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Excerpted From: Promotional Consultant Magazine
Issue: September 2010

Today's business world is more competitive than ever. As the economy continues to struggle, competition for jobs, clients, sales - you name it - continues to be tight.

If you're positive you've been saying all the right things, but you still can't get ahead, you may want to consider what you've really been saying to potential employers or customers-not just verbally, but nonverbally," says author Sharon Sayler in her book, "What Your Body Says (and how to master the message): Inspire, Influence, Build Trust, and Create Lasting Business Relationships."

"Words are only a small part of communication. The most influential parts of communication are nonverbal. And in an ideas-based economy like the one we have today, your ability to influence others and get them to really listen to you is what will set you apart from the majority in your profession or industry," she says.

"True communication goes beyond words, and great communicators use every tool they have to deliver their message," says Sayler. "When you have control of your nonverbal language, you can communicate confidence with passion, persuasion, credibility and candor-factors that will help you soar above your competition in the business world."

Following are a few nonverbal dos and don'ts highlighted in the book:

Filling The Silence
It is natural to pause when you speak-it gives you a chance to breathe. What's not natural is to fill the silent pause with um, ah, uh, you know and other sounds. Meaningless extra syllables or words make you sound less intelligent. Your message will be more effective once you eliminate them. This may take practice.

"The ums, ahs, uhs and you knows are warning signs that you need to breathe. When you run out of oxygen, your brain starts feeding unintelligible words to your mouth. Stop talking and start breathing. Working to eliminate the verbal pause may feel uncomfortable at first. Eventually, the silent pause will replace the verbal pause."

The Fig-Leaf Pose
By placing your hands to cover the groin region, you're making yourself look visually smaller. "Your body says, 'I'm harmless' or 'I'm afraid.' Not exactly the way to convey the level of confidence that a new employer might want to see in a new hire or that a client wants to see in a salesperson," Sayler says.

Hands In Your Pockets
Thumbs hanging off the pockets and hands deep in both pockets are like saying, "Geez, I hope you like me." Thumbs tucked in the waistband usually say, "I am staking my territory," which is a gesture of power, not influence. Thumbs displayed while the hands are tucked in the pockets say, "I know I am superior and I believe I have dominance," Sayler says. "Pockets and waistbands are not a good place to rest your hands in business situations. You want to convey to those you work with or hope to work with that you are confident in yourself and those around you."

Hands Behind Your Back
Depending on the situation, grasping your hands behind your back can be interpreted as meaning, "Geez, I hope you like me" or "You better fear me." Neither interpretation leaves a good impression, so avoid this position altogether.

"People often do not know what to do with their hands, so they will start with the fig leaf, and then quickly move their hands behind their backs. The best way to break yourself of this habit is to practice being comfortable with your hands straight down by your side," she says.

Crossing Your Arms
This stance is most frequently understood to indicate upset or discomfort. In business, others often interpret it as, "I am not open to discussion" or "I am annoyed."
"People habitually cross their arms over their chests when listening or waiting, so this gesture can be a hard one to overcome," notes Sayler. Since the crossed-arms gesture is one of the most misinterpreted nonverbals, don't do it.

The Eyes Have It
Of all the nonverbal messages one can use, the eyes are the most expressive and really are the window to thoughts and emotions. Little or no eye contact is often thought to be associated with lying, but this is not always true. Experienced liars will look you right in the eye every time. It might also indicate lack of self-esteem or interest. "Obviously, none of these are messages you want to convey in your professional life," says Sayler.

Fidgeting
Unintentional gestures are emotional reactions or the result of the body's desire for physical comfort. While fidgets may calm us, they often make others uneasy.

"Because they often become habits, fidgets can be difficult to stop, so people usually try to disguise them," notes Sayler. "If you know you will be entering a fidget situation, make an effort to control, your breathing. Once you are aware, breathe with low, full abdominal breaths."

"True communication goes beyond words, and great communicators use every tool they have to deliver their message. When you learn to communicate not only through what you say but also through what your body says, you can build stronger relationships, become a more influential leader and receive enthusiastic responses from potential employers, clients and colleagues.

Book Info:
What Your Body Says (and how to master the message): Inspire, Influence, Build Trust, and Create Lasting Business Relationships
By Sharon Sayler
Wiley, 2010, ISBN: 978-0-470-59916-7, $22.95