The Torah tells us that Yaakov sent malachim to Esav with a message. "I have an ox and a donkey, sheep, and, servants, and I have sent messengers to find favor in your eyes." The word malachim has two meanings, messengers and angels. Rashi says they were actual angels disguised as people. Why did Yaakov find it necessary to send these angels?

The Shem Mishmuel explains that he wanted to help Esav repent. Esav had spent years in the house of Yitzchak under the influence of his righteous father and grandfather and still he hadn't changed. Yaakov felt that perhaps angels could accomplish what others could not.

The Midrash explains the deeper meaning behind Yaakov's puzzling message. At the end of time there will be a war between good and evil. Mashiach ben Yosef is like the ox that pulls the plow. It represents the preparation stage. Mashiach ben David is the donkey that brings the seeds to be planted in the ground. Mashiach ben Yosef will help us remove the barriers of sin that block our access to holiness. After that Mashiach ben David will turn our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh and lead us towards spirituality. Yaakov told Esav, "I have an ox, the ability of Mashiach benYosef to withstand the temptations of daily life, and a donkey, the strength of Mashiach ben David to foster something greater."

Esav had tremendous potential but he distorted it. He pursued physical grandeur and built empires to elevate himself. In contrast, Mashiach ben David will be compassionate and sympathetic. Our glory is found not in victory but in defeat. The Jewish nation was forged in the crucible of Egypt because we learned humility, empathy towards the downtrodden, sharing and giving.

Amalek is the complete distortion of good. Nonetheless the holy spark within him can be redeemed because people are fundamentally good. After twenty years in exile, Yaakov felt he had done all he could to bring Mashiach by living a life of righteousness. Now was the time to resurrect the partnership that Yitzchak had originally envisioned. Together, Esav the conqueror and Yaakov the Torah scholar would lead the world to salvation. He sent Esav a message, "I have an ox and a donkey," intimating, we can work together and bring the redemption.

Yaakov had a plan when he sent the angels. Angels have no ego. They completely submit to the will of Hashem. If this angelic characteristic could enter Esav's heart, he could repent. But Esav never opened the door. He ordered them sent away. Had Yaakov and Esav joined together, Rome would have been a completely different country. The world would have been a completely different place.

This is a lesson for all of us. Hashem sends us angels in the guise of people all the time. Whether it's a spouse, a child, or a friend, if we just open our hearts a crack to listen to the messages, we can fix the failings we were meant to rectify.

 The seven names of the yetzar hara (evil inclination) share a common factor in that they all connote lack. Humans are created imperfect We are drawn towards evil because it resonates with us. The more whole a person is, the less the yetzer hara can dominate him.

The Gemara says that the yetzer hara didn't rule over the Avot because they reached perfection. No doubt they worked very hard to reach greatness, but they had to be guided by Hashem in this direction because each one of them contained, like a hologram, the total of their future descendants. Because of this, their definition of self had to be complete. They couldn not be defined by chisaron (lack).

The yetzer hara appeals to a talmid chacham (Torah scholar) more than anyone else because his self-definition is his sichliut (intellect). Truth isn't transient. Therefore, there is a certain sheleimut (perfection) in sichliut . However, the person learning has to apply the truth to a world full of flaws. Sichliut can be reduced to being defined by the imperfections of the world.

The verse states, "The righteous walk with it (the Toarh) while the wicked stumble." It is compared to a potion that gives a person energy. Where a person goes with it is up to him. It could take him to his death or to higher levels of elevation. Sichliut is enormously powerful. It could lead a person to holiness or to ruin. Great intellectuals veered off the path not just because they were ignorant of Torah but because they used their mind to serve their emotional agendas. Their devoted their intellect to chisaron rather than to elevating it.

The nefesh is divided in two: the animal, instinctive soul and the spiritual soul. The nefesh habahamit of the Jewish people is made from the earth of Eretz Yisrael, while the soul of the non-Jews is made from the earth of other countries. Eretz Yisrael is about elevating the physical. Other countries cannot be uplifted. Our mitzvot force us to interact with the world. In contrast, the non-Jewish perspective views anything physical as an enemy to spirituality. Because Yisrael has to interact with the world, the challenge of being drawn into it is very real. Sin drives away the intellect. The righteous rule their hearts while the wicked are ruled by their hearts. The heart has to draw its energy from chochmah, but ultimately chochmah must control the heart.

Our deveikut (connection) to Hashem is imperfect as we continue to search for Him. Other nations don't feel the gaping lack as much because they have less potential. Virtually every mistake we have made as a people was ideological. We were aiming towards perfection and somehow veered off. The symbolism of the golden calf and the symbolism of the mishkan both reflected the desire to draw closer to Hashem. However, the difference was that one was an act of self-nullification on Hashem's terms, while the other was ultimate egotism on human terms.

