|
|
|
The Heroic Journal
Living Your Resilient Life
|
|
|
|
Welcome to another edition of The Heroic Journal, a monthly newsletter which features a variety of ways in which individuals, families, communities and businesses can and do thrive during difficult challenges. This month, we look at the pivotal, yet terribly uncomfortable time of the initiation and even the double initiation. How do we find the fruit from the most challenging times of our lives? Read on. In this edition, we look at the journey and how a moment can change the complete trajectory of our lives and the choices we have along the way.
If you have missed past editions of The Heroic Journal, all archives may be found at
www.theomnibuscenter.com
Archives have stories about TBI, cancer, aging with zest, Dark Night of the Soul stories, returning from combat, trauma of all kinds, the antagonists in your life, healing vs curing and much much more.
Resilience seminars (one on The Heroic Journey and one on Trauma Conversion and Resilience) headed to Connecticut, Rhode Island, North Carolina, Virginia, Nebraska, South Dakota, Georgia, Florida and Alabama. Please check the bottom of this newsletter for details.
|
|
Ponderings
Tao of the Road Warrior: Oklahoma City Journey
| |
| |
ã June 2002/July 2011 - Melissa (Missy) Bradley
A week after making a personal and public commitment to be mindful and to "smell the roses," my travels took me toward Oklahoma. I left the Tulsa training (June 2002), breathing in the beautiful May afternoon as I made my way to Oklahoma City.
There were many signs for the Oklahoma City National Memorial. Once again, I fought my litany of excuses in favor of going directly to the hotel: "I'm tired", "My feet hurt," "I'd rather watch Frazier," and "What if I get lost again?" Figuring I would see Oklahoma City on a less rushed trip, I checked into the hotel and went to dinner.
While reading the brochure for the National Memorial during my dinner, tears stung my eyes. The haunting words in the brochure had grabbed my attention:
We come here to remember those who were killed, those who survived and those changed forever. May all those who leave here know the impact of violence.May this memorial offer comfort, strength, peace, hope and serenity.
I recalled all those weeks I sat in front of the television in April 19, 1995, numbly riveted by the grief the Oklahoma community was experiencing. I wanted to comfort them, but also needed to be comforted. I think most Americans realized how easily it could be for our life to be turned upside down in a moment. I hurriedly finished my dinner and set out to experience the place that offered comfort and to pay my respects.
As I neared the memorial, the large number of people surprised me. A chain link fence still surrounded the site and was covered with rememberings and love. A tiny pair of royal blue mittens with hot pink stripes - toddler size - was hanging from the chain link fence, as was a pink ribbon, a pair of white, size 4 toddler sandals. The pair of little girl's sandals had a blue bird and a purple butterfly on the toes. Whose tiny feet and hands were meant to fit into these mittens and shoes? Did this dear little girl lose her life or was a parent killed in the explosion? I prayed for the child who wore the shoes and the memories that must go with them. I wonder what the holidays are like for that family now? Do they still cry themselves to sleep?
A multitude of laminated photographs were attached to the fence and now the victims were no longer faceless names. They looked like such kind and beautiful people...smiling and giggling faces of children lost in the blast...faces of lives cut short. It's heart wrenching to know the hole they must of left in their families.
Further down the fence hung a battered cap from Emergency Medical Services. On the cap, the following words were scrawled:
FIND PEACE. I'M STILL LOOKING. I HAVE LOST MY FAITH. - Kirk Owens.
Did Kirk Owens work as a rescue worker at the blast sight? I didn't want to imagine what his memories must be. The sights, the sounds and yes, the smells. As you go to sleep tonight, Mr. Owens, there will be at least one person that will say prayers for you. Thank you for the sacrifice you gave some family for the hard work of searching, rescuing and recovering someone's loved one. You gave someone your peace. Maybe someone can help you get yours back.
After reading Mr. Owens's cap, I stepped in the sacred emptiness that was once a building filled with colleagues. Laughter, the early morning giggles of children at daycare, coworkers gossiping over their first cup of coffee package were the kind of sounds that would have been heard on that day. Some people may have been experiencing the feeling of the first stage of love - infatuation - and no doubt thinking about the person they couldn't live without. There were others wondering what happened to that feeling of love that is no longer there...replaced by restlessness. These people were/are just like you and me. It began as a typical day...until 9:01.
Two towering walls stood at each end of the 3.3 acres. One of the most striking visions at the memorial are the two walls noting the times. One wall has huge numbers 9:01 carved on it, representing life as normal and the other wall with 9:03 on it, representing how quickly life be turned upside down. In between was a sacred emptiness - a massive reflecting pool. Although the memorial grounds held many visitors, there was utter and complete reverence. Bronze and glass chairs of varying sizes were scattered non-symmetrically - to represent where people perished - with names of each of the victims etched in the glass bases. The fourth side of the memorial grounds held the Survivor Tree and the Rescuers Orchard. The survivor tree was badly damaged, but still stands strong...a symbol of resilience...of human spirit and human compassion.
