Blessings to you!
With Valentines' Day just around the corner, I am sure you are starting to think about your "Valentine," or lack thereof.
This is a most difficult time for some "singles," as they desperately seek their "soul mate." Many married folks wonder what happened to the person they thought was their "soul mate" when they married the person. A very rare few...very rare indeed...sigh and give thanks for the soul mate they have found and been with for many years.
Could the problem be a misconnect between what we want a soul mate to be, and what a soul mate actually is? What does "soul mate" mean to you?
To some, it means the one and only person who can "complete" you; it is the person who has what you think you lack. In Truth, we lack nothing. Through the law of attraction, if we think we are lacking something...we attract those who will reinforce that belief.
I believe that all too many people see a soul mate as someone who causes their heart to skip a beat and all of their emptiness to go away while solving all of their problems and fulfilling their every need. As pleasant as that may seem, that would be an attractive slave, not a soul mate, and the attraction would soon fade.
I was once a great believer in the "one and only soul mate." I thought that my parents were in fact soul mates on that level...and they certainly demonstrated it through a long and very happy marriage. Standing back far enough however, one can see that this was not a gift that was given to them. It was a lifetime project that they worked on regularly, built on a promise they made to each other in love.
One day, sitting at the kitchen table with my dad when I was just 15 years old. I asked my dad if he believed that each person had a soul mate. I was shocked and saddened when he popped my bubble, telling me that he believed that you could fall in love more than once, and that if anything ever happened to my mom he could imagine that he could fall in love again.
Then he added, but when you find someone and love them and make a commitment to them, then that is what you do for as long as both of you live. And that worked for them for almost 60 years when my dad left the earthly plane.
I invite you to step back even further...to expand whatever understanding of soul mate you currently hold. Consider the possibility that we are each soul mates with the other, as we are working in partnership to perfect our individual lives, and the greater life we share.
Even those "bad dates," that we may say "no way!" that is no soul mate of MINE, served as a soul mate even in the moment that you realized whoever it is you do want to share your life with...this is NOT that person. We attracted someone to provide the opportunity to NOT choose based on the "mirror test" (the ability to produce steam on a mirror, i.e. 'breathing.') Don't laugh...I know many who have made that "something is better than nothing" choice.
Our parents are soul mates we made a decision to share our lives with at some spiritual level, to work out our soul growth. So are the teachers we loved and the teachers who challenged us. This is true of mates ex-mates. It is true of our children and employers.
So if you've been desperately seeking a soul mate, you can stop. Each person who crosses your path is your soul mate. Now, if you are looking for a special person to share your life with...that is another thing. Just remember life is like a buffet, and nobody is going to do it all for you. You've got to get up and serve yourself.
Now, don't let me pop your "soul mate bubble." I absolutely believe that there are people out there so perfectly aligned with who we are the journey of life is truly enriched. Just don't hang it on the first one who makes your heart skip a beat. Make sure that it is more than chemistry, which is a very poor substitute for love.
With Love From your Valentine Friend, Relative, Minister, "Soul Mate," RevAli
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