The Do's and Don'ts of Giving Praise

I'm sure you've heard the story of a woman who asks her husband why he doesn't tell her he loves her anymore. Comedian George Lopez's response is, "I'm still here aren't I?" When we don't give proper praise and recognition to employees it's like telling them "I told you I loved you when I hired you, if that changes I'll let you know".

A study by Gallup showed that sixty-five percent of the workforce does not receive any praise or recognition. Wise leaders know that giving praise and recognition to their employees at least once a week results in 38 percent higher productivity and 50 percent lower employee turnover. For the workplace relationship to be healthy and whole, a five-to-one ration of positive comments to negative ones is essential.

But just giving praise is not enough; it must done the right way to be effective. In their book The Business Coaching Toolkit, authors Stephen G. Fairley and Bill Zapp give us three keys to giving positive praise:

1. It must be TRUE

Praise is effective only if it's true. Throwing around happy words might be well meaning, but can be seen as flattery (nice word for lying) and will breed resentment. If you place a white sheet of paper in front of you with a dark smudge, people will focus on the dark smudge, not the 95 percent of the paper that is pristine white. The same is true with our relationships with people. We will spend more time with the 5 percent that's wrong than the 95 percent that's right.

Catch people doing the right things and recognize them for that good. The smudge is irrelevant unless it is an everyday occurrence. Deal with it unapologetically, but in a climate where positive praise is a process you embrace.

2. It must be SPECIFIC

Telling someone they "did a great job" is an empty accolade. It means nothing even if said with the best of intentions. It is not specific enough. It is better to state specifically what the employee did. For example, "You did a great job with how you dealt with the customer's complaint. He was really upset but you kept your wits about you and reached a great resolution to the problem. Again, great job."

You can state in specific terms what that great job was. It creates value and worth and creates a sense of strength and bond between the giver and receiver of the praise. If given on a regular basis, employees get more enjoyment and satisfaction from coming to work, and employees tend to continue that good behavior.

3. It must be PERSONALIZED

If you visit Germany you would use the Euro, when in Japan you use the Yen, and when in Mexico you use the Peso. Each country has its own currency. People are no different. Personalize praise is essential because people have their own currency.

Not everyone enjoys receiving public praise, or getting in front of a group to receive an award. Some relish certificates and public recognition. For others a simple note, card or letter is preferred, while others simply enjoy a pat on the back. If you are to be effective, you must give praise and recognition in the currency of that employee. Look around their office to see what pictures they have, if they have awards on the wall, or if they show an affinity to a particular sport. Then when you recognize them, reward them with what is important to them. For instance, if they have baseball items in their office, give them tickets to a baseball game. If you find out they like to read, then a gift certificate to purchase a book would be well received.

Get to know your employees by observing and talking to them about something outside of work and then praise and reward them with what important to them, in their currency.

There are two important "Don'ts" when you deliver positive praise. Avoid them at all costs.

The first one is to not follow praise with a correction. This is very common mistake. Some people think that if you're going to correct someone, it is best to compliment them first so they will accept the correction. This makes praise hollow and manipulative. When this is done often enough people become weary of you when you start giving praise and start expecting the other shoe to drop.

The second one is very similar. It's giving someone praise and continue with a condition. For instance it's giving someone, or a group of employees, some positive praise for something they have accomplished, and then ending it with words like "now, go do better," or "now let's see if we can improve on that." This takes the oxygen right out of the room. It's like telling them what they did was not good enough and they must do more or the person giving praise will not be satisfied. It's unnecessary and ineffective.

When you give praise and recognition, do it truthfully, specifically and with no additional strings attached and no particular agenda.

If I can help you or someone in your organization remove some obstacles in their development, or assist with specific areas of improvement or leadership development skills, please contact me.