Colossians 3:18-21 (KJV)
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Our devotional for this week points to a subject that I believe is the most crucial for the church to acknowledge honestly with all of its attention in order that it may once again find its divine roots pertaining to the traditional family. Clearly it is the erosion of the family that has caused everything else in our world to be infected negatively. In a conversation with a pastor friend of mine it was shared that at one time he had six families getting a divorce. I thought about this as I listened to him share this heart-breaking set of circumstances and realized that all of our churches are secretly eroding in much the same way without us even knowing it. They generally go without notice until things have escalated to such proportions that usually the terminal damage has been done leaving little anyone can do.
 
The text above is a critical passage of Scripture, no matter the generation. This is simply because every generation witnesses an attack upon the union of a husband and wife and its family members. Christ and Christ alone must be at the center of every family if it is to survive the attacks made against it. And it is not enough for one or two members of the family to be obedient and committed to Christ; every member has to choose to make Christ the center of their life. One disobedient and unfaithful member dramatically affects the union of that family unit by introducing trauma, pain, and often destruction to the family. Therefore, this is the critical importance of this discussion on the Christian and the family. Let us now go to the "Source" for establishing the right truths concerning the traditional family. The reader needs to understand that the family has been in the crosshairs of our adversary the devil since the beginning of time and he continues to fragment this unique and special institution that God Himself ordained to be the structure for blessing this world. Our text will begin with the wives and follow to the husbands and the children; so let us start there and see what God has to say about where we have arrived to in the 21st Century family. 
 
I.   (3:18) Wives

Christian wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands. This is the only fitting or right thing to do. Scripture pulls no punches: it tells the wife exactly what the Lord expects. The husband's turn comes in a moment, but for now we will look at the Lord's "will" for the wife. His will involves two striking points.

    1.     First, Christian wives are to submit themselves to their husbands. The word "submit" in this Scripture means to subdue and subject in obedience.

If we look at the Vine's Expository Dictionary it points out that the word "submit" in this passage is primarily a military term meaning to rank under. It carries the same meaning as someone who is an obedient citizen under their government. In modern society this is a very strong topic to deal with; in fact, it is too strong for many. Many reject the idea to a woman's subjection to a husband as being totally outdated, and old-fashioned. Some will even react in anger and hostility towards the Word of God and to those who preach this position that wives ought to hold. Are they right? Has Scripture gone too far in declaring that wives should be subject to their husbands? Has God made a mistake within the order of the family? For many Christians, the answer is obviously no. The problem is not in what God has said, but in our understanding of what He has said or in our rebellion against what He wills. Any wife who reacts to God's command negatively is reacting either because she does not understand what God is saying or is just unwilling to give her life to God and follow Him as He says. What does God mean by subjection anyway? Well, I will tell you this, that God does not mean it in a dictatorial subjection.
 
* That a wife is to subject herself to a tyrant.
* That a wife is to submit herself to the demands of a husband who 

acts like a beast.
* That a wife is to be a slave or footstool for the husband.
* That a wife is to serve her husband without restraint.                    
* That a wife is to be treated as inferior to her husband.

What God simply means by the word subjection is "order, cooperation, relationship, and partnership; it is the way a husband and wife are to walk together throughout life. Every particular body of people even when that body is only two people must have a leader who takes the lead in plowing through the wilderness of the world and its trials and temptations and difficulties. Therefore, between these two, wife and husband, one of them has to be the primary leader. God's order for the two is that the husband takes the lead. Let us now look at the second point that our text reveals.
 
 2.     Christian wives must submit because it is the only fitting thing to do. The word "fitting" means the right thing to do. Why is it the only fitting and right thing to do? It is not because the husband is superior and the wife is inferior as a human being. The reason is because the wife is in the Lord. She has surrendered her life to live in the Lord and to love and follow Him and to witness for Him by living just as He says to live. Therefore, when the Lord says that it is His will for her to submit to her husband, she submits. She submits because the Lord tells her that submission is the way He wants her to live with her husband. Again, submission is simply:
 
* God's order for the family.
* It is the relationship, cooperation, and partnership that is to exist 

   between the wife and husband as far as God is concerned.

I realize there have been many tragedies in our world today that has suppressed different races and genders from excelling to their fullest potential. And because of this I am certain that is why the extremism of these people breaking out into a new found liberty can often overstep humanly speaking into something other than what was intended by God. I remember when I was a youngster a song that came out that glorified feminism by the title, "I Am Woman." It was the epitome of the feminism movement of that time which was in total defiance against the male species. They even burned their bras as a show of utter defiance to their society that never again would the man rule the world, nor tell them what to do. I must admit now over the years I can definitely tell that the female gender has succeeded in this advancement to undermine the order of God and His choice to who He wants to lead the family. I don't mean to imply that man hasn't made his own contributions to the collapse of this divine institution either, as I will point this out when I deal with the husbands. But, before we do let's look at the Scriptures further as it speaks concerning the wives.
 
"And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband" (1 Corinthians. 7:10).

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord"                        (Ephesians 5:22).

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord"                 (Colossians 3:18).

"Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things"              (1 Timothy 3:11).

"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children" (Titus 2:4).
 
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation [behavior] of the wives"                (1 Peter 3:1).
 
 
II.   (3:19) Husbands      

A Christian husband is to love his wife and be not bitter against them. This command should eliminate all opposition and reaction to the command of God on subjection given to the wives. Why? The word "love" is not only the love of affection and feelings, but the agapē love of God Himself. The Christian husband is to love his wife just as much and in the same way that God has loved us. Agapē love is:

* A selfless and unselfish love.
* It is a giving and sacrificial love.
* It is a love of the will as well as of the heart.
* It is a love of commitment as well as of affection.
* It is a love that works for the highest good of the wife.
 
