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The Heroic Journal
Living Your Resilient Life | |
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Welcome to another edition of The Heroic Journal, a monthly newsletter which features a variety of ways in which individuals, families, communities and businesses can and do thrive during difficult challenges.
This month, we look at the life challenge of a successful stockbroker, the father of twins, after he experienced a debilitating stroke. His journey of healing is inspiring and uplifting.
Also, one year after the global financial crisis, a look at resilience, and a reminder from others, that companies and individuals can get through, and even thrive after, professional and financial crisis.
Stories in the coming editions:
- NOT Riding Off Into the Sunset: Fran Welton, the 90-year-old Cowboy
- From High School Dropout to Psychologist - Dr. Kristina Diener
- From Sharecropper's Son to Billionaire: A Story About Jim Clayton
- It Takes A Village (or a Team): Business and the Importance of Relationships
- Ladies Who Launch: Allie and Mentors on the Entrepreneur Journey
- Elizabeth (Liz) Wilson: The Ironman Journey
November - Special Veterans' Edition
- Serving Others: The Veteran Experience
- Journey from the Abyss: The Long Return Home
- How A Community Can REALLY Support the Troops
- Veteran Resources
And more...
If you have missed past editions of The Heroic Journal, archives may be found at
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Ponderings
Thriving During Tough
Economic and Professional Challenges
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by Missy Bradley |
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A year ago this month, a global economic tsunami began shift the way we view many aspects of our lives. The media has spent many thousands of hours on the "crisis," but there has been very little written about how individuals, families and businesses have faced professional and financial challenges with courage and tenacity to make this a time of prosperity. You can choose to have hourly doses of doom or to look at the indicators of a powerful shift.
"Prosperity?" you might ask. There are many ways to view how we measure prosperity. The stories below are a few brief reminders that we, as individuals, families and businesses can tap into that deep well of resilience and keep putting one foot in front of the other. First of all, one year later, we are still "surviving." Is it uncomfortable? Probably for many, many people. From micro to macro - from individual to world economy - there has been the opportunity to test the waters of resilience and check whether we can move from survivor to thriver.
As we face obstacles in our lives, how do we find new eyes of "seeing," particularly when our very survival seems in question? When dealing with the current facts of the situation at hand, whether professionally or personally, what assumptions are we making about those facts?
The superb book, The Art of Possibility, by Roz and Ben Sander, begins with a powerful example:
A shoe factory sends two marketing scouts to a region of Africa to study the prospects for expanding business. One sends back a telegram saying, "SITUATION HOPELESS STOP NO ONE WEARS SHOES." The other writes back triumphantly, "GLORIOUS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY STOP THEY HAVE NO SHOES."
Obviously, the two marketing scouts for the shoe factory have different assumptions. One only sees a dead end, while the other sees a different horizon and beyond. When we are under stress, a very primitive part of the brain helps us to survive the next moment. And the next. And the next. And the next.
Many years ago, I heard a story told by Bob Moawad about a closed jar full of fleas. The fleas became used to this confinement, so much so, that when the lab took the lid off they did not even try to escape. They died of starvation in the jar.
If we spend much time in the survival mind-set, we may survive for a while, but a part of us also dies. We habituate to the belief "that's all there is to do."
What are the assumptions you are making in your professional or personal life? If you have a business, what are the possibilities you are not "seeing" while living in the jar? Sometimes a fresh perspective can be useful to get a new vision.
Brainstorming (i.e. Possibility thinking, Blue Ocean strategizing) requires us to loosen our grip on the controls, much like Chuck Yeager did in 1947 when he first broke the sound barrier. Below are heroic examples of individuals and businesses who had visions beyond the horizon:
In 1971, Anita Roddick, a mother of two whose husband traveled a great deal, faced financial challenges. Because going out and supplementing the family bank account is not easy when finding care for two children is involved, Roddick had to find a way to adapt to the parameters of her current life circumstances.
