"Start out the way you want to end up." This is a wonderful piece of advice that my mother gave me on relationships. It is also the first thing that comes to mind when women ask me who should make the first move in romantic relationships. When women hear the dreaded "the man" answer, the next question is often why and that is where Mama's advice comes into play.

 

But before I get into that, I ask the women in my audience a couple of questions, "Who wants a man with no initiative? How will you know if the man you are interested in has initiative unless you give him a chance to display it?" Not one woman finds the thought of a man lacking initiative appealing. However, some women believe that later in the relationship they will see him show initiative.

 

He may. Anything is possible, but if you aren't willing to give him the opportunity now, will you later? Why run that risk, especially when the odds are not in your favor? According to every relationship expert I have encountered, whatever you do in the beginning sets the tone for the relationship. Many men, including Reggie, agree. For example, if you start out doing all the cooking and cleaning, a man will let you do it-and it will be hard to change it later.

 

That is why my mother advised me to start out the way that I want to end up. If I want to end up doing all of the work in the relationship, I could find a man willing to let me do it-all too easily. However, in the words of Mama, "Why would you want to?"

 

Unfortunately, I did not follow Mama's advice until after I had racked up more than a few scars doing it my way. When I learned that Mama's advice was godly advice, I started to change. I focused on God-to the point where I didn't even notice Reggie. If he had not approached me, I would have missed my blessing. As we became friends, Reggie continued to take the lead. And it worked. When we entered our courtship, which he initiated, his leading was a natural progression.

 

I cannot say it is always easy. Reggie moves slower than I do, but God has shown me that Reggie's pace is for my protection. I may not always like his speed, but I understand its value. Reggie's pace keeps me from rushing out in front of God.

 

Now, I no longer lead the way, but I am enjoying the journey. I finally followed Mama's advice. Reggie and I started out God's way, which is how we want to end up. Our desire is for you to enjoy your journey, so I pass Mama's advice on to you.

Until Next Time,

 

Dawn

 

P.S. Please feel free to pass A Stitch in Time along to family and friends, but please forward it in its entirety. You can even share it on Facebook and Twitter by clicking on the "Share" button below this article.

Next Month: