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The LOCH Character Contest
That's right, we're talking sequel, and I will need characters, so now's your last chance to be immortalized between the pages and on kindle monitors everywhere!

www.SteveAlten.com and click on the LOCH CONTEST link. Upload the trailer to your YouTube page and spread the link around.

BE SURE to send the link to Stan Tremblay, the contest judge at
[email protected] so he can track your views. The top 30 viewed uploads will be characters in The LOCH-2.

It only takes 5 minutes to post the movie on YouTube or a website, but it takes some creativity to NAME THE TITLES to entice people to watch. The contest runs from January 1, 2012 thru April 1, 2012. Anyone whose combined uploads track over 1,000 hits will receive a personalized signed MEG poster.

March 2012 Newsletter


March 2012 UPDATE


I'm grateful to be able to compose this newsletter as I almost died the week of Valentine's Day. I woke up Tuesday Feb. 14 with severe abdominal pain and bloating. Hoping it was just an upset stomach, I took over-the-counter meds but had no relief. Took a nap, then went to Urgent Care around 5 PM. They suspected diverticulitis, which I have had three flare-ups over the last twelve years. Diverticulitis occurs when pouches form in the wall of the colon. If these pouches get inflamed or infected when feces get trapped, bacteria can grow, which leads to inflammation or infection. I woke up Wednesday in severe pain and went to the Emergency Room, expecting to receive an IV of antibiotics. They did a CAT scan and found a 2 cm hole in my sigmoid colon -very dangerous as the hole was leaking waste into my body! Emergency surgery was scheduled, the surgeon shocking me further by telling me how bad it was and that I would awaken with a colostomy bag, which I would need to wear 3-6 months before more surgery could reverse it. "Any good news," I asked, in a state of shock. "Yes, I am going to save your life."  


I spent seven miserable days in the hospital, a tube running from my stomach out my right nostril into a vat of green goo. I was unable to eat or drink for the first five days. As I type this passage, I am home, slowly regaining my strength and detoxing from all the nasty anesthetics and drugs. There's a long road ahead, but I expect to recover and am grateful to still be around. Please forgive the shortness of this newsletter and appreciate you more than ever.  


Your friend, 

Steve Alten

How really deep is the Mariana Trench? 

Mariana Trench Pretty darn deep, according to this new comparative chart sent in by Rich in the UK 


 Read the story...

MEG: ORIGINS - Available again on all e-book formats and your computer
MEG Origins - Steve Alten Life is too short, splurge on the .99 cent MEG prequel. To get a free app to upload the book to your computer.

Recommended Reading: The Ice Gorilla by Mike Esola 

Ice Gorilla When Dr. Will Freeman, a struggling, widowed university professor, is laid off from his position at the local university his life begins to take a sharp downward spiral. A reprieve comes in the form of a one foot long claw which is proffered to him; along with a substantial amount of money and an offer to join a team in search of the creature to which the claw may belong. With nothing to lose, he accepts the invitation to join the expedition to the Canadian Arctic. The team travels in search of a creature, only to discover the ice has many mysteries to be revealed, both ancient and lethal.





Oscar winning director James Cameron, known for breaking box office records, is in a race with two other men - billionaire businessman and adventurer Richard Branson and an experienced submarine pilot - to reach the Challenger Deep, part of the Mariana Trench near Guam in the western Pacific.    


 Read more here...    


Thanks to Scott Curtis.


Joke of the Month: Great insults in History

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.


The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."  


A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."   "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr  


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill  


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow  


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner   

(about Ernest Hemingway).  


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas  


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain  


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde  


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill


"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.  


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop   "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright  


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb  


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson  


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating  


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand 


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker  


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain  


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West 


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde  


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)  


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder  


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx




*IF YOU HAVE A JOKE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, please e-mail to me at [email protected] Put JOKE in the subject line.


New Cancer Protocol - Announcement hopefully in March

We had hoped to break the news last month, but my illness delayed the supporting website. Look for a special newsletter soon.


Stay well, stay safe and know this author really appreciates you. And please purchase copies of PHOBOS: Mayan Fear & GRIM REAPER: End of Days - I guarantee you will enjoy them!

Steve Alten, Ed.D.