Although she is said to have had NO EXPERIENCE, with an interest in environmental and social issues, Roddick decided to begin a business from her home, using natural products and recycled containers (long before recycling was in vogue) to make fifteen skincare products.
In the late 1990's, with 2000 stores around the world, Roddick sold her company - The Body Shop - to the L'Oreal cosmetics giant for $1.14 BILLION. Not a bad haul for someone new ways of being a stay at home mother and to make some extra money. Roddick also wrote several books and launched the foundation "Children on the Edge" - advocating the rights of children worldwide.
Dr. Spencer Silver and Art Fry's names probably don't sound familiar to many of you, but you are probably one of the millions of people who use their product regularly. Dr. Spencer. a scientist, developed a substance which didn't work and that "failure" became the leap into the next step of the process. As Art Fry, a colleague of Silver's, sat in his church choir one Sunday morning, he was frustrated as the bookmarks kept falling out of his hymnal. Remembering a product that "failed" six years earlier, found that if he put the sticky substance, developed by Silver, on the back of the bookmark, it stayed in place and did not damage the hymnal. The substance Silver developed was the polymer which became the glue for a product most of us use regularly - 3M Post-It Notes.
Walt Disney's first business had to file for bankruptcy. Milton Hershey (of the Chocolate empire), Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, P.T. Barnum, H. J. Heinz and Henry Ford, also bankrupted and went on to be wildly successful.
"With the economy in the doldrums and the nation still reeling from Watergate, Bill Gates leaves Harvard and strikes an informal partnership with his friend Paul Allen to launch a company called Micro-Soft. Their first office? An Albuquerque motel room. The company chugs along, making software using the BASIC programming language, until 1981 -- during another recession, no less -- when Microsoft introduces MS-DOS, which catapults it to the forefront of the industry." - from www.Inc.com
So, what are you saying to yourself about the times we are in? Do you have a scarcity, fear-based mentality? Or are you looking at opportunities and possibilities with courage and tenacity? It is a choice we each have.
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Former Stockbroker Giving Away Priceless Gifts
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by Missy Bradley |
Five years ago, Robert Fitts was a successful Raleigh, NC stockbroker working for Edward Jones Investments. A simple errand began to foreshadow how his life was about to change. While picking up some items at the grocery store for his wife, he found it difficult to hold onto the grocery list. By the time he arrived home, Robert was drooling, with one side of his face sagging. The first thought after he was taken to the emergency room was that he had Bell's Palsy. Hours later, the doctors confirmed that the stockbroker's right carotid artery had dissected. Robert had experienced a massive stroke at the age of 37.
Five years later, Robert and his sister, Alicia, where sitting in a Starbuck's being interviewed for this Journal.
Having never met him prior to his stroke and years into his recovery, I began to learn about this man with quick wit, high intelligence, a deepened faith, and a strong circle of friends and family. Robert also has new dreams and goals. As he flashed his great Chinese smile (a trip to China for acupuncture restor-ed his great smile), he spoke of the blessings of the stroke and life's adventures since.
Robert credits his recovery, thus far, with a lifelong belief in four things: perseverance, polite persistence (the two P's) "don't take no for an answer," and his strong religious convictions -"In God all things are possible."
Perseverance and polite persistence were evident, even at the age of five. As a young boy Fitts had the dream of becoming a stockbroker. While the family lived abroad (in Libya, Scotland and England) for his father's work in the oil industry, Robert made money by selling Kool-Aid popsicles and Sweet Tarts to his classmates at baseball games - goods not readily available in Libya. In fact, he was not even old enough to make change, so his father and sister would help him.
On one particular day, his sister arrived home from school in a ghibli (a sandstorm) without Robert. When questioned by their dad, she told him that she had left Robert there. When the elder Fitts arrived back at the baseball field at the school, there was Robert still trying to sell his last popsicle in the midst of the ghibli, determined he was not going to leave until he had sold it.