The practical application is that the husband does not seek to have his wife fill his needs, desires, comfort, and interests; but he seeks to meet, nurture, and nourish all these for his wife. It is God's will for the husband to totally sacrifice himself for his wife. And note: he is to do it without bitterness. Wives are just like husbands; they sometimes fail to submit; and when they fail, the husband tends to become bitter or resentful. It is the very nature of men to sense resentment or bitterness when they are not respected; therefore, the Christian husband must fight against this temptation. A husband is to love sacrificially even if the wife does not deserve to be loved and is utterly unworthy of being loved. Husbands are to obey Jesus Christ regardless. This is the will of God.
 
Meditate. Think what an enormous difference would exist between husbands and wives who loved and submitted as Scripture taught.
 
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25).

"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered" (1 Peter 3:7).

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

"Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth" (Proverbs 5:18).

There has never been a more damaging breakdown in human nature than for the traditional family to lose its divine order and its compass for navigating safely through this turbulent world to which we live. The husband has lost his way through the world's redefinition to who he is. You can't turn on the television and not experience negatively how Hollywood is portraying the roles of family members. Every sit-com or drama practically has the gay lifestyle within its script so as to desensitize our values that we may more readily accept these destructive standards of living in our new age. Women are dominating on the big screen and basically belittling the role of the man and have now become the new power in charge. Where has the man gone and why has he lost sight of his God given leadership role? Is there a conspiracy going here? Has the adversary effectively and permanently removed the order of how God said it is supposed to be?
 
If we expect to see the traditional family regain its divine status of influence and blessing then it will need to go back to the original blueprint of God's Word. For many this will never happen for they are convinced that the times have changed for the better and to go back in their words to the "Stone Age" is to betray their freedom of no restraints. I've looked at the statistics like many of you and have discovered that the percentage of broken families is beyond the imagination. Why is this happening? It is because we have changed the Word of God to fit our reckless and obese appetites of liberty and therefore refuse to retain the knowledge of His truth for knowing our true role as a member of the family. Man has become emasculated by his own omission to follow the plan of God or allowed others to relegate who he is. Either way he has lost his identity. And without a determined and purposeful turnaround on his part to reach for God's pattern he will continue to lose more of himself. God's Word has the perfect description of the role of a father; dare to emulate it and discover its powerful force to raise you up to the leader that you born to be.

III.    (3:20) Children

The Word of God tells the children to obey your parents in all things. The word "obey" means to heed, hearken, comply, and follow the directions or instructions of some guide. When parents guide and direct a child, the child is to obey. And note: he is to obey "in all things." How about the terrible problem of sinful instructions sometimes given to children by abusive parents? This is not what the Scripture is talking about here. (If you look at Ephesians 6:1-3 it discusses the topic of child abuse.) The Scripture in our text is talking about the normal day to day instructions and guidance which parents give to children. Children are to obey their parents in all instructions. What happens when older children have different opinions? Those moments when they feel like they should be able:

* To have something
* To do something
* To go someplace
* To come in late

Differences will always arise in the home, and yet God says that the child is to obey in all things. Does this mean the parent is always right? No. It means that the child has a unique opportunity to learn discipline, control, and order. When they go out to face life alone without their parents, they are going to be facing a world that is:

·  self-centered
·  demanding
·  corrupt
·  evil
·  sinful
·  powerful
·  competitive
·  threatening
·  dangerous
·  authoritative

The child has to be prepared, and one of the major preparations is that of discipline or control. When the child becomes an adult, he will have demands made upon him, some of which will be unjust and unfair. He will have to obey the demands in order to survive in this corruptible world. It is up to the Christian children to learn to obey and follow instructions now while they are still at home. They are to use the instruction of their parents as the training ground for the future of their adulthood. The more obedient the child, the more disciplined and controlled and prepared they will be to face life when they go out to face the world. Note one other point: the child's obedience pleases the Lord. The Lord has one primary objective for the child: to prepare him to be the most balanced and productive adult he can be. Therefore, when the child obeys his parents, the Lord sees the child being disciplined and controlled; He sees the child preparing himself to become a strong adult. Therefore, the child's obedience pleases the Lord. Look at the following Scriptures:

"For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death" (Mark 7:10).

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right" (Ephes. 6:1).

"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord" (Col. 3:20).

"My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother" (Proverbs 1:8).

"My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of the mother" (Proverbs 6:20).

"My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee" (Proverbs 7:1).

"A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother" (Proverbs 10:1).

"Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right" (Proverbs 20:11).

"Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old" (Proverbs 23:22).

"Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them" (Eccles. 12:1).
 
Conclusion: I believe that if we are to see anything worth while change in our society it will first have to start at the home level. If that home continues to be established based on the humanistic principles that are being forced down our "proverbial throats" then we will see our communities continue to slide deeper into tragic and often uncontrollable events filled with disaster. I'm not sure exactly why much of the Christian community today does not feel that things are really all that bad concerning the family; unless of course they are possibly deceived in believing the answer for the struggle is to just pretend it will all work out by itself. If this is the case, than the family hasn't even begun to see the dismantling of how far it will unravel from its intended purpose. Pray for the traditional family and then look into God's Word to rediscover your role in it based from the truth; and here I believe things will be greatly improved within this world. One family at a time moving in the right direction can begin a ripple that's sure to gain momentum and change this world for the better. However, it will come with great opposition for those who initiate the recovery of the traditional family. Contend for the original faith and fight the good fight of faith. Our families are worth it!