Esther, the hero of the Purim story, is a fascinating study in contrasts. If we examine the beginning chapters of the Megilah she appears passive and even somewhat apathetic.  Yet suddenly in the second half of the Megilah, she takes on an entirely different persona. Esther assertively directs Mordechai to gather the Jews and have them fast for three days.  In fact, the Midrash describes a halachic debate which took place between them. While Mordechai protested that the Jews could not fast on Pesach, Esther argued that if all the Jews would be killed there would be no Pesach. And indeed she won out. The Megilah notes further, "Va'yas Mordechai k'chol asher zivsa Esther..."-Mordechai did all that Esther commanded. This is in striking contrast to the beginning of the Megilah where it says, "Es mamar Mordechai Esther asa,"-Esther followed all of Mordechai's wishes. The formerly passive Esther creatively comes up with twelve different reasons as enumerated in Mesechta Megilah, for inviting Haman and Achashveirosh to a double feast. Later on in the Purim story, she convinces Achasheivrosh to give her Haman's house, and then places Mordechai in charge. While at the beginning of the Megilah, Mordechai raised Esther, here Esther elevates Mordechai. After Haman was killed, it is Esther who again approaches the king to have the death sentence on the Jews rescinded.  The Megilah continues to emphasize Esther's active role in writing down the Megilah and establishing Purim as a holiday.

Rav Lichtenstein asks the obvious question, what happened to Esther? How does she suddenly take on the role of an entirely different character? When Mordechai sent Hasach with a message for her to go to the king, she initially refused. Mordechai sent back a message, "Mi yodea im le's k'zos higat l'malchus"-Who knows whether it was just for a time like this that Hashem selected you to become the queen. Mordechai gave her mussar and she took it to heart and was aroused to action. She resolved to drop her formerly passive behavior and use all her abilities to save Klal Yisrael.  This is a lesson for all of us. Every Jew gifted with a unique ability, quality, or special power has a responsibility to use it in a productive way to help the Jewish people.  This is what Mordechai told Esther and this is what we need to learn for our own lives, whether in our professional, personal, or general interactions with people. Mordechai's forthright words catalyzed Esther into action. It transformed her from a passive follower into a valiant hero who played a paramount role in saving the Jewish people.

In his discussion on Parshat Shekalim, the Shem MiShmuel asks two penetrating questions. The machazit hashekel was donated in Adar and was used to fund the new cycle of korbonot tzibbur (public sacrifices) which commenced in Nissan. Why was it necessary to dedicate the entire month of Adar to collecting the half shekel when it could have easily been accumulated in less time?  Additionally, why is Nissan the beginning of the new season of sacrifices? Why do we not count from Tishrei, when the Jewish year actually begins?

The Gemara in Rosh Hashana notes that the Divine machshava (thought) to create the world took place in Tishrei. The actual creation began in Nissan. Rashi adds that when Hashem first conceived the world, he intended to create it with middat hadin (strict justice). However, because man is such an unpredictable and fickle creature, he foresaw that din alone would not work. Although angels are programmed to do good, humans have free choice and are constantly changing. This is our greatness and also our weakness. Life is a road with many curves, ups and downs, and triumphs and failures. The ultimate victory of good over evil, the battle of the inner self, is the ultimate human struggle. Therefore Hashem decided to use an unpredictable system, midat hachesed. A world based on mercy is a world filled with surprises. Indeed chesed is at the heart and soul of the teshuva process. Man can rectify his deeds by changing his ways. Our instability can create something wondrous, a transformation of self. In Tishrei, we face Hashem's din. Not too many of us can pass muster. Therefore Hashem gave us a different time frame, Nissan, the month of chesed, the month when the Jewish people sunk in the forty ninth level of impurity were redeemed through Hashem's mercy.