One summer, Robert managed to make over $300. That entrepreneurial spirit was just the beginning. He began to play the stock market, with the guidance of his father, before first grade. One of his teachers, in middle school in England, remembers that he was the only kid who would come in and take the Wall Street Journal from her desk to check stocks. He was ten at the time.
From then on, he had the dream of being a stockbroker. Those dreams were never thwarted, even when he failed the "Series 7" exam three times. Even though some told him to give up, he didn't, and on the fourth try, he passed. His "tunnel-vision" has served him well when it comes to the life he is creating.
For the past year and a half, Robert has been a participant in a Brain Injury Support Group. He has people inspiring him, and he is now giving back to others as they begin their journey with brain injury.
The circle of friends Robert had going into the stroke, as well as after the stroke have been invaluable to his recovery. A Kahlil Gibran writing with special meaning to Robert is:
On Friendship (Kahlil Gibran)
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind,
nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared,
with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught. And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
After the stroke, relationships still had great importance to Robert. He spoke at length about the first ten weeks in the hospital, where his regional manager from Edward Jones, Steve Richards, visitied him daily. His relationship with his sister, Alicia, his playful sometimes travel companion is one of dedication and humanness. "She calls me her PITA Boy - Pain-in-the-Ass."
Although Robert doesn't get to see them as often as he would like, his twin 12-year old sons, Andrew and Brooks, and ex-wife remain close by phone. He diligently tries to remain a part of their lives by calling frequently and spending time with them when they are able to visit. While his brain doesn't function as it used to do, his heart remains in the same place.
So many others have supported him through parts or all of this journey - his parents Alice and Bill Fitts; his brother, Stephen; godfather to his sons, Steve Cox; his current and former caregivers, J.W. Gray and Bob; and the staff at Edward Jones. Others, while not a daily part of his journey have provided support at key junctures.
Kelly, a long-time friend of Alicia's, met Robert about two years ago. Kelly was impressed with Robert's focus and tenacity, and with that of another stroke hero she had met. In spite of living in Boston, the distance has not decreased the love and dedication she has for Robert. This summer, Kelly ran a half marathon in Kona, Hawaii, in Robert's honor. Robert sat in the sun holding a "Run Kelly Run" sign until she completed the race, and when she did, Kelly and Robert returned to the last two hundred yard mark so that the dynamic duo could cross the finish line together. To the spontaneous cheers of the spectators and to unexpected commentary from the announcer, Robert and Kelly raised $13,000 to fight against stroke. The Boston team on which Kelly participated raised over $100,000 for the American Stroke Association.
While in Hawaii, Robert was able to snorkel, with the help of his new friends and a "noodle." The unconditional support which he received has inspired Robert to envision walking the Music City Nashville 5K on April 10, 2010. Robert's other goals are to go to hospitals to speak with people early in their stroke recovery and to become a mentor.
I don't see the latter as a future goal, but one he is already doing. By the end of the interview, I had committed to participating in that race as well and I had also learned some tips on investing as well!  |
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Tao of the Road Warrior:
A Big Orange Memory
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by Missy Bradley
October 6, 2003
I had been looking forward to the business trip for several weeks as I prepared to return to beautiful northern Minnesota. On the first full week of October, the brightly shining sun, azure sky and clean, crisp fall air was just "what the doctor ordered."
As the plane flew between Minneapolis and Duluth (one of my favorite cities in the U.S.), I was amazed by the majesty of the Great Lakes. They can be mistaken for the ocean unless being viewed on a map. As we began to prepare for landing, the landscape below reminded me of Neyland Stadium during a sold out crowd (for those who are not "Vols" fans, it is now the 106,000 seat stadium for the University of Tennessee...my Alma Mater).
The trees resembled the colors of team loyalty the football crowds wear. The blazing orange and deep crimson sugar maples reminded me of the Alabama-Tennessee game (with a few Purdue fans thrown in to add that touch of green and gold).
