Okay, it's not quite the real movie trailer, but if this doesn't excite you, then I give up. YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvOVhuhEUW0

Sent in by reader Sean Drummey. Scary. This is how MEG tooth collector (and friend) Vito Bertucci died.

PHOBOS: Mayan Fear debuted a few weeks before Turkey was struck by an earthquake. What's the connection? In this Mayan doomsday thriller, the Large Hadron Collider (in late 2008) accidentally created a miniature blackhole that has been causing seismic disturbances (Haiti, Japan, DC) as it grows larger. Now Turkey! Coincidence? Let's pray.

GRIM REAPER: End of Days debuted in paperback almost to the exact day (unintended) OWS began. The story reflects the anger OWS and the majority of people feel towards the greed and corruption that has allowed corporations to control both elections and policies on both sides of the aisle. In GRIM REAPER, the Angel of Death is out to settle the score.

Mr Alten: All I can say is WOW! I have never read a book as powerful and captivating as Grim Reaper End of Days. I have a habit of walking around town while reading and on many occasions I was so engrossed in your book I almost caused a traffic accident by walking through a traffic light. I cannot wait for Purgatory to come out and wish you could send me a teaser ahead of time. I was sad to finish the first book and then utterly depressed to find out that the next one was not yet published. A new but huge fan, Melissa Schlafmann. AUTHOR WARNING: Please do not read my books while walking, parachuting, cliff diving, swimming, or having sex.

This contest debuted last month, and so far, only 20 people entered. We've condensed the upload to make it far easier. Essentially, all you have to do is post the video to your YouTube or facebook site with a clever subject line, and tell us where it was posted so we can tally the views. Everyone who simply gets a bare minimum of views will receive a new hot-off-the-press signed Hell's Aquarium poster. Each Friday, everyone who enters will receive an e-mail showing your ranking. The rules and video download instructions are posted at www.SteveAlten.com or just CLICK HERE. Contest ends 12-21-11.

For over a decade, Doug McEntyre and MTR (Millennium Technology Resources) have been specializing in website development, Internet marketing, hosting, graphic design and more. With Doug's help, we launched the new MEG e-store this month, a new Adopt-An-Author website is coming, and many other features for the future. If you need a webmaster, I highly recommend MTR for your web needs. Contact Doug McEntyre by e-mail at doug@mtr2000.com or by phone at 904-733-1447.

Not a Megalodon living in the abyss, just your basic one-eyed pure white shark.

I've taken Omega-3 fish soft-gels for years and never noticed any improvements. A friend recently recommended Carlson's Fish Oil, and I've definitely felt more "lubricated." Don't buy into the "delicious taste," just use a tablespoon in some orange juice, you'll get it down. And take it after a meal.

Ingredients: 1 loaf of day old French bread, cut into 3/4-inch cubes (about 10-12 cups) 1 cup walnuts, 2 cups each, chopped onion and celery, 6 Tbsp butter, 1 green apple, peeled, cored, chopped, 3/4 cup of currants or raisins, Several (5 to 10) chopped green olives (martini olives, the ones with the pimento), Stock from the turkey giblets (1 cup to 2 cups) (can substitute chicken stock), 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley, 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning or ground sage (to taste), Salt and freshly ground pepper (to taste).

Instructions: If you haven't already made the stock, take the turkey giblets - heart and gizzard - and neck if you want, and put them in a small saucepan, cover with water and add a little salt. Bring to a simmer; simmer for about an hour, uncovered. Strain the stock into a container for use with the stuffing. Alternatively, you can use chicken stock or just plain water with this recipe. Toast the walnuts by heating them in a frying pan on medium high heat for a few minutes, stirring until they are slightly browned (not burned) OR put them in the microwave on high until you can smell the aroma of them toasting, about a minute or two. Let them cool while you are toasting the bread, then roughly chop them. Heat a large sauté pan on medium heat. Melt 3 Tbsp butter in the pan, add the bread cubes, and stir to coat the bread pieces with the melted butter. Then let them toast; only turn them when they have become a little browned on a side. Note, if you aren't working with somewhat dried-out day-old bread, lay the cubes of bread in a baking pan and put them in a hot oven for 10 minutes to dry them out first, before toasting them in butter on the stove top. The bread should be a little dry to begin with, or you'll end up with mushy stuffing. In a large Dutch oven, sauté chopped onions and celery on medium high heat with the remaining 3 Tbsp butter until cooked through, about 5-10 minutes. Add the bread. Add cooked chopped walnuts. Add chopped green apple, currants, raisins, olives, parsley. Add one cup of the stock from cooking the turkey giblets or chicken stock (enough to keep the stuffing moist while you are cooking it). Add sage, poultry seasoning, salt & pepper. Cover. Turn heat to low. Cook for an hour or until the apples are cooked through. Check every ten minutes or so and add water or stock as needed while cooking to keep the stuffing moist and keep it from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Serves 8-10.

IF YOU HAVE A RECIPE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, please e-mail to me at MEG82159@aol.com Put RECIPE in the subject line.

This one reads straight out of the pages of PHOBOS! Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future!

Have you read a story that borders on the ridiculous? Send it to Steve Alten at Meg82159@aol.com

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

Two blondes are on opposite river banks. The first asks, "How do I get to the other side?" The second responds, "You're already on the other side."

*IF YOU HAVE A JOKE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, please e-mail to me at MEG82159@aol.com Put JOKE in the subject line.

Great new items and gifts (I especially love the office supplies and phone covers). Best of all, any profits go to support the Adopt-An-Author program.