Life's purpose is to build a relationship with Hashem. This is achieved through movement from above and below which will always affect a response. In Chassidic terminology it is called "iserusa d'letata" (arousal from below) and "isresua d'leyla" (arousal from above).  This is the difference between Tishrei and Nissan. In Tishrei, the month of din, man must take the first step. It is our obligation to do what is right and Hashem responds in kind. Chesed, on the other hand, begins from Hashem. It comes from above.  We have no claim on it. However there is a factor that can trigger it. Hashem redeemed us from Egypt despite our unworthiness because he saw our potential for greatness. He invested in us. This is the chesed of Nissan. It is a month of awakening, a month when Hashem extends us a credit line and gives us blessings, not for what we are today, but for what we have the potential to become. This is a moving testimony of Hashem's love for us. We  actualize His trust by tapping in to our will to grow and connecting to the inner point of our soul which can never be destroyed.

Modesty and chastity are the hallmarks of the Jewish nation. Discarding this can cause us to lose our very identity. Yosef was the epitome of modesty. He remained holy despites the many temptations he encountered in Egypt. Mechirat Yosef was the abandonment of that model. The twelve tribes sold Yosef for twenty geira and each of them received half a geira. With the machazit hashekel, we make a commitment to rectify Mechirat Yosef and to follow the example of our holy leaders. We can then be deserving of Hashem's beneficence.

The month of Adar is dedicated to correcting the sin of immorality, to connecting to the Beit Hamikdash, to bringing the sacrifices necessary to lead a holy life, to becoming a tzaddik like Yosef, and to actualizing the potential Hashem implanted within each of us. In this way we will merit the  heavenly mercy, the isrusa d'leyla, which immediately follows in Nissan, the month of chesed and ultimate redemption.

·Can you play Scrabble on Shabbat? The Chayei Adam's view is that any game that requires keeping score and would normally involve writing should not be played on Shabbat.  The standard Scrabble games which is simply bringing together and distancing letters without affixing them to a permanent surface do not pose a problem with Kotev. However the deluxe editions, where the pieces are affixed to a groove, constitute writing according to Rav Moshe. He also ruled that the game was muktzah.

·Developing X-Ray films creates an image and is prohibited on Shabbat.

·Can you open and close a book that has writing on the side? The Rema rules leniently and permits it. He explains that one is not actually writing or erasing, one is simply bringing together and separating letters. Others add that it is similar to opening and closing a door or window in that it is part of the functionality of the book. However the Levush disagrees and argues that it may be a d'orayta prohibition. The Chazon Ish also rules stringently. Therefore one should avoid doing this if possible. If there is no alternative, one can follow the accepted lenient view held by the Mishne Berura. Random designs on the side of a book do not pose a problem.

Question:

I have a daughter who has a streak of rebellion in her.  She is a very intense, responsible, and caring girl. I know that if channeled properly, she can really use her talents.  However, the problem is that her personality often clashes with mine.  She likes to be in control and so do I. She also has a hard time speaking respectfully to me and will accuse and blame me for things.   How shall I manage this eleven year old who is going on fifteen? 

Answer:

First, count yourself lucky. You have a daughter with leadership qualities who will make a great mother and be a wonderful asset to Klal Yisrael. You do however need to consider how to properly guide her. Give her responsibility. If you like her taste, have her choose the clothes for the children for the next day. This will give her something to do and take the chore off of your head. If your preferences clash, tell her, "I'm preparing the clothes for tomorrow. Would you like to get the shoes and book bags ready?" Be clear about the areas you would like her to take responsibility for and then don't talk, unless something gets radically out of hand. You definitely should not tolerate any insolence. Listen to what she tells you and affirm her words by rephrasing what she said. Tell her she can suggest possibilities, but be very firm that the way you run the house is the way she will have to deal with it. When she wants to offer helpful advice she will need to say things differently. You can tell her, "Let's not hear complaints, let's hear positive ideas. If you want to have a constructive role in the house you need to learn how to talk to me." Repeat this many times. Be very clear that she may not criticize or blame you. She may make suggestions or ask questions. You will listen and if she is right, you will consider her words seriously. Have your husband back you up on this. Be firm but friendly, keep her parameters defined, and hopefully things will work out.