I breathed in the moment, imagining the sound of The Pride of the Southland Band playing their famous "Down the Field," then followed by a single trumpet leading us in the Alma Mater accompanied by the 200+ piece band.
On a hallowed hill in Tennesseeeeee
Like beacon shining bright
The stately walls of old UT
Rise glorious to the sight
So here's to you old Tennessee
Our alma mater true
We pledge in love and harmony
Our loyalty to you.
After the alma mater, the band would form their large "T" the football players run through, tens of thousands of fans would erupt in cheers. Yes, these were some of the best memories of my formative years.
The wind was gusty and cool and helped to carry the roaring crescendo of the crowd, climaxing at the moment the kicker's foot hit the ball. The current UT running back would dodge and weave in and out of the sea of crimson and white, evading tackles, and then would break free from the rest of the pack. The frenzied crowd would cheer as his feet crossed into the orange and white checkerboard end zone. The beloved announcer would yell, "Give 'em six!" "Rocky Top" would be heard over the 90,000 Vol fans (now 106,000) while our Mascot "Smoky" led the cheerleaders in six push-ups - a push-up for every point scored.
As I sat in seat 8a on a plane three decades later, time collapsed. A smile crept across my lips while tears stung my eyes. Instead of being on a plane skimming the trees, I had been sitting in the stadium 10 rows behind my mom and dad in section P. My parents were easy to find. My Dad always wore his Rabid Vol Fan (hideous) knitted cap covered with the word "Vols" on a bill on the front to shade the sun from his eyes. There was also an eye-rolling pom-pom which would "gross out" any self-respecting eighth grade girl. In unison, Melba and Norman Bradley would turn around - Mom's movie-star smile beaming and waving with her first three fingers, Dad blowing a kiss. That once "cool" adolescent, pretended to be little embarrassed by their behavior, while privately being comforted by it. I felt loved. It was a great family ritual which would be warmly remembered for decades.
Who would have known that wave and a smile would be capable of inducing tears thirty-five years later? How I wish I could relive those days. These were some of the best of my life (especially with that touchdown on the first kickoff of the day against 'Bama). Or, perhaps, I did just relive it. By allowing myself to go back to that wonderful time, my body felt exactly like it had when I first experienced those events.
Beautiful memories are always with us to return to when our loved ones are no longer present in the traditional way, but their love still resides within. Love really is forever...we may have to practice some mindfulness and intention to call it back.
"Resiliency erodes as rituals and celebrations are cancelled." - Pauline Boss
On those special Saturdays of my youth and early adulthood, I didn't know I was making memories that would warm my journey for decades to come. Rituals and celebrations we have in our lives can enhance our lives by providing the essential framework of love, beauty, and connection. They are always about relationships - with others, with Self, with life, and our connection to God, a Higher Power or the Universe.
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"About Memories"
Mattie Stepanek, age 9 |
| Memories are a great gift.
Memories are given to us by God,
As a keepsake and a treasure.
Memories allow us to call upon the past
Without reliving it.
Memories offer us opportunities
To laugh, or to cry,
To smile, or to reminisce
About old events and experiences.
Memories help us
Learn about the past,
So that we can pass on
Great happenings to young learners.
Memories support us
As we cautiously step into our future.
Memories teach us
About what things are good to repeat.
Memories warn us
About what things should never
Be allowed to happen again.
If we open our minds,
Memories allow and offer
And help and support
And teach and warn
About life.
Memories are a gift of the past,
That we hold in the present,
To create what can be a great future.
Treasure and keep memories,
For the sake of Life.
Mattie Stepanek, June 2000 - age 9
Mattie Stepanek (7/17/90-6/22/04) was a young American poet and best-selling author of seven books when he died at the age of thirteen of a rare form of muscular dystrophy, which also claimed the lives of his three siblings before him. He began writing poetry at the age of three. His final book was co-authored by former President Jimmy Carter.