Meaning and messages came at me from every directions...a single moment can change our destiny. The defining moment can be a wrong decision, a betrayal, one drink too many and getting in the car, the death of a loved one, not being honest and vulnerable, not taking a risk that can change our life. After those moments, we sit in silence...with God...and reflect on that sacred emptiness.
The resilience of the Survivor Tree was inspiring. That tree made it in spite of the odds. A blast that took scores of lives, leveled a multi-story building did not destroy a tree. We are often like that tree. Reflecting on the resilience it has taken for many of us just to get to where we are now: maybe through traumatic childhoods, the experience of war, a rape, the death of a loved one, a job loss, a serious illness.... and yet the human spirit still survives...even thrives.
When I tell my clients they are really warriors, they say, "I am not. I am scared." I say, "So are warriors...but they keep going beyond their fear. That is what it means to be a warrior."
What are the defining moments in your life? Are you like the Survivor Tree, standing tall and strong, in spite of the odds? What helped you to survive? What would people put on the fence to represent you and your life? How would you want to live your last day? Would you want to live it bickering and gossiping and complaining? Or would you rather be laughing, loving and sharing? It is a choice...each and every moment.
As I revisited Oklahoma City the summer of 2011, the community's integrated the losses and has new-found strengths. There are still families and friends with the empty chairs around their dinner tables indicating the absence of their loved ones of perished that day. The grief never fully leaves, for there is no such thing as closure, but instead, integration and finding a new normal in life. People find new ways to honor the lives of those we have loved. What is the legacy they have left us? Their kindness? All the ways they have loved us? The lessons they have taught us to live? The courage they showed that April morning? That is what the real heroic journey is about...how lives continue to bless people, long after a person in no longer physically present.
What will be your legacy? What do you wish to be remembered for? Tomorrow, you get to decide...every single day...we get to decide.
|
|
Moving and expanding
The Omnibus Center is moving AND expanding. On July 23, 2011, the Omnibus Center & Melissa Bradley, MS, NCC, BCETS, FAAETS will be moving to the city of Nashville (not just the Nashville metro area). The new location will be 566 Rosedale Avenue, Nashville, TN 37211 and we will be sharing space with a psychologist and nutritionist. There will still be psychotherapy, EMDR, trauma and resilience coaching, performance enrichment and work with couples, individuals and businesses, seminars and distance sessions (phone or Skype) and supervision will still be available. New seminars on creativity and resilience are in the works.
On August 2, 2011 - The Omnibus Center will also expand to Huntsville, AL. More information will be given at that time. Resilience coaching, seminars and by the end of the year, Family Mediation will be available by year's end as well.
With the new website just around the corner, webinars for individuals, couples, business leaders and clinicians will be launched. There will be online coaching and consulting as well as ongoing groups. More information will be shared as it becomes available.
A PBS Special is also coming on the topic of children and their parents healing from divorce and the heroic journey with narrator Larry King.
Here's to an expanded path on the journey of life.
| |
Tao of the Road Warrior: Stormy Faith
ã2/25/2004 - Melissa (Missy) Bradley
On a recent Southwest Airlines flight between Reno and Oakland, I had an opportunity to experience flying in 61 mile-an-hour wind gusts. While hurdling over the Sierra Nevadas, I looked out the window and spied mean, dark clouds, swirling and churning like a cauldron of witches' brew. Although I was sleepy when boarding, I was soon experiencing wide awake terror and a pounding heart as we were bounced around thousands of feet above the earth. The utter powerlessness I felt was incredibly uncomfortable. When difficult things occur in my life, a good metaphor helps me to weather the current life storm.
While thoroughly taking in the experience, I began noticing the sensations in my body. I recalled another time I had experienced these sensations. My mind floated back to riding on the Wabash Cannonball rollercoaster at a favorite theme park. With eyes closed, I reframed this flight of terror as one of excitement. In my mind's eye I rounded the curves, rose up the inclines and zoomed down the hills of the coaster tracks. I was soon feeling the delight of this wild and stormy ride.
After reframing the flight as a great ride, I noticed - with irony - the faith I was putting in the flight crew - people whom I had never met. I chuckled when I considered marching down the aisle, into the cockpit (think pre-9/11 here):
"Hey you! Move out of my way! I'm taking over here. You're making this ride too bumpy!!" I would demand.
The pilots, appalled, would say, "What are you doing in here?! Who do you think you are? Are you a pilot?"
"Well, of course not," I would confess, "I wouldn't know an altimeter from a flap."
Noticing that I was unarmed, except with a grand dose of arrogance, the crew would reply, "And you want to pilot this plane?" they would say incredulously, snorting with laughter. "M'am...go back to your seat and when we land, we'll get one of our representatives to hook you up with some professional help."
