The Gemara writes that the Torah was given to the Jews on Shabbat. This is hinted at by two verses that share the same expression of Zachor, namely, "Zachor et yom hashabbat, Remember the Shabbat day," and "Zachor et yom asher amadata lifnei Hashem b'Chorev, Remember the day that you stood before Hashem at Chorev." Why did Hashem choose to give the Torah specifically on this day?
 
In its account of Matan Torah, the Torah says, "Vayered Hashem al har Sinai. Hashem descended to Mt. Sinai." Targum Unkelos translates "Vayered" as "Vayitgala," meaning Hashem revealed himself. Indeed, according to Chassidut, the Almighty is everywhere, but there are barriers between our perception of Him and reality, which prevent us from seeing Him. At Har Sinai, Hashem removed this blindfold.

Chassidut further teaches that there is a relationship of itaruta d'latata, an arousal from below, which causes Hashem to respond with an itaruta d'lmaleh, movement from above. This is the power of repentance. Our first move is the crack the wall, which causes the edifice blocking our perception of Hashem to crumble.

In Mishlei, King Shlomo writes, "Deep waters are the thoughts of man's heart." Chovot Halevavot explains that just as there are subterranean pools of water waiting to be discovered, there are profound wells of spirituality hidden within our souls.  Latent within every Jewish soul is the ability to connect the Creator. This is itaruta d'latata, believing in our powers and opening ourselves up.

Shabbat is the optimum day to dip into these spiritual reservoirs. When we abandon our daily weekday focus and immerse ourselves completely in Torah, prayer, and avodat Hashem, we are one with Hashem. Shabbat supports itaruta d'latata" It is a day to find our true selves, a day of revelation, connection, and profound elevation. That is why Hashem particularly chose this day to give the Torah.

The Shem Mishmuel explores the paradoxical concepts of yesh and ayin, existence and non-existence. Does man have worth, or is he nothing compared to Hashem? On the one hand, man is the purpose of creation. On the other hand, he is but a speck amid the vast celestial bodies and galaxies spinning around the universe. The Shem Mishmuel answers that there are two ways to serve Hashem. One can serve Him through yesh, tapping into our spiritual powers and elevating them for higher purposes. On the other hand, one can serve him through bitul hayesh, losing oneself in the grandeur of Hashem's spirituality. This is a very high level, one reached by Avraham, Moshe, Aharon, and David.

All of us straddle this dialectic balance. There are times when we need to use our energies in order to achieve great things. We cannot be passive and we must fight to eradicate evil. But there are times when we must be ayin. Trying too much is pride. At some point we must give ourselves over to Hashem and let Him take us where He will lead us.

The six days of the week and Shabbat parallel this concept. During the week, man is a yesh, he toils to accomplish his purpose. On Shabbat we become ayin, null and void in proximity to the Almighty. Spirituality envelops us and we are filled with infinite holiness. On this day, sin falls away, and the barriers separating us from our Maker disintegrate.

Torah also is both yesh and ayin. The Gemara writes that a talmid chacham is in the category of yesh. By interpreting the Oral Torah, he becomes an actual partner with Hashem. Yet our Sages note that in order to acquire Torah one must make oneself into a desert by nullifying one's personal interest and ego. The balance of greatness in Torah is recognizing one's abilities, yet personifying humility.

May we be zoche to the Torah of the six days of the week, and to the Torah of Shabbat, to knowing that we are nothing yet something, incomplete yet holy, and may this new level of awareness help us reach ever greater heights in avodat Hashem.

The first verse in the Torah is, "Bereishet bara Elokim. In the beginning, Hashem created heaven and earth." Rashi explains bereishit to mean, bishvil reishit. The purpose of creation was Torah and KlalYisrael, who are reishit. He further adds that Hashem specifically began with the story of creation rather than with the first mitzva of kiddush hachodesh to emphasize that Hashem is Master of the world and that the Jews have full rights to EretzYisrael. The Torah immediately explores our connection to the land to teach us that we need EretzYisrael to fulfill our destiny of being reishit.

