Luke 11:5-8 (KJV)
 ⁵ And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves;
⁶ For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him?
⁷ And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee.
⁸ I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.

In this weeks devotional I would like to address a potentially infectious character flaw to which has been developing for sometime in the body of Christ, and yet has rarely been dealt with by those who have been intrusted with rightly dividing the Word of God, so as to mature the church. It is this abuse of friendships, and where so many use them for what they can get out of the relationship that best serves their interest, that I lend myself to endeavor to teach this lesson. I realize that this may uncover some things that just might very well upset some folks. Howbeit, the Word of God can be very abrasive when it speaks to the motives and intents of those who are in the flesh (2 Timothy 3:16). I have been noticing this unfortunate display of selfishness and greed within the church and it has sadden me to witness so much of it happening in our day. Just as it says in Proverbs 27:6, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful;" that you will consider my attention to this matter at hand, is one of care for my brethren in the faith rather than just venting about something that I don't personally like.

As of lately I have found myself to be greatly overwhelmed with the many requests to help those regarding their ministries and their personal family needs around the world. It's overwhelming to me because I have such a big heart to help others even beyond my own ability most of the time to do so. I have received many emails and hundreds of requests on Facebook seeking my financial assistance and support of their important work; and I do not consider their work unimportant at all if in fact it is the Lord's work. I have also been solicited through all kinds of flyers, emails, and letters by those seeking to come minister at the church I preside over. Now, for those that I have a genuine relationship with this become's easier to deal with because I know them personally and the depth of their ministry. It's because of these many requests and in some cases marketing tactics as it seems; that I felt the need to address what I'm sure will be interpreted by some as un-Christian; whereas I'm just as confident that there will be many others who will agree with my point of study here completely. In either case, the conclusion will simply evolve around what your current position and intentual motives may be at this time. 

As with any leader there comes a great responsibility to be a good steward of what God has placed in our hands. It is because of this responsibility that it has become very hard to understand the magnitude of these many inquiries whether they are of God, or if they are just people that are desperate to survive, or possibly those needing to have somewhere to preach or minister in order to pay their bills. I know this will end up being a very controversial and upsetting subject for some folks (exposure generally upsets people); and for others there has been the desire to say something along these lines, but being uncomfortable with conflict they wouldn't dare say it out loud (but I bet they think of it just the same); I guess I'm the type of person that is glutton for punishment (though I'm really not). It's possible that I will obviously open myself up to those who will want to give me some spiritual holier than thou rebuke for being so insensitive to the needs of the poor. And quite possibly there will be those who will accuse me of being heartless and uncaring towards supporting someone elses work while believing mine is thought to be of greater importance (that would be untrue of my heart). Yet, I have fully prepared my heart just the same for some of these negative and chastising comments should that be what I get back in response to this weeks devotional. Nevertheless, the truth is the truth irregardless to our personal opinions.

Luke 18:2-5 (KJV)
 ² There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man:
³ And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary.
⁴ And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man;
⁵ Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.

As you have probably noticed I have posted a couple of parables here from the Scriptures to show how persistence can get you things whether you get it from a friend or eventually from a total stranger. The question 
 now becomes: what has motivated the reason for them giving to your ministry or giving towards your personal needs? I can't help thinking about the principle of sowing and reaping as I meditate upon this scenero which we are focusing upon within this teaching. If manipulation through the use of heart-wretching pictures or some heart-breaking story becomes the tool of communication in order to get supporters for their work; will these that are being asked of their service to finance that work develop a weary heart whenever they see you coming the next time? Any student of the Bible knows that God loves a cheerful giver. And honestly, to be a cheerful giver one needs to be free from all manipulations from the would-be needy party. In other words, a cheerful giver will want to support and give to someone's cause when they believe in what they are doing is for the Lord; and this happens wonderfully when they have had the priviledge of getting to know the benefactor intimately over a course of time without the benefactor placing great pressures upon the relationship by what they need.

Let me give you a real-life example to what I mean by all of this chatter. I had a person who befriended me sometime back, and who I truly came to love very much. This person was doing a great work in their country without question. As this person would stop by my office quite frequently, we would visit and talk about ministry and general things that ministers discuss. Yet, something began to be very apparent and that was that each time they stopped by my office they were presenting something that they needed my help in supporting. And because I do care for the works of God around the world I joyfully sowed into that work on several occassions with amounts from my ministry that were quite significant to say the least. Over the course of time, this person kept coming by my office seeking to present some other project that they needed my help with. After awhile I started feeling angry inside for their constant soliciting of my goods, while they exhibited less of a desire that we had a genuine friendship.

Each day that this person would come by my office I would see their car pull up outside and I would see this person get out and head for the door of our church, and I have to admit this shamedly that I was weary when I would see that person coming. I dealt with all kinds of mixed emotions thinking maybe I was out of line for what I was feeling; but I couldn't shake what I felt. I prayed and I struggled with this for sometime until finally one day I addressed them on this type of behavior that they were constantly demonstrating. I wanted to be honest with how they made me feel. I explained that I don't have a denomination or organization to run to for help when I come up against difficult financial needs within my ministry. I commenced to tell them that I did not solicite funds through relationships that I considered to be my friends; and I certainly didn't offer sad stories and such that are often used today to get something that I wanted. I don't believe in the manipulation of Scriptures that implies, "You have not, because you hint not." I expressed that I didn't stand in the pulpit each week and relate to my church how bad things are and if they didn't give certain amounts we would be closing the doors.

