"He sees you," my friend Jen whispered to me after meeting Reggie for the first time. Though she never mentioned it prior to their meeting, Jen later told me she had prayed that God would send me someone who "saw me," someone who looked beyond my externals to see who I am inside.

Jen witnessed my pain during a previous relationship when the man had not seen me. He saw a project that he decided needed improvement. Unfortunately, his chosen method of improvement was criticism. Regularly, he would tell me what he thought was wrong with me followed by what I needed to do to fix these flaws.

Of course, it did not begin that way. In the beginning, I was wonderful and he was wonderful to me. Or so I thought. He came with all the right packaging. Yes, he was attractive, but that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about the spiritual packaging. He was saved (had a personal relationship with Jesus), loved to study the Bible, and was active in ministry - three very important things.

Though these are essential things, they are not everything. After my previous relationship, I learned that spiritual things are the starting point, the pre-screening. Making sure the object of my affection sees me is part of the interview, a very significant next step. How a man sees me is another vital qualification to filling the job.

When Reggie approached me about courtship I knew that he was saved (He had told me his salvation story), loved to study the Bible, and was active in ministry. But would he really see me? During our courtship, he demonstrated that he did.

Though I am by no means perfect and Reggie knows that better than most, Reggie saw me as a gift, not a project. That is how he introduced me to people before we were engaged. He told them that I was "the gift that God had brought into [his] life." Last month, Reggie wrote about how he came to see women as gifts and me as his gift. (Click here to read his article.) Since I am his gift from God, Reggie understands that my Creator will do any fixing that needs to be done.

In the meantime, Reggie accepts me as I am. As Jen would say, he sees me. Reggie saw me because he was, and is, comfortable and confident in himself. As a result, I was able to see Reggie too. Truly seeing the other person is part of a successful relationship. So, whether you are in a romantic relationship or not, we pray that you see and appreciate the people in your life, and that they do the same for you.

Until Next Time,

Dawn

 

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