Last year on December 28th of 2010 New York City and its organizers declared it to be "Good Riddance Day." The idea of course was to allow people to bring all of their grievances of the past and write them down on paper and then throw them into a portable shredder provided at Times Square. The point was to symbolize the act of letting go of painful memories, bad experiences, foolish mistakes, bad relationships, ignorant decisions, or anything that has attributed to bottling up their emotions. They even had a sledge hammer available for those who might require a greater emotional release by being able to crush their grievances rather than putting them through the shredder. One blogger noted that this would by far be his favorite holiday of all those celebrated. For him this is the chance to say good riddance to something hated within his life.
If we are to be successful in saying good riddance to some pain from someone who has deeply hurt us in the past; it will require great courage in order to let go of that anger, otherwise, they will have a double victory. Once when they hurt us in the beginning, and secondly thereafter when we refuse to let go and allow ourselves to forgive them and move on. We must learn to forgive. Until we do that we can never go forward with our life without this chain keeping us bound to the past. Every one of us struggle with broken relationships, people who hurt us, painful gestures, deceitful agendas, friends who turned on us, or some unkind word that was spoken about us or one of one of our loved ones. Letting go of something tantamount as hurt will require a deliberate act on our part if we are to move onward with our life.
Our text for this week's devotional comes from two of Paul's letters to the Corinthian church. There are certainly two things that appear to be true about the human condition here: That of course is that we always need forgiveness, and we always have someone in our life that we need to forgive. Therefore we will look at this great offender to which the apostle Paul addresses in two different accounts that he wrote to this church. We read of an infraction in this first letter to which Paul was very upset that these Corinthian believers were glorying in their "grace" to overlook some man who was committing fornication with his stepmother and allowing him to remain in the fellowship. What does Paul do? He instructs them to come together and put this man out of the church so that by cutting him off from the Christian fellowship, he might eventually come to repentance.
Later on we find in Paul's second letter to this church that they were to reinstate this person who had been put out and accept him back into the fellowship because of his sincere repentance. I realize that many commentators disagree on if these two letters refer to the same person that we are drawing our text from. However, whether it is the same person or not doesn't really matter because the underlying teaching is still the same. Sometimes we must take a strong stance against those who sin. And if that is something we are faced with, then we must also be willing to forgive them later on should they repent of their evil behavior. Let me ask you which is harder? Is it harder to judge sin or to forgive sin? Is it harder to take a stand against someone's sinful behavior, or believe a man has truly changed his ways? It seems to me that both of these are equally hard but in different ways. Both will require courage, wisdom, and love. We will never be more like Christ than when we forgive those who have sinned against us personally.
Matthew 6:14-15 (MSG)
14 "In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others.
15 If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part.
I want us to look at five benefits of forgiveness in this week's devotional:
Benefit #1 Forgiveness Demonstrates God's Mercy
As we learned of how this church had put this particular person out of the fellowship through Paul's instructions, we also conclude that in this they had acted in a righteous manner. But what should they do now with this person afterwards? How is it that we can know when enough is enough? Every parent understands this dilemma and struggle when it comes to disciplining a misbehaving child. Should the child be sent to their room without supper? Reprimanded or even spanked? Is there some restitution that they need to accommodate with action on their part? How long shall they remain being punished? These questions and many like them bring us to the difficulty of knowing when enough is enough.
Here's where it can get even trickier. How do you know the punishment is sufficient? I ask this because parents understand how children can be different in nature, and what it takes to punish one may not be necessarily what it takes for the other. Paul wanted the Corinthian church to know that what they had done was a right thing, but now the time had come to forgive and receive this person back into the fellowship. Forgiveness in this manner shows the mercy of God. Look at what it tells us over in Psalms:
Psalms 103:8-10 (MSG)
8 God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he's rich in love.
9 He doesn't endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever.
10 He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
Many times we mistakenly think that if we forgive someone for what they have done to us that we are going soft on sin within the camp. But think about it, if God treated us the same way we sometimes want to treat others, none of us would ever be forgiven.
Benefit #2 Forgiveness brings Restoration to the Sinner
Too many times we are like the older brother in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). Many times the sins of others disgust us to the point that we really don't want them to say they are sorry because we are so put out with their actions. We want them to feel our disgust towards them for what they have done. When someone continues to blow up their life while neglecting godly counsel time and time again we tend to throw in the towel and quit on these people. Forgiveness at this point seems to be too cheap, too quick, and too easy for someone who keeps making messes in their life. We tend to say to ourselves like the elder brother, "We have played by the right rules; we didn't ask for our inheritance; we didn't go off and waste our part of the estate; It wasn't us that ended up in a pigs pen; we weren't the one who got into those multiple bad marriages; it wasn't our children that got hooked on drugs and landed in jail. We shout out in a prideful manner that we aren't like those people over there! I think we all want to forgive theoretically speaking as Christians, but when it comes to forgiving someone who has hurt us deeply or someone we know, we aren't too ready to forgive so easily. In these cases, truth is we think we are better than that person that keeps making destructive choices that continues to hurt others, especially when it is us that has been hurt in the process. How little we often understand of the "grace" of God.
As you read through the story of the prodigal son who do you think was worse off? Was it the son who left and returned, or was it the elder son who never left, but wouldn't forgive his little brother when he returned home from his escapade? I suppose in the end it was the elder brother who was worse off because he could never bring himself to rejoice in that his brother had returned home. It's like that you know. Whenever someone falls into sin and experiences the punishment for that wrong action, we many times fail to remember from where we came from and all that we have had to be forgiven for. If there can be no hope for the worst of sinners than there can be no hope for any of us. Without a doubt true forgiveness restores a person who has fallen into deep sin. Remember what Paul stated in verses 7 - 8?
