from a band of shattered slaves. Chesed, Hashem's generosity, took us out of the 49^th level and brought us to Sinai.

The Shem Mishumel notes that the exodus will be a model for the future redemption. It too will be a melding of chesed and din. Hashem waits for us to be worthy. When we repent, we will be redeemed immediately.

When Moshe asked Paro to release the Jews, he increased their suffering. Moshe complained to Hashem, "Why did you send me?" Hashem responded enigmatically, "Now you will see that Paro will send them out and I will redeem them." Why did He send Moshe on a failed mission?

When Moshe first came, the Jews' hopes were raised. They began to think that perhaps they would be redeemed. But when Paro rejected Moshe's request, they reverted back to their old ways. There was a seeming accusation in heaven. Perhaps the Jews weren't worthy to be redeemed. When Moshe said, "You are preventing the nation from serving Hashem," Paro countered, "Who is Hashem that I should listen to him?" Then the mission changed from redeeming the Jews to defending the honor of Hashem's name. This was the basis of Hashem's chesed.

This will also be the foundation of the future redemption. It may very well be that the Jews won't deserve to be redeemed, but Hashem will perform miracles for the sake of His name. At the end of Avinu Malkeinu, we say "Asei imanu tzedaka va'chesed." Please perform for us justice and kindness.

There is a disagreement among the Rishonim whether havdalah is d'orayta or d'rabbanan. The majority of Rishonim rule that it is d'orayta. Are woman obligated in havdalah? Is havdalah a mitzvah of Shabbat or of motzai Shabbat?

Since women are obligated in the negative commandments of shamor, they are also obligated in the positive commandments of zachor. According to the Rambam, havdalah is part of the mitzvah of Kiddush and women are obligated. According to the Orchot Chaim, women are only obligated in kiddush. Havdalah is a time bound mitzvah of motzai Shabbat from which woman are exempt. Based on this, the Rama rules that women should not make Havdalah for themselves.

Some Rishonim argue that although havdalah is d'rabbanan, women are still obligated because it was meant by the sages to be a part of the mitzvah of kiddush. The Mishna Berura cites the Bach who asks, if the Orchot Chaim is correct and woman aren't obligated why can't they make Havdalah anyway? In fact the Magen Avraham and the Bach rule that women can make havdalah. How then do we understand the Rama?

With havdalah there's no maaseh (action). The blessing itself is the mitzvah. Therefore the Rama rules that women shouldn't say it. Preferably, a man should intend to recite it for a woman when he says havdala for himself. The man should not say havdalah earlier because if in fact a woman isn't obligated, he may be reciting it in vain. In principle, a woman is obligated and therefore if there's no man the woman should say it herself.

The Biur Halacha questions whether a woman should say the blessing of Bori meorei haish since it is essentially a mitzvah of motzai Shabbat which women aren't obligated in. Therefore, it may be an interruption between Borei Pri Hagefen and Havdalah. The common practice is that women do say Borei meorei haish.

There's a Kabbalisticsource that mentions that women shouldn't drink the wine of havdalah. Rav Meltzer explains that Borei meorei ha'aish may qualify as an interruption before Borei pri hagefen. Therefore, a woman shouldn't drink the wine. However, the custom is that if she makes Havdalah for herself, she does drink from it.

The Gemara and the Midrashim call Paro's daughter, Batya, meaning the daughter of Hashem. The yud and the heh at the end of her name spell the name of Hashem. With this name, He reveals Himself as above all reality but still within this world.

What inspired her to extend her hand when the basket holding baby Moshe was clearly beyond her reach? She couldn't bear to see his suffering. She is an example of someone who exerted super human efforts and was helped from above. We learn from this episode that if we try our best, we often receive far more than anticipated.

Miriam was the leader of the Jewish women. Rashi says she taught the women Torah just as Moshe taught the men. Women have a different way of understanding and grasping Torah, hence they needed a woman to teach them. In the Zohar it says that parallel to the heavenly Torah academy for men, women will learn Torah from Miriam and Batya.