Although a person may seem more whole and complete if he fulfils his desires, it's really an illusion. The more a person feeds his evil inclination, the hungrier it gets, because desire is a chisaron. If it is contained and controlled it diminishes. Filling your desires accentuates the part of yourself that is lacking. Starving the yetzer hara eliminates it. A person can sublimate his desires by elevating it, not giving in to it.

The yetzer hara first appears as a guest and then becomes a host. The non-Jews see the yetzer hara as external but in actuality it can easily become a part of our essence. When we make wrong, it becomes habit, which creates desensitization. At the beginning the yetzer hara doesn't have much force because there is an inner mechanism that is shocked by sin. Once desensitization happens, the drive to sin is so strong it becomes almost inescapable. Because of this, the first step, which may not even be a sin, but just filling our inner void with something that isn't holy, could be the decisive step that could lead a person off the right path.

One of the prime expressions of chesed (kindness) is the mitzva of attending a wedding. A wedding is not about having a good time but rather about bringing happiness to the bride and groom by your presence. This is accomplished by speaking and endearing the bride and groom to each other.

If the bride and groom are orphans or impoverished the mitzva is compounded. The Mishna says that there is no limit to the reward for someone who provides assistance to a needy bride. In fact, in Jewish law it is only permitted to sell a Torah scroll for two reasons: to support Torah study and to help an impoverished bride marry.

Rabbi Sacks relates a story that highlights the phenomenal power of chesed. In 1956, an eleven year old black boy moved to a white neighborhood in Washington with his family. He sat on the stoop outside and passersby neither smiled nor glanced at him. He felt very unwanted.

And all of a sudden a white woman walked up to him and said, "Welcome." She returned shortly again with a tray of drinks and sandwiches. That moment changed his life. It gave him a sense of belonging and a warm feeling that someone cared. That young boy was Stephen Carter, who grew up to become a professor of law at Yale University.

He wrote a book called Civility which begins with this story. He writes, "She was a religious Jew and in Jewish tradition such civility is called chesed, acts of kindness, which derives from the teaching that humans are created in the Divine image."

Chesed requires giving to others in hard times as well as in good times. It's a love which grows stronger over time. Rabbi Sacks writes "Chesed is the poetry of everyday life written in the language of simple deeds." It is love that begets love, a gift of self to self. Chesed humanizes the world. Avraham and Sarah brought Hashem into the world without any arguments or theological proofs. It was their acts of kindness which spoke volumes. Avraham didn't know his guests were angels, yet he welcomed them hospitably. This is how a person becomes angelic, by treating people as if they were angels.

Avraham's essence was chesed. Therefore, when he sought a wife for Yitzchak, he looked for chesed too. Chesed creates a relationship, a conjoined we. Material things diminish as they are distributed, but chesed keeps growing and growing and is never given in vain.

We cannot see Hashem face to face but we can see Him in the face of other people. The holiest vessel in the Temple was the ark which had two keruvim (cherubs) at the top. The Torah emphatically admonishes us not to fashion images. In addition the commandment to create the vessels of the Tabernacle came in the aftermath of the debacle of the golden calf. Yet Hashem took a risk by commanding us to fashion the cherubs to teach us that He would only appear when the keruvim were facing each other. When there is unity, the Divine Presence can rest among us.

A chasid once asked his Rebbe, "Why is Mashiach not here yet? "The Rebbe answered, "I will tell you a great secret. We are not waiting for Mashiach. He is waiting for us." Then the Rebbe asked, "What would you do if Mashiach did arrive. Would you not greet him as a long lost friend?" "Of course," replied the chassid. The Rebbe then said, "I will tell you what you must do and teach others too. Regard every person as if he might be the Mashiach. If we could do this, we will find that without our realizing it, Mashiach has already come."

Question:

What role does a close and supportive family play in Judaism? Is it in the spirit of Torah for a child to settle in Eretz Yisrael if the parents who stay behind will feel resentful and unappreciated?

Answer:

Family is unquestionably a Jewish value. The whole concept of Am Yisrael developing into a nation only began when there were families. When Yaakov and his children descended to Egypt, the Torah describes them as, "Ish u'veito," man and his household. From that point on, the Jewish people were counted as families. There were no more individual censuses.

Rav Hirsch explains that different family roles are designed by Hashem to bring tikun (rectification) to each family member. A man gains more by being a father, husband, son, brother, and grandchild, than he would ever gain by just being an individual. Therefore, family is very important. Even people who cannot put this into words know this intuitively. The low assimilation rate in observant communities is the direct result of our emphasis on family. In other communities, the assimilation rate is high, because people develop a sense of wanting to belong somewhere in order to gain that feeling of connection that family should provide.

Family is a means for tikun, not a substitute. Therefore, if tikun can be achieved by moving away from family, that is what the person should do. Our tikun is defined by the Torah. While family closeness is more of a hashkafic value, settling in Eretz Yisrael is a mitzvah that outweighs it.