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May 2012 Newsletter


I was actually hoping to be sending you this update from a recovery room in a hospital, but the surgery to reconnect my colon was delayed. Could be worse, I suppose. Actually, a funny thing happened last week. I was in a shoe store when the 70 year old lady to my left decides to strike up a conversation... "My husband was in the '56 Olympics; he was a fencer, and I was in an off-Broadway show...I was only eighteen at the time..." I'm smiling, being polite...  

"And we have three children and 14 grandchildren... " ...when my stoma (colon sticking out of my left side in the bag) FARTS. And not just a rectum fart, it's more like a Bronx cheer. Really loud, like purse-your-lips and blow loud at a New Yorker. The lady looks around, and I'm smiling politely, acting like I can't hear anything, so she continues yapping about her life -- and my stoma keeps farting the Bronx cheer, like my colon's annoyed at the lady and wants her to know it. No smell, just compressed air blown forcibly into my bag -- which is inflating! 

Fortunately the salesman returned before it floated me out the store. Guess I get to enjoy the sounds and smells another week...enjoy the update.

-Steve Alten


Looks like something out of a DOMAIN movie:

Daytime Fireball Seen Over San Antonio, TX and Surrounding Areas - April 2, 2012
Daytime Fireball Seen Over San Antonio, TX

Read the story here...


Will there be a DOMAIN movie before December 2012?
DOMAIN - Steve AltenThree years ago I optioned the DOMAIN dramatic rights to a film company out of Columbia that has done a few low budget, hi-octane features. DOMAIN would be a big fish for them, but they do quality work. According to their lead producer, they'd film in June and release in November (English, no subtitles). Fingers crossed, updates in June.
Big recommendation for a great read:

Differential Equations  by Lou Aronica & Julian Iragorri  Differential Equations  (by Lou Aronica & Julian Iragorri) is the story of Alex Soberano, a contemporary man in crisis. A tremendously successful New York businessman, Alex finds it difficult to embrace joy and accept love. When his life threatens to boil over, he escapes for a brief respite on the West Coast. What waits for him there is something he never could have imagined. Intertwined with Alex's story are the stories of three people from different times and places whose lives affect him in surprising ways: 

  • A woman from the South American city of Anhelo in 1928 that everyone knows as "Vidente." For decades, Vidente, has been one of Anhelo's most celebrated citizens because she has the ability to read colors that speak of a person's fate. However, during one such reading, she sees her own future - a future that includes her imminent death.
  • A man named Khaled who left his home in Bethlehem in 1920 to seek fortune in the South American town of Joya de la Costa. He has barely begun to gain a foothold when he learns that the wife and three children he left behind have been murdered. When a magical woman enters his life, he believes that destiny has smiled on him. However, destiny has only just begun to deal with Khaled.
  • A nineteen-year-old student named Dro who flies from the South American country of Legado to Boston in 1985 and immediately walks onto the campus of MIT expecting instant admission. Dro's skills at mastering complex ever-changing differential equations intrigues the associate admissions director. However, the person he intrigues the most is the celebrated US ambassador from his country, and his relationship with her will define his life. How the stories of these four people merge is the central mystery of Differential Equations.

Find it on Amazon...

 Book Recommendation #2 - Backtrack:

Backtrack by Fred CovitzThe latest Writing Coach client to be published is Fred Covitz. Backtrack is a fast-paced, action-packed, spy-fi novel that mixes the wonder of time travel with the horror of terrorism. When the hero is mysteriously given a device allowing the bearer to travel back in time, he inherits the dubious task of preventing the United States from suffering a terrorist attack of cataclysmic proportions. With this device, and a few other tricks up his armor-protecting sleeve, he must backtrack through a myriad of dangerous situations to discover the cause of the disaster. But finding the cause is only half the problem...he must prevent it.


Find it at Amazon...

Massive Great White - still just a MEG SNACK
Two fishermen have caught one of the longest great white sharks ever recorded. The shark, nearly 20 feet long and weighing one ton, reportedly was caught in a net in the Sea of Cortez in northwestern Mexico. Thankfully, for their sake, the massive shark was dead when they brought it to surface. The fishermen, named Guadalupe and Baltazar, were awestruck by the size of the beast. "Then we thought, what are we going to do?" said one. The two towed the dead shark to the beach with their 22-foot boat. Dozens of people then helped them drag the carcass onto the sand. 
Thanks to John LeBlanc for sending me the news!
Albino Killer Whale Spotted
Now imagine a 60-foot albino Great White!
Albino Killer Whale Spotted
Click to watch Video
Living Tips - Restore Your Good Credit
1st Rate Financial
Most consumers do not track their credit reports on a regular basis and during the process of purchasing a home or car discover disastrous information that negatively impacts their ability to secure the financing they seek. Recent studies have shown that more than 70% of all credit reports contain at least one error.  One error could potentially cost a consumer thousands of dollars. 1st Rate Financial was established to help consumers exercise their legal rights under the Fair Credit Reporting Act, to dispute the inaccurate and unverifiable information on their credit reports and restore good credit. We not only help you create a better credit record but teach you how to maintain it. Call 561-852-4905 or e-mail Steve Leifer at [email protected] (I have known Steve Leifer for many years and he is as honest and hardworking as they come - Steve Alten)  www.1stratefinancial.com   "A" Rated with the B.B.B.
Meg mini-sub?
The Seabreacher X 
Is this a sneak peek at Jonas's mini-sub in MEG! I don't know BUT I WANT ONE! 

Joke of the Month

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood-curdling screams.  "Don't worry about that," says St. Peter. "It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings." The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation.   A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams. "Oh, my Goodness," says the old lady, "now what's happening?"  "Not to worry," says St. Peter. "She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo."  "I can't do this," says the old lady. "I'm going to hell." "You can't go to that nasty place," says St. Peter. "You'll be raped and taken advantage of." "Maybe so," says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that."




*IF YOU HAVE A JOKE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, please e-mail to me at [email protected] Put JOKE in the subject line.

Recipe of the Month:

Holiday Chicken Salad
Holiday Chicken Salad

4 cups cubed, cooked chicken meat

1 cup mayonnaise

1 teaspoon paprika

1 1/2 cups dried cranberries

1 cup chopped celery

2 green onions, chopped

1/2 cup minced green bell pepper

1 cup chopped pecans

1 teaspoon seasoning salt

ground black pepper to taste 


In a medium bowl, mix together mayonnaise with paprika and seasoned salt. Blend in dried cranberries, celery, bell pepper, onion, and nuts. Add chopped chicken, and mix well. Season with black pepper to taste. Chill 1 hour.


Nutritional Information:

Calories: 315. Total Fat: 23.1g. Cholesterol: 42mg.


Stay well, stay safe and know this author really appreciates you. And please purchase copies of PHOBOS: Mayan Fear & GRIM REAPER: End of Days - I guarantee you will enjoy them!

Steve Alten, Ed.D.