No Workplace Bullies
(brought to you by Civility Partners, LLC)
 
50% of Americans are bullied at work. 27% of them quit.
In This Issue
What we learned from Phoebe Prince
Performance Reviews and Workplace Bullies
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This enewsletter is a publication by Civility Partners, LLC

What the workplace can learn from Phoebe Prince: Bullies aren't just in school anymore

 

With the heartbreaking January suicide of yet another bullied teenager, Phoebe Prince, a 15-year old in Massachusetts, the topic of bullying has again captured our attention. According to District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel, who is charging nine teens for torturous harassment of Phoebe, several faculty, staff and administrators of the school were made aware of the bullying but took no action to help her.

 

Even her classmates were aware of the abuse, but chalked it up to teens-will-be-teens. They didn't think it was at all out of hand. But Phoebe would be alive today if someone had only stepped in.

 

What we learned from this unfortunate set of events is that bullying should not be ignored by leaders or bystanders. Unfortunately that happens all too often in the workplace. Between 50% and 70% of the workforce is bullied at some point over the course of their career, and like Phoebe, leaders and peers never step in to help them.

 

Adults of bullying suffer just as much as children and teens - they develop feelings of anxiety, depression, decreased self-esteem, poor morale, humiliation, inadequacy, and helplessness, and even Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) according to several research reports.

 

Take Shannon for example, a former employee of a non-profit organization in San Diego. After five years of abuse at work and a manager who ignored her pleas for help, she found herself calling in sick and coming in late in order to avoid abuse. By the end, she'd hung a piece of paper over her alarm clock with the words, "Get up!" printed on it; her only inspiration and an ever failing attempt at motivating herself to endure one more anguishing day at work.

 

Not unlike others in her shoes, because her performance had suffered so much she was asked to leave the company. While it may not seem like it, she is lucky. She was forced out before things got even worse. Check out Beverly Peterson's website (http://nojobisworththis.com). This documentarian and former target of workplace bullying has several clips about families who have lost a loved one to suicide because of bullying - just like Phoebe Prince's.

 

So what did we learn from Phoebe Prince?

 

1.Step in when you witness and incident of bullying. Bullying only happens because the people around let it. If an individual starts to pick on another individual, and nobody says anything to him or her about it, the perpetrator will learn the behavior is okay. If somebody speaks up, however, the bully will realize peers and managers do not approve and the behavior will stop.

 

2. Do not blame the victim. No one will claim that Phoebe Prince deserved what she got or that she was at fault - not only would that be an appalling and vile stance to take but it simply isn't true. Why this blame game happens at work is beyond me; but most organizations do in fact blame victims just like Shannon. They are asked to "let it go" or "get over it" and when they can't, their employment is terminated.

 

By the way, targets are usually very high producers and the bully picks on them because of their own shortage in self-esteem and feelings of being threatened by this high producer. Any organization letting a target go is shooting themselves in the foot by taking the abuser's side.

 
Click here to read the rest of this article on our blog.
 
 
Can you use the performance process to help a workplace bully curb his or her behavior?
 
Well, they can be very helpful if you're paying attention to ensuring a positive and healthy culture. Developing a performance evaluation process that includes civility is not too difficult (although changing the bully's behavior will of course be a challenging process, but worth it in the end).

Many organizations use the performance evaluation process as a once per year thing that everyone despises. Managers hate the process of telling employees they are not meeting goals, and employees of course dread those types of conversations. After a few weeks they've forgotten what it is they were supposed to work on and return to normal anyway. This isn't helpful to the employee, the manager, or the organization.

In order to adjust any type of behavior, whether bullying or not, employee evaluations should be held at a minimum once per quarter. They should also not focus only on what's going wrong, but should place a focus on what is going right. So don't forget to talk about where the employee is excelling too.

Before you start the process, you must first develop a list of competencies that are simple and unambiguous, and describe expectations for performance and behavior. Here are some examples of competencies that would be useful for eradicating bullying behavior:

· Communication: Addresses others with an encouraging and positive attitude. Listens to other ideas different from his or her own with an open-mind. Avoids raising his or her voice when frustrated and demonstrates professionalism at all times. Maintains confidentiality of information where required and handles sensitive information with tact.
 
Click here to read the rest of this article.
 
Click here to read Part II of this article.
We thank you for forwarding this message on to your friends, family, business contacts, co-workers, managers, supervisors, decision-makers, HR Depts, EAPs, coaches, counselors, and pets.
 
And, please tell us what you think! We also take questions and are happy to answer them. Email catherine@civilitypartners.com.
 
Thanks for reading,
Civility Partners, LLC
 
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