Sound ridiculous? Hardly. There have been many times in my life when I have I tried to control, cajole, manipulate and nudge situations and people in which I was totally powerless to change. Fortunately, I have never tried this with airline pilots, but I seem to do this on a regular basis with God. Isn't it interesting, and sad, that I could show more trust with Southwest Airlines employees than I sometimes show in my Higher Power. During some of the scariest times in my life, I struggle with letting go of my illusion of control:
"God...Missy here. I really think you should...""God, everything would be fine if you would just...""You know, God, the best thing would be..."Or, more common, not even bothering to talk with God about the life dilemma...I am too busy trying to manipulate the outcome.
Oh, the wisdom of Dr. Reinhold Neibuhr's 1932 Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
The Southwest rollercoaster flight reminded me of the importance of having the wisdom of knowing when I might have a positive influence and when I simply need to just butt out and turn things over. During those turbulent times in life - develop faith, find the meaning in the experience, enjoy the ride and thank your "Pilot" - the Divine - the next time you arrive safely at your "destination."
So, I recognized the part I could change - my perceptions - and I returned to my rollercoaster metaphor. I was back on that rollercoaster at the theme park and pretty soon I was, again, enjoying the ride. And the next time we hit a patch of turbulence, I threw my hands high over my head, smiled broadly and squealed "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
| |
Melissa (Missy) Bradley, MS, NCC, BCETS, FAAETS is the founder of The Heroic Journal, is a resilience coach, clinical trainer and therapist in the Nashville, TN and Huntsville, AL. |
|
The Bridge
by Edwin Friedman
One of my favorite stories about empowerment, victimhood, choices and enabling is the story The Bridge by Edwin Friedman. You may read the story in full on the following website:
http://www.thecruxmovie.com/pdf/TheBridgeShortStory.pdf
|
| A resilience seminar may be coming to you... | |
Get Your Clinical CEU's - Social workers, psychologists, nurses, psychiatrists, drug and alcohol counselors, pastoral counselors, marriage and family therapists, case managers, teachers, recoverying individuals...
Three Stages of Healing: Trauma Conversion and Resilience
June 1, 2011 - Portland, ME
June 2, 2011 - Manchester, NH
June 3, 2011 - Boston, MA
June 14, 2011 - Providence, RI
June 15, 2011 - Worcester, MA
June 16, 2011 - Hartford, CT
June 28, 2011 - Springfield, MO
June 29, 2011 - Tulsa, OK
June 30, 2011 - Oklahoma City, OK
July 13, 2011 - Roanoke, VA
July 14, 2011 - Winston-Salem, NC
July 15, 2011 - Charlotte, NC
July 18, 2011 - Raleigh, NC
July 19, 2011 - Richmond, VA
July 20, 2011 - Norfolk, VA
August 8, 2011 - Cedar Rapids, IA
August 9, 2011 - Des Moines, IA
August 10, 2011 - Omaha, NE
August 11, 2011 - Sioux Falls, SD
RESILIENCE: Helping Clients Navigate the Heroic Journey of Personal Transformation
(for teachers, administrators, all clinicians, clergy, hospice workers, nurses & physicians, executive coaches and more)
September 7, 2011 - Jacksonville, FL
September 8, 2011 - Atlanta, GA
September 9, 2011 - Birmingham, AL
September 27, 2011 - Shreveport, LA
September 28, 2011 - Dallas, TX
September 29, 2011 - Little Rock, AR
September 30, 2011 - Memphis, TN |
If you would like to see a brochure, you may find them at www.theomnibuscenter.com or www.crosscountryeducation.com 1-800-397-0180 or request one by emailing heroicjourney@theomnibuscenter.com |
|
Stay in your jammies and get CEs | |
If you missed a seminar that came to your area, you may still get CEU's through full-day self-study classes with Melissa Bradley, MS, NCC, BCETS, FAAETS
Available in self-study:
The Three Stages of Healing - Counseling Victims of Sexual Trauma
The Three Stages of Healing - Trauma Conversion and Resilience
Resilience: Helping Clients Navigate the Heroic Journey To Personal Transformation
To purchase the self-study packets (which includes six hours of compact discs, 100-180 page manual and self-study exam), contact Cross Country Education 1-800-397-0180.
COMING SOON: One to two-hour webinars (CEs) expanding on these topics. | |
|
|
|
|
Melissa (Missy) Bradley,MS, NCC, BCETS, FAAETS
The Omnibus Center
Helping People Excel
Find us at Facebook:
The Omnibus Center
Follow us on Twitter:
MissyBradley
The Heroic Journal Blog coming in November!
Seminars, EMDR, Performance Enhancement, Personal & Professional Development for Businesses, Resilience Coaching, Individuals & Families
Nashville, TN
Huntsville, AL*
615-377-6002
*Limited services
|  |
|
|
|
|
|
