AFTER 22 YEARS, CLOSURE AT LAST It's getting dark, we're in a jungle, and a monkey is in charge of the universe. He's up 30 feet high in the trees, banging my camera as he swings, his whole family laughing hysterically down at us. It's 1989, and I am in Southeast Asia with my son Eri (then 14) - working on "letting go of attachments." Long story. The point is that the more spiritual our quest became (monasteries, meditation training, etc.), the more we mysteriously began losing or misplacing everything - passports, keys, wallets, clothing, etc. We had mistaken mindfulness for mindlessness and breathing for hyperventilating. And now, the camera. In the midst of our ramblings, Eri and I had come across this innocent looking golf course carved out of the jungle. Long about dusk, just as I was about to smack another perfect shot (as I remember it), Eri gestured for my attention. Behind me, maybe 30 yards away, a monkey was lumbering out of the jungle. Eri and I were delighted to see that she had four baby monkeys with her. Eri went for the camera to photograph the happy family. But then, The Big Guy emerged. The Big Guy - knuckles dragging, glare menacing -coming right at us! "What should I do?" said Eri. "I don't know!" I stammered. (I am totally devoid of Aikido techniques for monkeys.) "But, I've got a 5-iron." Eri, who never listens to my golf tips, grabbed a 3-wood. We backed away, one step at a time, as The Big Guy approached our abandoned golf bags. He began fiddling with the equipment like he was a pro examining the quality. "We've got to get a picture of this," I whispered to Eri. But then, just as if he were reading my mind, The Big Guy saw the camera and approached it with great interest. He picked up the camera and held it just like a fashion photographer. "Work with me, work with me," crossed my mind, but this was no time for humor. We had already lost one camera on this "journey of non-attachment" and I had had it! I took one courageous step toward him, but he froze me mid-stride with the best Clint Eastwood "make-my-day" stare ever given. Then, somehow, he wrapped the strap of the camera around his wrist and started knuckling his way into the jungle, followed by an angry man with a 5-iron and his wide-eyed son, with a 3-wood. So, as I said, it's getting dark, we're in a jungle and a monkey is in charge of the universe, swinging high in the trees, with my camera. Then Eri had a brilliant solution. "Remember Caps For Sale?" he asked me. Of course, the beloved children's story about a cap peddler who falls asleep under a tree with 20 caps on his head. When he awakens, he only has one. Enraged, he looks up and sees 19 monkeys in the tree, each with a cap. He gestures madly at them and they mimic him perfectly. When he stomps his feet in anger, they stomp theirs. Finally, in frustration, he slams his hat on the ground. Voila! 19 hats come flying to his feet. So, like the wise peddler, we started slamming things on the ground - rocks, hats, golf balls, anything we could find. Our hairy felon stopped and watched us intently. "He's getting it," I whispered, as the monkey started fiddling with the camera. But then, just when we were primed with expectation and arrogance, he removed the batteries from the camera and tossed them at our feet. That did it. This master teacher, this hairy, big-toothed guru, had broken our clinging ways with one frivolous gesture. Eri and I collapsed on the ground, laughing uncontrollably. And just when we truly let go, what happened? Wrong! He never did give us the camera back! For 22 years I have been telling this true story, and many could not believe it! But, they recently caught The Big Guy in action. I am vindicated, and he has arrived. Check this out! Macaque takes self-portrait
Posted on July 5, 2011 by David Pescovitz
This is a self-portrait taken by a crested black macaque who reportedly snatched a wildlife photographer's camera on the Indonesian island of Sulawesi. 
From The Telegraph:
David (Slater), 46, said: "One of them must have accidentally knocked the camera and set it off because the sound caused a bit of a frenzy.
"At first there was a lot of grimacing with their teeth showing because it was probably the first time they had ever seen a reflection.
"They were quite mischievous jumping all over my equipment, and it looked like they were already posing for the camera when one hit the button.
"The sound got his attention and he kept pressing it. At first it scared the rest of them away but they soon came back - it was amazing to watch. "He must have taken hundreds of pictures by the time I got my camera back, but not very many were in focus. He obviously hadn't worked that out yet.
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