"Share to your level of comfort." This is what I want to say to those of you who may have read my last article on honesty (Click here to read that issue), but are uncomfortable sharing some things with the person in your life. I also want to say, "That is okay." I am not suggesting anyone say anything they are not comfortable saying. However, I would challenge you to find out why you are uncomfortable.

Before Reggie, I was engaged to another man. As the date of our wedding approached, I shared with a friend that I planned to go on a shopping spree. There were some things that I wanted to get before I got married. This by itself was not wrong. If you want something and have the money to buy it without affecting your other goals, buy it. My problem was my motive.

I decided to go on this shopping spree because I didn't believe that my then fianc� would agree with my purchases. I was going to do it before he got a say. Basically, I did not trust him. And by not discussing it with him and at least giving him an opportunity to voice his opinion, even if ultimately the decision before we were married was mine, I was sewing more seeds of distrust into our relationship. Two major red flags!!

Thankfully, my girlfriend challenged me on this and I began to examine my motives and my relationship. Why didn't I trust him? Did I find him untrustworthy for valid reasons or did I have trust issues that I needed to deal with? In this situation, I realized that I did not consider my ex-fianc� trustworthy.

That led to a bigger question: Why was I marrying a man I did not trust? Needless to say, that relationship ended making way for my relationship and marriage with Reggie.

Now, I am involved with, and married to, a man I trust. We feel comfortable talking about anything--openly and honestly. That is our prayer for you--relationships where you feel comfortable, too.

Until Next Time,

Dawn 

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