"May my next boyfriend love me to distraction." That was a prayer of mine many, many years ago. I prayed that because the guy I was dating (Greg) was routinely late and would stand me up repeatedly.

I didn't take it personally because it wasn't just me. Greg did the same thing with everyone, even his family. I secretly nicknamed Greg the "squeaky wheel guy" because whatever wheel squeaked in Greg's life got his attention. If Greg was on his way to meet me and a wheel squeaked, Greg would be late-if Greg arrived at all.

That did not work well with me, so I cut Greg loose. And like any woman, I wanted the next guy to be different. Too many things distracted Greg when I wanted him to be distracted only by me. That is why I prayed that prayer-to get a man's attention.

The next man I dated after Greg did in fact love me to distraction. So much so that he smothered me. He always wanted to be with me and rarely gave me space. I went from one extreme to the other-all in the name of getting some attention. Talk about a case of "don't ask for what you wish for because you just might get it."

I thought I knew what I wanted. It may have been what I wanted, but it surely was not what I needed. After that fiasco, I began praying for God to show me what to look for in a man. I obviously didn't know what was best for me.

And God changed my perspective. Instead of looking for a man who would give me his attention, I waited for a man worthy of my attention. I began looking at a man's character. Instead of looking for someone to meet my need for attention, I began waiting for someone who was dependable, available and had a servant's spirit. Those are characteristics worthy of my attention.

By waiting for a man worthy of my attention, I was rewarded with the right balance of attention and space for me. Reggie gives me all the attention I want-and need. Reggie gives me space, too, to do what I love to do-like write newsletters and mentor young women.

It wouldn't have happened without a change in perspective. I changed from looking for what I wanted to what God wanted for me. And it made all the difference. Now, I no longer fight change when God is doing it. In fact, I embrace it because when I do, God gives me what I need and what I really want.

Until Next Time,

Dawn 

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