I told this person that I desire their friendship more than anything and one without there being strings attached, yet I continued to point out that this person has robbed us of being able to have an intimate friendship because 
they have placed conditions on our relationship. I added that when I have needs I quitely and prayerfully discuss them with God and no other; and after these many years I have always witnessed our needs have been met even when sometimes it was at the very last moment. But God was always faithful; and none of my friends have ever felt the pressure of our friendship being weighted down with my constant needing something from them. I explained that we should take these matters privately to the One who promised to supply all of our needs and break off of depending on people to meet those needs. I told them that I understood full well that God moves on people to help others, which affords us all to share with one another the blessings to which God puts in each of our lives. Yet, I am convinced that we are losing faith in people simply because we put too much emphasis on them being our supplier rather than asking God for what we have need of. It's awkward and many times its impossible to concieve that we are expected by so many to meet these demands that are being asked of us.

However, it's a whole nother matter when man coerces us to give, rather than the loving Father who moves on us out of love for His people, and out of a willing 
desire on our part which has not been manipulated by some pretended friend. God receives real glory when He moves on me to give to another person that they and only God knew anything about. They will worship God genuinely for His watchful care over them in their time of need, and they will also thank God for the great friendship that He has brought into their life through you the cheerful giver. I believe that this is God's way of blessing us that adds no stress with it. Relationships are the most important thing that we have in this life, and yet it is the most abused part of humanity. Did you know that after that conversation this person has not contacted me since? I understand that you will never lose your reward in what you have sowed out of love towards another; but one can not avoid the crushing 
feeling when they realize that the relationship to which they thought they had was only a stepping stone for someone's greedy gain. Ouch! I know, right?

What I have generally discovered happening through this fleecing that is going on in the house of God, is that intimate relationships are being forfieted for the price of an immediate bowl of soup today. Relationships are neglected and the greater weight and value is being placed on the gift. We see this happening in every facet of the church. People promoting their gifts so as to be rewarded personally, rather than realizing that their gift is there to benefit others. I hear it all the time just how people have become so weary with all of the tricks and gimmicks being used to collect a would-be gift from them. The misuse of relationships has become the framework for manipulating others so as to build our private intitities rather than building for kingdom purposes. This has contributed to the failure in discerning properly the body of Christ, where we are now creating wrong motives within the giver and the recipient alike. We are instructed from Scripture to owe no man nothing but love. Yet, we have all felt the weight of someone's words that implicated that we owe them something to their choosing; rather than it being something that we wanted to do for them without their hinting about it. The sad part is, if we don't help them when they suggest that we do so, then we are called in to question to our Christianity or our love for people. 

I 'm to the belief that this same selfish method is being applied to the relationship with God by many of His own children today, especially when they don't get their way or what they want from Him. What do I mean by this? Well, consider the many attempts that we often barter and try to manipulate God to get Him to do what we want instead of respecting His purposes for what we best need. I dare say, that there are many who merely have a relationship with God as long as He is meeting their needs and personal wants. I will even dare go further in this thesis to which we are studying to be so bold to insinuate that there are some ministers who attempt to manipulate God and brother alike to acheive personal goals as well. Deeper still in our subject at hand; if the Scriptures say "How can we say we love God whom we have never seen, and yet not love our brother whom we see every day;" then it becomes clear that the way we treat our brothers is a revealing picture to how we really treat God. I want to believe for the most part every believer loves to give and help others who are in need. But fewer find the joy of giving cheerfully when it is being dictated by the one who wants something out of us. And this has become the basis for many friendships to which they wish to have with those that they feel can meet a need in these particular cases. 

Relationships are very important, in order for us to truly know those who labor among us (1 Thess 5:12). We are commanded to know their agenda or motives in order that we may know whether they be with us or not (1 John 2:19). We all have been solicited by the posers of light (and who are not of the light) who use the internet to safely prey from a distance on this Christian love that we believer's possess; and they are well rehearsed on how to manipulate the tenents of our faith in order to get what they want out of us. Their ministries are unproven because they have no relationship with anyone to which can validate legitimacy of that work they seek your support. It is a true statement that giving is the way of a believer without a doubt. Scriptures teach that what we have freely received that we in turn are to freely give (Matt 10:8). And we all know that God's nature is to give unconditionally, for He gave His only begotten Son; therefore we that are His children ought to be givers too! No arguement from me on this. So, here lies the difficulty for all of us that desire to be like Him. How do we know the difference between those that are legit or false? The only way that we can know: is by their love towards one another. Love can't fully be 
realized without a true relationship that intimately
spends time together. So, are we not to help the stranger then? Of course we are when we can! However, we should be led of the Spirit regarding every thing we do. Did not Christ Himself tell us that He never did anything accept what His Father showed Him? We too must follow His instructions for He alone understands the intents of hearts better than us.