Why does the land of Israel play such a critical part in our ultimate purpose? In Parshat Shelach, when the spies returned from their mission, they reported, "Eretz ochelet yoshveha." It is a land that consumes its inhabitants. The spies noticed many funerals while they were there. Hashem made the natives die so that they would be busy burying their dead and not notice the spies. Why the strange word ochelet? Would it not have been more appropriate to use the term horeget, to kill? The Zohar explains that just as everything a person eats becomes absorbed into his essence, one who enters Eretz Yisrael is immediately transformed and becomes a part of the land itself. Eretz Yisrael changes a person, and the spies were afraid of this. One who ascends to the holy land exchanges his soul for a higher soul. Living on a more elevated plane lends itself to achieving loftier goals. And just as the digestive process involves chewing and breaking down food, attaching oneself to the land involves suffering and hardship.

Hashem commanded Avraham, "Lech lecha m'artzecha, m'moladetcha. Go from your land, from your birthplace." Rav Nosson explains that to a certain extent everyone feels bound by their physicality. Hashem tells us, go inside yourself, see how you can live without the materialism that holds your soul in its grip. Similarly, people are branded by the society they live in. When the holiness of the land consumes a person, he is given wings to fly. New vistas open up, enabling him to come closer to Hashem. Hashem tells Avraham to go the land "asher araeka, that I will show you." When we go to the Land, Hashem will show us how great we can become, what latent potential is hiding within us waiting to be developed.

The Sefer Hayirah writes that one who wants to ascend to the land needs azut d'kedusha and akshanut gadol, boldness, bravery, and great determination. This desire to grow, of never being complacent, can be drawn mainly from Eretz Yisrael. The entire avoda of a Jew is dependent on this. Indeed, the first halacha in Shulchan Aruch is, "Be bold as a leopard...to do the will of Hashem." The Orchot Tzaddikim writes in Shaar Haratzon that the people who will merit to sit next to Avraham in the World To Come will be those with the iron will to come close to Hashem. Eretz Yisrael gives us this power of desire.

The Midrash says that when Sarah was taken to Pharoh, she cried that Avraham came to the land with the promise that he would grow into a great nation, while she only came with the strength of emuna. Immediately, Hashem sent an angel to strike Pharoh ten times. Later Hashem struck the Egyptians with the ten plagues. As Sara left the king's house, the Jews eventually left Egypt. This is the meaning of the statement, "In the merit of righteous women our forefathers were redeemed, and in their merit we will be redeemed."

Mashiach will come in the zechut of emuna. Indeed Tehillim tells us, "Trust in Hashem and do good, dwell in the land and live emuna." Just as every seed has the potential to grow, every Jew has the power to come close to Hashem. And just as all vegetation needs the right sunshine, soil, and climate to flourish, the Jewish people need Eretz Yisrael to blossom and bring out their hidden strengths. There is no greater place for a Jew to grow than in the holy land. The mitzva of challa connects all Jews to the land. It is the only mitzva of the seven gifts given to the kohanim that is practiced outside Eretz Yisrael. At the moment of separating the dough, you can mentally bring yourself to Eretz Yisrael and pray to be zoche to come back again.

May we merit to live the verse, "Shechon eretz u'reah emuna..," to dwell in the land with true emuna.

Question:

  What does Judaism say about friendship? Is my husband supposed to be my best and only friend? Although I have a good marriage, I find there are things I just can't share with my husband, the way I used to with friends.

Answer:

Our Sages say, "Oh chavruta oh mesuta," either companionship or death. Your husband is the one person who can give you things on every level that no one else will ever give you. However, he definitely should not be your only friend. He does not want to listen to feminine chatter nor is he particularly interested in sharing his innermost feelings all the time.
 

Renew your old friendships. Make time for yourself. Go to a play, talk to your friends on the phone while you are doing laundry, straightening the house, or feeding the baby. The social chitchat, personal validation of emotions, experiences and girl talk are meant to be shared with your friends, not your husband.