"What you said gave me hope," Tara said. She was in the audience the night before when Reggie and I had shared about handling baggage before and during a relationship. Her comment took me back.

I always knew that I was going to be married. What I did not know was how long it would take to find real love, (or should I say for it to find me), or the pain that I was going to encounter along the way. What I also did not know was that love and marriage are not necessarily the same thing.

When Reggie came into my life, I thought I had already experienced twice what I called a "great love" - both passionate and romantic. I did not think I would (could or should) be entitled to yet another "great love." I believed that I would love again, but not a "great love," a "comfortable love."

God showed me differently. What I had to give up was not my hope of great love, but my definition of love and the ways in which I went about finding it.

That is what I did. Right before Reggie came into my life, I decided to change my ways when it came to relationships. I decided to do it God's way. That meant that before entering another relationship, I spent time alone with God. It was the best decision I ever made. I had been alone before. I had even spent time with God before, but this time was special. This time, I understood the wonderful gift it was to be alone with God. I understood that singleness was a gift, and since I knew that I would one day be married, it was a gift that would one day go away. So, I decided to make the most of it.

I made this decision, not because I am super spiritual, but because I was tired of the pain of unfruitful relationships. If I was going to do it again, I needed it to be different. So, I needed to be different. My time alone with Him allowed God to heal me and change me. Ironically, Reggie had also come to the same decision after his last relationship. God used his season alone to heal and change him too.

Now, we have a great love. It all began with a decision to do relationships God's way. Now, I have more hope than I ever dreamed possible. One night this past February, our hope became Tara's hope. It is our prayer that if you have lost hope, our hope can become your hope because that is part of what our ministry, A Cord of Blue, is about.

Until Next Time,