Miriam had enormous spiritual depth and vision. She waged battle against evil, which is what her name connotes. When she left Egypt there was so little time, yet she made sure to pack her instruments. Her faith was so strong that she was sure they would need it.

Tzipora was Moshe's wife. Tzipora means a bird. Her nature was to soar above the mundane. She was the perfect wife for Moshe. They were both people of great spiritual transcendence similar to each other and dissimilar to other people. Moshe elevated himself to the point that he was in a state of continued readiness to receive prophecy. He had to separate from his wife.

Miriam couldn't understand this because her level of prophecy was different than his. The conclusion Miriam reached wasn't that Moshe's prophecy was unique, but that there was something inherently lacking in his relationship. Consequently, she was stricken with tzaraat, a skin illness. Skin, the largest organ of the body, creates a separation between one person and another. When a person sees another in a diminished way, he becomes in a certain sense lifeless or unimportant.

Although Miriam clearly meant what she said for Moshe's benefit, she was punished severely. Tzaddikim are penalized for infractions as fine as a single hair. Tzadikim desire closeness and an intense relationship with Hashem that isn't blocked by any faults. Suffering purifies their flaws.

In the desert narrative, we read about Korach's wife. Korach had enormous potential. He could have been the Levi Gadol. The Levites had to go through a unique ritual which involved shaving off all their body hair in order to give them a feeling of being one unit. Korach's wife told her husband, "You're a nobody, you're just a number, there's no difference between you and the next Levi. Look how Moshe turned you into nothing. He did it to keep his own position. Why are you putting up with this?" She egged him on which ultimately led to their doom.

In marriage, a husband provides and the wife must take what he gives and turn it into something greater. When the wife sees her husband trying to provide, she feels beloved. When he sees his will actualized in the highest sense, he feels respected. This is how a marriage grows. Korach's wife corrupted her husband's desire to be something. She is the epitome of an evil wife.

In contrast, On ben Pelet's wife didn't argue with her husband. She didn't disparage his dreams and desires. Instead she said, "Either way, whether Moshe or Korach leads, you won't come out on top anyway." It was clear to him that his wife was acting with his best interests in mind. He went inside the tent and she sat in the doorway blocking the entrance. That is how she saved him.

Man is compared to dough. The soul is water and the body is flour. The body is the wife of the soul. Our yearning self which is called ruach is meant to rule the nefesh, the part of us that's connected to this world. A good body takes what the soul offers, builds with it, and turn it into something. The soul says, "I want connection." The body actualizes it by performing mitzvot. The body is meant to uplift the soul, to give it credence and credibility, not to disparage it.

We've looked at three paradigms of great women. The woman who is known for what her husband becomes, the woman who is known for what her children become, and the woman who is known for what she herself becomes.

The influence of careerism is touching the observant community. In today's society, self-actualization is idealized. It's wrong to say, "Who I am to my family has nothing to do with my true self." From the Torah's perspective, these three women are in fact one. Your imprint, who you are, shines through in how you succeed in affecting others.

Question:

My ten year old daughter finds davening boring. I can't think of ways to inspire her except to tell her that Hashem is waiting to listen to her tefilot (prayers)and that she can ask for anything she wants, like new shoes or clothes. Can you help me with more ideas?

Answer:

If your daughter is not extraordinarily spiritual, like most ten year olds, she will not like davening. Accept this as appropriate for her stage of development.

Babies start out completely materialistic and as their spirits grow, they become more spiritually attuned. It'll take a good two years for her to become more sensitized to prayer. All you can do during this time is make davening more appealing and inspiring by teaching her the tunes to some of the tefilot and helping her understand what the words mean. Sometimes communal davening with other people helps too.

Obviously she'll need a lot of affirmation and appreciation, but ten year olds in general don't daven with kavanah (intention), so don't have unrealistic expectations.