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Authentic Living - Radio Show |
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Hear more about the heroic journey. On Wednesday, September 16, 2009 - 1pm PST/4pm EST, tune into the Voice America Internet Radio Show "Authentic Living" (www.modavox.com/7thWaveNetwork) as Andrea Mathews spends an hour interviewing Missy Bradley about living your heroic life. Mathews has had such guests as: Neale Donald Walsch, Thomas Moore, Julia Cameron, Dr. Bernie Siegel, Dr. David Hawkins, Gary Zukav, Dr. Larry Dossey, John Holland, Joan Borysenko, Caroline Myss, Byron Katie and more. Her shows air every Wednesday.
Andrea Mathews is the also the author of "Restoring My Soul: A Workbook for Finding and Living the Authentic Self." |
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Stories of courage, tenacity and inspiration needed... |
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Do you have a story to tell? Perhaps you or someone you know has made it through a challenging time and would like to share about that experience with others. By telling your story, or even a PART of your story, you may inspire a person to take another step, to keep trying, to take a positive risk. Budding heroes need "old timers" to give those stories of hope.
If you wish to be interviewed for your story, rather than writing your story, that can be arranged. If you wish for your story to be anonymous, that can be arranged as well.
If you are interested, drop an email to heroicjourney@comcast.net |
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| A Heroic Journey seminar may be coming to you... |
| Get Your Clinical CEU's - Social workers, psychologists, nurses, psychiatrists, drug and alcohol counselors, pastoral counselors, marriage and family therapists, case managers, teachers, recoverying individuals and just interested heroes... |
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The Psychology of Resilience:
A Multi-Modal Framework for Thriving Using the Heroic Journey is coming to:
September 9, 2009 - Buffalo, NY
September 10, 2009 - Albany, NY
September 11, 2009 - Syracuse, NY
September 29, 2009 - Boise, ID
September 30, 2009 - Spokane, WA
October 1, 2009 - Portland, OR
October 2, 2009 - Seattle, WA
October 12, 2009 - Melbourne, FL
October 13, 2009 - West Palm Beach, FL
October 14, 2009 - Miami, FL
November 4, 2009 - Ft. Myers, FL
November 5, 2009 - Tampa, FL
November 6, 2009 - Orlando, FL
November 18, 2009 - Parsippany, NJ
November 19, 2009 - New Brunswick, NJ
November 20, 2009 - Atlantic City, NJ
December 1, 2009 - Long Island, NY
December 2, 2009 - Queens, NY (Elmhurst)
December 3, 2009 - Manhattan, NY
If you would like to see a brochure, you may find them at www.theomnibuscenter.com (under schedule 2009) or to sign up, call Cross Country Education 1-800-397-0180 or www.crosscountryeducation.com Seminars will be posted and available for registration approximately 45 days before the event.
The Psychology of Resilience is also available in a CD set (6.5 hours) for purchase through Cross Country Education - www.crosscountryeducation.com
Three Stages of Healing: Counseling Victims of Trauma
Clinical CEU self-study course
The self-study course "Three Stages of Healing: Counseling Victims of Trauma" is 6 hour (or 7.2 for nurses) for psychologists, social workers, case managers, marriage and family therapists, pastoral counselors and A & D counselors.
This seminar is on audio CD's, you receive a 180 page manual and exam for CEU's. Three Stages is about moving from victim to thriver (Heroic Journey) after trauma. For more information, contact www.crosscountryeducation.com or Missy Bradley (developer and clinical trainer) at heroicjourney@comcast.net
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Melissa (Missy) Bradley,MS, NCC, BCETS, FAAETS
The Omnibus Center
Helping People Excel
Seminars, EMDR, Performance Enhancement, Personal & Professional Development for Businesses, Individuals & Families
Brentwood, TN
615-377-6002
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