The Midrash writes that because Moshe argued for seven days with Hashem in an attempt to refuse to lead the Jews, Hashem punished him by taking away the kehuna gedola and preventing him from entering Eretz Yisrael. The Shem Mishmuel explains that these punishments were measure for measure. Moshe was very humble. He thought Hashem was specifically selecting him to lead the Jews because they had sunk to the forty-ninth level of impurity and did not deserve anything better.  He was afraid that his flawed leadership would cause the Jewish people even more suffering and pain. However, he should have realized that if Hashem commanded him to go, he was obligated to fulfill His will. This is why he was punished.

The Gemara in Sotah states that Moshe desired to enter Eretz Yisrael because he wanted to fulfill the commandments that could only be performed in Israel. Rav Chaim Vital explains that the body and soul of a Jew has 248 limbs which correspond to the 248 positive commandments.  Each mitzva creates a spiritual energy and perfects its corresponding soul and body part. Therefore, Moshe yearned to enter Eretz Yisrael so that he could achieve perfection of the soul.  The Midrash writes that if he would have entered, he would have prevented the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash. His punishment was a blessing in disguise. Hashem poured out his wrath on the Beit Hamikdash and not on the Jews. He did not want to lead the Jews for fear of causing them pain and punishment. His not entering into Eretz Yisrael prevented the Jews from suffering ultimate retribution.

Moshe wanted to be the Kohen Gadol so he could fulfill the special mitzvot associated with the position and thereby perfect himself on every level. Moshe symbolizes moach-neshama - the highest level of the soul. Aharon corresponds to lev-ruach - a secondary level of the soul. Aharon was not only the High Priest but he was an ohev shalom v'rodef shalom, he loved peace and pursued peace. He was involved with the people at their level and worked to promote peace among them. Moshe was at a higher level, detached from the people, and could not be as good a bridge as Aharon was to bring the people closer to Hashem.

Moshe's sin was that he had the Jewish people's well-being in mind and did not want to cause them pain. Therefore, he needed to relinquish his longing to be the High Priest for the betterment of Israel.

The Torah does not explicitly command us to be hospitable, to visit the sick, or to bury the dead, although there are incidents in the Torah that mention these acts. We can learn these good middot from the commandments  "V'ahavta l'reiacha komocha" and "V'halachta b'drachav," to walk in the ways of Hashem. Just as He is compassionate so we should be.

Being a good guest means being helpful and showing gratitude.You can show gratitude, and with a hand-written thank you note. Expressing thanks shows that you are not oblivious to the efforts expended by your host. Not only will it make your host happy, but it will also bring you joy, as gratitude is one of the most important components of happiness.

Make an effort to be sociable and cordial to your host, who is troubling himself for you. The Alter of Kelm once stayed at the home of a very talkative woman. While his companion looked into a sefer, the Alter of Kelm sat and spoke with the woman. Later, the Alter told his friend that he was afraid that the latter had committed thievery by keeping quiet. This is because a host expects his guests to talk with him. The Pele Yoetz writes that a guest should attempt to find something good to say about his host's children. This is a way of giving the host pleasure.

The Gemara in Bava Metzia teaches that a person should refrain from telling other people about a host's outstanding hospitality so uninvited guests will not take advantage of him. Additionally, the Gemara instructs us not to exploit our host's generosity by bringing along other uninvited guests.

There are three segments to visiting the sick, enumerated by the Rambam: Providing practical assistance, praying on the ill person's behalf, and giving cheer and comfort. Modern medicine and technology has succeeded in lengthening man's life span.  There are many lonely shut-ins and elderly people stuck at home desperately wishing for social interaction. Visiting such people, who may still be in relatively good health, is also a part of bikur cholim.

Unless you are an expert and must point out a serious flaw, resist the temptation of finding fault in the patient's doctor or caretaker. Doing this can cause the patient's spirits to plummet and make him lose faith in those who are trying to help him. If you see an obvious problem, try to find a solution, but do it in a way that will not cause the patient concern.

Be there for your ill friend, offer any practical assistance you can provide, and above all pray that Hashem send him a speedy recovery.

Parshat Shemini discusses the fire that came down and consumed the korbanot  (sacrifices) on the 8^th day of the consecration of the Mishkan. It then details the laws of the simanim, signs, that identify a kosher animal. Why is this law found here in the book of Vayikra and how does it connect with the previous theme of chanukat hamishkan?

Rav Nebenzhal explains that the Mishkan was a place for the Divine Presence to rest and a spark of the holiness engendered there still exists within our homes and at our tables. This is why the laws of kashrut are found here. It teaches us that we must consecrate our lives for matters of holiness. The foods we eat have a tremendous impact on our ability to cleave to Hashem.  The Ramchal writes that non-Kosher food can negatively influence us and block our spiritual connection. By the same token, eating for the sake of Heaven, and being careful with the laws of kashrut, bring us to greater holiness and deveikut b'Hashem. We can then come to the level of experiencing the Divine Presence as it once dwelled in the house of Hashem.

Question:

Are men better than women in formally teaching Torah? I know women are more nurturing and passionate, but I don't necessarily want to hear what they feel about Torah. I think I can gain so much more from men teachers who have the breadth of knowledge that women don't have. Am I wrong?

Answer:

The level of Beit Yaakov learning today, as opposed to thirty years ago, has changed.  Today women are fully capable of going to the sources and differentiating between basic rules, stringencies, and varying opinions. There are many women who are excellent Torah teachers and can teach solid information without being swayed by emotion.

Women certainly have a lot of passion and are much more suited to giving other women chizuk (support) and guidance on how to best channel their feminine emotional energies. There is nothing wrong with going to a shiur for that purpose alone. The lectures of the great masters of Mussar and Chassidut today, such as Rav Brevda and  Rav Tzvi Meir Zilberberg  are mainly inspiration, validation and direction towards something real. If you want to learn actual Torah, there are many competent women teachers who can teach you Rambam, Midrashim, and Maharal.

When the Torah was given to the Jews at Sinai, Rashi tells us that Miriam taught the women.  There was a unique learning system set up for men and a different one for women. This is still true today. Women can best speak the language of women which is what makes them the optimum choice to teach other women.