2 Corinthians 2:7-8 (MSG)
7 Now is the time to forgive this man and help him back on his feet. If all you do is pour on the guilt, you could very well drown him in it.
8 My counsel now is to pour on the love.
I like the fact that Paul doesn't name this person specifically, nor does Paul cite the sin to which this person fell into. This is very important to witness as to how "true love" for the other person whom has committed an infraction against us, is willing to veil the details so as not to bury or place that person into more public humiliation than they are already experiencing. There was no need to say any more about this for the Corinthians knew exactly who Paul was referring to in his letter. Our forgiveness should be so tempered as not to smear someone's character and reputation unnecessarily just because we can. Love will not smear or assassinate someone's character even though they might have wronged us. True love will never want to humiliate the other person. We could remind the reader here that God's Word teaches that they will know us by our love towards one another. A Christian should guard each person's dignity and help them to their feet whenever possible.
Benefit #3 Forgiveness Demonstrates Obedience:
We can see this by looking at what Paul says in verses 9:
2 Corinthians 2:9 (MSG)
9 The focus of my letter wasn't on punishing the offender but on getting you to take responsibility for the health of the church.
It's obvious that this has two sides to it. In other words will you be obedient to exercise discipline when it is required? And will you be obedient when it comes time to forgive them once they repent? In this case we see forgiveness proves the genuineness of a Christian's faith. Do we love enough to forgive when discipline has led to repentance? Don't think for a moment that this will not be hard to do, especially when this person has deeply hurt you or someone that you care very much about. There must come a point where we are willing to let go of the hurt and pain and reach out to forgive them in Jesus name. We must realize that if God is willing to forgive us of all that we have done, than we must be willing to forgive others as well.
Benefit #4 Our Forgiveness Should Reflect Christ-likeness:
We discover over in verse 10 that Paul uses the words "forgive" or "forgiven" five different times in this one Scripture alone.
2 Corinthians 2:10 (KJV)
10 To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ;
This is basically pointing out that we are all in this together, along with the person who committed this deed. Each of us desperately needs the grace of God in our lives. This man in our text needs God's forgiveness; you and I need forgiveness in order to understand how others need it in their life; and Paul informs them that he too was happy to forgive this person. It has been said that the middle syllable of forgiveness says it all. That word of course is: "Give." In other words forgiveness is a gift that we give to a person who does not deserve it. We don't ever forgive because they have earned it. No! Forgiveness has to be "given" away willingly by the victim. We can never truly forgive like this until we understand the revelation of it found in verse 11: "I have forgiven in the sight of Christ." We forgive because we have been forgiven. It is here that we choose to release others, because Christ has in fact released us from our trespasses. Forgiveness always flows in this manner...from Christ, to us, to others.
Benefit #5 Forgiveness Frustrates the Devil:
The apostle Paul ends with his appeal by reminding his readers of the costliness of unforgiveness remaining in our lives.
2 Corinthians 2:11 (GW)
11 I don't want Satan to outwit us. After all, we are not ignorant about Satan's scheming.
Our adversary seeks to infiltrate our lives through an area we leave unguarded because of unforgiveness. It is here that he sets up a "stronghold" at the rear of our lives where it is out of sight and he can strike us with bitterness at his will. Our unforgiveness towards others allows Satan to be a spiritual terrorist that attacks us on a daily basis without us ever realizing why we are responding in such a way. It is here that we suddenly find ourselves getting angry without a cause. We become quick to criticize others. We nurse a victim mentality in every conversation we have; we tear into innocent people without thinking about what was said; we say unkind things towards another and laugh it off as no big deal; and we are consumed with bitterness of heart. We remain miserable, yet because we are able to still function in life somewhat, we shrug off all the bad attitudes and quick temper as being nothing.
I want to close with these last few comments today in hopes of encouraging you to let go of those who may have hurt you; and that you will choose to forgive them like the Lord has forgiven you. Forgiveness is the Lord's medicine for your broken heart. It will heal the deepest wounds and repair whatever the devil may have destroyed. Forgiveness opens the door for blessings beyond what the natural understanding could possibly comprehend. Forgiveness is God's way! Therefore, Christianity goes beyond everything imaginable...because of what Christ has done for us. If He has forgiven at such a great cost by offering Himself; can we not forgive those who have hurt or disappointed us? Whatever forgiveness costs us in our estimation of what they did to us (and many times it costs us a great deal emotionally), it can never cost us what it cost Jesus when He hung on the cross as the innocent Son of God dying for the sins of worthless rebels as He cried out, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34).
I believe that right now is the day of good riddance to these infractions that you have been hanging onto. However, it will require you're willingness to release them by "giving" them an undeserving pardon for what they have wrongly done to you; and without you demanding that they earn your forgiveness through some measure to which you know could never satisfy or correct the wrong that has been committed. Let us agree to say goodbye to our anger that stems from past hurts once and for all. Let us quit blaming and pointing our finger through some self-justification we use to punish this person. Refuse to allow this spirit of bitterness to envelop your life. Ask God to infuse you with a fresh outpouring of His "grace" in every relationship that you have, and especially those that have been greatly strained. Forgiveness is God's way to freedom. The question is do you want this freedom in your life; or do you want to continue reliving this pain over and over again for the rest of your life because through some twisted self-evaluation it gives you the right to hold this grudge against them? I pray you will choose to release them. It's a choice that you and I must be willing to make though, by "giving" what that person more than likely does not deserve. But let me leave you with this last thought: Do we deserve to be forgiven?
