The Heroic Journal  

Living Your Resilient Life

June 2009

If you are reading this, you should be aware (from other papers) that my thinking is unlike that of most people. I have thoughts, insights, understandings, and ideas that have been truths for all of time, but are not widely known. This is another asset.

Nearly every day I write a brief paper on something. I occasionally receive the title or concept the day prior, but it is generally given me as the paper commences. There is no study in most cases; no preparation, and never a direct reference. You cannot find a reference on a concept that has not been realized, a question that has never been asked; undiscovered dimensions are not easily recognized; which is why they remain undiscovered.

How do I get there from here? That may be an ultimate question. It accepts the first requirement; you have to start from where you are. I am in Nashville, I don't care how to get to anywhere from New York. I only care about starting from Nashville.

Any and all trips must start from your current location or 'here'. Then the destination is 'there', and the route must start from 'here' and trend to 'there'. There are no other solutions. One cannot start from somewhere else or reach another location and accomplish their trip.

This applies to people, but it also applies to everything. Nothing can initiate its transport from other than its 'here'. That transport must necessarily terminate 'there' to accomplish the goal."

"Have you ever considered why dawn isn't instant? The sun appears from across the horizon, but it was preceded by a period of gradually increasing light. From where did that light come?

The moon and stars generate or reflect some light, but not enough to cause the characteristic blue hue of the sky. As the sun creeps above the horizon the top of the atmosphere, that very sparse air is illuminated and some faint blue illuminates the earth. As more and more air is contacted by the sun's light; the blue deepens and the actual dawn approaches.  

By the time the sun breaks over the horizon the change is minimal. Shadows commence, but the light of day is scarcely greater than that of the previous few minutes.  

But this paper is about dawn and its gradual conversion from night to day. Dusk is the other side of dawn. It is the gradual loss of light between day and night.
The earth is surrounded by stars. There are stars throughout the year, but they appear stationary; yet there are unseen stars behind the sun. These stars are seen as the earth rotates about the sun over the year.

I am still thrilled that I have rediscovered the ability to carry a cup of coffee. One day, perhaps, I may not have to rely on this tool either. I no longer ask someone to transport coffee for me.
 
It is not what you can't do, it's what you can and will do. I have limitations, but I am not limited to them. They add to the challenges I face, but I look at them as challenges to accept, confront, and to which to adapt. There is no one that does not have limits, limitations. There are those of us who accept, confront, and adapt. There are also those who stop with accepting; they are limited by their limitations.

Besides 'what matters', we should also consider what does not. Yesterday does not matter. 'What was then' does not matter. Life does not come with a time machine, and there are no 'undos' or 'do overs'. I was a Green Beret. That does not matter. I am not an author. That does not matter either.

I am a writer. God has chosen to make me a writer of papers, articles, and essays, but He has chosen also to withhold the gifts and talents He provides to authors. That is not a complaint; it is acceptance. I am pleased that He has opened doors of understanding for me and allowed me to document those understandings in papers and essays. I accept the limitation of not being an author, but that acceptance does not prevent me from doing what I can do.

Acceptances include the inability to drive, run, and swim. Accepting and acknow-ledging these does not limit me. I don't try to drive for safety reasons, but I am a skilled passenger in both cars and planes. I rarely attempt to run a pace or two, but after reminding myself that running was then; I recognize that walking is now. I had to pass a swimming test for Special Forces. I gained some balance and equilibrium in the pools during rehabilitation. It was the balance and equilibrium that kept me from drowning, not my swimming. I could cry about the loss of what was, but that will not help. I can think of no better means of dealing with what is than recognizing what is and building on that foundation.

I will not attempt to list all of the limitations that I have recognized and accepted. To do so is depressing. I do not do things to feed a depression. That may be an acceptance and adaptation, too.

I can and will do dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, and more. I write papers. My dog and I walk miles. I have attained a degree of self-care. I am unattended most of most days. I achieve this by accepting and adapting to the limitations I recognize. That stimulates the question, "If it isn't recognized, is it a limitation?"  There are instances of denial, but the limitations persist. At a minimum acceptance is required. Confronting and adapting are options.
 
When people cease to challenge their limits, the limits begin challenging the people. I can walk. Because I can walk, I do walk. I walk as fast as I can and as far as I can. My speed may not compare with other peoples speed, but it is my best. The distance that I am able to walk is only a few miles, but I keep trying.
I am enthusiastically grateful for all that I can do. I know it is only by continuing to do what I can and pressing the limits I feel that I will be able to push those limits back and do more.

Man also accepts diagnoses and prognoses as prophetic of the most negative events. We hear news stories and documentaries about tragedies, but miraculous cures are treated as flukes that merit only a brief announcement. These are so rare they cannot merit news coverage or documentaries.

Since the coverage is mostly of catastrophes and disasters, they are the expected outcome. The doctor says, "This is a cancer." What is heard is, "You're going to die." There is minimal recognition that life is a terminal condition. Living forever is not a common finding. Our bodies eventually cannot continue self repair. It is my belief that death is only the end of earthly life. The soul or spirit is not an earthly entity and continues.

Accepting that cancer is a death sentence is to accept a forecast and deny reality. You are alive. You can strive to remain alive. There is no down side to trying to survive. If you do not try to survive you will not. You may not anyway, but trying to live seems to make more sense than not trying to live.

I am a survivor. Specifically, I have survived a broken neck, a fall from a cliff into a river, multiple parachute jumps, driving hundreds of thousands of miles, a broken hip, a traumatic brain injury, and a coma. I have never accepted that "this can't get better," "this is terminal," or other negative prognoses or indications. Not accepting a forecast is not denying reality. When I could not walk, I accepted that as a temporary reality and not as a lifelong condition. I was correct and now I walk.

When a negative is accepted (I'm handicapped, I'm dying...) there is no correction of the acceptance. The condition may have been and may remain reversible, but the attitude is harder to modify.

For as long as you live, choose to live. Don't accept death as casually as abandoning life. Life is irreplaceable. When it is gone, it is gone forever. Only with faith can you live forever, but you can die before it is necessary if you stop living.

In the trailer of a movie, the actor James Garner states, "You don't appreciate what you have until it's gone." Bernie says:

I have no idea of what James Garner was speaking, but I failed to appreciate the treasures of my life until, in an instant they were largely taken from me. I won't reminisce about the specific changes, but I was an active middle-aged man with a company. As I was mowing my yard I was hit by a car and now I am disabled. Active is taking a walk. The company is no more, but I am older. I survived and went on with my life. I also decided not to waste a minute with regret or feeling sorry for myself; after all I am alive. 

by Missy Bradley